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STORMS (Erotic Audio Role-play 18+) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-04 23:00:03
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Hey -

This one gets pretty emotionally raw at points. Just so you know.

Smooches,

🧔🏻💜Matthew xx

[M4F] STORMS [Immersive] [Boyfriend experience] [After an argument] [Emotional] [Binaural SFX] [Romantic] [Rough and loving] [Creampie] [Mutual Orgasms] [Body appreciation] [After care] [Snuggling in stormy weather and heartbeat]

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Comments

Raegan Howard

Could that be anymore perfect with the thunderstorms happening currently?!?!

Niamh

Oh man I don’t know about this one just yet 😅 For those interested I’ve gone with the idea of writing down my recent experiences in a novel-esque way 😂 Not sure if I’ll ever do anything with it buuuut I’m sure whatever I come up with will be shared here haha. Much love to everyone 💜

aleigh -`♡´-

heyyyy. i’m all of two minutes in, but i’m already confident in saying that this is my favorite. not one of. this is my favorite-favorite. i'm excited (and a lil scared) to scroll through the rolodex of reasons why this one’s so impactful for me already, and gonna try to write it out sensibly and without explaining my whole existence lmao. this is coming at a very convenient time, kiwi. thank yoooou 🩷

D

I've missed you, Matt. Trying to figure out my own "situationship". Sometimes it's hard to hear these because it doesn't seem fair to compare fantasy to reality. And ya know... there's the whole I deserve the best though mixed with setting aside expectations to give what is a chance to grow. Thanks for giving me a soft place to land and escape and be. 😘💜🤗

aleigh -`♡´-

i’m all misty eyed and trying to collect my thoughts. i really, really love this one. i had a premonition i'd feel strongly about this from the jump, because i immediately felt as if you were speaking to multiple versions of myself. you made the current aleigh and the scared, small aleigh who couldn’t make sense of what’s going around her feel safe. all the versions of myself don't take that lightly. i hope this was cathartic for the many great versions of matt there are. i just wanna give you a big hug 🥺

Kateastrophy

Wow 🥹 I'll do more coherent thoughts when I'm not half asleep, but I really felt the person in this audio was me. And we all know I think emotional intelligence is sexy as hell. This audio is perfection 💜

Ariel
>>112196901

What’s really interesting to me is that I think it’s probably going to hit people differently based on how they project their own history on it. Like I know, for me, exactly the reasons it made me feel the way that I felt. It’s fascinating because I’m going through that with something I’m working on and I’ve been feeling incredibly frustrated with a collaborator before realizing that the base issue is that they’re projecting their feelings into it, but in a way that skews the whole thing. Soooo trying to fix that 🙃

Elmyra Forest

Definitely one of your audios that is hard to listen to because there’s a big disconnect between this passionate audio which is full of desire and longing and where I am now currently in my relationship. That being said, I remember this feeling and this love in your audio, Matt. (I’m mildly offended that Siri tried to autocorrect audio to Aussie! How dare it!) The kind of emotional love and longing feels like a type of anguish. It wrenches tears and gasping breaths. The sound of the heavy rains outside… perfect. Thank you, Matt. This was beautiful.

Linda

SIgh, I'm processing what I'm hearing, this is a beautiful, very realistic, rendition of what a loving couple will experience at some point in a committed relationship. I found myself remembering a month before Ben and I got married, his ex girlfriend called him to have dinner and he agreed to meet her and another couple they hung out with but he never mentioned the dinner to me. However, I found out from his brother who actually ran into him and his ex at the restaurant...long story short, when I found out, I packed a bag and left to process everything I was feeling, including betrayal. I told our parents I needed a few days away and that I needed distance from him because many crazy scenarios played out in my head that didn't included me but both of them, my mind was telling me to run and my heart was breaking. 2 days in on my retreat to nature I get a phone call from his Mom, she said he was devastated and wanted to talk with me. I agreed, so we met and talked.today hearing this audio the memories came to the surface in my mind, I feel like I'm reliving that beautiful moment of misunderstanding, declaration of love and how vulnerable the human heart can be, but most of all forgiveness. Matthew thank you for this beautiful audio, your script depicts the art of forgiveness and true love, and how vulnerable and breakable (but fixable) we can be in a relationship. Again thank you Matthew, you have such depth in your amazing mind and soul... And heart😉. With fondness, gratitude and love, L 😘🤗😘🤗😘🤗

