A DIFFERENT PORTRAIT - PART 7 (Patreon)

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Part 7: A Heavy Heart, A Troubled Mind

The rustling of leaves in the firefly forest whispered like the soft murmurs of nature, yet today, that tranquility weighed heavily on my heart. It had been a week since Ace Vernon departed from Azure Haven Town, but the image of that young man lingered, haunting my mind. Every silent step along the rugged trail leading to my ranger's guard post felt like fragments of memories striking against my soul.

His radiant eyes, skillful hands, and calm demeanor clung to me, day and night, without reprieve. The way Ace Vernon expressed emotions was unlike anyone else. At first glance, he seemed utterly ordinary—his appearance slightly above average, his face often wearied, and his habit of undervaluing himself apparent. Yet, in the smallest of gestures, like rescuing a wildcat or playing cheerfully with tiny creatures, he revealed an undeniable superiority over others—a sincere heart brimming with compassion.Is this what they call inner beauty? No, that's not it! Ever since I found myself entranced by him, Ace Vernon seemed perfect in every way. Such charm could never be merely “above average.” I was startled by the thought, could it be that one day, some girl from Luminous City might steal him away?

But then, I slumped into the chair at the ranger's guard post, certain that my face must look utterly dejected. That’s right—why should I care about who he likes or who likes him? I’m nothing to him, after all!

Thinking of this, I grew increasingly angry with myself—a hopeless, incompetent fool who had left such a terrible impression on the person I liked. Who else could I blame? No one but myself! What tormented me most was the way he looked at me that last time. His gaze held a trace of longing, mixed with a hint of disappointment, as if he had been waiting for something I was unable to give.

It was almost seven in the evening, yet I still didn’t want to leave. I sat silently in the ranger’s guard post, the light from a small oil lamp casting its glow upon my face. The entire room was shrouded in a dim, shadowy haze. My hand brushed against the porcelain cup that had long grown cold. A sigh escaped my lips, as if hoping the sorrow within me might dissipate with that breath—but it was all in vain.

“What’s wrong with me?” I muttered to myself. “Just a passerby, so why does he occupy my thoughts this much? Love blooming in just a few days for someone who dislikes me? And to top it off, that someone is a man. How ridiculous!”

I wanted to laugh, I truly did, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. Deceiving oneself is no easy feat, after all. The days since Ace Vernon left felt like an unfinished melody, left without resolution. My heart—so accustomed to the chill of loneliness and solitude—could no longer return to its once-calm state. Something had changed.

One day, as dull as any other, sunlight streamed through the gaps in the forest canopy when I suddenly heard a familiar voice. Lifting my head from the desk in the ranger’s guard post, I glanced out the window. Not far away stood a girl with jet-black hair and a radiant smile. She was dressed in a simple, flowing dress, her shoes dusted with the red earth—evidence that she had just returned to Azure Haven Town after traversing a dirt road.

“Hehe, hello, ex-lover!” she teased with a mischievous smile—one of her most endearing traits, making her the only person outside my family I dared to open my heart to. Or rather, I should say, she’s about to officially become part of the family soon—as my “sister-in-law,” to be precise.

“Lina! It’s… it’s been such a long time since I last saw you. Did… did you just come back to visit your hometown?” I stammered.

Lina nodded, brushing off her dress lightly. “Goodness, it’s been years, and you still haven’t gotten over your shyness, have you? But why are you even shy around me now?! Don’t tell me you no longer see me as your beloved junior from the Animal Lovers Club!”

Embarrassed, I replied, “Of course not, I...”

“OK, OK, ex-lover. I was just teasing you a little; no need to try so hard to explain,” Lina chuckled. Then, her voice softened as she continued, “Hey, I’ve got something I want to tell you.”

“What is it?” I asked, tilting my head slightly, feeling as though I had calmed down a little.

“I... I've been dating Narek for a while now. We're getting married soon.”

