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S4E16: Transporter 4 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-06-13 12:43:14
Edited:
2025-06-15 17:10:32
Imported:
2026-06
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If I had a penny for every time we've reviewed a poorly-thought out 2010s reboot of a 2000s film series that prominently features three women dressed in identical wigs to fool security cameras, I would have two pennies-----

FREE PALESTINE

Hey, Devon here. As you well know I've been working with a few gazan families to raise money for their daily living costs in the genocide. Thanks to your incredible generosity, we've been able to raise the money to register Ahmed and his family for evacuation from Gaza. I truly, truly cannot thank you enough. I hope the wait is short and I'm able to tell you that he's safe in Egypt very soon. Here are three more campaigns from trusted sources. Each of these are for a family that need your help. If you're able to help them out at all, it would mean the world.https://chuffed.org/project/121901-help-mahers-family-with-medical-costshttps://chuffed.org/project/128691-help-my-family-evacuate-gaza-war-zonehttps://chuffed.org/project/130802-help-rashas-family-in-gaza-evacuate-and-live-----

WEB DESIGN ALERT

Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/

Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com 

Files

Comments

Dan Elkan

It's Skreining time

Delwyn Gee

Just an interesting fact, all of Julian Rey's other credits as editor are Luc Besson projects.

BarFly

I love and miss Ray Stevenson as an actor but I feel very strongly that if you're casting Ed Skrein's father you should try and get Mark Strong.

CrashMatt

The only film I can imagine even trying to challenge Rambo 4 is Saturday Night Fever 😬

Jazz Fox-Canning

Model Island Prison is actually just the Green Diamond St. Jail from JoJo part 6

Jennifer Houghton

Look forward to hearing about The Italian Job, hopefully the 1969 version as well as the reboot? Was Tony Beckley (Camp Freddy) the first gay actor to be cast to play a gay role?

James Rule

The fact that Smokey and The Bandit is more of a Transporter movie than any of the Transporter movies is just ridiculous.

Gary Alexander

Can't move on from Frank Transporter yet because he has a cameo in Collateral, and it's an excuse to watch some Vincent Collateral.

Josh Anderson

I would just like to note, unless they are wildly different than the hydrants in the United States, that is not how fire hydrants work

An impromptu concert from Bosco Hogan

Lately I've been getting into Indian films, that would be a great season. RRR is at least twenty times as awesome as all the fasts and furiouses combined.

weronika mamuna

please, please do Bastille Day – overlooked movie featuring Idris Elba, Richard Madden, a heist, and frankly surprising amounts of ACAB energy; i think you might genuinely enjoy this one

Eric Brennan

Can we please get Kelly's Heroes for heist season?

Nikola

i kinda like grunther over mighty joe. it's got more texture to it

Wolfman Jack

If you commit model crimes and you go to model prison, you will in fact, be... a model prisoner. Thank you very much.

Wolfman Jack

Every year, ones of innocent women are inconvenienced due to Cvnt-On-Cvnt Violence. For just €11.75 a month, you can help.

Winson Paine

I can't remember if I have beat this drum here before but rec for Paul Feig's Spy, a Melissa McCarthy vehicle James Bond parody featuring Statham as a 006 type who fucking steals the shit out of every scene he is in. Unexpected talent for comedy, that man

Scott Dick

If the podcast is swinging back into "Heist season classic", I'd love to see you do both the original Taking of Pelham 123 and the 2000s remake. I watched them as a double-header not to long ago, and it was interesting to compare how film attitudes towards police and masculinity changed between the two of them, (specifically the masculinity of the archetypal "New York Guy".) The remake does, unfortunately, suck.

Luca

Unrelated to anything but 2006's Bandidas is technically a heist movie and also stars Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek. You might want to check it out!

Kobal Deux

Points must regrettably be deducted from the gang on account of not mentionning that Frank Transporter [Dad] is TITUS PULLO, RIGHT ? (god that flick was absolute dogshit. Why do you make me suffer so, comedy movie podcast ?!)