Pisces Queen

This one had me in my feels 🥺! It's giving #Booktok boyfriend experience FR! The monologue was well written and staged. That was a bit of fantasy/magic I believe that every woman should experience at least once in their life. I often wonder if we as a species can ever really love each other this genuinely without society admonition on who we ought to be. It's easy to get jaded, feel gaslight or not care about another person because of past lessons but I really loved the part Matt when you said you're not them (past relationships). That's so poignant. I guess I'll be a fool for love who longs for this type of love. I'll keep believing in magic, fairy dust, rainbows and butterflies when love comes my way 🥰. The ending was ....a magnificent geyser blowing up in a rodeo stance 🤣! I hope and pray the listener had the knees of Megan Thee Stallion, Rode "on that 🥒 like road rage/f**king with me, he gon need sage" like Flo Milli and felt "...lost, but I like it Comfort in my sins and all about me All I got right now,Feel (ing)the taste of resentment" like SZA in SHIRT ALSO MATTHEW - last Tuesday audio/video was HOT 🔥🔥🔥🥵 ! The man nips were nipping in that heavenly knit top and those pants were: DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMNNNNN 🥵🤣! THAT OUTFIT WAS MAGIC MIKE WORTHY OF A STAGE PERFORMANCE!!! I need a little Chris Brown Under the Influence playing in the background and Matt's Twin doing a strip tease in that fit FR FR 😏😏🤣🤣! If men could be saucy tarts....baby we would have a frigging pie 🤣!!! Friday's Audio - That was a Freaky Friday F**k Fest starring the skirt and Matt's fingers..because the skirt or outfit started the show and the finger started the party lol 😆. Talk to you all on Friday 😘😝🤗!!!!

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

I made sure I was multitasking around the house while I listened since I knew how this would hit me in the beginning. But it was cool to be listening with the fireworks in my background since I can hear them from my home. And the audio did put me in a better mood for a bit because your voice always puts me in my happy place.

aleigh -`♡´-
>>112200998

pq, i love this whole comment, but i have to point out your musical choices! megan, flo milli, and sza are always in my rotation while i'm driving. at full volume of course! i have a feeling us road-tripping would be amazing🤣 sending you love, prettiness! 💜

Sarah Ruth

Fitting that there’s a midnight storm flashing lightning through my blinds while I listened to this. Beautiful narrative with this one, MT. 🫶

Kateastrophy

Everyone on here got me in the feels all day and thinking about what I'm like in an argument 😅 I'm definitely the kind of person who would just let you yell at me then silently pack my shit, burn that bridge and never look back. Nobody has ever acted like I'm worth their time, so I'd rather walk out than wait for them to kick me out. And that's why this was a kick in the guts. Because I have yet to meet anyone who would ask me to stay, tell me they're listening to me and my feelings, and try to make amends. That's just not my reality. And then inviting me into your lap, getting to hug it out? Irl me would have been crying my eyes out, ruin the mood and nothing sexy would happen because I'm a mess 😂😂 You know I love being able to comfort someone like that (well I like the idea of it I ever get to make it a reality). And the extended sfx was the final nail in my coffin 🥲 idk I think there's a sense of loneliness and longing in this audio (for me) (and yes I'm sure some language out there has a word for it but I am white girl with one language that I can barely speak 😂). I'd love for someone to fight for me, because having to fight for yourself your whole life is exhausting

Linda
>>112222239

Kate I do not know you well, what I do sense you are very much like my first born Emma, she is beautiful beyond words, smart, kind, and strong willed. Baby girl, you're still young and what our beautiful Matthew gave us in the audio is a 17:26 minute rendition of a situation that is very different in real time. You WILL find that one who will fight for you and the love you share and if you don't, do NOT let it define you, look for the one who will enhance your life, not complete your life because you are the WHOLE package my lovely.....beautiful beyond words, smart, kind and strong willed, it is your journey only a fool would walk away from you and if he does, he was not worthy of you. Now, let that beautiful light shine😘🤗

