THE WEREWOLF OF THE USO – episode 10 (Patreon)

THE WEREWOLF OF THE USO – episode 10

STEAM WHISTLE OF A BOAT

SOUND OF WAVES AND SEAGULLS

ANNOUNCER Set sail for Excitement
Set sail for intrigue
Adventure is on the Horizon!

ANNOUNCER The Werewolf of the USO, episode 10

SHIP’S BELL RINGS - _4 BELLS - 6PM

ANNOUNCER Mac and Rose, and the reluctant Zorion, are on the way back from a quick jaunt to the Silhouette set at the Schumacher Plantation, with time to spare before dusk falls. Meanwhile, at Rampart, Oscar made an unfortunate discovery, and Bertie and Duke have walked into the proverbial lion’s mouth…

MUSIC SWELLS, TURNS INTO PEONY LOUNGE MUSIC

SCENE 1. PEONY LOUNGE

SOUND ROOM ECHOES SLIGHTLY, MUSIC FADES OUT

BERTIE [Whispers to Duke] Bow respectfully to the nice lady, Duke.

DUKE Oh, Uh-huh. [louder] Ma’am.

SOUND RUSTLE, CREAK AS THEY BOW

BERTIE We are here in humble supplication for a piece of information it has been rumored you might have, Madame Ting. We understand that your time is more valuable than rubies and we offer this most paltry gift in return for your consideration.

SOUND HE PULLS PAPER PACKAGE FROM POCKET

MADAME [considering] Mmm. You may advance into the lamplight, and I will consider withholding my wrath.

MUSIC

SCENE 2. RAMPART PICTURES

SOUND CROWD

[NOTE: Buster and Maisie are representative of crowd and heard over the murmurs]

[NOTE: Oscar on megaphone until noted]

OSCAR [really upset, but hiding it and lying to the crowd] All right, is everyone here?

BUSTER Looks like everyone.

CROWD [murmur, agreement]

OSCAR It is with deep regret that I have to tell everyone that while Joanette has been located—

MAISIE What a relief!

CROWD [sounds of relief]

OSCAR Shh. Shh. She was hurt and has been taken to a private hospital outside of town, to get the best possible care.

MAISIE Oh no! What happened to her?

CROWD [consternation!]

OSCAR I know, I know. Now, what we have to do - to make sure that she has a show to come back to, when she’s [falters] better – is finish everything we can in the next two days, to stay on deadline.

BUSTER We’re gonna need some rewrites.

CROWD [annoyed]

MAISIE [over crowd] Can we go see her?

OSCAR [keeping a tight control, but almost breaking] For now, the doctor prefers to have her in complete rest, but any letters or flowers, etc., can be forwarded to her room. [barely grinding out the words] I- I will be handling that. [gasp, almost a sob, drops megaphone, to Antoine] You finish.

SOUND ANTOINE TAKES THE MEGAPHONE

SOUND OSCAR RUSHES OFF STAGE

ANTOINE [megaphone] Please go about ze business as usual. We shall be shooting de rigeur in la matin. Zhat will be all. Merci.

BUSTER [loud] Everyone get some sleep! We’ll have a new schedule ready in the A-M. Go on!

MUSIC

SCENE 3. PEONY LOUNGE

SOUND ECHOEY ROOM

MADAME As you say, my time is valuable. Quick, then! Tell me who I am dealing with and be certain you amuse me, so I needn’t have you [threat] removed.

BERTIE Most gracious lady, I am Bertram Cosgrove. I represent no one but myself and my friends. At this time. This is one of said friends, Ephraim Carlyle. He is not a diplomat, which is why he will not be speaking.

DUKE My lips are sealed.

MADAME [snort of amusement] Mph. And you, who stink of government unction, wish me to believe this tissss-ue of lies? Hmm?

BERTIE [calmly] I have worked for a government or two in the past, but that has no bearing on the present. I was directed to you - by some of those officials – as a lady who knows what goes on in Honolulu, or indeed all of Hawaii, and who, more than anyone, can answer a question for me.

MADAME What is this burning question that you risk your very life for the answer?

BERTIE Blue movies are being made locally. We seek those who make them. Can you tell us where we might find them?

MUSIC

SCENE 4. RAMPART PICTURE, GATE

SOUND CAB DRIVES OFF

ZORION What am I to do now?

