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THE HANDMADE TOY (Erotic Audio Role-play 18+) (Patreon)

Published:
2022-02-08 21:00:04
Edited:
2026-01-30 14:44:34
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Downloads

Content

This is just me and the mics, getting a bit quirky 😁... before 😫💦💦💦 If you’re wondering what I'm talking about with the 🤜🏼hand thing,

This is just me and the mics, getting a bit quirky 😁... before 😫💦💦💦

If you’re wondering what I'm talking about with the 🤜🏼hand thing, I made a little clip. 🤣

Hope you've had a fun start to the week! 

Smooches,

🧔🏻💜Matthew

Files

Comments

sabi

YES FINALLY, since your comment the other day i’ve been counting down the seconds lol I’ll be back 👁👁

IndyJane

I think you’re missing links to the new playlists. Looking forward to listening in a little while!

Meg_just_Meg

Hehe, literally a handmade toy ✊✊

Meg_just_Meg

Same. I’m not seeing them under the Tower Audios profile on Spotify

Kata

You make me laugh, which is so absent from other results-focused media. You've created an audioverse where I can feel safe and desired, a place I can keep that part of myself safe and healthy until I can share it with another person.

Niamh

I could listen to you ramble all day, it is magical what we do together when you think about it! Just a voice and some ears to listen to it and boom, instant connection 💜💜

NeonVall

When I saw the clip.. I Could feel the squeaky beat ✊🤌

toweraudios

Haha - hope it’s fun Sabi! 💜It was for me 😮‍💨

toweraudios

Damn! You’re right - I’m out at the moment but I’ll post when I get home! xx

Bibi

"The interactivity of audio" Real freedom! Thanks Matthew ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

toweraudios

That is such a lovely pat on the back, Katherine! Thanks for the 💜warms. xx

toweraudios

💥Zactly, Niamh💜 Though I think we’d have to add your hardworking imagination to the mix… xx

toweraudios

Hey Bibi! 💜 So welcome! Hope you’ve got another brewing… xx

Bibi

Aye, I do! That was too hot for listening surrounded by family What was I thinking?!?

Bibi

Hopefully, soon. I never get motivated to share music (I know, I know), but I have a particular favorite - just realizing I can't wait to share it

Venusinaphrodite_

“Part of me just wants to lie here and moan” please…please do, yours are my favorite sound. Also this felt really intimate like getting retold from your point of view how I actually touch myself. The hip gyration then thrust is key✨I don’t know whether to blush or to…

Titania

I volunteer as tribute.

Tara Davenport

Im on the my 7th bus to get around campus today 😇 obviously I can’t listen here ….or…..nah I can’t. BUT I HAVE A QUESTION IS CHOP SUEY CONSIDERED A RAGE SONG??!?

sabi

“Alright, switch me off, that’s enough, you’ve had enough of me” that was so fucking adorable ???? Also no, now i’m going to binge all audios out of spite 😎 All your audios are my favorite audio, but this 100% is one of my top 3 in the category “matt’s oooo moments”, because we could hear you came so hard and the fucking stuttering and and and the comment about you “pumping cum all over yourself” SIR???? I’m listening to it again after the fact and it’s making me feel all sorts of ways 🥵🥵 and the SQUISHY SOUNDS, holy hell Every single time you say “fuck” i c̶u̶m̶ pass out and it sounds dumb when i say it after listening to all of your audios 85 million times but your ACCENT, i’m asjakdjshdksdkj i will never get over it, you’re just so 💕💖💓💘💕💘💖💘💗 So, last week i promised a 45 page essay: Matt said he’d like to lie there and moan but he’d also like to keep talking to us. This suggests the belief that he can’t just lie there and moan for literally an hour without any repercussions. In this essay i will… ✍🏻✍🏻 PS: i’m just curious, you said you haven’t had any ✨research partners✨ to test your trick on yet but have you tried using it on yourself? 👀 unfortunately, i’m not a moby owner, so i can’t test it out myself, but maybe you’d like the challenge ;)

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Yes I totally want to be your test subject! Any other research I can help you with? 💋🐳💜 And if you want to make a whole audio of just your moans I don’t think any of us would complain! 🔥🔥

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Almost every week part of this scene goes through my head! 😂😂😂

rebecca

Does the line form here? I’d hate to wait in the wrong place. You made me lose all other thoughts, so I’ll be back when I get those thoughts. Except this one thought that isn’t going away — the moaning. The moaning. I can’t even emoji right now.

Tara Davenport

Girl this campus is massive and I RLLY HAVE TO PEE BADLY

rebecca

Lucy, I double dog dare you to listen to the last 3 minutes at the checkout 😈

Double LL

“He’ll beat us easily…”😂😂🤣

Tara Davenport

WAIT REBECCA I READ THAT SO WEIRD NVMND LMAO

rebecca

What the hell did you think I said?! Hahahaha Oh wait did you think the Yes was cause you said “obviously I can’t listen here…or…” because I would never suggest something like that. Me? I didn’t do that last week at all.

rebecca

oh let me just have a little bit of peril!

Double LL

Way to make me feel like a failure, Matthew. I can’t do your one handed toy trick 🥺. Wait! You know what I can do is the same trick with 2 hands, but in my version I end up with this handy dandy opening between my thumbs…😋…. I can make it bigger or smaller as needed 😈… hmmmmm wonder what I could use that for besides squirting water? Any ideas ….. 😂🤣😂🤣

Dawn

I have 3 weeks of vacation I have to use soon...just saying. I never did my experiment for my Psych class and I believe it was a requirement

IndyJane

Still in the afterglow. You are adorable, but, also, you are the worst. You freaking made me laugh every time I was close to coming with that damn “sucking you with my hand” thing. I ended up having to replay that couple of minutes a few times until I was desensitized to it enough to 💦. So I’m sending you a virtual (playful) punch in the arm. Punk. Don’t ever change.

rebecca

Well that’s good Lovey cause I was already planning on it 😋

toweraudios

This time next week, it will be no talking - all moans! We'll be having a whale 🐳of a time 😉... xx

Double LL

“Results focused media”!! I love it…. 😂

toweraudios

I can take them single-handed! xx✊🏻💦

rebecca

“Switch me off. That’s enough. You’ve had enough of me.” Matthew sweet love, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, fuck off 💕

rebecca

Waiiiit. Who put Titus Adronicus on there?!? Was that you Tower? 🤌🤌🤌

toweraudios

When does the secret public orgasm competition start? 😂

NeonVall

Hey.. 😲🤤 Haha Got a facepalm moment in the beginning and really thought: Did he really just mean that hand sucking movement?🤝 I just had to smile and laugh. Thought well this is all the sexy for the evening but fun.. *3 seconds later* Jeez my god!🥵 the sounds the moaning. being guided by your fantasy and what a fantasy it was! for a moment it was just the two of us in a steamy world .... Got a confession to make, don't know if it really works.. 😵😵🤣🤣🤣 hahahaha ok. Thank you for the laugh and the steaming fun. That is also called balance, right? And to switch you off?? heard enough?? who are you to determine that? it's never enough! maybe I'm needy but I cannot do that anymore! maybe not always the sound. But switching you off feels like cutting some rope and suddenly an entire island floats away with everyone else on it as wel. so no off-switchies.…or do you need us to switch off? Some rest en time to read the 700+ comments? 😅😂😘💜

toweraudios

😂Sabi 💜- yes I did try it out on Moby, but his most sensitive part was a little too large for the trick to work on properly... And lucky, or how would ever get any work done? 🤣 As for the essay, TU expects students to submit all coursework by the published deadline date and time, after which penalties will be applied of one spank per day overdue. xx

toweraudios

💜Jenn, that's funny because actually the next audio is a Bad Sex Therapist fantasy and you'll be helping with some research, and the next Turret update is something with all moans. So you're right on there... 😘xx

sabi

Too large 😳 damn my boy, that’s actually a very nice mental image lmao thanks for that. Also, a spank a day you say? ᶜᵃᵗᶜʰ ᵐᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ʰᵃⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ⁱᵗ ⁱⁿ, err, i mean, my cat ate it,, again 😇

Katie

My Tuesday savior. 😇🥰😍 I will see you all soon…😩⏳😴

IndyJane

Good for you, Rebecca. He really needs to be told to fuck off with that nonsense.

toweraudios

😃Damn! I didn't think of that, LL 💜... 😅And now I just had a go, and yes that would totally work but I CAN'T BEND MY WRISTS DOWN FAR ENOUGH!!. 😂🤣It's the wrong angle. I'm afraid you'll just have to come and do it for me. 😏xx

rebecca

Well now they’re short-circuiting after reading the next Turret addition will be all moans 😐

rebecca

As soon as you say go 😈

Deanna Tyson

Oh Bestie your talents never cease to amaze me. I love how “handsy” you can get. Sorry I’m laughing at this while meeting with my chiropractor. He’s got nice hands too ( but I like yours more…ssshhhh 🤣🤣). I’ve purchased more items from the merch shop. Can’t wait to show you guys. The last couple of days have been good. I had a mild reaction to some new meds but I’m ok. Blood labs have gone back up a little. Slowly but surely things are going ok. Thursday I have to have a surgery to remove some bone and bone marrow. Not looking forward to that. But it’s just more samples they are wanting. I’ve got a little bone decaying but it’s not anything to worry about. I’m doing ok. 💜💜💜 love you all!!

