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Early update for July 28, 2025 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-27 03:55:02
Edited:
2025-07-27 03:56:11
Imported:
2026-06

Content

329) call to cancel cable subscription, successfully

Files

Comments

MrShoggoth

Remind me if she’s told Joyce before? Big if she hasn’t

Andrea Andrew

I’m glad she’s motivated again, but 738..wow.

Quantum

Well… it’s on the list!

C

"Topple the military industrial complex" ...Okay, how about this Dorothy: Tell Joe, Tell Walky, then you can go forward. Telling Becky can be before or after, but can be #4 on the list if you want, after talking with Asma about...not being great at the protesting thing.

el

476: make out justttt enough to tide us over until we complete all our tasks

Kelly (they-them)

How much time has passed? How fast can Dorothy write?

Megh

I can't help but be suspicious of those reports about AG...

Bad Poetry

Man, I really do kinda hate this. Cheating on people sucks.

Megh

I'm guessing items 20-737 were: Make out with Joyce

Kelly (they-them)

Yes, I believe Dotty admitted to it at the end of their date at the bar, after Amazi-Girl showed up to walk them home I don't know if it's possible to do cross out text on Patreon comments, but if I could and knew how to, I'd have crossed out "date" and written "outing"

P J Upton

Well I guess Amazi-Girl is fine! That Chekhov’s Gun only had blanks in it…

5099 5618 v2.0

@Monzoku Bokundtsu So, like Cookie Clicker? If so, she's gonna need more grannies.

Jeremy AR

Ok so the theory that kiss is viral got debunked since Dorothy would had noticed while checking out for AG.

5099 5618 v2.0

See, this is why POTUS has a Chief of Staff, tho.

Megh

At least it hasn't gone viral yet

Logibear

It all feels very methodical after the fact too.

darklion

Freedom is relative

C.T. Phipps

So the plan is to break up with the boys and date? I feel thats implied but not stated yet

5099 5618 v2.0

Dorothy, I suspect your libido cares not for lists. (I'm almost certain Joyce's doesn't, anyway)

Harold

I love Joyce's beaming smile at Dorothy's meticulousness and obsessive creation of to-do lists. Dorothy has been changing so much - and so rapidly - these past couple of weeks (to say nothing of the last two days), but it's nice to see that some things *never* change.

Heatth

For a minute I thought Dorothy had wrestled herself back to her usual self-control-through-checklists self. Turns out she is still in no-chill mode.

Maude Reads Things

As we can see, there are no difficult talks OUTSIDE OF being President either! Speaking of - that sounds like a mighty Presidential list. I, uh, feel like this list could be accomplished by 'quickness of task'. Might make it easier. Of course, you might have to rearrange where Becky is on that

5099 5618 v2.0

~Freedom isn't free, no there's a hefty ****in' fee / and if you don't pay your $1.05, who will...~

GPanda

There’s still time

Dracon Atrox

I'm still hoping for poly! Just have Joe and Walky become good buds, who's girlfriends happen to be dating each other, lol.

etherealDesign

this seems to be about the right level of interpersonal drama for the average (from what I can tell) communist coup. I think chairman keener has a real shot at this

Smoochie

Amazi-Girl deserves her own gritty Netflix show followed by a higher quality Disney plus reboot.

Smoochie

The FBI letting Amber have this one and all her other vigilante work because come graduation, they’ll be waiting for her. They just wanna talk and totally not recruit her. Honest.

Simon Magid

Dorothy clearly follows this model: Miracles done while you wait, the impossible takes a little longer. The impossible being 738).

Logibear

It feels like that's what Dorothy's hoping for. Joyce has been quiet on the matter

Dan Rabin

The goals and sense of purpose have changed, but the personality remains.

Mariah

I also feel thats the plan but I don't think they are on the same page I don't see any willingness on joyces part to break up with joe while dorothy seems to have decided to break up with walky.

Lisa

Not wanting to be President anymore is Dorothy's version of Joyce's atheism journey. Her north star that guided all her decisions, and without it, she thinks she's "free" in a "my actions have no consequences" sense of the word.

