I paused for a moment (Patreon)

to think as I watched the chair scurry away. Perhaps I should follow it to see what route it took to get to Persoc Tor from here. Would it travel through a Gate or would it step right into the looming grey Gap that still surrounded Albric Tor?

My thoughts were interrupted by Burnside cackling, "I could name this end Choppy an' the other'un Chippy. That's two fer the price of one! Now I ain't pickin for keeps yet, mind you. I need somethin' to test it out on first."

"Not one of us!" a nearby Shrub Knight protested.

"Do not chop our leafy allies!" I ordered without turning around. "You might be better off picking a different weapon." I tried to return to my musings but the chair was now too far away to catch up with. I heard Rebecca giggle, and shushed her with a petulant “Come now. A walking chair isn’t that funny is it?” My thoughts turned to my first magick lessons. If I was to teach Rebecca the way my mother had taught me, what came next ...? Oh yes, at that time I had decided to use my newfound skills to work some mischief and play a prank on my mother. As I recalled, that prank ended up ruining her best kitchen knife, and she was quite cross at me. We ended up having pumpkin casserole! Yuck!

I was suddenly yanked out of my reverie by the sound of Burnside howling with rage, and Rebecca giggling like a schoolyard japester.

"DOGGONIT!!!" Burnside shrieked as she brandished a strangely floppy dagger. "WHO DONE THIS?? WHO COMMITTED THIS HERE CRIME AGAINST THE ART OF WAR AN’ WEAPONRY?? VENGEANCE, AH SAY!! BLOOD AN’ VENGEANCE!!!”

"Actually," Rebecca chuckled, wiping a dainty tear from her eye, "it was just a-”

"NOOOO!!!” I yelled as I lunged forward and hit Burnside with the strongest Orgasmic Touch I could muster. She immediately collapsed into a twitching heap atop the pile of weapons. I promptly undid the grammarye to turn the dagger back to normal, then took Rebecca’s hand and swiftly led her away.

"Not growing up in Faerie, I suppose you never heard the story of Jack O'Napes," I scolded. "The most important thing about japes is to choose your targets wisely. Never prank someone who is a bloodthirsty maniac. For example: ANYONE BUT BURNSIDE."

"Oooooh…" Rebecca murmured as she began to realize just how dangerous the situation had been.

"Perhaps we should move on to learning the Voice of the Forest," I suggested.

"What was that spell you used on Burnside just now?" Rebecca asked innocently. "That one would be useful to know."

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