Harriet

“Look at your naked man…you have all of me.” I swoon and die of happiness on the spot. I don’t want to analyze this. It’s like quietly opening up the best Christmas gift I’ve ever received, standing up and walking over to you, giving you a hug and a kiss and leaving the room before anyone can see my face, to absorb the moment in peace. 🥰😭

aleigh -`♡´-

i have a whole ass thesis (rough, rough draft) in my notes app over this…and i just keep adding to it. phew 😭

Pisces Queen

Hey everyone🤗🥰! Loving the comments on the "Feels" to the audio but I'll send my 2nd thoughts too after listening to this gem again this morning later after work. Matthew🧔🏻- Hopefully I won't be out of line to ask this🥺 but I created another Road Trip playlist in my Spotify account that hopefully our MOCs can collaborate on! Feel free to add your Road Trip "feels" music. Here's the link to anyone wanting to help share their fav tunes: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5efaQP1zLz8MwrfVIWD8Zm?si=JCJcNMD0Ryqc2wX3r6FUPA&pt=0d67d95bdf498b682652e94ab6cbe035 I hope everyone is having a productive Wednesday/Thursday wherever you are in the 🌎😁!

aleigh -`♡´-

me just now realizing that my thesis-esque notes app commentary is, in actuality, just an amalgamation of extensive thoughts that goes on for FIVE PAGES. editing this is hell but imma make this a flawless essay just for you, professor lmao 🫡🫡🫡

Ariel

This one just feels like a completely unexpected gift 💝 Last night it took me a really long time tossing and turning to fall asleep as a slew of emotions and memories surfaced/resurfaced after listening. I used to hate when that happened, but I can appreciate feeling my feelings now after tactfully avoiding and burying them for far too long. It’s sort of this spider web of feelings for me because it rehashed the feelings related to some past behaviors with myself and people I dated, which also relates back to my childhood as a more recent revelation to the puzzle of me (I read “how to do the work” by Nicole LePera and… it was difficult to read but I understand myself in a way I never did before). I’ve spent a lot of time the last few years trying to break my negative patterns and thinking and responding instead of just reacting to everything that happens in life as a whole. Reflecting back on my history, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an actual apology from a man, no matter how they treated me, or what went down. It was almost always on me to fix it or fight for it or do anything at all. Or the issues were all in my head when they weren’t (that’s a whoooooole other conversation). To be fair, a lot of it did come down to the people I was choosing and chasing after. And deep seeded self limiting beliefs. And that I still, even now, need to work through my fear of love/letting someone in romantically. I am very lucky to have some truly amazing friendships that are beyond open with some genuinely insightful conversations. I stumbled across this quote and it resonated and gives me more to think and journal on. There’s a long writing and meditation session in my near future. https://ibb.co/FBRtzv3 Other quotes/links that got me thinking & feeling: https://ibb.co/L0fnMRJ https://www.instagram.com/p/CsYvuX1IEkp/ https://www.instagram.com/p/CryU5GLLS31/ 💖In Your Feelings Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-your-feelings/id1495592153?i=1000512886644 For me it’s interesting how the journey has shifted from trying to find something in someone else to the story being about me. Learning what makes me happy. Learning to spend time just being myself and tapping into my creativity. Feeling absolutely exhausted and terrified as I reroute my entire life to follow my dreams and not being afraid to do the work to get there. Living in the in between of things, even though it’s excruciating. I’m working on finding my people, the ones who understand me and don’t leave me feeling lost and misunderstood, on all the levels. I think the journey will eventually lead me to my person in love, but who knows. I’d rather be happy and alone than with the wrong person who drains me. It will be worth waiting for the person who really adds value to my life. That’s what’s right for me. This was a bit longer than intended 🤦‍♀️🫠