GPanda

Maybe but I guess we will see

Lea

Given other discussion here, I figured it's worth pointing out: So far we've heard "Tell Joe". And "Tell Walky." But I haven't heard from *either* girl, "Break up with X". If I've missed something, I'd definitely appreciate having it pointed out.

Mariah

my guess is that dorothy is going to break up with walky and joyce is going to convince joe to have a open relationship.

Jeremy AR

Your mom is relative

Tessea

I think the more they build up the dread of telling Becky, the less of a deal it's actually going to be. I have to say, I wish people would chill out a bit. Yes there are issues with what's happening, but there's a story being told. You either trust DW to continue to tell interesting character driven stories. I highly doubt he's planning to suddenly blow up the entire series in an avalanche of 'everyone is going to be an out of character ass-clown' going forward. Let's see how the story turns out before getting so uptight about it. People are taking it FAR too personally and have to calm down on the character hate/judging.

Gale Tazzin

I think that's a big part of it, that their feelings for their partners hasn't changed. Joe himself told Dorothy to be honest about her feelings for Joyce. I'm not sure a polycule is the solution here but there's certainly some sort of compromise in play

Shane Wegner

Actually makes sense. Having hung out with snipers, snipers will have a very high bar for their RoE (Rules of Engagement) which probably said they can’t shoot until some pulls a firearm and probably not even until shots are fired. They’re basically there just to stop any mass shooting scenario. Since Amazi fights with her fists and feet, she’s below the threshold.

GPanda

Or Joyce can’t pull the trigger and puts it off

GPanda

Yep. Boy Joyce and Dorothy are in for it in the next storylines I feel

Shane Wegner

If they’d caught her, pretty good chance they’d be making a show of how she was brought to justice. If they didn’t, it can turn into “Did YOU get beat up by some college kid in a bright yellow suit and then let her escape?” “Um….nnnnno.” “Me neither. So we all agree there was no masked weirdo and no one is putting such in any report.”

Packy Anderson

Sorry, never gonna stop hating Mary. Nope, not gonna happen.

Tessea

Well I _suppose_ an exception can be made. Mary, and perhaps evil parental/adult figures.

Railway Series Book Club

making checklists is just the default state of Dorothy; its not terribly diagnostic of anything, but being able to make one is a good measure for if she has enough enrichment in her enclosure

Railway Series Book Club

gotta wonder how many of items 7 thru 737 are copy/pasted from Joyce’s list of sex things to try with Joe…

Sajuuk-Khar

Joyce and Dorothy: The first thing we have to do before we allow ourselves to take any further action on our romantic involvement is talk to Joe and Walky, full disclosure, allow them to decide how to move forward. Sex is right out. We’re already on shaky moral ground. The comments: These cold-blooded, dishonest, cheating monsters. You can really tell they’re evil and don’t give a shit about Joe or Walky’s feelings.

Sajuuk-Khar

I mean, I think that’s…normal? Good, even? They’re giving Joe and Walky agency, here. They understand that proceeding without that agency would be, as people have said one billion times, unethical. There’s not a lot more they can reasonably do! Also, like, I know I’m biased, but I’m prickly about calling even an unsuccessful attempt at polyamory trying to “solve” it? or to just “slap a bandage on it”? Like, even if it fails, couldn’t it be an interesting and ultimately good relationship that if nothing else shows Dorothy and Joe that there’s more that they have in common that what separates them? Or conversely gives them, I guess, *actual* reasons to develop resentment for each other?

Sajuuk-Khar

By 476 they’ll have earned it, right? Right???

Sajuuk-Khar

I mean, discussions with Joe and Walky are line items 1 and 2 for a reason :P

Sajuuk-Khar

Like, maybe the problem with a poly solution will be that Joe, who has as much threesome fantasy mentioned as he does cheating trauma, will be so excited to do a threesome that his sophomoric, unrestrained thrusting breaks the 20-year-old loft bed during said Menage a Trois and he gets a giant shard of cheap spruce embedded in his thigh! Maybe that’s what’ll go wrong!