MAC Until Amaya is ready to talk to you, Zorion, your job is stay with my sister and make sure no one hurts her.

ROSE Hey!

MAC He’s your shadow until we have this wrapped up, Rose. Or you could go back to the hotel.

ROSE All right.

SOUND OSCAR APPROACHES

OSCAR [excited, but still hiding upset] You’re back! Finally! Where are the other—

MAC Bertie and Duke will be here by dusk. What’s wrong?

OSCAR [half whisper] Is there anyone else around? No? It's Joanette. [breaks, and sound really upset, can barely get the words out] Joanette’s been murdered.

MUSIC

SCENE 5. RAMPART COOK TENT

SOUND PEOPLE EATING

ANTOINE [talking “accidentally too loud”, trying to be overheard and spread problems] Oscar is losing ze control.

BUSTER He’s a pro. He can handle it.

ANTOINE Are you so very sure? He should take ze time away and be by ze side of 'is fiancée. What do you sink will happen if she might be morte?

MAISIE Morte? Is that--?

ANTOINE Dead. If she was to make dead, 'e will crumble.

BUSTER Please. Oscar ain't that fragile.

MUSIC

SCENE 6. RAMPART FRONT GATE

SOUND TRAFFIC IN THE DISTANCE

MAC Is it safe to talk here?

OSCAR [lifeless] Sure. Better here in the open, than where anyone can overhear us. Once we go in, it’s… busy.

ROSE So, Joanette?

MAC Murdered?

ZORION Who?

ROSE [quick, whispered] Tell you later.

OSCAR Yeah. Dead. [seems calmer, now that he has said it, and he just sounds flat] I’ve told the crew she was taken to a hospital. Only Antoine knows - he was there when I found her.

MAC Where?

OSCAR My trailer.

ROSE What happened?

OSCAR I don’t know. I got us out of there as quickly as I could. [heavy sigh, then gets some energy back] I feel like such a shmuck for lying, but with all the delays and problems, we can’t weather another shock! If the show is to go on, we have to keep shooting. You see that, don’t you, Mac?

MUSIC

SCENE 7. PEONY LOUNGE

SOUND ECHOEY ROOM

MADAME [suddenly furious, but intense and hissy, not loud] Movies? Those films they make of undressed women?

DUKE [worried, but quiet] Bertie?

BERTIE [quick] Tsh! [calmly, to Ting] They are no friends of yours, I hope?

MADAME [still furious] FRIENDS? Never! You get movie, you don’t need girl any more!

BERTIE We aim to put them out of business.

MADAME [suddenly smooth again] Yesss?

BERTIE This is one occasion where the needs of the authorities and your needs walk hand in hand, as it were. We will endeavor to remove this thorn for you, and all we ask is your help in finding these wicked men.

MUSIC

SCENE 8. RAMPART PICTURES, FRONT GATE

SOUND DISTANT CITY NOISES

MAC You expect us to go along with this lie?

OSCAR I'm the one paying you, ain't I?

MAC Oscar – you have to inform the police!

OSCAR I need three days. I gotta get some rewrites done to cover Joanie’s …disappearance… but we can shoot everything else we need here, then I tell them she passed away from her injuries and we can reshoot a few things back on the mainland. Then all our work – not just MY work, but everyone’s. The actors, the writer—

ROSE [jumping in] I thought you were the writer?

OSCAR [lying a bit, but offhand] Oh, well - you think anyone writes a whole script by themselves? There’s always helpers, dialog, rewrites, all that. They get paid and I get credit. It’s pretty much standard in the industry.

MAC Hmm. And covering up murder…?

OSCAR You’d be surprised how often something like that is standard, too.

MUSIC

FAKE COMMERCIAL

ANNOUNCER Americans are no-nonsense purchasers. We like to know costs up front. That's why stores put price tags on their goods. We go shopping, do some basic addition, and voila! We have a budget.

SOUND MUSIC TURNS DARK

ANNOUNCER But what's the cost of negligence? The cost of not looking ahead to the future?  A cubit of prevention can save you a hectare of cure. The cost of travel without insurance can be significant.

SOUND MUSIC BRIGHTENS

ANNOUNCER That's why the Farwest Aid Society for Travelers F-A-S-T FAST! [fast effect] Is the best friend a traveler in the Pacific has. FAST [fast effect] offers the most reasonable travel insurance rates and is opening more offices every day to make sure you get where you're heading. Put your money where your life is, with FAST.