toweraudios

Mmmhm, yes, Dawn. 💜Psych experiment sounds good... Do I get to lie on the couch? 😏

Double LL

Always willing to lend a hand and my other hand wasn’t busy either….. well anymore that is 😉……what are friends for……😘

rebecca

Oh of course, I am nothing if not respectful. Thanks for signing my petition Belles 💞

toweraudios

🤣Indy 💜- I was gonna call the audio 'Sucker!' 'cause I thought it would be funnier than sexy, but actually, I found it so damned unexpectedly hot 😩💦💦💦xx

toweraudios

🤣And here is where I wrestle you over my lap 🤼‍♂️and give you a few love-taps on the bottom 🍑👏 Also: 🥰😘xx

toweraudios

I'll flip a coin. 🪙Head at mine or tail at yours. 😉[﹡Thank-you to my recent pick-up line research for Valentines audio 😂]

Victoria Williams

Honestly I was disappointed when you turned the mics off, I love your post-climax rambling! Its intimate and human, but also quite funny sometimes.

rebecca

Oh noo not me getting exactly what I wanted 😇 You’re still on thin ice though 😘

Venusinaphrodite_

Can we carpool to yours? I’ll make sharing worth your while. Let’s see if you can make it home to finish that line😛 unfortunately for you I think you’re stuck being my Valentine this year I apologize in advance lol

Dawn

Couch...bed...wherever you're the most comfortable love😘

Dawn

Hugs and love D!!!💜

Ann

Sharing is caring Lucy

rebecca

Belles belles belles, no fighting… I’m also still accepting V-Day applications 🌹

Ann

I totally agree with you Victoria 😤. I was driving and just sat there with my headphones on in silence for the rest of the trip. Kind of like “NO!!! Come back! Denial. Sigh 😔

Ann

Oh wow good news and ugh surgery. I will be thinking about you. 💚💚💚💚💚🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

rebecca

So fantastic to hear this Dee! ☺️ sending all the good thoughts your way for Thursday 💜

Venusinaphrodite_

Lucy so does that mean we’re on for our second date🥺 Elle of course! I’ll bring you food and a coffee so you can take a break from the cafeteria!😘 Aww Lovebug🤗 we can definitely share! I have room for everyone! I was fully prepared to not have any😭🥰

Ann

I am staying out of this. 😇

Kris

TW: g*n violence, ab*se, d**th This last week has been taxing. Days of draining clinics-- tending to an infected gunshot wound to the groin, discovering a parent and licensed pharm tech had been giving their 5 year old drug induced seizures, learning a patient had passed away due to total renal failure (their appt was to discuss options to prevent that)--a solid 45 mins of crying during one of the most emotionally taxing therapy sessions I've ever had, and relapsing into negativity and feeling gross about my body have clouded what could have been joyful moments. Today, though not as difficult as previous days, still had its own set of challenges. Despite those set backs there were plenty of reasons to smile. A small one's first steps were taken while rooming their mom, an organ transplant patient was reacting well as their body accepted a new kidney, one patient was crushing tears of joy as their medication was finally working for them and many of their day-to-day struggles had practically vanished. And the laughter. I don't know how it started but during a lull in clinic the team got to talking, which turned into an unending stream of quips, which erupted into full bellied, tear inducing laughter. We practically forgot all the horrible things we see on a daily basis, all the heartbreaking stories we carry throughout the days, all the faces of suffering and every bitter "sorry" we have to say because that's all we can do at that point. My point to all of this is to say that this audio, this page, the people here and what we're able to share is additional reason to smile during the day, even when such a thing feels impossible. Falling in love with each new piece people care to share of themselves, having a voice reaffirm that I am loved, beautiful, and deserving of happiness, all of it is precious to me. I'm kind of bad at and usually awkward at directly interacting with people but I do scroll through comments and smile at what everyone has to say. I might not remember to say this again but I love you lot dearly 💜 Sweet dreams everyone 💜💜💜💜

rebecca

Waiting patiently for your return. *taps foot impatiently*

Ann

Lose the paper Sabi I think it would so be worth the penalty. Also dogs eat papers cats shred them or pee on them. 😉

Kata

“Results focused media”!! I love it…. I should have said mainstream pornography, which is very male ejaculation focused (at least in my experience). I don't want to call that "erotica" just like I don't want to call this space "porn". Maybe I'm being too word-conscious, I don't know.

Ann

🤗

Venusinaphrodite_

Becca here for you❤️ check yes🔲 or no🔲😘 Elle I love you too! Honestly I have no idea🙈 I’m a giver lol

Ann

Oh 😳it hadn’t started yet? Oops 😬

Ann

I like it. Word -conscious is fun. Keep it up. 🤗💜

Venusinaphrodite_

Lucy However many I want huh, then I’ll take ALL of them thank you😂😘😘 but I can find it in me to share you with everyone as long as it’s me you come home to🤣🤣🤣 Elle way to my heart😍😍😍 I might have to fight Matt for that bed lol

rebecca

Kels, with my floofiest of pink glitter pens, yess ✅

Ann

Kris💜 you are so very worth all the love and happiness in the world. You are beautiful and maintain the beauty in the face of such ugliness. I am so happy you are here and maybe silently gaining strength and maybe laughs by scrolling through the comments. I don’t envy your job and couldn’t do it myself. You are like a beautiful loved super hero and even hero’s need rest. Sleep well. 🤗💜

Ann

😳wasn’t saying I needed to share. Was just reminding Lucy that it was a good idea. Kelsey you can’t just pull the ‘love bug card’. So not fair.

Tara Davenport

YES BECCA THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT

Tara Davenport

Elle that made me think about the go piss girl meme BUT YAH I MADE IT TO THE THRONE

Ann

Aaarrrrggghhhh. You pulled the ‘Love Bug’ card. Fine. I can share too but under loads of protest and you cheated.

Ann

Oh wow!!!! I want one of those!!!!! I NEED one of those. I am seriously lacking in the toy department. 🤥

Venusinaphrodite_

D I’m sending you all my love! We’ll be back in the freezer in no time💜😘

rebecca

Waiiit. Is this Piggy’s 🐷 long lost sister? *paging Mae*

NeonVall

how do you guys find all these tiktoks every time? Do they just come to you? 🤣

Double LL

K- I thought you meant other erotic audios … and we were just praising Matthew’s skills among that lot! I’m such a convert my brain didn’t even go the p@rn route. Oops 😬

toweraudios

😂Reverse psychology works on me every time, Rebecca. Ann - good idea. And Elle - I see you're in a good position already there... 😜

Venusinaphrodite_

Becca “fluffy”!!!!😍😍😍😍 my current pen of choice has an Angel kitty on it lol Annnnnnnn!🙊The sass I love it😂 I solemnly swear to not use my powers of evil against you and only use the lovebug card when absolutely necessary. Like right now, thank you for sharing like a good girl Lovebug😈🤣🤣🤣

Dawn

Apparently I'm on Kinktok. Something about being filthy minded...😈 and sexually frustrated

NeonVall

Nice to hear that last few day's where beter and you're doing OK! Will be in thought with you for Thursday. Good luck! Hugs and snugs 🤗🤗💜💜💜

Ann

You're welcome 😌 Thank you 💜🤗

Venusinaphrodite_

I need a review of these🙏🏼 I remember the first time I ended up on kinktok lol Sometimes my fyp really says FOR YOU😅

rebecca

omg I knew it 😂

NeonVall

😲🤣🤣

Elo

Every time when you get close to my ear, I feel like I'm dying to it and as horny as I have never had before..🤯💦💦💦

Ann

What flavor was the Kool-Aid again. I think we may have had a sip or two. 😜 Don't regret it a bit

Ann

OMG!!! NO TOYS????!!!!!!! The horror!! I don't even know what to say. Other than...Lovense toys are pretty great specially because Matthew makes a pattern so you don't have to do it. It is an extension of him. Yep. Pretty f'in awesome. I have some suggestions if you are interested. I may have 1 or 2 toys. Oh and if you go into the merch shop the bags that look like pencil bags can be purchased in different sizes. Bigger for at least part of the collection. I mean theoretically and the smaller for travel or for the 1 or 2 that you have. I want to maybe buy another toy to add to the 1 or 2 that I have. The yellow one in the video looks interesting.

Ann

😁

rebecca

Please don’t kiss it better then, I would hate that 😤

Ann

🙄 Rebecca now you are just being obvious.

Katie

Ahhh! Rebexa! You tap your foot, I’ll tap dat ass girl! (🤷‍♀️😂) I got like 3 and half minutes into the audio in the TBell drive-thru, but then it was going to get extra sexy so I saidddd umm time and place. (My Olympic friend, omg girl, Nathan Chen last night! Did you want to cry!? Such a come back story! I feel like I have so much to catch up on!)

Ann

I am not on TikTok. Do I have to be to find a duck or a pig toy? I guess I could google duck sex toy and see what I get. Oh...wow... this could be fun. But I have work to do....but it is just a quick peek.

rebecca

No I would Ann, I really really would. Kisses, gross ew..