NinjaZaku

I feel like Becky's grown enough as a person to, like, handle this without fucking exploding. Yeah it's not going to be a fun conversation, and she's still going to be hurt in a big way, but Dorothy's attempt to avoid this conversation isn't gonna help anyone

Sajuuk-Khar

Dorothy: …I don’t think I have the equipment or the dexterity for line item #534. Joyce: Well no, that one we need Joe for, I think. Dorothy: …I can agree to that, sure, but only if we cancel line item #542. Joyce: …Yeah, that one’s just unrealistic.

Apocrypha Scribe

Definitely on the side of some of the commenters theorizing Becky's going to take the *cheating* part of this far worse than either of these two expect.

Mariah

at this point I don't think anything less than a game of thrones style walk of shame followed by both of them dying in a explosion and then joe somehow becoming the main character would satisfy them.

Mariah

Its not as bad as yesterday where I had to convince some people to stop yelling slurs at them.

Sajuuk-Khar

Oh believe me I remember the other day with rectangular dipshit

AE Gonzalez

- Make schedule - Becky knocks schedule out of my hand - Call advisor

AE Gonzalez

This should all-but-confirm Dorothy has OCD, or OCD-related neurodivergence.

AE Gonzalez

I legit laughed out loud when I got to “…738)”

Jeremy AR

It's what happens with a one page per day format, the passage of time fell much slower.

Sajuuk-Khar

Becky: *in the bullet-riddled Oval Office, Che-ass fatigues* We did it, Dotty! The sun is risin’ on the American Union of Socialist States t’day! Dorothy: …Yeah…so I guess it’s finally time to tell you. I made out with Joyce. Becky: …For REAL?!?

Jeremy AR

@Sajuuk Who is that so i can block them if i see them?

Sajuuk-Khar

I think they’re already banned? They were “least_rectangles”, they came in here all fired up to scream about cheating and also how Amber was fat, got compared to Blaine as a joke, and melted down

Ouri Maler

You're not gonna make any progress toward objectives 4 and 5 without being President or at least Congresswoman, Dorothy. Despite what so many younger liberals think, protesting is incredibly unlikely to accomplish something, with extremely rare exceptions.

Mariah

I think poly is on the table for joe... walky is doomed i fear.

T Campbell

As an older liberal who's done some protesting, most of us don't expect carrying signs to topple a government (especially not by itself), but it's about moving the needle. Opposition takes many forms and goes onto many fronts. It does matter. (But it's kinda nice to see the return of exaggerated-expectations Dorothy, regardless of context.)

Justin Seifert

I like that telling Joe and Walky are #1 and #2 on the list. I wish they would have a better discussion on what the future of their relationships can/would look like.

Smoochie

With Beanie Feldstein as Amber, Justice Smith as Walky… …Javier Bardem as Toe-Dad?

The Deliberate Myth

One detail has been eating at me from the start of this whole Joyrothy Ship... have they ever even talked to EACH OTHER about what they want their relationship to be? When I was of DOA-age, that talk was a staple, at least among me and my fellow young people: If you "hooked up" or "made out" or otherwise had some form of physical intimacy with someone, at some point you had to have a chat about "what does this mean?" and "Sooo... what does this make us?" And I keep thinking about the shift in Joyce and Dorothy's relationship since this became a tangible thing - going back to the initial laundry sessions, through their music appreciation on the bed, and certainly now - and I cannot think of a time where they have talked to EACH OTHER about how they want their new relationship to be. They are just completely assuming that the other is in 100% agreement with them. And it suddenly occurred to me that their main conflict and drama might not even be external - it could be internal, where this new dynamic means something slightly different to each of them but they have no idea yet. I can imagine Dorothy wanting to break up with Walky and enter a 100% dedicated, committed, monogamous relationship with Joyce. Once she makes a decision, she jumps in all the way. But I can imagine Joyce being a bit more casual about things, wanting to just enjoy the moment a bit and go with whatever flow she is feeling. She is feeling freedom and relief from her upbringing for the first time, and likely needs to experience that for a while before she can make some meaningful decisions. And it all means that the tragedy of the SS Joyrothy is that the instrument of its sinking may have been part of its very making. TL;DR: I hope they put "talk to each other" on that list.