Eternidad

Hey Matt. Just wanted to say hello and hoped you had a pleasant day ❤️

IndyJane

This is the first audio in a while I’ve felt compelled to take notes during. Like a lot of Belles, this one resonated with me. The timing of this is crazy. My partner and I had a very similar conversation last week. It actually went extremely well and I am definitely experiencing this audio through the filter of that recent experience. It’s a great audio and models a constructive conversation within a healthy relationship, but there were some things I just reacted strongly to: Matt’s character saying “You can’t react like that.” - Telling me I can’t feel a certain way is a great way to convert that feeling into rage. Not off to a great start. Towards the end of the audio that line “We knew this would be a problem.” - Oomph. So I have always been a Fangirl. I was following around a musician (who I still follow now, 20 years later) when my husband and I met. He and that musician are totally cool and there are no problems. As new fandoms have entered my life, he says “I know this is just how you fan.” I think we are both now realizing this is something he has been telling himself as much as he has been telling me. The storm analogy. - Sorry, I do not like this. A storm is natural event completely out of our control. We have a lot more agency within our relationships. This jealousy thing didn’t come out of nowhere. I went back a re-listened to the start of “Punish Me”. I think that one presented the misunderstanding really well. The actual problem in that story wasn’t that the girl stayed over, it was that the listener and Matt’s character hadn’t communicated their feelings to each other yet and expressed their desire to be exclusive. In “Storms”, something else must have been happening within the relationship that the listener saw Matt’s character flirting with someone else as a threat. Something else must have been happening in the relationship that Matt’s character saw the listener feeling jealous as an accusation and an attack that required a defensive reaction. By using the storm analogy and saying it will pass suggests it will pass on its own without intervention. It will take communication and vulnerability to understand what else is happening in the relationship to cause both parties to feel fragile. The “You’re you and I’m me” part followed by “We learn to take care of each other more and more everyday” - I feel like this is so very very close to right. There are some dots I want connected. Our past experiences influence who we are now, right. The experiences we have together will influence the people we become. By being open, honest, and caring, we can have experiences that will influence us to become better people in general, but also better for each other.

Alaina

I know I’ve said it before but “get you a man who can do both” truly resonates esp with listening to the last two audios back to back! The range on you, Matt 🙌🏼🙌🏼 You really went there with this one and showed a super emotional side and it was so sweet! After listening and then reading all the comments I want to give hugs all around ❤️ ❤️

