THE WEREWOLF OF THE USO - episode 8 (Patreon)

THE WEREWOLF OF THE USO - episode 8

EPISODE 8

STEAM WHISTLE OF A BOAT

SOUND OF WAVES AND SEAGULLS

ANNOUNCER Set sail for Excitement
Set sail for intrigue
Adventure is on the Horizon!

ANNOUNCER The Werewolf of the USO, episode 8

SHIP’S BELL RINGS - 4 BELLS - 2PM

ANNOUNCER Early afternoon and it’s business as usual at the Rampart Pictures movie set, while Mac, Duke, Bertie and Rose – with the addition of Sherman Polk, the pesky writer – get ready to wrap up their lunchtime conference and go their separate ways.

MUSIC SWELLS

SCENE 1. OUTSIDE, DINING ON THE PATIO OF THE HOTEL

SOUND MILD CROWD NOISE

MAC Clothes? Doused in seawater, if I don’t miss my guess.

DUKE I can smell it from here, Mac. Why you bringing us your laundry, Sherman?

BERTIE Perhaps if you allowed him a moment to explain, we could all find out, Duke.

SHERMAN Last night, I was in the hotel lobby, um… [lying badly] looking for some ice… and this guy came in. [spooky] He must have walked right out of the ocean, in the pitch black dark—

ROSE And the bright full moon.

SHERMAN OK, that’s the writer in me, Rose. Whatever it was like outside, though, he still strode right in, dripping wet—

MAC So, these are his clothes?

SHERMAN [yes] Mm-hmm. He slopped right across the floor and demanded a room in this strange accent.

BERTIE Ah. What sort of accent?

SHERMAN I couldn’t place it, Mr. Cosgrove.

ROSE Just call him Bertie. [thinking] Hey! Was this accent something like [thinks, then mimics Amaya fairly well] um, “I, too have bad romance…”

SHERMAN [stunned] How did you know?

ROSE I’m a good guesser.

SHERMAN But—

MAC Finish your story.

SHERMAN Well, the desk clerk tried to send him away, since he seemed to have no money—

DUKE [chuckling] No dry money, anyway.

SHERMAN And I – well, I decided to do a good deed and offered to put him up in my room. [defensive] I figured he might have a good story to tell, and I’m always looking for stories.

BERTIE Did he take you up on it?

SHERMAN He followed me in, but right away he locked himself in the washroom. At first, I figured he wanted to clean off the salt water, but when he didn’t come out, I decided to... [sighs and breaks off]

MAC Yes?

SHERMAN I decided to follow his dripping trail back to the water – to see maybe what boat he might have come from. And then I found myself all alone on the beach and [getting agitated] that thing… the growling… I just ran…

MAC [gently, but grim] And, ultimately, you ran right into Duke.

MUSIC

SCENE 2. RAMPART PICTURES, COSTUME TENT

SOUND RUSTLE OF FABRIC

MAISIE Here’s the new pages, Miss Olivia. On set in 20.

SOUND PAPER RUSTLES, MAISIE BUSTLES OFF

OLIVIA Ow!

ANCY I shouldn’t have to adjust this, Miss Rook. How much have you been eating?

OLIVIA [defensive] This scene was supposed to be in the can!

SOUND TENT FLAP, DARLENE ENTERS, STOPS SUDDENLY

DARLENE Sorry, thought it was my turn, Ancy—? [hinting at something]

OLIVIA You’ll never believe this, Darlene. Oscar needs to retake the whole pier sequence. [notices] What’s that you’ve got?

DARLENE What?

SOUND CRINKLE OF PAPER PACKAGE IN HER HANDS

DARLENE [lying badly] Just something for – I mean, that I wanted to, uh ask-- [trails off, changes the subject] Why is Oscar re-shooting?

ANCY Stand still.

OLIVIA He said the reels were damaged.

DARLENE [worried] Do you think he’ll need anything else redone?

OLIVIA No, I’m the lucky one. [feeling a pinch] Hey. I can do without breathing, but I still have to run off a pier.

ANCY Did you need me, Miss Talbot? I’ll be running out to the shops during lunch and I won’t be back until late.

DARLENE No, [pause, then calculating] ...unless you might have seen my script? The original one. I wanted to... to count my lines. I feel like my part's been getting smaller.

ANCY Hah. Unlike Miss Olivia here.

SOUND CREAK OF FABRIC

OLIVIA Why, I oughtta-- [dress tightens] Oof!

MUSIC

SCENE 3. OUTSIDE, DINING ON THE PATIO OF THE HOTEL

SOUND MILD CROWD NOISE

MAC Where did this mystery man's footprints lead?