Venusinaphrodite_

Lucy you can call me whatever you want, preferably yours😏😂😂 that sounds perfect! it’s cold this afternoon so it’s cuddle weather. I’d say c’mere I’ll keep you warm but you’re already hot🥵

Dawn

Google is the best Ann. It's how I found my purple-saurus Rex 3000 🍆

Dawn

This place is a consensual learning environment, with 🐳

Ann

Umm...I googled and I am not sure I want to go down the rabbit or duck or dog or whatever holes I encountered. Ok people I NEED sites that won't scar me for life!

rebecca

Yeah for sure, they’re super dumb and even worse when they come from boys who are easily susceptible to reverse psychology 🥱

Ann

Just found a PENGUIN TOY. Absolutely PERFECT! I am so happy.

rebecca

I’ll tap yours if you tap mine 🍑😋 I am absolutely delighted right now picturing you in that Taco Bell drive-thru, quickly pausing, and getting ready to recover with a variation of “I’m just really excited about this chalupa.” He was incredible! How about Jason Brown?! I could watch him skate forever 🤩

Dawn

But did you find a whale? If you do. Let us know!

Tara Davenport

Y’all I got like…two toys tops and one ion even use. The day I graduate college is the day I’ll buy one of those lovense doohickeys…but for now my wallet says “bish….respectfully…are you dingbat wafflefuck crazy?” To which I solemnly hang my head in shame and buy my silly little 150 dollar textbook, and pay my stupid little tuition payment plan instead

Deanna Tyson

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!! 🥰🥰🥰😘😘

Tara Davenport

ELL ARE U BY ANY CHANCE FROM NY BECAUSE I SWEAR THAT LOOKS LIKE A NY SUBWAY IN UR PROFILE PIC

Ann

😨 ummm.....................Did I mention I bought a penguin toy?

Katja

🎶Let's go back to the basics🎶 I remember when you talked about that simplicity a while back! It was interesting to think about why exactly are those forever-around things so important, especially for nowadays. On another note! That mental image of you teasing yourself, goddd and hearing about using my fingers made me literally ache. Although that suction thingy might be a bit too niche lol and ”you heard enough of me” love the self awareness. Kiddin! You saying it just so we can all deny 🙄😆😘

Ann

oh sh*t no but that would be epic!!!

Tara Davenport

A FELLOW NY'ER HIGH FIVE TO YOU LMAO

Venusinaphrodite_

Ann you did!!! Did you just order it?! Lucy 🥺🥰🥰🥰😘 perfect place to be😉

Ann

Ah ok then I guess? I actually think that Matthew is probably an expert kisser and I have to admit he seems to be pretty attentive with the massages. Just sayin. 😉

Venusinaphrodite_

Depends, am I kicking your ass or spanking it🥷🏼

toweraudios

Neon! 💜 You can do the hand thing?! ✊🏻💦You might just need to do it a little harder... 😜And yes - I know no off-switch, but the 700 comments!!! 😳 I still haven't quite made it through yet! 😂 Even though I can see most of the last ones are talking about the 700 comments. 🤣😘xx

Tara Davenport

ayO...not the hello I was expecting :O

Tara Davenport

YES FR...im literally in Penn Station 3x a week LMAO--I go to Rutgers so im on NJ transit 99% of my life rip

Ann

I need to go to bed now. TARA please don't hurt Kelsey because I need her around... because she is nice and interesting. FarFalla! Where are you? Matthew I absolutely loved this. It was so casual and intimate. Brilliant work as always. Lucy will listen to your playlist in the morning. I am still enjoying them. Rebecca you are awesome! Don't forget it. All the Belles Beaus and MotC are so incredible. I am the luckiest girl in the world to be part of the stellar group. 💜💜💜 My day was overwhelming but this...ALL of this helped. Kelsey good night 🤗 AND I GOT A PENGUIN TOY!!! Best day ever!

Tara Davenport

Ann....i feel like shes actually gonna hurt me LMAO

rebecca

Tara 😭 I am so sorry you have to Penn 3x a week. I’ve done that on and off throughout the years and would not wish it on anybody 😩

Ann

Ah TARA only with love. 💜

Tara Davenport

becca...u me and elle should start a NY support group tbh LMAO because we go through a very unique kind of trauma in this lovely state. BUT NAH I WANNA CRY MAAM...ITS SO BAD

rebecca

🥺 You’re a beautiful shining star and I love you 💫 🐧

Tara Davenport

lucy i am in tears lMAO PLS this is THE single best comment ever

Tara Davenport

mAtt hELP A GIRL GET SOME....LETS CALL IT PORRIDGE

toweraudios

Nice work on getting those bloods up, Dee! 💜🩸Will be thinking of you on Thursday and waiting to hearing how it went on the Friday post if you're feeling up to it! But first things first - get some good rest, huh! Hugs and snugs! 🤗 xx

toweraudios

Awww - Victoria 💜I'm sorry about that little tease! 🥰 I'll make it up to you next time, promise! 🤗😘xx

Venusinaphrodite_

You pointed a gun at me I thought you and Rick were back😂😂😂😂 you know I love you fooorreeevveerrr. Spankings are a reward not a punishment hehehehe

Venusinaphrodite_

Goodnight Lovebug!! I need a fun toy now too! lol and yes Tara only with love🥰🥰🥰

Emily Dawn

🥵😮‍💨 let me straighten myself up and catch my breath real quick. Nerd ramble ahead 🤓🤓🤓 The theme of this one is tangentially related to my field of study- my degree is in Human and Family Science. My favorite scientist is Maria Montessori. Her theory deals with early childhood learning/development and that obviously involves toys. The… uh…… SFW kind. 😅 Anyways, her method requires mostly neutral-looking toys so that the child’s imagination has room to fill in the rest. It’s really, really good for our brains. Which brings me to your audio- you mentioned old standards like dolls, the human voice, etc and why they never go out of style. I think that’s related to the intrinsic human quality that seeks to assign meaning and connection to the people and things around us (see also pareidolia). ♥️

rebecca

Kris, reading just this small peak of your job is so intense and difficult. You are such a strong person (though I’m sure you sometimes wish you didn’t have to be so strong). I know we really haven’t spoken yet but I’m proud to know you even just a tiny bit. You are beautiful and of course you deserve happiness. I love that this special place exists for all of us. I hope you’re sleeping soundly right now 💜

rebecca

Tara the only thing I can say is that the spring (literally, but hey, also metaphorically) WILL eventually arrive and it won’t feel so fucking terrible. Because April in NYC? The best place in time in the whole damn world 💜 Until then, I do hope you get wafflefucked and I’m here for all your venting needs 😘

Tara Davenport

BAHAHAHA nev—-never would I do that Kels. I LOVE YOU MORE SMH. Well maam excuse me while I bend over real quick

rebecca

Emily, this is really interesting and makes so much sense. Is this why small children like to play in large boxes instead of the toy that was in the large box? And does this also explain why blanket forts never go out of style. ⛺️

toweraudios

It's all fun until I get the bill for V Day. 😫

toweraudios

Dawn 💜I remember we had a comment thread on those toys months ago (well, not the duck specifically 🤣) Everyone loved them. Like they were a go-to finisher when you don't have my magical hand right at that moment... 😏😂xx

toweraudios

💜Kris. I'm really sad to hear you've had one of those weeks. Each of those circumstances just sound really tough - especially the child being maltreated by someone who clearly understood what a terrible thing they were doing. That's just tragic. I hope the kid has a full recovery. 😔 Nice to know that even when you're not feeling up for chatting that you're here appreciating and feeling appreciated too. Sweet dreams and I hope tomorrow brings a bit more light. xx

Venusinaphrodite_

Tara the way I just gasped at that first line😂 thank you oh benevolent one for showing me mercy and not Rick-rolling me again😘 ma’am you will never out-love me because the Tara love limit does not exist! Why thank you don’t mind if I just…🍑👋🏼

toweraudios

Hmmm.... I might be pushing the 'erotica' definition a little next week 😬 But it'll still be just me, promise. 😂xx

Venusinaphrodite_

Who said there has to be a dinner bill? Why go out to eat when you can eat out on the kitchen table…or counter😉 I promise I won’t be upset if you knock the place settings off the table when you sit down for your meal

toweraudios

💜Elo... 🎙👅I might need to try an audio where I actually lick the grille of the mic then! 😂xx

Emily Dawn

I think so! And I still love blanket forts. 🥰⛺️

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Another volunteer here for clinical trials! I love your weird little quirks. Not sure if it would get the job done for my tough pu$$y, but a good pounding and my magic wand would be a perfect backup plan. I know I said I love how you’re able to speak while c*mming, but if ever you just want to moan, I’ll be happy to listen to that. 🤤 No, I will never have enough of you. I’m still pretty dazed, Jesus. Don’t even have my panties back on. I gotta go clean my toys. Haha.

rebecca

🤣😂 Mona, I don’t know how I can adequately express this, but I want — No. I NEED a short film to be made about this moment.

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Is it the penguin satisfyer air pulsation toy? I have that one! Not quite as strong as the womanizer, but great for a descent price! Oh god, my retail brain is coming out. 😆 I worked at a sex shop before the pandemic. Haha.

toweraudios

Yeah - we talked about it ages ago in the comments, Katja 💜- and I made a mental note to think more about it! Voila. 😂xx

toweraudios

'Pareidolia'! 💜Yet another amazing word. That explains wallpaper faces, and why the three limes in my Caipirinha always arrange themselves into a smiley face. 😊 (Or that might be because it's my third drink). xx

Venusinaphrodite_

Ok really fast before I go to sleep one time I got out of the shower and was freezing. Decided to stand in front of the heater to warm up. Long story short I burnt my🍑 So cook times may vary on that meme lol goodnight. Xx.