aleigh -`♡´-

upon the first few seconds, i had a premonition i’d be confronting some sensitive parts of my history. you gave warning and i prepared as i saw fit, so nothing compelled me to take pause. i can’t recollect at what point i went from a quiet, resting heartbeat to a muffled cry, but i know it happened within the first minute. it was a pretty seamless transition, really. i was too focused on all the memories flooding my head that i didn’t catch my emotions creeping up on me. unlike other audios where immersing myself is a conscious act, nothing about my participation felt optional. all the sudden you weren't speaking to me, but about me. it was surreal. i’m able to jump pretty easily between fantasyland and reality, but this one’s stopped me in my tracks. all week, it’s shamelessly consumed my thoughts and demanded my full attention. even when i’ve needed to apply my focus elsewhere, i’ve almost immediately returned to reflecting on my initial reactions and recording new revelations. in the most loving way, this has been the most mentally-disruptive audio to date lmao. though i’ve somewhat-compulsively dedicated my mental capacity to this for 48 hours, i’ve yet to land on a word that summarizes my experience as a whole. every one i’ve conjured up has a slightly off connotation than i’d prefer. as i plot out how i feel, it’s becoming apparent that my reaction is a lot more localized to my personal experiences than i anticipated, so please bare with. anyways, i’ll let this frenzied, amalgamation of thoughts speak for itself: i found the storm comparison interesting in this context. they really are beautiful — they’re a force to be reckoned with and answer to no one. as an individual, i sometimes relate more to a storm’s unsteadiness than i do it’s vitality. i’m someone that simultaneously requires extended time to label my emotions, experiences delays in processing them, and also feels them in intense waves — reasons why a portion of my life was spent avoiding them entirely. now, i find myself yearning so desperately to feel that my mind shuts down. it’s frustrating to self-regulate cause, like the turbulence of a storm, my reaction is hard to account for. be that as it may, the storm’s role confronted some old wounds so head-on that my mind wasn’t able to skirt around it. i released long overdue cries without having to beg my body to catch up to my mind. i’m so thankful that was the case. ⛈️ the storyline’s development was gratifying as well. i’ve always loved push-and-pull, angsty arcs in media i consume — partly, cause i’m well acquainted with turmoil and partly cause i long for the reassurance and validation that the resolution brings. though i wish there was a bit more context to the misunderstanding, i enjoyed its abstract nature cause it allowed me to come to my own conclusions. on the other hand, a part of me feels like i crossed a line by doing so. the inclination to inject personal sentiments felt wrong here for reasons i’m not exactly sure of. maybe my own experience with miscommunications/heartache to a similar degree impacted how i navigated the plot progression and the character’s emotions. (in all honesty, i was reminded of a lot upon the bag-packing alone, so that wouldn’t be a stretch). regardless, i felt and i’m still feeling so much. it was unnerving and affirming. it was triggering and comforting. it was atmospheric and grounded. it was a lot, and all so palpable. ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: initially, i was scared to approach the jealousy portion and the build-up to sex. i couldn’t help but think about how easily it would’ve been to flip the script on the listener, cause there’s a fine line between envy serving a purpose and becoming a form of abuse/manipulation. in viewing both candidly, nothing in the SFX or dialogue itself hints at a negative outcome, yet i was still prepared to see the worst — specifically, sex used as a silencing tactic and jealousy used as a bargaining chip/leverage. of course, my assumptions stem from my own experiences but they’re also reflective of how society portrays jealousy. i suppose i’m used to media and culture presenting jealousy once it’s breached boundaries and manifested as possession, or once it's shape-shifted from innocent to malicious intent. your take on how it can be a positive emotion was fascinating to me for that reason. it was interesting to see jealousy humanized, for lack of a better word: to portray it as something to acknowledge and work through as opposed to a sensation to avoid at all costs. anyways, whenever you explore uncomfortable plights, i’m always grateful that you handle them so delicately. i may find myself hesitant once i sense difficulty is coming, but you always reel me back in and prove my worst assumptions to be just fears. 