SHERMAN Straight down the beach and into the water. No sign of a boat anywhere, either, [snarky] considering how bright the moon was.

SOUND SQUISHY NOISE OF MOVING WET CLOTHES

ROSE These must have been really sopping, to not be dry yet.

SHERMAN He left them all wadded up on the tile floor.

ROSE [interested] Hmm.

MAC Are you seeing something in there that we’re not, Rose?

ROSE Well…

DUKE Spit it out, sister.

ROSE No store tags. It’s the first thing I noticed. Then I see that these are all handmade – not stitched on a machine, I mean. There’s still folks who make their own clothes, of course, but this shirt is a heavy velvet. Expensive.

BERTIE Not precisely tropical wear.

ROSE [teasing] This from the gent who wanted his Bermuda shorts in tweed.

DUKE So he left his clothes behind and run off--?

SHERMAN No, he’s not thateasy to find. He stole some of mine.

BERTIE Pity. We could leave him to the local constabulary if he was larking about like a jaybird.

ROSE Did he keep his own wet shoes? That can’t be comfortable.

SHERMAN Darn, I forgot to mention that, too!  He was barefoot from the time he arrived.

MUSIC

SCENE 4. MOVIE SET

SOUND VARIOUS ACTIVITY

OSCAR [on a megaphone] Set up for scene 53. Where’s Joanette? Wells?

BUSTER [walking away, yelling to pass the message along] Set up for scene 53!

DARLENE Wells went to get Joanie a while ago, Oscar. Maybe she wasn’t ready – want me to go check in Makeup?

OSCAR [normal] It'll take a few minutes to get the set sorted. If she’s not here by then, I’ll send someone. She better be ready, though. I love her, but no one gets any slack. Not her, and not you, Darlene.

DARLENE [airily] I ran into her before she was on set this morning. [slyly hinting, expecting a response] She was -uh- looking for her script.

OSCAR [blankly uninterested] Her script? Why?

DARLENE [annoyed] I have no idea. [sigh] I’ll go check in Makeup.

MUSIC

SCENE 5. OUTSIDE, DINING ON THE PATIO OF THE HOTEL

SOUND MILD CROWD NOISE

MAC This mystery man spent the whole night locked in the bathroom of your hotel room?

SHERMAN Well, I wasn’t there to check in on him, but neither bed was slept in, so I guess he must have.

DUKE Was anything chewed on?

SHERMAN What?

MAC [sigh] Was anything damaged in the bathroom?

SHERMAN It was all kind of knocked around, if that's what you mean.

BERTIE [yawns widely] See here, Mac - Duke and I should probably retire and try to get some sleep.

DUKE Much as I hate to leave, shuteye does sound good.

SOUND CHAIRS MOVE AS THEY GET UP

SOUND DUKE and BERTIE’S STEPS RETREAT

MAC I need to get back to Rampart before dinnertime. Since it’s clear I can’t trust you on your own, Rose—

SHERMAN [brightly] I can look after her.

ROSE Uh, No! I am not a bicycle that needs to be locked up.

SOUND FOOTSTEPS APPROACH RAPIDLY

ROSE Kal! What's wrong

KAL [slightly out of breath, hushed but urgent] You shouldn’t be out here in the open, Rose! Some guy is after you!

ROSE & MAC What?

SHERMAN The heck you say!

MUSIC

FAKE COMMERCIAL

ANNOUNCER Americans are no-nonsense purchasers. We like to know costs up front. That's why stores put price tags on their goods. We go shopping, do some basic addition, and voila! We have a budget.

SOUND MUSIC TURNS DARK

ANNOUNCER But what's the cost of negligence? The cost of not looking ahead to the future? A millimeter of prevention can save you an entire metric conversion of cure. The cost of travel without insurance can be significant.

SOUND MUSIC BRIGHTENS

ANNOUNCER That's why the Farwest Aid Society for Travelers F-A-S-T FAST! [fast effect] Is the best friend a traveler in the Pacific has. FAST [fast effect] offers the most reasonable travel insurance rates and is opening more offices every day to make sure you get where you're heading. Put your money where your life is, with FAST.

SCENE 6. OUTSIDE, DINING ON THE PATIO OF THE HOTEL

SOUND MILD CROWD NOISE

MAC Calm down, Kal. First things first. Thanks for your help, Sherman, but we'll take it from here. You probably need to catch up on some sleep as well, after your ordeal last night.

SHERMAN But--!

ROSE [a little snarky] Sweet dreams!

SOUND CHAIR MOVES AS SHERMAN GETS UP

SHERMAN I insist on hearing how all this comes out - you owe me!

SOUND SHERMAN WALKS AWAY

MAC Tell us about yourmystery man, Kal.