Venusinaphrodite_

Mona😂😂😂🤣 knocking up😳 are trying to put a baby in me. Also my youngest was born in October soo😅

Titania

Dawn, I love that you have wandered into kinktok, a fabulous place to be. I blame Mae for my current addiction- never would have gone there if not for her sassy vids 😛 - and this is spot-on about my wanderings: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdk7PMdp/

toweraudios

Into the dishwasher with them, Kelly! 💜I saw someone doing this recently - where did I see this? 😃Hmmm... Imagining their roommate's face in the morning xx

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

I’m just so glad my fiancé and I have our own place now. They don’t mind if I’m loud during my TTT™️, but they still lovingly tease me about it. 😅 Or join in if they’re in the mood. ☺️

Emily Dawn

🚨😊🚨Yay Mona! 🔦⛺️ You’re definitely not alone. I feel like I notice it everywhere. Matthew, it is an amazing word! I remember when I learned about it in school and it actually gave me chills. Humans are hardwired to seek each other out. 💗 A few drinks probably helps it along. 🤣 Lucy- I agree! I like that both approaches seem to center the child and treat them like the complex and unique little human beings that they are. 🌻

NeonVall

*coughs* Yeah... i don't understand how we got that many comments..so weird 🙄😉 But yes I can do the hand thing.. but position wise not al that handy. Think I still need to sign up for the research

NeonVall

Do you need some aftersun to rub on it? For the first degrees burn works really well and cooling. Dont know If you need help? But I'm a nurse, I've seen it al 😉 👐

NeonVall

Dawn I applaud your research skills!

Honey D.A.

The way I was thinking "yeah, I don't think it works that way, chief, but okay, suspension of disbelief", and then you called it out yourself 😂😂 your moans and gasps are convincing as always, always love them 🥰 "cum for me now, babe" oh I'm weak 🥴💜

Katie

Matthew! We (Weee!) Belles were so chatty this weekend it feels like a really long time since I’ve heard your voice!!! …regardless that it’s available on demand…😋 I love what you said in the beginning about simple things and letting our imagination give them meaning. Less really is more… unless its your voice (at the end…? Yeah, right. Never.) 🥰 I was never really good at the hand, water, squirt thing…until recently… Ayyy! 😅👏😹🤜🤛🤦‍♀️🌊💦⛵️😳… These kisses were by far my favorite 🥵🥵🥵! Every part so so sexy! A good kiss or kiss sound gets me wet faster than ever touching the downstairs. So so so so good. Many thanks. 😁 I seem to have a thing with the number 3… 3am, TTT, 3 listens, 3 💦, 3 more hours of sleep… 🎶☘️🏘 3 hugs🫂🤗, 3 kisses😘💋& 3 Moby grazes 🐳, ❤️❤️❤️

Katie

Mona- You just enjoy girl! Your ❤️ is more than enough hype for me 😂 Matt- WAS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE!? Rebecca- “Give me alllllll the sauceeee…packets.” 😅 I would gladly tap your 🍑 and then boop your👃! So I didn’t watch it live so I missed Jason brown… until now and never will I again. Ohhhh myyy gosh! The split leap, the smile, the perfection. Wow. Obsessed.

Katie

Mona- 🤯🤯🤯 Shout out to you for using single quotes because a comment is speech. Mind blown. 👏👏👏

Ann

Tara I would love to send you a toy care package. When I was first at uni I got maybe two packages from my mom and I will never forget opening the first one. People crowded round thinking candy or cookies and I got a couple packages of Just My Size underwear 🤦🏻‍♀️. Please ask Matthew to DM me your address and I will have something sent. 💜💜. It would make me very happy to do that. Not creepy happy though I would also destroy your address to protect your privacy. Then you can join the Lovense party and studying will be easier 😁.

D

Yasss!!! This is just what I needed, Matthew! Thank you! 😊 I'm a big fan of silly, playful, Matt. That intro had me smiling like a school girl! Simplicity...play... these are things I talk about with my clients all the time! I suddenly wanted to be running along the beach or hillside with "grinning, playful, Matt" flying a kite and laughing at jokes in the sunshine! Don't get me wrong, I'm down for all the other fun, too! 😉 I did have to really stop and consider the comments on the simplicity of simply talking or writing. I hear you on the contrast from all the visual and complex pieces of technology etc. to simple words...and yet... what holds more power or magic than words? They can build up or tear down. They're transcendent. They open worlds of possibility and take you places more vivid than a picture at times. They can divide or unite, deeply wound, or even heal. Even the Bible paints a picture and warns of how powerful words can be. Look at this beautiful community and all the love, support, and sentiment shared...built on written and spoken words. On the one hand simple and stripped down. On the other more profound than we can sometimes wrap our minds around. Perhaps two sides of coin? Either way I'd say you yield more than one powerful weapon, Matthew. 🐳✒️ Thank you for using them BOTH for good. 🥰🙌😘💜🤗

Ann

Ok upon hindsight my offer could totally be taken as creepy but it really isn’t meant to be at all. I apologize if you were creeped out or offended.

Venusinaphrodite_

How thoughtful of you🥰 let me just slip off the robe today, I’ll leave the panties off so you have better access🍑🧴

Venusinaphrodite_

Yesssss to kisses. I just need a hot makeout with lots of tongue and teeth. My turn to saw YOW🥵🥵🥵💦

Katie

Not exactly audio related post… So I have a situation… one I think I can find the answer to myself and one that I know no one can answer for me. You all are very wise though so any wisdom is welcomed and warranted… Situation: I have one FWB. It has been like a once-every-three-years thing… I cashed in the week before my birthday in August thinking, “well if this is a dumb idea we will just keep it in our 20s” but it went kinda well. He bought me a bottle of wine and a vibrator- very thoughtful. I have had performance anxiety previously and this solution worked in this instance. Now, normally when we hang out I just 💨 and he 😴 after so we never make it to actual sex. He was my last sexual partner in the penetrative sense…8 years ago. My sex life ended almost as soon as it began…🎻. Anyway, so he texts me and asks me to come over (many factors come into play, especially it’s an hour drive) and I am intrigued, because it’s an invitation. So, here’s the thing…is this my ideal booty call and/or invitation, no not really. It is someone I know and I am comfortable around. But my feelings for wanting to go remind me a little of the “big cock ex audio” and I am very aware of this so it doesn’t bother me being said out loud, but being with someone is one of the few times I feel worth something… specifically to a man. And I also have a lot of insecurity about the “haven’t been fucked in forever,” category. It would nice to resolve that. And I’m young right, why the fuck not?! A lot of you have said many lovely things to me about self worth and that is definitely something I am working on. I want to confidently say don’t go, but my insecurity says what it always has and that is, you don’t get a lot of opportunities… There’s a conversation between Monica and Phoebe on Friends that I love so much, because it’s just so relatable and it’s something like. Monica: Guess what I’m thinking. Phoebe: It’s been so long since you’ve had sex you’re wondering if they’ve changed it? Monica: No! …but now that’s what I’m thinking! 😋 So there really isn’t a question I guess, just a call for relatability if anything… Oh and because the universe has a really weird way of playing with my mind… his name might be Matt… but it would be a waste of time to try and compare..🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😩 (And I’m posting this very quickly before I lose my nerve)

Ann

Katie you are so special in a wonderful beautiful way. I have no experience like that to draw in. My last partner was my ex husband and not going back there although a couple years ago he tried very hard [insert shudder and 🤮]. If you want to go have fun then go have fun and be confident in you. You are beautiful and worth it. If you don’t want to go in you heart of hearts then don’t. You will still be beautiful and worth it. Not helpful I know. And the funny thing is that I believe what I wrote about you with all my heart but I quietly laugh because I would not believe myself if I told myself the same thing. Anyway I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there by posting here. You are worth it. You are beautiful 🤗💜

Katie

Audioverse 👏

Katie

Based on this thread…where do I sign up to get publicly wafflefucked!? Hopefully not NJ! Ann is buying presents! (End Summary)

Ann

Sigh kisses. They were so nice. It has been sooo long since I have been kissed. While this place is great sometimes it really just highlights what I don’t or haven’t had. But it’s good because I still have here and I wouldn’t change that for anything. Matt’s kisses sound the BEST.

toweraudios

I hope you got a good sleep after that 3am-er Katie! 💜 I'm so glad you like my smooches! Now I really really wanna make it teeth clangingly passionate sometime. You know I was put off for a long time by listening to a certain creator who kisses obsessively. It was like a tic. After every few words it was like - "oh babygirl daddy loves you" *kiss *kiss and it made my skin crawl and I realised half the audios were just filler - just nothing - so I swore myself off it. (I also decided then never to ever listen to another male creator ever again in case I got lazy.) But I realised later I'd over-reacted! I figured a good kiss is a good kiss, so I'll just do what I want!!! 😂So it's nice to hear you all like them too. We'll keep doing us. 😌xx

toweraudios

D!! 💜Thanks for using these amazing words to really build me up. I remember a Bible verse from Sunday School actually - well, I don't remember the actual verse 🤦🏻‍♂️but it was saying "if you speak beautifully but have no love you're like a noisy gong" or something like that. It's great how some things stay with us. Well, I'm going to be speaking like a very very naughty gong in the next Bad Sex Therapist audio, 😂 but you know - I hope even those who are really sensitive might know that it's produced in love (and a little naughtiness). Biggest hugs! 🥰🤗M xx

toweraudios

Katie! 💜It's just so cool that you're so thoughtful about it, because if you're comfortable around him and he's thoughtful too, then you can look after each other for a time, right? I'm sure many of us have been in the position where we just felt like we just needed some physical companionship for a time with someone who was more of a friend. I have. I guess the only tricky thing is when the other person wants it to turn into something more permanent. If you're a really empathetic person, and single, it's sometimes hard not to just kind of give them what they want. But that's always going to hurt them more in the long run, because your heart will never be fully in it - even if you get caught up in some infatuation for a time. So I guess the probably obvious thing I'm trying to say is - I hope you enjoy! I hope it's a nice little getaway and a refreshing reminder of intimacy! But don't feel obligated to make it into anything you don't want it to be huh? Hugs!! Also, Matthew's support each other, so hey Matt! We even have a group just for celebrating our Mattness and talking when we've had a bad day if Matt hasn't heard of it: https://www.reddit.com/r/matt/ xx