“Congratulations!” I replied to Lina. Of course, I had known about this for quite some time. With my younger brother’s personality, there was no way he could keep this a secret for more than three seconds.

Lina pretended to glare at me. “You're not even a little surprised or disappointed? After all, back then, you used all your courage to confess to me, didn’t you? Or… wait…” She suddenly stopped mid-sentence, then smiled at me with a sly, knowing look. “You already have someone in your heart, don’t you?” I was startled, wanting to deny it, but no words would come out—because, clearly, it was true.

Lina spread one hand out in front of me. “OK, OK… no need to think of a way to deny it. Telling the truth is already hard enough for you, let alone lying.” Then she clasped her hands together, rubbing them eagerly as her tongue stuck out playfully. “Who is it? Which girl? Do I know her?” Her mannerisms made her look just like some nosy paparazzo chasing after gossip.

Embarrassed, I lowered my head and stammered, “I… actually… I…”

Lina suddenly sensed something amiss and blurted out, “Don’t tell me it’s a woman over 70 years old?”

I quickly waved my hands, “No... no, it’s not!”

“Already married with kids?”

“No... no, it’s not that either!”

Lina propped her chin on her hand, tilting her head thoughtfully like a detective in some mystery novel. “Makes sense. You're so shy around strangers, there's no way you'd dare get involved with someone that extraordinary. Which means... there's only one possibility left.”

I felt my throat go dry, struggling to swallow. Lina continued, “The person you like is a man, and you’ve only been secretly in love with him. Am I right?”

I could feel my face burning, a clear sign that Lina’s guess had hit the mark. She burst into laughter. “Haha! I never would’ve guessed, my dear ex-lover! You confessed to me back then, and now you’ve had a change of heart?” Lina pretended to raise her hands and rub her eyes, as if crying—a performance that couldn’t have been more theatrical. And, of course, I’m not someone who enjoys watching theatrics. The more Lina teased me, the redder my face became.

Lina leaned in close, her face just inches from mine. “So, who’s the lucky guy? Do I know him?”

I wasn’t sure if Lina knew Ace Vernon, so I chose to describe his appearance instead. It seemed I got a bit carried away, unintentionally providing more detail than necessary. Lina sat quietly, listening intently the whole time. When I finished, she crossed her arms, closed her eyes, and spoke like a sage, “The person you’re describing sounds like a certain veterinarian who always carries a medical kit around with him, doesn’t it?” Oh no. That meant she did know Ace Vernon.

She looked at me, her gaze softening. “So, what do you want to do now?”

I remained silent for a moment before softly saying, “I don’t know. But I can’t let go of these feelings!”

Lina shrugged. “Why let go? I fully support you ending up with that self-doubting guy. It’s clear he’s a great person, yet he keeps seeing himself as inferior to everyone else. Up until now, he hasn’t even had a single romantic relationship. If, one day, he does fall in love, I hope the person he loves is someone I know and trust. So, that being said...”

Lina stepped closer, taking my hand in hers, “I truly hope that person will be you.”

I shook my head vigorously, “But… that’s impossible. Both he and I are men! How could I ever be the ‘girl’ he falls in love with? Not to mention, I’ve already made him hate me!”

Lina looked at me intently, and then a smile returned to her lips—not one of teasing this time, but one of encouragement. “So, how about you hear me out, just this once? Don’t get upset when I say this. But I think… you’re not really suited to being a man. Seriously! If you can’t be the kind of man people expect, why not try being a woman instead?”

Lina's words made me lift my head to look at her, my eyes wide with a mix of surprise and doubt. “You… you’re serious?” Lina nodded firmly. “That’s right! I’ll help you. Just trust me!”

And so, from that day onward, Lina began teaching me little things, one step at a time. At first, it was gestures, how to walk, how to talk, and then how to choose the right clothes. Initially, I felt incredibly awkward, but Lina’s encouragement gradually helped me open up. From those first tentative steps in this journey of transformation, the story of my life began to take a completely new direction.

PART 8 >>