SCENE 9. HOTEL LOBBY

SOUND DUKE AND BERTIE WALK UP TO DESK

DUKE I sure enough thought for a second there that dame was gonna just open up that mouth of hers and swallow us both!

BERTIE Come now, Duke. The lady is powerful, and certainly wicked, but she’s not a literal monster.

DUKE And why not, Bertie? If there’s wolf folks that turn to wolves, there could be dragon ladies that are real dragons!

BERTIE I prefer to live in the real world, old chum. Ah. [to clerk] I see there’s a message in our slot?

KAMALANI Aloha, sir! Which room?

SOUND KEY SET DOWN

KAMALANI Gotcha.

SOUND ENVELOPE PASSED OVER, OPENED

BERTIE [reading] Mac expects us at Rampart by dusk.

DUKE I gotta change first. I smell like a bull in an incense shop.

BERTIE I’m sure we have a minute or two for a quick touchup.

SHERMAN [drunk, yelling from across the room] Hey! It’s my best friends in the whole world. Come and have a drink with me, pals!

DUKE Can't we pretend we din’t see him?

MUSIC

SCENE 10. RAMPART FRONT GATE

SOUND DISTANT TRAFFIC

MAC [intense but not loud] Can’t you see, Oscar, that not reporting this might put you, or your precious cast and crew, in harm’s way?

OSCAR What do you mean?

SOUND ROSE SLIPS AWAY, ZORION FOLLOWS

SOUND MAC AND OSCAR’S VOICE RECEDE AS WE FOLLOW ROSE

MAC If this - murder - is your letter writer’s next step, what's to keep him from striking again?

OSCAR [fumbling, but caving in] But – but that’s what you’rehere for. To protect us. You and your friends. Say, where are the other fellows?

ROSE [whispered] Those bare feet of yours are quiet - I’ll give you that, Zorion.

ZORION You ... tread softly ... as well.

ROSE [quiet laugh]  OK, let’s find the trailer Mac was telling us about.

ZORION To see this dead woman?

ROSE Mostly, I want to see how safe it is to leave her there. Until Mac says it’s ok, we better make sure no one gets in.

MUSIC

SCENE 11. HOTEL LOBBY

SOUND SHERMAN STUMBLES OVER TO THEM

SHERMAN [very drunk] My best two friends, tell me where Rose is?

DUKE Tell us where your room is, Sherman ole pal, and we’ll get you tucked up in bed.

SHERMAN Nah, I need to tell Rose something.

SOUND CARSON WALKS UP

CARSON You won’t believe the tales Sherman here has been telling me.

BERTIE Oh goodness. Mr. Carson, isn’t it?

CARSON At your service. Our friend here’s been regaling anyone who would buy him a drink.

DUKE Looks like there’s been plenty.

CARSON [amused, not serious] Can you verify any of these tales of alleged wolfman attacks by moonlight?

BERTIE Oh, goodness. [sigh, decides] Look. Mac made a deal with you on the ship, didn’t he? Your help in return for an exclusive story?

CARSON We had an arrangement, yeah. But that’s all past.

BERTIE Ludicrous wolfman story aside, there is a potential expose’ boiling under the surface here.

CARSON Do tell?

DUKE Time for some serious horse trading, buckaroo.

BERTIE Let’s get thisfool squared away, first. [slowly] Where is your room, Sherman?

MUSIC

SCENE 12. TRAILER

SOUND RATTLE DOOR KNOB, DOOR OPENS

ROSE Oscar left this unlocked?

SOUND DOOR OPENS, SHE STEPS IN

ROSE [to Zorion] Wait out here. Tell me if anyone’s coming.

SOUND CLICK, FLASHLIGHT ON

ROSE [from inside, gasp] Ohhh. Poor Joanette, though I suppose it’s a good thing they didn’t move the body.

ZORION [sharp whispers] Rose! Mac---!

ROSE [from inside] He’ll be here soon enough. I just want to -- Ooh, there’s something in her hand!

ZORION [sharp whispers, warning] No! Rose!

MAC [annoyed but normal voice] Yes. Rose.

ROSE [from inside] Oh…. Drat.

SOUND SHE COMES TO THE DOOR

ROSE Uh. Mac—

MAC [heavy sigh] Did you touch anything?