Ann

I am at my after school tutoring/counseling expelled kids portion of my day. While truly sweet boy (needs positive attention) is working on his science I am trying to read some notes I have written so I can organize them for a conference I am presenting at in March. My topic surrounds language and math. Well, funny how I am sitting here reading Matt not math every time the word comes up. Up? 😂 omg I am 12. Anyway it is distracting so very distracting 🤤😬now let’s all hope that when speaking I don’t make the same continual mistake. “Consider what kind of language is needed to perform Matt task’s delineated in both Matt content and Matt / English language proficiency standards”. Matt has taken over. 😅

rebecca

I did say I would be back once the thoughts came back. But then I fell asleep and had the best day in a week 😎 You’re such a pro at transitions, I always appreciate that. From silly sexy hand movements to oh we’re getting naked now — and it always feel perfectly natural, which is because I guess it is, but you know what I mean. It makes my head spin in a really good way. It’s like tragedy and comedy but here tragedy is sexy and comedy is puns so bad they’re good from my favorite Kiwi 🎭 😘 The hand-face work in this literally made me throw my head back. Whenever you say how hard you get imagining us makes me moan a little louder 😮‍💨 I think we’ve all very much covered the moaning part so I’m just gonna hop right over that before I go down a thoughtless rabbit hole again 🐇🌀😵‍💫 But I didn’t mention the part where I think you came for 15 minutes in a 14 minute audio?? With the “babes” thrown in and a “good girl”?! That’s where I fully flatlined. Just a damn mess 🥵 All of which brings me back to why I had to tell you to fuck off. You can’t just end it like that 😤 My body is mush and needs you to Quora or something…. (but also that was really fucking cute so I’ll allow it this once. Still gonna stay on your lap though 😏🥰) P.S. stumbled upon this Emily Dickinson quote today and it made me think of you all 😌 — "I love to write to you - it gives my heart a holiday and sets the bells to ringing." E. Dickinson, L133 💜🔔💜

Ann

Hurray for good days! Also wow what a beautiful piece of prose. 🥰

rebecca

I may take a sliiightly different approach and feel free to tell me to shut up and ignore this. But this part really popped out at me- “I want to confidently say don’t go, but my insecurity says what it always has and that is, you don’t get a lot of opportunities…” If you think there’s gonna be a good chance that you’ll feel more bad than good about this, then I say the good should always outweigh the bad. You do not deserve anything that makes you doubt your self worth. Of course, if you approach it as more of just a fun time instead of one where it makes you doubt your self worth, and also communicate (so important!) that it is just a fun time for both of you, then I say gas up the car and open Google maps. You are beautiful, funny, smart, sexy, charismatic, and a million other amazing things. He should be so lucky to get you for a night. Make sure he knows that, but more importantly, I hope you make sure you know that 💛😘

rebecca

That sauce better be Diablo 🔥

Bibi

Matthew, I sent some of my macro photos (cuz I want everyone to jump onto the deep with me) to the Turret email address, and immediately got an auto reply, " If you'd like to add to the Belles folders you can send reply attachments here* ". I'm confused! Does that mean here, meaning the email address, or here, meaning the turret link? Merci, mon beau barde de l’expérience intime et érotique! 🙏 💋💋💋

Katie

Mmmm. The gyration station…😮‍💨

Katie

Sabi! I love all your cool font things! And yes to everything…. TU…I wonder what degrees you can earn there?

Katie

Of course, but I just call it Bex!

Katie

Dee! I’m so excited to see what you got from the merch shop! I’m so happy to hear that things are going okay. I think it’s a Confucius quote, “it doesn’t matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” So just keep hanging in and may your surgery be quick, painless and at the very least some dedicated sleep time! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

NeonVall

So it's 3:50 here and i was sleeping. 😴 💤 I woke up after a rather confusing dream.... only hands doing the hand sucking move and jets of water spraying around✊💦🤦‍♀️

NeonVall

Just combine it than? -🧔×🧔🧔+(🧔÷🧔🧔🧔)-🧔=

Katie

That is so so so much. I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be to compartmentalize the horribleness of humanity when you still have a job to do. But having those around that make you laugh that hard, seeing those little moments of miracles, finding sanctuary in the most unexpected places — that’s what keeps us going. Whenever I scroll past your “toasty” pics in the turret, I can’t help but giggle and I will always always take a laugh! Thank you for sharing with us! ❤️❤️❤️

Katie

Word conscious is a hobby of mine lol! I 👏 CANT 👏 WAIT 👏 FOR 👏 NEXT 👏 WEEK (WHY did I just hear the instructions for “Bop It” as I said that 😂😩🤷‍♀️)

Katie

Is that a whale!? But there are 2 blow holes….

Katie

Yeah, Ann what is this penguin? Mae!!! “We bought a zoo 2”

Katie

Nerd me all night long!!!!

Dawn

Katie, yes there are, but it was the only one I could find that looked like a whale

NeonVall

Katie!! Whatever you choose its the right answer. Really nothing wrong to have fun and than mabey test some things out as wel! And who nows after that it might become more regular? But most important is to listen to your heart. Do you really want to? Than tried it out and hit that! Because yes, you are young! Just don't 💨 first in case he falls asleep 😅 And just in case afterwards you think it was oke, not regretting, but not all what you thought it might be.. it happens. Trust me you would not be the only one... probably more bells here might have that kind of experience.. *coughs* .... but we lived for a night again right? So please don't blame it in on insecurity and the not a lot opportunities! Because you are a big hearted beauty 💜💖💜💖💜 and if you did it once and want to leave it like that. Totally fine, good and oke! Do what feels good for you because that is eventually also good for the other. So i hope you have a fun and sportive night 😏🤗

Katie

Matthew- Kissing sounds I think are one of the sounds that lie right on the boundary of “OH MY GOD 🤯😵🥴” and “oh my GOD 🤬🤫🤐” lol. That creator does not sound like my cup of tea either. Yikes lol! Im glad you don’t listen to other male creators. You doing you, literally, is perfect. These ones compared to previous kisses were much more articulated maybe even a little louder? It was so immersive- and the description 🥴! I actually stopped and laughed because I noticed my face doing crazy things without even trying. It was so good. Im so glad you changed your mind! Seriously. Just a lot of that would be a great audio. Yes please, let’s keeping doing us…together. 😝🥰😘💋

Emily Dawn

🤓😮‍💨🤓😮‍💨

Katie

I think what I love about sharing on here is never getting the answer I anticipate… which is so so good for an over thinker like me, helps me to get out of my head! Ann- I laugh because you laugh that you wouldn’t believe it and honestly it IS hard for me to too, and that’s why you are so wonderful, because you CAN relate. You are beautiful too, Ann. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Farfalla- “I think we don’t need to jump when we’re ready to jump, but we need to jump for ourselves.” That brought the most comforting, empathetic, thank you for getting me, tears to my eyes. Wow. WOW. Thank you love. If only it were easy right! But we try and we fall and we try again… You are so special and my life is so much richer with you and your words in it. 🥰🥰❤️❤️ Lucy- When you said “Don’t say no to life even if it’s a little uncomfortable,” my brain when HA! (We are challenged with this very much so.) & that’s the navigation is determining what I want to break the insecurity. So onward we trek right!? 😋 I expect to see you with pom poms, yes!? 🤗🤗🤗🤗 Matthew- it’s so cool that you thinks it’s so cool that I’m so thoughtful about it. It is my most conflicting characteristic. Like “Stop thinking!” But my thinking is what makes me…me! It’s so interesting that you bring up the feelings part of it. I don’t have any romantic feelings (I’ve tried really hard to in the past, and I just don’t 🤷‍♀️) but being the empathetic, single person I didn’t even consider my impact on this situation. I guess because I only hear from him when he wants something I just didn’t give his feelings any thoughts. (And I don’t mean that as negligent as it sounds lol) So thanks for making me step outside myself for a different perspective. I will definitely make sure he is aware of the Matt support network so he doesn’t miss the next meeting 😂😂😂. Rebecca- My sweet Rebecca, I can’t even nickname you now! I will never tell you to shut up! This is actually the way I was leaning so I do appreciate you picking up on this little detail here. That is the big internal debate, because it always has been, so trying to break habit and staying “authentic” is like wanting something and doing everything opposite of that to support it. Just so counter productive. Yes girl the communication station is my favorite. Thank you for all your kind words. Im so glad you stumbled here into this world and into mine.❤️😘❤️😘🥰❤️ Vall- “Whatever you choose is the right answer.” Something I am learning, but have yet to embrace. I loled at the waiting to 🌬…always a good reminder!!! I think that’s why I have to share things like this, because I know I’m not alone *cough* but sometimes I feel lonely in my “humanness” so thanks for relating. ❤️ Update: I said not tomorrow, but soon. Katie has a case of the emotions (hence the share) and I think she needs to take care of herself first. She sometimes refers to herself in third person just for a change, why not! So I’ll update you in like…2-3 weeks lol TBD. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Katie