Acebender

at least telling Joe and Walky is in first place

Amós Batista

Plot twist: Becky will be the first to know

Mariah

I have been feeling this for a while some are seeing joyce as "cruel" or uncaring but I don't think thats the case I think she just want to have fun and not commit to a long term relationship. Both Dorothy and Joe have this really intense "she is the love of my life" energy and that is the kind of thing her fundy upbringing has taught her to find the "one" and marry them right out of college it is very likely dorothy could be "the one" in the long term but thats not something she wants to decide right now.

joe mcguire

Unpopular take: if what you’re doing is something you KNOW is going to upset a lot of people, hurt the feelings of people you care about, and cause you to walk on eggshells around the truth, then *maybe* it’s something that’s not worth doing. You don’t *have* to act on every feeling. You love Dorothy but you also love Joe, just because one was discovered more recently doesn’t make it more valid. You also don’t know that what works as friends will work as lovers. You’re set to hurt a lot of people and hurt a lot of feelings without knowing for sure that what you get in exchange is actually worth it. I love cute gay relationships as much as anybody, I just hate seeing people hurt over selfish emotional decisions. They’re letting these newly discovered feelings overwhelm established feelings and letting passion overwhelm them. They *know* how much damage this will do, that should be a sign that it might not be worth it.

Mariah

not really a unpopular take its something the comments have been yelling at them the past few days. You are being civil and reasonable so points for that.

Andrea Andrew

Yeah, just force both of them back in the closet to appease other people. I’m sure that’ll go well.

Matt McKenzie

Few years ago I don’t think I’d have expected Dorothy to be one of my favorite characters

Harold

#625: Borrow grappling hook from Amazi-Girl

Harold

@Packy Anderson: But Mary's the *good* guy now! That one commenter yesterday said so!

Harold

Whoever else gets cast, Blaine *needs* to be Michael Shannon

Girlycore

I mean, not actively dating a woman isn't going back into the closet for bisexual women. However, I do agree that narratively that would be a yikes moment.

Girlycore

Glad I missed that.

etherealDesign

this is called 'repressing who you are' and you can see it's been working fantastically for them both so far this comic. obviously things wouldve been cleaner if theyd gotten together before they started dating other people, or if theyd broken things off once they realized they were in love with each other but before they'd kissed. they didn't though. the only thing that would be drastically worse than cheating and then immediately making a clean break is if they pretended nothing happened and tried to maintain the status quo. these new feelings arent just going to get cleanly stuffed back into the box, you know, thats not really how people work. considering theyre incapable of keeping their hands (and mouths) off of each other how long do you think it would take for them to start making out again? except this time it'd be worse, because instead of being a crime of passion, it would essentially be premeditated.

etherealDesign

i read those lines as her deciding on the fly that she's going to do some kind of maoist insurgency, actually, considering she's given up on going through the proper liberal channels for making change. doing all that before being willing to tell becky is a pretty good bit.

