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S4E15: Transporter 3 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-05-30 10:48:33
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

The adventures of gay asexual trans man Frank Transporter continue, but this time- get this- the package he has to transport is a young woman who barely speaks english. Will he break his rigidly-defined set of rules to ooh fuck me of course he bloody will its the SAME its theSAME MOVIE

-----Remember to check out our reasonably-priced Patreon for our bonus episodes! Check out our curated 'Collections' for a route into our huge backlog of hundreds of hours of gold-standard podcasting!

-----

FREE PALESTINE

Hey, Devon here. As you well know I've been working with a few gazan families to raise money for their daily living costs in the genocide. Thanks to your incredible generosity, we've been able to raise the money to register Ahmed and his family for evacuation from Gaza. I truly, truly cannot thank you enough. I hope the wait is short and I'm able to tell you that he's safe in Egypt very soon. Here are three more campaigns from trusted sources. Each of these are for a family that need your help. If you're able to help them out at all, it would mean the world.https://chuffed.org/project/121901-help-mahers-family-with-medical-costshttps://chuffed.org/project/128691-help-my-family-evacuate-gaza-war-zonehttps://chuffed.org/project/130802-help-rashas-family-in-gaza-evacuate-and-live-----

WEB DESIGN ALERT

Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/

Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com 

Files

Comments

Pandora

He's asexual now? Good for him

Clef (they-them)

Beginning with the Trump quote hit me like a flashbang

Various Ailments

I'm not about to do the math on the car tire flotation thing, but that's exactly how buoyancy vests for diving work. You take compressed air from the tank and let it expand in the vest, increasing your displacement. You can even get big balloon things that you can inflate with your regulator to lift heavy up from the bottom of the sea.

BarFly

Olivier Megaton is the French title for Doctor Strangelove

McThink

Grünther>Mighty Joe

Donovan Burns

Baffled by the idea of dumping toxic waste off the coast of Ukraine instead of just dropping it off in Chernobyl

BarFly

Man, Farid Elouardi looks great, and perhaps unsurprisingly he was in two episodes of Strike Back as a character who barely has a name.

Andrew Dunn

I second somebody else's motion a couple weeks ago to call the big boys "Jaws"es. Because Kill James Bond.

James Rule

Transporter 3: The Next One.

Strike3

I think if you want to see Jason Stathem eat it, you'll have to watch the Pink Panther remake with Steve Martin

Strike3

Andore from Final Fight is still in the cards and good

The Squash

I have to admit the 'comedy-eastern-euro-accent' drop sounds almost exactly like noted Russian weirdo (hockey goalie) Ilya Bryzgalov.

Tall Jeff

Speaking of same movie I'm genuinely worried for our hosts' sanity during the upcoming 10(?) fast and the furious movies. The summer of speed casts a long shadow.

rusty

Someone seems to mention the Matrix almost every episode of this 100% transgender podcast, curious. I do fear that the fourth film scuppered our chances of all getting together in our finest leather kink wear for the KJB Matrix live shows, alas.

Public Universal Foe

I mean yeah but an oxygen tank is made to compress air and withstand a decent amount of water pressure whereas a car's tires will visibly change shape if inflated too much or too little

Tariq Moustapha

Frank Transporter is AGP - Auto Garageophilia

Sword Through Your Window

completely unrelated, but is there any chance of a robot/mech season in the future? transformers, pacific rim, real steel, etc

aceofhearts

Anyone who didn't know that fishing was televised has never come downstairs on a Sunday morning and found their dad watching the fishing show where two guys discuss the conditions of the local rivers.

aae19422

I've just rewatched The Truman Show and you know, it buries the lede a bit but it would be a great movie for Religion Season.

Josh Anderson

The killing of Johnson is not unprovoked violence. If you have placed a bomb on me and forced me to drive across Europe, when I kill you, it is not unprovoked

Kobal Deux

Debatable. If you're not at risk of exploding anymore, then it can be sorted out non-lethally. I firmly believe one can find redemption from one's compulsion to strap bombs on people.

Meonlights

Abi: "The opposite of hair plugs to keep him bald." Me, nodding: "Ah yes. The hair plucks."