YAY FOR GOOD DAYS! (Didn’t Matthew give a stat in a SFW audio about the number of bad/good days we have in our life?) Doesn’t he know we need the facts, we need the googles, we need him to whisper “I did not know that, did you know that?” These are very important things!!!! Let me help you with that flat line girlllll… lemme see what I got here… 🔌💡🤽🛁⚡️💥 Wakey wakey!!!!

toweraudios

😂Sounds like you had a long day Ann! 😅Hope you're home resting now! 💜xx

toweraudios

Yay, yay and triple yay for a good day! May the balance of them swing more and more that way, Rebecca. 💜 And haha - you joke about the 15 minutes, but .... no, I'll shut up until next week. 😂💦💦💦💦💦xx

toweraudios

Hey Bibi - that's the one and only possible auto-reply. If you sent the photos by attachment, I 'll see them next time I check the email. xx

toweraudios

And then the hand started scurrying around the house, calling itself Thing T. Thing 🤣xx

Katie

Mona! I was hoping to see you face here! I thought that too before I posted this about the sex drive of said audience lol but in a way that almost makes me feel the response is more authentic? Like if someone says bad idea then it must be a realllly bad idea! 😂🤷‍♀️ IDK! Lol I like the words “two-pronged”. Fork me. And that’s why I struggle to make a call. Because of the anxiety and such, I have a hard time knowing what’s actually good for me and trusting myself to make that decision. I love you mentioning the options to always change your mind. That’s so important. And what’s weird is that even “my decision” to say no for tomorrow gives a sense of control and autonomy that releases some anxiety. Like I have my terms, confidence type of thing. It’s like with one eye open it’s very cut and dry and with the other eye open it’s very layered and convoluted and messy. So with both eyes open it’s just a optical conundrum. Then I just choose to nap. Alone 😂 You have not misinterpreted and I’m so sorry about your allergies! We don’t have time for these micro particles all up in Mona’s face.

NeonVall

*padadada 🤌🤌* No idea how to write that tune 🤷‍♀️ ..shall ask cousin IT, he is the more musical one

Bibi

Muahhhh!!!!! 💋 💋 💋

Bibi

Part 1. Patreon keeps eating this, so I'll do it in two parts. Maybe, just maybe it'll work! I’m putting this at he top of my post, because there may be some triggers for some of you.I listened again (not the 2nd time) to this, and some stuff has come up. I feel a bond with you all, and knowing that I really am a member of this Court of Belles and Beaus infuses me with courage to share. This last listen was insanely erotic for me. It also caused me to ache til I almost just can’t stand it - for a man who can fuck me sideways up against the wall, and then soothe me to sleep. I’m talking about my partner, T. I’m pretty sure i've shared before that T ’s meds - that keep him stable, and able to continue working and living his life have also caused his libido to shut down completely. The only time he thinks about sex at all is when he's worrying about my well-being. I'm not going anywhere. He is The One. Over the course of my relationship with a hot paramedic I was dating (we met while he was saving me from dying from a deadly asthma attack! Matthew, that would be a fun role play idea for you, just sayin’), we went to a great wine bar that T managed. If you like wine bars, and you’re in Chicago, it’s inevitable that you’ll be hanging out with actors. I’ll tell ya, my paramedic had a fantastic knowledge of wine - he even had a sophisticated wine cellar in his basement! He loved this sassy, little French wine bar, and used to have long convos with T about years, growing seasons, vintages, etc. Angel introduced us, there was much ‘man laughter’, and that was that. FYI - Most actors in the world don’t make enough to live on. I did commercial voiceovers that I didn’t care for, and T did the wine bar. Well, T and I were both actors, and about 3 months after Angel and I split up, lo and behold, we were cast in a play together. We weren’t the only ones. There were 6 women, and 2 men. I watched while the other actresses practically stood in line to spend a night with him. T has kind of a younger Kevin Costner thing going. He was what Regency England would have called a ‘Rake’. Since I’d recently parted ways with Angel, and I knew that T had the capacity to break my heart, I moved gingerly around him. I slowly allowed myself to hang out with him more and more as friends, all the while keeping my little heart locked up. About a year later, T introduced me to a producer friend of his, and then we were cast in another play together. Mid-rehearsal, he came over to to my place on a Monday night (in the theatre world, Monday is considered a day off, almost universally). He was helping me look through some music of mine to pitch to the director. By this time, I was totally comfortable being around him, he was still ‘playing the field’, as they say, I was occasionally going out with some guy, and that was that. We were sitting on the floor, looking through CD’s (those were the days, if anyone remembers those!), and he goes, “Shit! I need to hear this!” Then, Van Morrison’s voice filled my living room, with “It’s A Marvelous Night For A Moondance”. I don’t know exactly when the air changed, and we were just looking at each other, sitting on the floor. T said, “It IS a marvelous night for a Moondance. Do you want to dance with me? Do you, Baby?” And then he leaned over, and rocked my world.

Bibi

Part 2. Two weeks later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A lot of men would have said, “Wow, I’m so sorry, you’ll beat this - sayonara baby! “, and run off in a different direction. Not only did he not run away, he held me in his arms for my first chemo session. He befriended my doctor( I’ve written here about Marty), and was there every step for the next eight months of treatments. I was going to quit the play, and he said, “Hell no, you’re not!” He got cast in a film several months into all of it, and he cut a deal with the producer to cast me in a small role - and pay for part of my plane tickets, as I flew back and forth between LA and Chicago for my weekly chemo. He knows about Matthew, and the intensity of the comfort I receive from this community, and he supports it 100 per cent. I could go on, but it drains me to share what he was like before the nasty depression beast brought him crashing down. I just really miss the intimacy, his closeness, his big arms around me… he sleeps in a separate bedroom now, because he’s sensitive to sound and movement, and, well my heart aches for him. He says his heart aches for me, too. He needs those meds, I mean it really is the difference between life and death for him. I’m praying for a new medication that will still do its job, and leave his man stuff the hell alone. Thank you, to those dear wonderful Members of the Court who’ve waded through this rather plaintive missive. Matthew, I know you’ve read it, because you care about everyone here, and you just shine. I never lose my sense of humor, so I’ll be fine. I hope it was OK to share this - I feel much soothed by the sharing, and I just hope I didn’t bring anybody down who managed to get to the end. Hugs and kisses all around, and please know how deep the gratitude flows in me, for you.

NeonVall

Hope your still doing oke D! And that the surgery went well! 💜🤗

Bibi

Sweet Mona, you're right! I've felt kind of light-hearted since I posted that a couple of hours ago. He and I both have insomnia, and he went to sleep about an hour ago. He said he would consider voice acting with me in some of the material I write - and that's huuuuuge. My T was once called one 'of the great new breed' in a cover article in Variety Magazine, and if he can can get back a little zest and enjoyment, well, wow. He just hasn't been interested in - well - much of anything, for the last three years, so that gives me hope. Anyway, thanks so much for your kind words. ♥️

Bibi

Three and a half hours after sharing about T, I ended up writing a little memoir of how I met my sexy paramedic boyfriend. I'm feeling SO much lighter! Here's a little snippet: I remember hearing sirens, and I remember trying to sit on my couch, but landing on the floor. It was all so strange, almost like at that point everything was in slow motion. I was wondering if I was going to die, and then thought it was weird if I was, because I could see and hear so clearly. But I couldn’t fucking breathe. It’s one of the most terrible feelings/experiences to have. Then I’m hearing knocking on my door, then loud knocking, then shouting “Miss! Are you in there! Is this the Bibi who lives in [my apt no]? Can you open the door?” Then a couple of pounds on the door (which was thick wood and massive - old lofts in Chicago are very cool), and then something was making breaking and smashing noises, and three guys came rushing in. There I am on the floor, thinking, hunh? It was as if Central Casting had sent over the top contenders for “Hot Paramedic of the Decade”. And the first Angel was lifting me up to a sitting position and asking me questions, but I couldn’t talk. I may have been grinning at him while gasping for air. So, he put an oxygen mask on me, and this other angel was checking my blood pressure, etc., and my first Angel, was talking to me. “Aw, there now, I’m going to take good care of you”, you know. Like that. Then the third angel brought the gurney inside and I was lifted and set down. My body was prone, and that was not good. I started gasping, and my first Angel, and this is how I remember it, but don’t know how he did it, he lifted me to raise my head and put his big strong arms around me while they were racing me out to and down an elevator, and to the ambulance. I may have been in bad shape, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to make-out with my angel hero. I was in truth, in very bad shape, and I kept passing out on the way to the ER .

Katie

It’s a rare, evolved breed of whale. Twice as much blow 😂

Katie

It’s so cute! 😂😂😂 The penguins and ducks look very similar to dog toys! Be advised!

Katie

Lucy. I had a dream about waffles 🧇.