🌟 [forewarning: matt, this upcoming paragraph references your behaviors/thought-processes quite a bit. although this audio feels personal, i don’t want to assume your actualized emotions or compare them to a fictional version of you. with that being said, any mention of you is not referencing the material ‘you’, but the ‘you’ based in this performance. just wanted to clarify! 🖤] while listening, i also determined that i relate to this so viscerally cause i experience relationships both as the listener and matt. in relation to the listener, i’m used to my feelings being disregarded and insignificant. i turn inwards when i’m hurting cause i’ve been made to believe that i’m simultaneously too much and never enough. i run when things get hard. i isolate as a form of self-preservation, despite being well aware that i never end up any better. i open up, receive an indifferent or cruel reaction from the other party, and in turn minimize myself to appease/placate others. i make myself more palatable. in relation to matt, i process my feelings veryyy slowly. i’m all sensory-based, so it’s easier for me to recognize the sensation of hurt than construct a verbal/sensical expression of it. i’ve made strides in how to label what i’m feeling, but communicating them is the mentally taxing part. in addition, my feelings have often been used against me, which reinforces the listener’s reactions that i resonate with. then again, i’ve always found it easy to understand multiple viewpoints…so i can also see myself as a marriage of them both. i run, but i always come back. i turn inwards for safety, but i eventually climb out of my shell. i fear being wrong or my words being used against me, but i still make it a conscious effort to speak my mind with pure intention. i’ve been hurt, but my heart remains soft. lastly, i have such a love for the dialogue in this. you always include great one-liners, but a little part of me broke into pieces after hearing some of my favorites lmao. “i’ll do anything to protect you and our love” particularly stings. there’s a laundry list of people i expect(ed) and need(ed) to say this… and i never hear(d) it from them. that’s probably the aspect that makes this hurt the most. other lines that stuck with me: “we’ll be calm again once the storm passes and it won’t be like this very often” and “open yourself to me”. hearing these was a bit tender for me, but they solidified that these situations don’t always end poorly. one person doesn’t have to sacrifice their peace of mind for the other. two people can put their pride (and fears) aside and reach an understanding peacefully. they stood as a reminder that as burdensome as my feelings might be for me (sometimes), they’re never too much for the people that *actually* care. there are people that will put in the work, even if i can’t always believe that. 💌 oh, fuck. it sucks when the tower reminds me that my scorned, sometimes-cynical self is a romantic at heart lmao. i hate to admit that, cause it scares the fuck out of me in actuality. i wish i could say i’ve encountered this type of love. i also wish i could say that i believe i will. i’ve never seen it modeled in anything besides film, so it’s kind of hard to conceptualize something that’s merely a writer’s creation to me. after all that, i guess what i’m saying is that i’m sitting with a lot. you gave fair warning that this might be difficult and, even though it was at points, no part of it was unpleasant nor a source of anguish. it was emotionally heavy, but at no point did i totalize it as negative just cause i revisited some deep-seated pain. i saw this more as a form of exposure therapy — i faced wounds that i don’t frequently pay mind to, but notably play a role in who i’ve turned out to be and how i experience the world. it was cathartic in a way. for me, this audio intends to linger. though i once might’ve taken issue with that, i don’t think that’s a bad thing now. i think it’s meant to remain fairly unresolved in my head and heart, so i’m gonna let it. 🖤🖤🖤 pee ess: mattttt, i need to point out how much you’ve grown. you know i wasn’t around when the page first started, but i see a stark difference in how you express yourself through your storytelling today versus even a year ago. you’ve opened yourself and successfully stretched your emotional depth. it’s beautiful — you should be proud. thanks again for this one. sending extra smooches to soothe the aches 🩷