KAL He wants the girl who was fighting.

ROSE Does he have a weird accent?

KAL All haole [howly]got weird kine accent.

MAC Why do I suspect he was barefoot, too?

KAL [gasp of surprise] How’d you--?

ROSE The other girl from jail – where’d she go this morning, did you happen to notice?

KAL Yeah, why?

MAC How?

KAL I went took her home. [shrug] I drive a cab between tours.

MUSIC

SCENE 7. MOVIE SET

SOUND LOTS OF MOVEMENT OF LARGE OBJECTS

BUSTER [behind, and under] A little closer, closer…. There’s the mark.

OSCAR [on megaphone] Where’s Joanette? Is she ready? Wells? Dammit, where’s Wells?

ANTOINE [approaching] I spotted Wells une catruh heur ago - whoah! [sound as he trips]

SOUND ANTOINE TRIPS AND FALLS AGAINST OSCAR, BOTH REACT

ANTOINE Mille Pardons! C’est ma feu! [he’s not saying the right things in French]

MAISIE [rushing up] Do you need a hand?

OSCAR [ignoring her] Get off me, you idiot! Let go of me! What did you trip on, your blasted ego?

ANTOINE Somezing, she caught my foot, and my leg now he hurts!

OSCAR Spare me. You better haul your “derriere” out of my way! [on megaphone again] Wells!!

MUSIC

SCENE 8. HOTEL ROOM

SOUND DIALING PHONE

DUKE Say, feller, we’re s’posed to be catching forty winks, not ordering room service.

BERTIE I just need to set some wheels turning, Duke, and I’ll be joining you in dreamland, shortly. I promise to talk quietly.

SOUND ON PHONE, RINGING ON THE OTHER END

DUKE Suit yerself. [yawns]

BERTIE And stop scratching at that bandage.

DUKE [dismissive] Ehh.

SOUND ON PHONE, PICKED UP

BERTIE Hello, Mr. Rasmussen? This is Bertram Cosgrove, yes, from the cruise ship Lorelei. Are you perchance available to make a few inquiries for me?

MUSIC

SCENE 9. TRAVELLING TO SILHOUETTE

SOUND CAB DRIVING, OUTSIDE OF CITY

ROSE I know you don’t want to leave me on my own, Mac, but I could have made this little trip by myself. Kal would be with me.

KAL I’m just the driver.

MAC It’s not that, Rose. Well, not just that. I have a few questions of my own for the people at Silhouette Pictures.

ROSE And I bet you’re at least a little intrigued to see my cellmate for yourself. She’s not all furry or anything. At least... not by day.

MAC All right, so I have a few questions for her as well. Where are we heading, Kal?

KAL The old Schumacher Plantation, mauka -uh- [explaining] toward the mountain. Much run down these days. That’s where I took the lady this morning.

MAC We can see if Silhouette is also missing raw film stock, while we check on your friend, Amaya.

ROSE I thought you suspected they were the ones stealing film?

MAC Bertie's got something else in mind. But it never hurts to know the terrain.

MUSIC

SCENE 10. MOVIE SET, COOK TENT

SOUND EATING, COFFEE PERKING

SOUND SEVERAL PEOPLE CHATTING AND EATING

BUSTER [this conversation continues under Darlene’s entrance] So how’s about you and me, babe?

MAISIE Any dates have to wait til after the shoot closes.

BUSTER But then we’ll just be shipped home.

MAISIE For six days, and ships are romantic.

SOUND FLAP MOVES, DARLENE ENTERS

DARLENE [fangirling] Oh, Mister Monteith!

MONTEITH [annoyed sigh, then fake friendly] My dear. I would ask you to join me, but I was just about to leave. No rest for the wicked.

DARLENE I promise not to bother you.

MONTEITH Of course you do.

DARLENE Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't have a moment to help me with an odd matter...

MONTEITH No. [trying to get someone's attention] Antoine? Antoine! [muttered] Where is that Titian tressed tyrant? [a hint at Antoine’s hair color – Titian is often credited with using a particular shade of red-gold]

DARLENE [after a short pause] I just was hoping--

SOUND ANTOINE COMES OVER

ANTOINE Yes, Mon-shur?

MONTEITH [hinting] You needed me for some rehearsal?

ANTOINE Oh. Oui, but of course. Is this time bonne for you?

DARLENE [disappointed] Have fun.

[NOTE: She did not get a chance to ask about the original script in front of either man. Close call, really…]

MUSIC

SCENE 11. A PHONE CALL

SOUND HOTEL LOBBY, THEN PHONE BOOTH DOOR SHUTS AND CUTS MOST NOISE

SOUND DIALING, PHONE PICKED UP AT OTHER END

ANCY You’re not supposed to contact me at work.