Double LL

Bibi there are so many people here in so many different types of relationships, some who are still looking and some who are not.. it takes all kinds. Your posts are this glimpse into what a long-standing relationship built on love and trust and respect and passion can look like. I think it’s easy to forget in this crazy world the possibility still exists for this love. There are ups and downs, that is the real stuff that becomes the cement that ties two people together. If it was all puppy dogs and roses, who wouldn’t be in love. Thank you so much for putting these beautiful feelings and thoughts out there, I think we all benefit .💋for you 💋 for T (and come on 💋💋💋for our paramedic) **Have you ever considered a memoir?

Bibi

Aw, Double L, you make my morning. I was a bit worried that I'd shared too much, and not stuff that folks wanted to know about. Just a little worried, not a lot. 😉 Your words are very grounding, and put a smile on my face.. It's funny, you ask about a memoir. Most of it's already written as short memoirs! So, yeah, I should look into doing something about that.💗

NeonVall

I'm verry hungry now 😒

NeonVall

MAE!!! I was in the city today, and i havent been there for what.. like a year or so?? 🤷‍♀️ Anyway guess what! they're opening a official BOBA shop!!!! 🧋 Very close now to taste the original BOBA flavours in stead of the fruity ones I found after a very hard searching quest! Im gonna level up in BOBA ⬆️🦸🏼‍♀️🧋

Raegan Howard

That is my signature hand job move. Making a tight suction with my hand right over the head while I drizzle warm coconut oil over my hand and ....well you know where 😉

toweraudios

💜Bibi - well, I really loved hearing how you and T got together - the tension of just listening to some music… as if there’s no other pretext to be together… And Van the Man! Well, you couldn’t have chosen a more romantic and sexier song for your first time (love his album Astral Weeks for sleepy Sundays). But isn’t the diagnosis proof that T must have been so deeply in love with you. Wow. And vice-versa with the way you care for him now. The fact you both have so much respect for each other even when things are tough is just inspiring. Biggest hugs and snugs, and thanks for sharing a little more of your world. xx [p.s. The crystals are up in the photography folder if you have time to tell us a bit more about those!]

toweraudios

This is all true. It sounds like an eye-wateringly gooood start-up move. I think the coconut oil would help with any sensitivity. And then - moving down lower... I'm feeling it already... 😩

Katie

Too many thoughts Bibi! This was such an amazing share. I will work on forming my articulation. ❤️❤️❤️ You are wonderful!

Katie

Mona 😂😂😂 Breathing… essential!!! I can’t wait for the knife of a life-thyme! I totally admire your approach to the anxiety catch 22. I’m working on that currently - leaning in, if there was no fear- my brain survival mode does everything it can to distract myself from asking the questions. It’s impressive! Lol You have smart friends. That’s such good advice! Tthew!? 😂😂😂😂 Shall I go by Tie? ❤️❤️❤️

Katie

I was ready to family 😂😂😂

Ann

Matthew I haven’t been there in a while but was thinking maybe a folder for Celebrating Accomplishments. Just a thought. Have a great rest of your day or night. 💜🤗

Double LL

Do you need to see my birth certificate? Or will you just take me at my word? No my fingers aren’t crossed 😂🤣😂

NeonVall

mae I'm gonna suck them, lick them and chew them until they empty their loads in me 🤣🤣🤣

Ann

Oh Katie that’s nice.

NeonVall

Mona Does makes me wonder about your dreams now... want to share? 🛋🧐📋

rebecca

😂 this makes me want one that actually says “*dick - damn you autocorrect” …I just love horny absurdity so much 😌

Katie

Well, I’m sure wafflefucked was the inspiration for the waffle dream…I absolutely no clue what wafflefucking is. I just thought maybe a sex and then make waffles? Then just hand stuff after cause you’re full of waffles.

NeonVall

I believe you LL! Just want someone to get this as a present 😆

Katie

Mona, I feel a lot of joy knowing exactly what you mean and exactly how that sounds in your head. 😂😂😂😂

Ann

Mona so right it is so cute. Adorable bow tie. 😍 Katie. No dogs in my house and my toys are precious they are used washed and out into their special Tower Bag until they are needed again. But good call on the warning because that is true. 🤗💜

Katie

Also Lucy, you have the most beautiful skin ever. Give me the deets!

rebecca

Ok into all these theories. I think it’s when all the warm dips in your body are f*cked… (Ugh is there really no syrup emoji 😒)

Katie

LOVE IT!

Double LL

Well isn’t it your birthday too?!! Bex? NV? 😂🤣

Ann

🤗💜

Katie

Warm dips…like spinach artichoke, or you like a buffalo chicken dip?

Katie

My half birthday is soon!

Ann

Can it be my birthday too? I REALLY WANT MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Double LL

Katie you’re in!! And Ann absofrickenloutly!!

Dawn

I just realized my birthday is next month. Woo hoo! We're all having birthdays!💜🤣

rebecca

am I dead, am I alive? Did Katie save me? Did Mae make me a vampire? MAE GET YOUR CUTE LITTLE 🍑 BACK HERE. I need a drink 🧛‍♀️ Katie, have you also been sporadically hearing Matt say “I did not know that, did you know that?” since you first heard it? Just a real top notch moment. A toast to many more good days than bad! Thanks friends. You contribute to it 😊💜 Matthew, if you keep teasingggg about next Tuesday I am gonna wrestle you but never ever allow you to win 😠🫐 And I wasn’t even really joking about the 15 minutes either — exaggerating yes but good god I think it froze time for a second 😋 (when I say I stumbled upon that quote, I mean I’m a loyal reader of the Emily Dickinson Museum monthly newsletter and that was the quote they used in it to help sell museum stationary 😆)

Double LL

That is a fabulous idea, Ann!! My parents used to make each of their kids have an accomplishment wall to share and for ourselves … kinda reminds me of that.. thanks for that little walk down memory lane.😘

Dawn

So I was in my office today and I thought to myself, 'I really like spreadsheets.' But then my next thought was, 'No...I really like being spread on sheets.' You've ruined me Matthew. I can't even work anymore without you in my head. 🤪 And I wouldn't have it any other way 💜🐳💜🎧

NeonVall

Mine is In July as wel 😔 So at least we have each other Mona!! @katie half birthday? Halfway through the year? Can we celebrate that? I like to make parties for just random reasons! I just want parties 🥳

rebecca

It’s my birthday this year!

rebecca

Elle, stop at a Halal cart and make sure you get the white sauce 😏

NeonVall

... alway get the feeling than that I never accomplish anything 😅 At least I have the 700 comment's 😆

Double LL

I’ve seen your art NV… please… you are so accomplished!!

Ann

Truth

NeonVall

@Mona I hope our dreams can synchronise Tonight 😏

Ann

Hurray. Plus my birthday is next month so very close.

NeonVall

LL that is so kind of you to say 🥺 I probably see that less because it's also relaxing for me..and always think there are enough people better than me. but thank you for the reminder!

rebecca

There’s no tie emoji but there’s three fucking fairies?! (I still laughed 😜)

NeonVall

Still need to make my bed... but I'm also thinking if I wait a day.... than its not that I need to change right away 🤪 I had wrong timing for this🤦‍♀️

NeonVall

I would say the more the merrier 🤗🤗😴😴💭💭 Should we align our watches so we don't mis each other?

rebecca

Mona, it’s travesty after travesty today ☹️

rebecca

😍 Gimme your fireee ❤️‍🔥

Katie

Vall, let me tell you. Here in the states the school birthday is a big deal, and was a much bigger deal 20 years ago when there weren’t all the food allergies. My birthday is in the summer so I could never celebrate it then, so I would celebrate my half birthday instead. 😂

Dawn

I'm sorry Mae. I know the feeling. If my coworkers only knew what was going through my brain most of the time...

Katie

Plate, Place. Knife, Night! We can have all the sporks we want (lol @ sporky from toy story) What is happening 😂😂😂😂 Tie, is that soup? Like Thai? And what is a cravate (crah-vaht-ay?) There is 👔! Have I made it all worse!? 😂🤷‍♀️

Katie

It gives me chills! Like I don’t know if I’ve ever known anything, but say it again let’s see!

NeonVall

I can say smart because then you can treat at school... but noo it's brilliant!!! because 2 parties!

Katie

Elle you get that special sauce girl. Quick little protein snack. I gotta get on Lucy’s skincare regiMEN. (So wait, is wafflefuck not a thing!?)

Ann

Thinking about you 💚💚💚🌺🌺🌺

Katie

Yes LL! I’m so glad you said that! Vall I always forget to mention your art! The church! I love it so much!!!

NeonVall

I think I will go to bed soon 😚🏃‍♀️🛌. I'll bring some fruit 😏

Katie

I just bought new sheets and my first thought was “I can’t wait to ruin these!” Nothing is innocent anymore. 😂😂😂

Dawn

Agreed! Every little thing is drenched in innuendo.😈

Katie

I’ll bring the syrup!