Kateastrophy

I overdid it this week and have been in a CFS crash since Tuesday 😫 I really want to write up a proper thing about this audio but I just don't have the capacity right now. I'll be back when I can!!! There's some really lovely comments and thoughts above that I haven't been able to respond to but I've read them all and am sending love to everyone 💜 I did some fake flower arrangements for my room today (because I don't have a green thumb, I have a black one). They're on my insta story for anyone interested. I'm a little too proud of them 😅 Hopefully I can drop in quickly to say hi before work tomorrow 😮‍💨

aleigh -`♡´-

me, ending my comment: i think i’m okay leaving this unresolved in my head and heart 🩷 me, with 5 new thoughts in my head after pressing 'post': AND ANOTHER THING-

aleigh -`♡´-

i'm back to the notes app. my god, i'm not sure i'll be able to leave this one. it has all of me 😭

Kateastrophy

Ok I'm still very much in 'cognitively-impaired recovery' mode so if this doesn't make sense and has typos... well then that sucks 😂 I don't really want to take a psych perspective towards this audio because I feel that kind of defeats the point of having these very real, constructive conversations in real life. Yes I know this is scripted by an emotionally-intelligent sexy genius, but analysing it would be saying more about the script, not the individual or the words. So... I hope that makes some kind of logical sense 🤷🏻‍♀️ (omg I can make her look like me now! #brunettesuperiority) So anyway what I'm trying to say is, I'm going to write this from a personal perspective. And awayyyy we go! • "*packing*" Yes this would be me. I mentioned above so I won't go into it again, but from my past experiences of people who are "supposed" to care for me, yeah nobody has ever put in any effort so I'd rather make an exit before I'm kicked out and save myself the hurt. Regardless of how much I personally care, if I suspect you're going to hurt me, let me be the first to burn the bridge. (Side note to the universe: yes I am waiting to be proven wrong here! Take your goddamn time!) • "Babe. Babe. What are you doing?!" Ok nobody else talked about the tone here. Babe: questioning. Babe: "don't be ridiculous" vibes. What are you doing: alarmed. Very very realistic there. Almost like you thought I was just being dramatic or something and then had the "oh shit" moment. Nailed it (and soon, me! 😁) • "Don't be like that" ahaha that's almost an unconscious trigger for me to turn around and say "make me! Show me otherwise!" • "Come here" 😑 why should I? You obviously hurt me if I'm leaving. • "You can't react like that. Please" ok until you said the "Please", I was ready to immediately leave. YOU Can't tell me how to react. But the "please" showed it's more begging than controlling. Don't EVER tell ME how to react to things, considering my default is to hide my feelings and not outwardly react at all! If I'm reacting, it means I'm dead serious. • "Do you really think I want you to leave" Yep. • "That's not what I said" You don't NEED to say it. The intuition of incoming neglect is strong • "I just said I needed some time alone to think" so where do you want me to go? Lock myself in the shower so you can think?? • "I'm not great at talking about my emotions yet" aaaaaaaand hook line and sinker I'm dead. Just that sentence alone shows more emotional maturity than most adults I've ever met (it's... ahh... A VERY low bar 😅) And honestly I'm very shit at verbalising my emotions (9 times out of 10, a Kate will just cry instead of using her words) (ok that and I am not good at the English language finding of words thing. You know when English teachers say you can't use the words 'happy', 'sad', 'good' or 'bad' in writing? I'm the kid that fucked that up). Honestly, (in most cultures) we're never taught how to deal with or communicate our emotions. So it's either a skill you have or you have to learn. And most adults (in my experience) refrain from showing that emotions exist! So this sentence was the one that turned me into a puddle because just hearing it restored my faith in humanity. • "I've been so used to blocking them out and worrying about everyone else" well that was quick because now I'm trying to find the word for the emotion I felt here but can't think of it so kinda like 🥹🥺😞 combined. I used to be the same (and now it's my job lol) but anyone who read my story probably worked out that I put literally everyone before myself until I imploded like a homemade submarine (too soon?). I put so much energy into making everyone else happy that they got away with doing horrendous things to me. I flicked The Bitch Switch™ and just turned into a cynical pessimistic selfish asshole. Bottling up emotions can be so so dangerous and it's a fundamental human need to express them. • "I just need a tiny little bit of space" Me leaving only an inch between us because I want to hug you because obviously I hurt you by packing and now realise you've very much turned the tables here. • "so let me?" The fact that you asked my permission to hear your side of things is both endearing and heartbreaking. • "we couldn't have the greatest love in the world without some pain" so this is where I think I'm misunderstood a lot. I often say I just want something stable for once and without stupid complications from people or life. That doesn't mean I don't expect arguments, disagreements and low points. What I mean is I want someone who will ride out that storm because I'm worth it. • The concept of storms kind of works for me for a completely different reason. I'm 1000% weirdo who LOVES a good storm. I could sit and watch lightning for HOURS. Storms are just the pure rage of nature and I love it. However storms are environmental. These metaphorical storms could be turbulent life events or relationship issues or anything else that stops us from achieving that 100% happy life that is unrealistic and unattainable. To me, I interpreted this metaphor as the impact that led to this disagreement we're having. The cause, not the effect (I hope that makes sense 😅) • "because you're afraid of getting hurt" haHAA I can't get hurt if I run away hahahaha bad coping mechanisms for the win! • "but I know that's beside the point because you felt jealous" ok upon first listen to this audio my jaw dropped at this line. I'll try to keep this short (she said after