Kobal Deux

Which Mark Strong tho ?

Kobal Deux

Oh, but re: the cobwebs and sugar thing, there is some truth to that. Cobwebs were indeed used as gauze to help stem bleeding in ancient times (and all the way to at least Bill Shakes, who mentions it in Midsummer Night's Dream) although wether that does anything more than just "put gauze on it" is disputed ; and sugar is indeed an effective disinfectant/antibiotic (to the point that it's been used in US prisons because fuck paying for real medicine, right ?). None of which adresses how septic this woman is right now because gut shots do do that also, but there you go.

Raymond Price

Petition to do Maverick (1994) as part of Heist Season. The case against it is that it's Mel Gibson, and it's more cons than heists. The case for it is that it's smart, fairly good on First Nations, not *no* violence but certainly minimal violence, and has a lot of guys (gender-neutral) you like to see. Also one of the filming locations is a couple miles from my ancestral manse, and it includes the last steam-powered sternwheel tug built in the US, which I think is neat.

The Mad Scientist's toolkit

Why doesn't Frank Transporter ever just say, "well you've clearly broken the contract so I'm out but good luck to you"? Then you can have people try to kill him I guess.

Simon T

You guys haven't done Inception yet, right?? Surely that's kind of the ultimate KJB heist movie?

John

Is mad max fury road a heist movie? Could it also be a religion movie?

Bran Mac Muffin

Everything he says in that film is a gem.

Bran Mac Muffin

Thinking of 'Wrath of Man' for heist movie season. Jason Statham (again), Andy Garcia, Eddia Marsan, and a total Jethro.

Winson Paine

He is totally comfortable in comedy even when it might undercut his macho action image and that is somehow rare. He is not protecting his image at all, just doing what the movie needs and it is so fucking delightful

scara b

genuinely took me 30 minutes to realize I've actually seen this movie before and absolutely forgot it

scara b

if you're doing a mini mini statham season can you do The Bank Job (2008)

Noblese Oblahaj

"I've invented a new kind of nonce detector." *Revs engine of BMW and turns to face the director, honks the horn, beep beep beep*

Noblese Oblahaj

I flick my wrist to extend my collapsible baton and realize too late it's my collapsible riding crop. My crew laughs. The victim laughs. I commit ritual suicide

Marion Bird

As soon as I heard “this might be one of the most misogynistic films we’ve seen” I knew I was in for a good episode

Will Cowley

Criminal overlook of the Doll-idarity joke.

GJH

Is Hackers a heist? That and swordfish could be a mini computer heist series

James Rule

Add Sneakers for the whole hacker heist experience.

-Kris-

While we're still in Robbery Season, I beg you to consider The Great Muppet Caper

weronika mamuna

in the historical novels by Henryk Sienkiewicz, set in 17th century Poland, they'd treat head wounds from fighting in a sabre duel using cobwebs on some bread

Alexandra Mitterer

I know there are so many heist movies, but please consider Logan Lucky, if just for Daniel Craig's weird Appalachian accent and the prison revolt whose main demand is that the Winds of Winter be added to the prison library bc none of the prisoners believe the warden that it still hasnt been published

Kobal Deux

Didn't know that, but that seems to confirm my asspull theory that the point is to wick the blood away from the wound so as to hasten clotting (and, thus, stop the bleeding). Caveat : I am not a doctor in any way, shape or form. Not even in RPGs.

Eskil Wendel

While I appreciate the sympathy for new!Frank starving for his abs, I felt there were A Lot of mean-spirited jokes on the models' expense. Being forced to look like them must be terrible, and I don't think it's a laughing matter.

Etienne Soucy

Love the car heist series! Hoping we get to look at Drive as both a really good car heist movie but also a movie that has interesting things to say about masculinity and violence. It also think it might be patient zero for the rise of the modern "Sigma Male" cultural archetype and the John Wickification of movies.