NeonVall

@lucy right! What difference the order of words could be @katie ow yes indeed you wil bring syrup 👀👀

Deanna Tyson

Super sore and still majorly high right now (now sure if I’m even spelling correctly or if this makes any sense). But I have a bunch of stories to tell that happened while under anesthesia. One is super embarrassing because my mother was there and another involves you all…but I’ve gotta go back to bed. Meds are super strong. 💜💜

Katie

❤️❤️❤️ I’m glad it’s now in the past! Now hopefully some good sleep with fun dreams and I very much look forward to that story! Happy High! Sleep well! 🐑🐑💫🌙⭐️🐑🐑

NeonVall

Here it comes .................. 🧋😁🥄

NeonVall

Ahh the anaesthetic dreams and pain med high. Can't wait for the stories 🤣. Have a nice night tonight! sleep well! and glad that surgery is done! hopefully you will have some nice and relaxing recovering time 💜🤗

NeonVall

Thank you Katie 🤗 Mabey I will send some new art soon 🙃😄

Ann

I am so glad you checked on 💜. Rest 💜💚💜

Ann

The bad tutor one ruined I cannot believe how critiquing a paper could be 100% innuendo. My mind was blown. Blinders are off and it’s a whole new world. 👓

Titania

Rest well. Can't wait to hear the stories! 💙💚💛

Titania

💜Matthew- I'm late to the comment party as usual, so I'll keep it simple. I really love that you just spent a few minutes just… playing. I laughed along with you as you explored the potential of your squirty-hand, and now I've got a video looping in my head of k!ds playing at the beach and it's so pure and simple and *sigh* I need more of that in my life. I wrestled with some hard ch!ldhood memories this week and made some more progress, and you've inspired me to seek out silliness and joy. Now onto the impure section: unscripted Matthew is a delight. Please, yes, more! So good. I think we're lucky to get this as well as your more measured poetic imagery. Both styles do something amazing to me. It's after midnight here and my melatonin is kicking in… I've already drifted off several times trying to write this. 😅 Off to dreamland. 😴 💙💚💛

IndyJane

❤️❤️❤️

IndyJane

Bibi, thank you so much for sharing your story. I mean this as a compliment- you did a really good job about talking about your experience of your sex life without going into T’s experience too much. I have not talked about my IRL relationship here because I don’t know how to only tell the part of the story that is mine to share. I’m still sorting that out, but I really appreciate the example you’ve set.

toweraudios

Yay! Great to hear you’re (halfway) back with us Dee! Rest up and can’t wait to hear about it later! 😘xx

Bibi

Matthew, yeah, T and I got somethin' very special and rare. I really love how he takes comfort that I'm engaging here with you guys. We'll get through it - I'm not worried, I'm just sexually frustrated to the point of tears, maybe every other day. Or not sexual frustration, per se, but my animal woman body feeling neglected, and craving touch, you know? That being said, I'm undergoing a personal creative and artistic renaissance since I discovered you - T is also aware, and grateful for that, as am I. I'm listening to Astral Weeks for Sleepy Sundays right now. It's great to revisit - TY. I'll be sending you my story about my insanely sexy paramedic boyfriend tonight. I just read it over, and it's so fun to remember that the way we met was a come-to-life living breathing rescue fantasy that I'd had since I first started liking boys. Plus! He loved to play "Paramedic" with me. LOL BTW, I did check the photg folder, and didn't see the ones I sent the other day. No worries on timing - I care about your time. Just as soon as I know they're there, I'll share my love affair with Macrophotography, and how it opens the gateway to the Deep, mystical world of cystals. ♥️ 🙏

toweraudios

Hope you’re resting now, Titania! 💜I did a brief stint in therapy last year which went into childhood stuff and wow was it emotionally draining. Like - I definitely needed to let the subconscious process that stuff. Thanks so much for the thoughts! 😘

Bibi

IndyJane, that's really great to hear. I think that all we can do is represent ourselves. I am very close to my partner, but his experience is his, and I can intuit and make intelligent guesses based on our history and closeness, but still, I could never speak for him. Whatever you're going through, you say you're still sorting it out. That's great. When you feel you're ready, this is a beautiful place to share. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

toweraudios

Bibi - those photos have been up in the photography folder for hours now - you need to refresh your browser or something? 😘xx

Bibi

Lucy, you're a photographer, yes? I love that. I noticed right off the bat your references to music, and I also love that about you. It's the aesthetic of binding your experience to music that wows me. It speaks to the Deep, and that's my place! Very Jungian, but don't ask me to explain that! LOL Thanks for your sweet words. T and I will be, and are fine, I see this as hugely annoying, but I'm not feeling like it could break us apart, we're too solid, peas in a pod. Deep down he wants his sexy self back, and he'll get it back, eventually. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

Bibi

Katie, I have a Tearoom in my Dreamland. The ladies all wear beautiful flowing clothes, and big sun hats. It's not in this now, but I can speak to the Cook tonight. If she's willing to whip up her magic waffles, would you like to come? Anyone reading this is welcome. Just look for me - I'll be the one wearing the lilac/purple big-brimmed Tea Hat.

Bibi

Matthew, Chrome's the culprit! I switched to Safari, and a lot more was visible to me, not only my photos. Thank you. Chrome gets persnickety at times. TY! 🙏

Emily Dawn

Yesss! I love RTJ. I’m a big fan of Killer Mike’s solo projects, too. 😘

Katie

I was listening to the guilty pleasure playlist on my way to work…and wow what a collection 😂👏👏! I have to say though.. the “M” who but “Blue” on there is in so much trouble.🙅🏼‍♀️ Every time I even think about it I have to immediately scream (in my mind) before it gets stuck in my head. Mae….Mona…who did it!? 🦵🍑👋

Dawn

Matt, I read your comment in the middle of a department meeting. The coworker next to me just asked if I was feeling OK because I look flushed.☺ I go back to my first comment... You're killing me smalls. What a sweet, sweet death ☠

Ann

Which is the guilty pleasure okay list? I can only find 5 playlists of Matthews. Are there more?

rebecca

So happy to hear from you!! Wishes for an easy recovery; we’ll be here when you’re ready for stories 💛💛💛

Madison Diaz

Super hot and very passionate/romantic at the beginning ❤️🥰

Tara Davenport

ANN I ONLY JUST SAW UR COMMENT OSMSKZKFRKF ITS NOT CREEPY AT ALL BUT SIS NAH I CANT LET U SPEND UR MONEY ON ME LIKE THAT

FFSWhatudoin2me (K)

Happy SuMonday 😀 Rainy day… snuggled under the duvet… Looks like I might return to my early days of tuning in on a Sunday. Hahaha… I can’t with you my loveable muppet…. But… Where’s the link? Signing up… *fluttery laugh* 😘 Fucking me while you’re sucking my clit with your hand… UgH… I need to go find that clip now because I’m so intrigued. Think I know what you mean… 😏 The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the title was the TV series The Handmade’s Tale… 😏 Which I haven’t yet watched, just seen clips. So true… this Sexyverse is just pure and simple, lovingly crafted and thought through audio, and sometimes visuals… gems… catalysts for connected minds and bodies… in so many unique and sometimes shared-experience ways… 🙃 My mind… 😀… I’m here first picturing you and your friends squirting water at each meters away, from your… what a collective Moby visual… 😂 Then I’m like - of course that’s not what he means… it’s something more simplistically technical… 3:17 - *grunt chuckle* 😍 Those kisses… J’ADORE… Uhuh… it’s who gets to grip the bottom lip first in this delightfully intimate duel… 😍 G** the teasing… you don’t have to ask me twice… freakin live for it… the ANTICIPATION… G** you look so FH doing that… 🙄🔥🤤🥵 … making this needy little pussy so wet… *moan* Your “babe”… loving the injection of this new endearment… 🙃 G** you know just the way I love it @ the play by play… slow… deep… opening up… spreading the wetness… putting it back in… It’s such a beautiful thing to be able to do and say things to turn on another… and bring that pleasure right back to you… I’m all about the Giver Pleasure Cycle. 🙃 The way we say “Fuck” together… always… 😏 9:48 - the way she clenched @ that MOAN… FuCk… 🔥😻 My smile as I hear it… 🙄🔥🤤… me giving you the weightlessness of my leg so it hitches up so easily… you sliding underneath me… G** I want it so bad… FUCK… that sensation as you slide in… always hits the synapses just right… FuCk mE… “…fuck you and suck your clit with my hand at the same time…” 🔥🥵💥 Happily dying rn… That “Oh G**” always gets me… The way we let go together… OMFG… “…punish that pussy…” 😏🔥🥵 cumming so fuckin hard all over you… Fuck… SO much… Switch you off…? After I re-listen for the third time… I haven’t had a chance to go through the remainder of those comments yet… I’m sure you had a ball! 😁 When you lay your head down, angels on your pillow. 💛😘💜

Anonymous

Heeeeey. So I'm not really one for letting my heart bleed all over the page but 🤫😏 I'm going back down the rabbit hole where old is new again. This audio feels intimate and sweet, while still being 🔥 of course. I was listening and following along 😌 but something about the end got me. To feel safe, in tune, and then as you coax an orgasm out of us, you say "good girl". I was hit with this small but mighty surge of... contentment? It felt right. It felt like any shame was gone in those seconds and I started to cry. I hate admitting this. 😂 I don't cry easily so maybe it was needed idk but that wave of warmth hit a cold inner wall inside me and the dam broke, ha. Just a few seconds. Like a piece snapping into place in a puzzle. Having tears running into my ears, not from sadness but from that positive, protected feeling you provided me. You passionately love us up with your words, let us sink into the safety of your voice, and hold us when we need it. This still continues to be a fascinating experience where we mostly experience you... well, without a present conscious you. So maybe sometimes it's nice to hear. 💜