Noblese Oblahaj

A second Jason preoccupied with fishing has struck the podcast

SKetches

Just finished watching the film and the IMDB had a food based review that was slightly funny. Gonna go relax, listen to this and contemplate watching Bemphis Melle later

Noblese Oblahaj

Cargrave is the most powerful spell Frank can cast

Anthony

Andor quote in the patreon names lmao

Kobal Deux

Interested in hating on Monsieur Acquitté de Toutes les Charges some more ? Try the Taxi series. They are *reprehensible*. And sort of heisty, I suppose ?

Gesundheit

a Lovely Lady RPG mention has hit the podcast?

Kirsty McGuire

Just got to the stop being high bit. I'm trying 🧠

Donovan Burns

I like the films, but it's so hard to remember anything that happens past 5.

MartinS9157

When you were talking about all Jason Statham charcaters being Frank Transporter. I immediately thought of the Paul W S Anderson Death Race film from 2008. I could easily imagine Frank being busted and sent to the Terminal Island priosn to take Frankenstein's place in the vehicle combat races held at the prison.

Amy Fox

Or Spy (2015)

Amy Fox

I'm kinda surprised you guys didn't share a complaint I had, which is that the garage fight scene has Frank Transporter using his clothes to fight and consequently losing them, and yet they stop after the belt??? Have him get naked are you kidding me?? Escalate! He should've been strategically shot from behind exhaust pipes and shit like we're fuckin austin powers, when did they become so afraid to get silly with it? Terrible movie. Great podcast!

rusty

Ok I hate to do this (lies I'm born for this pedantry) but moving air from the tyres to a larger vessel would actually increase the buoyancy of the car. Tyres are under pressure so the air is compressed. Moving it to an uncompressed container would allow it to take up greater volume (if the water pressure at that depth is lower than the tyre pressure), displacing more water and increasing buoyancy. Nowhere near enough to float the car but maybe you could float a moderate cargo of phonebooks this way.

Joysweeper

every mention of "mighty joe" makes me think of that gorilla movie I've otherwise totally forgotten, so it's a good choice for a big man archetype

Meekle Togas

I hate to be a naysayer but I don’t know if Mighty Joe has the same staying power as say Professor Chimp. It lacks the several layers of incomprehensible inside joke.

Jacem

Statham is really underrated, as a comedy actor also. He was the only good part of that Melissa McCarthy Spy movie.

Its Devon Babeyyy

I agree, I think taking out the Big Bad is usually exempt from contributing to 'Unprovoked Violence'

Sam Price

Disappointed that there wouldn't be enough air in the tyres, I went on a brief rabbithole and found that automotive NOS canisters are over 750psi to keep the nitrous oxide in liquid form, so if the can was big enough, it could potentially have enough in it to inflate the bag. Releasing a can of freezing cold gas into a random plastic sack might rupture it, though. But still, someone should try it, for science!

Sam Price

Yeah, they're only about 30psi, so you'd only get 2x the size of the tyres' worth of air even out of the water. And that's assuming you can completely drain the tyres, not just allow the pressure to equalise between the two containers. A large NOS canister might work, though.

The Mad Scientist's toolkit

I don't know, my concern is that the first time you get a non-white big guy you're straight back to problematic if there's ape imagery involved.

Too-Many-Manchester

First time I got wet listening to this podcast. The topping chat has rendered me unable to continue cafe freelancing 🤣🤭SHHHH!

Anna Fish

Might I suggest Paulie for another option of Big Guy Henchman Moniker? Just look it up, the final miniboss from Reacher season 3. I thought the guy playing Reacher was a Big Guy, then this mfer shows up. 7'3", nigh unkillable brick shithouse.

Meekle Togas

Welcome to the stage Dayana Bridge!

zahracusdottir

Nova I have something to tell you about TV in America. There are channels dedicated to fishing on TV. My mom dated a guy who exclusively watched them and antiques roadshow and bring else

Ronin Fredricson

Jason Statham has the kind of hair plugs that plug your follicles so the hair can't come up.

Sini Tuulia

"There is no heterosexual explanation for this" is an incredibly useful phrase and would make a decent message tone

Commander Freddy

they got two gay guys and their random cunty girlfriend talking about lavender with fish? oh im sure.

Desmond Gonzalez

If you fuck helicopters does that make you an autogyrophile

Samantha Lienhop

This thumbnail makes me crack up every time I see it.