writing an essay), but basically my family is emotionally void and incapable of sympathy (and empathy). For years as a kid, I would try to explain to (for example) my mum that something she did hurt me. She would say something to the effect of "no I didn't because I didn't intend for it to be hurtful". There was, and never has been, any acknowledgement that my feelings bear any weight. So to hear someone say this left me gobsmacked. Bamboozled. I was lying here thinking "omfg someone actually GETS IT!!" Thank you for proving me wrong! • "You were right to tell me about them" me? Talking about my feelings? Wow this IS fantasy land! • "we carry stuff from what we're already experienced in the past" Me, a cynical pessimistic selfish asshole: 👀. We are a product of our experiences. And the worse those past experiences, the more absolutely chaotic it can get. • "they sometimes collide because we're not always aware of the things we might do that bring bad memories back for each other". I have something to add. When the bad memories are traumatic, and the memories are repressed, not even I know what's going to trigger them. We could be having a normal conversation and suddenly one word or action or image is all that's needed for my body to go into fight/flight mode and at that point I can't tell you how I'll react. (The most recent mental shutdown was because someone mentioned playing cards. And my brain just stopped, I threw up in my mouth and my hands locked into fists. All within 3 seconds and I had no control over it). Unless I have explicitly told you what triggers me, even *I* have no idea. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is fucking terrifying! • "we learn to take care of each other more and more everyday" I'm visualising that meme of the guy pointing at himself in the mirror 😂 like damn gurl you got nobody else to do that but yourself! • "I'm not the guys who hurt you" that sentence should not have affected me as much as it did 🥹 you're not, but that's a part of me that's forever. • "it's not that you're trying to manipulate me with your feelings" *glares at every ex ever* • ok on jealousy being a good thing. Yes but also no (and I promised no psych evaluation so I won't). But I definitely agree with the sentiment. If I perceive you as flirting with another bitch, hell yeah I'll be jealous. But if you're purposely flirting to make me jealous, then that's a dick move. A manipulative and piece of shit thing to do. Jealousy means it's real. But weaponising jealousy, ooft you're car is gonna get keyed mate • "I'll do anything to protect you" (also me to me in the mirror) (jks I am the most likely person to sabotage myself) but also, goals 🥰🥹 • "let me kiss you" the words: demand. The tone: pretty please say yes! But also, KISSES!!! • ok I cringe at the L-word because that is not regular vocabulary in my life at all. It's like the whole "hate is a strong word so don't overuse it" argument. Well it's the opposite for me. I don't use that word because when you've rarely had it directed at you, it gains more and more meaning. Don't get me wrong, hearing it in audios is a serotonin overdose for me, but I still kind of flinch because it's just so odd for me to hear (and believe) • "I want to give you everything" so while everyone else was having breakdowns at the argument portion of this audio, this is the line that truly broke me. Talk about unrealistic! How dare you make me wish for things! I don't really have words for the internal anguish that this line caused me (actually, internal anguish is probably the word). Just this deep sense of depressive longing. • AH HE SAID IT AGAIN! *runs because I don't know how to cope with expressions of L-word* • "we wanted to meet each other but we were afraid to fall in love" ok I don't really get this line. I think it's because I'm more of a "can we skip past the awkward dating part to the stability part?" kind of person. • "Never cared enough about anyone to open up about all of these things" get out of my head! This was too real • "Look at your naked man. You have all of me" ok at this point I'm just weirdly sobbing because I don't have words for emotions which is weirdly the theme of the audio and yet here I am. Like, I just want a hug at this point and be close and just BE • "I need your skin against me" yep that's the vibe • "Come sit on my lap. And wrap around me. Hold me tight" and thats ALL I want to do 🥹🥰 this one was taken straight out of my brain. Skin to skin, hugs, just holding each other and letting feelings be feelings • "please don't shut me out" are you trying to make me cry or make this sexy? Because right now we're going for ugly crying 🥲 • ok the heavy breathing is actually getting to me 🥵🥰 • Sir if you want me to ride you, imma need a bra on otherwise I'm going to knock myself out 😂 • "sit on me" with pleasure! • "they know how to touch it" well someone has to! 😂 • "I want to hear you moaning in my ear" well you're in luck 🥵🥵 • I have no issues with calling this love-making and screw every single stereotype of that term. • "lie on me. Keep me inside you" ugh yes can do omg best snuggles ever 🥰🥰🥰 • "got a tear on my cheek" is it yours or mine 🥹 don't cry. You're too beautiful to cry 🥺 • "feel like I missed out on so much time with you" mood. Also feel like I spent too much time on useless bullshit instead • "I never really knew what I wanted in my life" ok that is something I can't relate to. I think I've always known. I've done the angsty bullshit, I'm ready for happy now (oi universe I'm talking to you again!) • the extended sfx is to die for. Can I request an hour loop of this? It's like 'Snuggle Me' meets 'Daddy comforts you during a thunderstorm'. If you made it this far, uhhh, thanks for coming to my unhinged TedTalk I guess?

Rhi

You deserve the EGOT for this one. As soon as I remember my name, I'm calling the Academy. 💜💜💜

aleigh -`♡´-

i've returned [maniacal laughter][thunder booms][lightning strikes]

Anonymous

Also it’s a little late but I was just thinking about this! If you need some extended aftercare and you enjoy listening to music during that time, try this-especially if you’re going to sleep. Not sure if there are any choral music connoisseurs here but this song usually calms me down and helps me sleep. ✨ https://youtu.be/y4ej8sOShJg

Titania
>>113167524

Love choral music, and that is lovely. Thanks for sharing. ❤️