Sajuuk-Khar

Sorry for the WALL OF TEXT: I think, for Joe and Joyce and Dorothy, poly *could be VERY good* (it is not *~magical~*, it will require work, it will involve dramatic situations and be messy!!!) because the three complement each other really well and they each bring different dynamics to the table that they all thrive on. Dorothy and Joe both adore Joyce; Dorothy and Joe both thrive on teasing and needling gently in a way Joyce doesn’t always enjoy solo with either of them; Dorothy and Joe are both people trying to re-invent themselves and have more “world experience”; Joyce and Dorothy have incredible passion for each other; Joe and Joyce have slow-building, wonderful romantic chemistry. There’s this poetry between the three that is missing from either just as a pair. And Joe vs Dorothy is based on a solvable issue, on the premise of Joe’s bad behavior previously. If Dorothy believed he was incapable of change, that would be one thing, but she knows he isn’t and people in general aren’t. So I just can’t see the hate lasting unless they both make insanely shitty decisions! It’s a very rational, very simple dislike that can be mended. Walky, on the other hand, has several problems. First is that the boy has not been committed to this relationship from the get. I want to stress this is NOT a value judgment, this is just…what’s going on. Dorothy isn’t committed either. The relationship was born of her need for a distraction from Joyce, and Walky’s desire to seek a comfortable, relaxing situation after the intensity of the Lucy breakup, which as we kept seeing bothered him way more than anyone thought. And that’s normal, that’s human, but it’s not…good, for a relationship, especially when you’re trying to rekindle an old flame! Seeing it as “easy mode” is a death trap for it, and they *both* fell right into that trap. Moreover, I think Walky’s burnout wasn’t resolved by this situation at all—like. The boy’s problem during his time with Lucy was he had to mask 100% of the time. He had to mask harder than he ever did with Dorothy, and he did mask with her before slowly learning to relax a little, but then at the end he was masking again. And then with Lucy he felt like he had to perform, ALL DAY EVERY DAY, like he was back on stage, back in the Golden Child seat his mom shoved him into. This isn’t Lucy’s fault—this is what happens when the relationship has poor communication, completely skewed expectations, and one of them is a depressed ADHD boy who’s already got heartbreak issues and incredibly evil shit parents. I honestly think his most healthy relationship is with Amber, because Amber *kept him from masking* from the word go. She has no expectations he has to perform for, no echoes of his evil fucking mom: she’s “garbage”, and so she’s free. And he feels free! And speaking as someone with ADHD that is SO IMPORTANT. holy FUCK. And then finally, finally, there is Joyce vs. Walky. This is not an issues-based, interpersonal interactions rivalry. This is *vibes*. Joyce might cherish Walky in her heart of hearts but she’s also Asuka Sohryu to his Shinji Ikari. She’s never going to not clash with him. This isn’t something you work out with words because it’ll just go south. So yeah. Walky needs to get out of there, for himself and for the sake of his relationship health. I think he and Dotty will always be important to one another, they’ll always love each other and think of each other as college sweethearts, but I don’t think it’s good to keep this going and it’s worse to make it poly with someone he just doesn’t like that way, at all.

Heatth

Sorry, no, that is an absurd sentiment. You don't have to date someone just because it will upset them otherwise. Forcing yourself to be in a relationship is MUCH worse than kissing someone else. Should they have broken off, or talked, with their respective boyfriends before kissing? Yes, of course. But they already kissed, the cheating is already done, so they should talk with the boyfriends anyway about it (it is actually, shittier, in my opinion, to cheat and not tell). And they clearly want to continue to kiss, so that is it, that is the relationship they desire and a confrontation with the boyfriends is inevitable. And, like, the one person they are more worried about is Becky who, frankly, doesn't get to dictate who either of those girls date. I love Becky, and so does Joyce and even Dorothy, it sucks that her feelings with be hurt. But it something that must happen because it is not actually her business. They should be considerate and try to make it hurt as little as possible, but, that is it. Specially because the part that hurts the most is that Joyce is attracted to women but not to Becky. To avoid Becky to ever be hurt by THAT the only solution would be for Joyce to stay in the closet forever which would be, obviously, a fucked up thing.

Matt McKenzie

Yeah, they should just date Joe and Walky even though it's not what they really want. That's super fair and honest to everyone involved.

Mariah

I could write an essay on how the palidins keep echoing purity culture and the hayes code I don't think they are all arguing in bad faith or doing it on purpose but it is fascinating to see such rhetoric come from otherwise progressive people echo such conservative sentiments and its not even about cheating its the idea that you should repress who you are for the sake of others. What he said reminded me of the 1961 movie the childrens hour which you know is sympathetic but ultimatly comes to the conclusions that repression is better for the characters involved then acting on their feelings even when it ends tragically.

tifani

I think she wants to have fun and commit to multiple relationships.

tifani

I need them to get over the Becky shit and start talking about how they still want to date their boyfriends and each other because I need this conversation to move on to the next phase and I think they’re hyper focusing on Becky to drag this out longer.

tifani

At this point I just want Joe and Walky to be there standing off panel having overheard all of this.

tifani

I am too impatient for this. I should start reading this weekly instead of daily but I am too impatient for THAT. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Sajuuk-Khar

Cross out the FBI and put in our Dumbiverse version of SEMME and now we’re talking

Harold

@Magic Chopstick Games: Maybe Becky is who they're running from in that July 1 preview panel from next year, and that's why Dorothy looks so nervous. "I know, I know, we have to tell her *eventually*! Just not yet!"

