I stared at the meddling lowfolk (Patreon)

youths in disbelieving bewilderment. Still flush with the adrenaline of the chase, I took a few moments to construct a coherent query: “Wha- How- Why- … How did you get here??”

“The normal way,” Maeve (the bookish femme in the pumpkin-colored sweater) replied with a shrug.

“We were, like, on our way to a totally groovy music festival," Slovenly explained, "when we found this major creepfest, man.”

"The Conundrum Contraption broke down on the way," Ralph added. (He was the bear in the bowler hat & ascot, the apparent leader of the group.) “So we were walking along looking for the venue when all of these ghouls and ghosts came out of nowhere and nearly scared us to death.”

“And then that headless marauder chased us around for hours," Phoebe the bird complained, fluffing her head-feathers. "We ducked in here when something else took his interest.”

“Merthy thaketh, Thlovenly,” Folly uttered sagely, and they all nodded in agreement.

“Folly’s right," Ralph declared. "That headless rider probably knew you guys were looking around and went after you.”

“I wonder how he knew…” Maeve mused, scratching her chin in thought.

“Looks like we’ve got another conundrum on our hands, gang!” Ralph exclaimed triumphantly.

My stomach clenched and I could not help but grimace ruefully at the Folly Gang’s antics. This was exactly how my previous encounter with them had gone. If this whole thing turned out to be another idiotic fraud, I felt pretty sure I would have to punch someone.

“My lord, who are these people?" Rebecca whispered. "They seem to know you.”

"Smell like lowfolk," Burnside muttered. "What in tarnation they doin' here?"

"I met them while traveling to the North Woods to find you," I explained with a sigh. "They had stumbled upon a really dumb mystery that turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by a moron pretending to be ghost. Everybody was terrified, and their fear was leading them into ever more idiotic pratfalls until these kids figured out the villain's scheme and unmasked him. He had gone to all this trouble just to drive down the price of a condemned property, with no real value, that no one wanted anyway."

“Oh!” Rebecca gasped in excitement. “That sounds like quite a fun adventure! Do you think this Dullahan is running a real-estate scheme too?”

“He better not be!” I snarled, clenching my fists.

“We should team up like we did last time," Ralph suggested. "This case will be a breeze with you and your two lovely companions helping us, Mr. Randall.”

“Absolutely not!" I refused emphatically. "This is an elfly matter and I will not have all your deaths at the hands of an Unseelie specter weighing on my conscience! I am escorting you all back to the lowfolk world immediately.”

“Ooooh, Elfly Matter!" Phoebe cooed, wide-eyed. "Is that the name of your band? Are you here for the music festival too?”

“I bet this whole so-called haunting is just an attempt to ruin the festival by a rival music company,” Ralph theorized.

“It’s probably to cover up a smuggling operation," Maeve declared confidently. "There could be jewels and rum hidden inside all those prop skeletons.”

“Is there, like, anything to eat around here?" Slovenly asked, glancing nervously around the room we were hiding in. "It’s been over twenty minutes since Folly and I ate anything.”

“Merthy thaketh, Thlovenly,” the ant whined, and all the kids laughed.

“Escorting you out of here immediately,” I growled through gritted teeth.

“How are you going to get them all back home with everything going on outside?” Rebecca asked.

“I can pook us all back to the scrying tower,” I stated. "I think."

“Like, crack open a window if you’re going to do that, man,” Slovenly retorted.

“I say we keep ‘em with us,” Burnside chuckled evilly. “They can distract that there Dullahan and we can escape whilst they get ripped apart.”

“Burnside!” Rebecca scolded.

"What?" the raccoon retorted. "Ain't no other use for 'em I can see."

It wasn't a bad plan ... but no! I was determined to be Seelie! I tried to focus my mind and energy on transporting, but something felt off. I was having trouble visualizing the scrying tower. Was something blocking me? Was this place truly cursed, or was there something powerful which didn’t want any of us leaving? Or could it simply be my own uncertainty since I hadn't ever pooked this many people over such a long distance before? It was too risky! I might be placing them in more danger than I would if I followed Burnside's plan! It was no use; we were all going to be stuck together for the time being.

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