ROSE [a bit sulky] Of course not! Not even whatever’s in her hand.

MAC [stern] Down thatpath is the cottage. That’s where the other actresses are. Go see what you can get out of them. Don’t mention this.

ROSE [resentfully saucy] Yes, sir, mister Mac, sir.

MAC [softening a bit] and …Rose?

ROSE Yeah, Mac?

MAC Flashlight?

ROSE [relenting] All right, you can borrow mine.

SOUND PASSES FLASHLIGHT OVER

ROSE [sigh] Come on Zorion, time for girl talk.

MUSIC

SCENE 13. HOTEL HALLWAY

SOUND SHERMAN'S DOOR SHUTS

BERTIE Let’s hope he stays put until he sleeps that off.

DUKE And then stays put til his head shrinks back to normal size.

CARSON I wouldn’t want to be him, come morning.

SOUND THEY WALK DOWN THE HALL, TALKING

BERTIE We appreciate your help, and even more your discretion, Mr. Carson.

CARSON Anything for a good story. You did say this is really big?

BERTIE Does breaking an international blackmail ring sound big enough?

CARSON [low whistle] I’ll say.

DUKE With a heaping helping of dirty pictures, no less.

CARSON You’ve got my full attention.

BERTIE We just need to change, and you can come with us to meet Mac at Rampart. You don’t mind waiting?

CARSON I got the patience of a concrete lion.

DUKE Here’s our room.

CARSON [aside] But the temper of a drunk baboon.

SOUND KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS

SOUND LIGHT SWITCH

BERTIE [horrified] Oh my – I- I can’t—

DUKE [shocked] No. No way – that wasn’t there when we left, [horrified] was it?

MUSIC

SCENE 14. TRAILER

SOUND MAC QUIETLY POKING AROUND

MAC [quietly, to self] Mm. Strangled, by the looks of it. Need a doctor to be certain.

SOUND MOVES A BIT

MAC Rose said something was-- Hmm. Small, and gold. A button, I think. [sighs] I don’t want to move her until I can get photos, though I’ve got a strong hunch someone has already been in here and tampered with the scene.

SOUND STANDS AND MOVES BACK TO THE DOOR

MAC I don’t know why I’m so sure, but it’s--

SOUND STARTS TO TURN KNOB TO OPEN DOOR, THEN STOPS

MAC [whispered] Someone… outside? Who?

MUSIC

SCENE 15. THE COTTAGE

SOUND KNOCKING ON DOOR

OLIVIA [from inside] Who’s there?

ROSE It’s Rose, Mac’s sister. We met at the restaurant.

SOUND DOOR OPENS

OLIVIA Please tell me you have some good news.

ROSE Mostly, I have questions. May we come in?

OLIVIA Ooh, who’s this handsome fellow with you?

ZORION I am Zorion.

ROSE He’s engaged. But he’s supposed to keep me out of trouble.

OLIVIA [laughs] Come in, both of you. Have you met Darlene?

DARLENE Charmed.

ROSE [bluntly] We haven’t met, but I recognize you from your picture.

SOUND SHE WHIPS OUT THE SNAPSHOT

DARLENE Which one? [faltering, faintly] Oh. No.

ROSE Care to explain?

MUSIC

SCENE 16. HOTEL HALLWAY

SOUND CLOSING DOOR, QUIETLY

BERTIE Well.

DUKE Can we trust him?  That much?

SOUND INSIDE ROOM, FLASHBULBS

BERTIE We hardly have a choice.

DUKE What do we do now? We’ll be here all night once the police show up.

BERTIE I don’t think that’s an option. Mac needs us back at the set, and she—well, she’s not going anywhere. We’ll put the “do not disturb” sign out and deal with this in the morning. No one knows she’s there--.

DUKE Whoever killed her knows!

BERTIE You have a point, but I still think we can hold out until morning. Mac’s going to need every hand on deck tonight.

SOUND DOOR OPENS, CARSON COMES OUT

CARSON [hiding his upset] Whew. Gee, you guys know how to throw a party.

BERTIE How long will it take to develop those?

MUSIC TO CLOSING

ANNOUNCER Is there a dead body in the hotel room Duke and Bertie share? And who is "she"? What picture did Rose show Darlene to make her so upset? And who – or what - might be stalking around outside the trailer where Mac is looking for clues?

END