Heatth

I know right? For the longest time she felt like a support character to me. I liked her relationships with Joyce, Walky and even Becky, but mostly for how it impacted the other party, not for her herself. But she have been killing it recently.

Railway Series Book Club

she's very recently become my favorite of the whole cast. she's a very fun character to watch get poked and unraveled by the narrative!

tifani

I am starting to think Joe’s going to be sticking with Joyce but Walky is going to see this as a get out of jail free card to pursue Amber. One of them being dumped (Dorothy) and the other not (Joyce) feels like a resolution no one’s really thought of yet and in a way makes it the most likely.

Astariel

I agree that they should absolutely talk to each other about their expectations for the future, but I don't think there is any way in hell that Joyce sees this as a casual thing. Even putting aside that Willis described what happened at the protest as a wedding, it's been clear over and over again that Dorothy is more important to Joyce than anyone. She may or may not want to try to keep her relationship with Joe going, but when push comes to shove, she will choose Dorothy over anyone or anything else.

Astariel

Nah, she's cheered on cheating before. If she has a problem now, it will be about the people involved, not the cheating itself.

Mariah

no I agree I think she is way more casual about joe in that she has no real desire to break up with him but if its a choice between him and dorothy she will choose dorothy. Dorothy on the otherhand is just immediatly ready to dump walky.

Mariah

yeah that commenter is giving me real far right vibes like outing a queer person is always wrong even if they are cheating it puts joyce especially in danger if her family finds out. Then again some people literally agreed with mary over carla during the misgendering fiasco so I shouldn't be suprised.

Mariah

I also had to carfully explain to them that they were being homophobic which is not fun for me to do.

Ph

I'm getting this vibe too. Dorothy will break up with Walky and assuming that Joyce will also break up with Joe and will be surprised when she doesn't. My prediction is she won't be happy to share Joyce with Joe, and also possibly wonder whether she really had to break up with Walky if that's the arrangement.

Maybeeus

The real question how deep into the list will they get before their hormones take over? I wanna say they hit 256 but halfway to 2 is also a good guess.

5099 5618 v2.0

I'd say they probably get as far as 3 (...2 ...1 )

5099 5618 v2.0

@Sajuuk-Khar "Shh!" "(A nickel?!)" "(Riiiiight...)"

Daisy

joining the patreon to SEE THE HEAT....HOT.....OUTTA THE OVEN >:D

joe mcguire

I resent the idea that I’m spouting Hayes code rhetoric for suggesting that people shouldn’t follow every impulse they have off a cliff. I’m not saying they should repress themselves or hide who they are, I’m saying they should take *a* moment and try to figure out who they are. They had an intense, passionate moment in the midst of danger and violence and that allowed some feelings to shake loose, that’s great, but why does that invalidate all the other feelings? As far as Dorothy goes, yeah I think this is her thing now,I think this is where her heart is- with Joyce, it’s been building up, and she’s kind of with walky for lack of a better idea. And it probably has been the same for Joyce, but Joyce also had this build up and eventual expression of feelings with Joe- and in their time it was pretty recently- so like, okay she has feelings for Dorothy, but does that just erase the feelings she very clearly had for Joe? All I’m saying is they could benefit from some calm, un-pressured introspection, but instead, moments after the danger has passed, they’ve decided to break up with their partners. They’re chasing these new feelings off a cliff without thinking about it. People leaping down my throat thinking I’m supporting self-repression when all I’m saying is, the feelings that were true yesterday might still be true today- and going full tilt after the most recent feelings might leave you in a place of regret later when you realize that. And yes, they could also regret not following these new feelings, but they haven’t taken any time to think about it or discuss it and they’re about to commit to it regardless of what happens. I just don’t think that’s fair— to *anyone* even excluding Joe, Becky and Walky from the discussion, it’s not fair to the Joyce and Dorothy that will have to live in the scorched earth of their social circle because past Dorothy and Joyce committed to this thing without a second thought. You don’t *have* to follow *every* feeling to its terminus *right away* is all I’m saying.

Sajuuk-Khar

Why do they call it oven when you

Mariah

Im not saying you are specifically If you looked at my comment I said you actually are pretty reasonable but paladins in general make those sort of arguments.