PERRIN No one knows who sends you chocolates.

ANCY Or believes anyonedoes. Now I’m a joke.

PERRIN Non, you are a failure.

ANCY What?

PERRIN Ze film you brought me is already used. 'ow stupid are you?

ANCY I took it from the unused stock – I’m sure I did. It was marked as leftovers.

PERRIN Zen it was mismarked.

ANCY What is it, then?

PERRIN Ruined. Nozzing else. We need more. We must finish zis order!

ANCY [to herself] Oh, no. They’re reshooting the pier.

PERRIN What?

ANCY There’s nothing more I can do for you. We’re crawling with extra security.

PERRIN [ominous threat] You know what will 'appen.

ANCY [toughing up] You can’t threaten me! I know enough to sink your whole organization—

SOUND PHONE HUNG UP ON OTHER END, CUTTING HER OFF

ANCY [annoyed noise]

MUSIC

SCENE 12. ON THE WAY

SOUND DRIVING IN A CAR

ROSE Funny, I don’t think of Hawaii as being covered in big paved highways like California is.

KAL We’ll be leaving civilization shortly. Then you see the real island.

SOUND SEVERAL CARS RAPIDLY APPROACHING

MAC What’s all that?

KAL [dismissively] Racers. The use an old lava field as a track. They like to think they’re dangerous, but not one of them would risk hurting their car doing something stupid out here.

SOUND CARS WHIP PAST ON BOTH SIDES

ROSE Ooh! Maybe when this is finished, we can go and see some racing?

MAC [warning] Rose.

KAL  [shrugs] It’s not really a tourist thing. Or a legal one.

[NOTE: this is foreshadowing of a possible future story]

MUSIC

SCENE 13. RAMPART PICTURES

SOUND WALKING OUTSIDE

DARLENE [muttered] Stupid Joanette wasn’t in makeup and Oscar is about to have kittens if she doesn’t turn up soon. She better not do anything – [sudden change of tone] Oh, there’s Wells! [loud] Wells!

WELLS [trying to recover from a shock, and be normal sounding] Um, yes, um, miss Talbot?

DARLENE Oscar’s been screaming for you for almost an hour. Have you found Joanette?

WELLS [almost a sob] oh! [unconvincing, due to emotion] No, I – I haven’t been able to [quick breaths] Locate… her…

DARLENE Wow. Sit down and get your breath back. I’ll go and let Oscar know you’re still looking.

WELLS [collapsing] Thank you, miss Talbot.

MUSIC

SCENE 14. HOTEL BAR

SOUND DRINK POURED

SHERMAN [already a bit drunk and slurry] Like sending me to bed without any supper. Without me they wouldn’t even have known where to find the werewolf.

PERRIN Oh? A werewolf?

SHERMAN It bit Duke, you know. Big nasty bite, he says. Grr. Like a wolf, but not like a wolf. And Mac just says [mocking] “you had a long night, you should get some rest.”

PERRIN Ah. How interesting. More whiskey, mon ami?

MUSIC

SCENE 15. TRAVELLING TO SILHOUETTE

SOUND CAB DRIVING, OUTSIDE OF CITY

ROSE I see what you meant. A one-car track gives the foliage the advantage. This feels like a lush tropical paradise.

MAC Does it all twist and turn like this?

KAL Until we get round the mountain.

[short pause]

MAC Rose, read one of the poems, see if it rings any bells for Kal.

KAL I’m not much on poetry.

MAC Neither are these. They keep turning up as sort of ominous notes, and no one seems to know what they’re supposed to be.

ROSE We’re hoping they might be something local, or a translation.

KAL Go on then.

SOUND SHUFFLING PAPERS

ROSE Okay. Here: A lovely jaundiced face
eyes obscured, do they hide fear or love,
mouth encrimsoned from a tender bite.

KAL Colorful.

ROSE Yeah, lots of crimsons and reds.

SOUND THUMP, CAR HITS SOMETHING

ALL THREE REACT AT THE SAME TIME AS THEY ARE THROWN ABOUT

MAC [reacting] ugh!

KAL [reacting] Ow!

ROSE [reacting] whoah!

MAC What was that?

KAL Something jumped out in front of the car!

ROSE It looked like - a guy!

MUSIC

MUSIC TO CLOSING

ANNOUNCER Who would be hiking alongside the road to the Schumacher plantation? How bad are they hurt? Will Rasmussen turn up some leads for Bertie and Duke to follow? What of Sherman's new drinking buddy? And what will Mac, Rose, and Kal find when they finally reach Silhouette Pictures?

END