I Knew You Were Trouble - part 9 (Patreon)

And we're back!

This month has been very exciting for me in terms of all of the ongoing stories on here (Lemon returning in The Game Plan, Charlotte learning about Sutton in Guilty as Sin, and now... Autumn and Maya - well, I won't spoil it)

* I do want to make a little note about this month's poll - I have until the 31st to finish all of the bits and bobs in my manuscript for Simon & Schuster. And me being me, I will want to be writing and adding things until the last minute with this draft. So Regan/Emma won the results of the poll - and you will see the results of that next month :)

Without further adieu...

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Part Nine

Autumn had self-control.

She actually had more self-control than almost anyone else she’d ever, personally, known.

And that was not accidental; it was a necessity.

She had to remind herself of that fact right now, because if she didn’t, there was a good chance she might spiral out. She couldn’t think about her current actions too deeply, either, or she would definitely spiral out.

Her current action being that she’d just arrived at Maya’s building and was about to knock on the door, everything inside of her feeling so…

Wanting.

That was precisely what this feeling was, and it was strange and scary for Autumn to feel this way about someone she was having a sexual relationship with. Because it wasn’t simply a physical want, not even close.

She held her breath and knocked, refusing to think any deeper about it. What was the point?

And she continued to hold her breath in her lungs, her heart pounding a little harder in her chest, until the door swung open, and her breath escaped in a whoosh.

“You’re home,” she breathed out, a smile tugging at her lips.

There Maya stood in the few inches revealed by her open door, clearly having not expected any visitors, including Autumn. Wearing one of her Penn State sweatshirts and gray joggers, her dark hair tossed up into a bun. She was holding a shirt that was half-folded in her hands, and her eyes widened in surprise, even as a small smile played on her lips.

“I am,” she confirmed, needlessly. “And… you’re also at my home?” She slowly arched Autumn a look.

She felt her heart skip a beat and her cheeks heated. “I am,” she, too, needlessly confirmed. Because, obviously.

Maya tilted her head, that slow, beautiful smile sweeping over her face. “And you’re here because…?” She trailed off, teasingly. “What, you a pizza delivery person, now?”

Autumn rolled her eyes. “Yes. I’ve quit my job and found a new vocation. A real calling.”

“I hate to tell you this, since you’ve “found a real calling” and all, but,” Maya leaned forward a few inches, dropping her voice to a whisper, “You’re missing the pizza.”

Maya then let out a long, put-upon sigh, throwing her hands into the air dramatically. “Which is a real shame, I might add, because for a great pizza delivery gal showing up on my doorstep that looks like you… well, I’d have given you a great tip.”

She didn’t want to find that cute or amusing. Six months ago, she wouldn’t have. Or, if she did, it would have been something she could easily roll her eyes at and forget about in seconds.

Now, she couldn’t make herself forget anything about Maya, and certainly not without effort.

Frustrated by that and just… so… wanting, she walked over the threshold into the apartment, reaching out and landing her hands firmly on Maya’s hips, as she kicked the door closed behind her.

Maya’s eyes widened, flicking from the door as it slammed shut, then to Autumn’s, both surprise and amusement alight in her expression. “My, my, it seems someone–”

She knew Maya was going to tease her about being impatient or eager or… whatever. And she leaned in, capturing Maya’s mouth in a kiss before the final part of her sentence could land.

She didn’t want to hear Maya teasing her, even if she was correct. Autumn was impatient and eager and whatever else. But she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to feel it.

What she wanted to feel right now was just this. Just… Maya.

Her hands were trembling slightly as she ran them up Maya’s sides, running her thumbs over the sides of her breasts, before firmly dragging them back down over the curve of her waist, her hips. She was greedy for it, for the physical sensation.

Their sex while they’d been on the phone wasn’t the same, it wasn’t a real substitute for this. It had been hot, and Autumn had… she’d needed it. She had. That was undeniable. She’d managed to hold herself back and away from Maya for days, and then she’d needed her. Because she’d touched herself, and touched herself, and strained to come. Fucking ached to come.

And it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t right.

Because it wasn’t the same as this was. Imagining Maya, looking at the past pictures Maya had sent her, it wasn’t the fucking same as feeling Maya straining against her, like this. Feeling the perfect curves of her body pressing desperately against Autumn’s own, the way her back arched into her.

It was the same as tasting her lips, feeling the soft sensation of them. Swallowing all of those unbridled sounds Maya gave her. Feeling them vibrate against her mouth until she felt like she was driven crazy from them.

She felt the shirt that had been in Maya’s hands fall to the ground, landing on one of her feet, as her hands trailing up Autumn’s back, before sliding into her hair. Maya had this way of combing her fingers into her hair and scratching at her scalp while Autumn had her hair up like she did right now – like she typically did – and the feeling of it always shot sparks through her entire fucking body.

She breathed out a quiet, needy sound into Maya’s mouth, feeling those sparks land right in her clit. Feeling herself pulse with it, like her entire body was coming to life.

Taking two quick, purposeful steps forward – walking Maya backwards as she did so – Maya’s back hit the wall with more force than she’d intended. She broke their kiss, huffing out a breathless laugh.

“I’m glad you understood my pizza delivery person joke,” she breathed out, dropping her head back against the wall.

Autumn was impatient, wasting no time in bringing her mouth to the soft, warm skin of Maya’s throat. Nipping her teeth right under her jaw, as she worked her leg between Maya’s thighs, firmly pressing up against her.

And she grinned, satisfaction thick and heady through her entire body when Maya groaned in response.

“Your porn reference wasn’t very subtle,” she breathed back, not taking the time to put even an inch between them, as she dragged her mouth down. Literally, dragged her lips down the side of her neck, just wanting to feel the sensation on her nerve-endings.

Her lips tingled with it, and she could feel Maya’s answering shiver.

It was perfect, she thought, half-crazed with desire already. Perfect, because she needed that. She needed the confirmation that Maya was just as gone as she was. That she was just as wanting as Autumn in this moment.

Maya slid her hands down from Autumn’s hair, scratching down her back over her shirt, before she reached down and yanked it out from where Autumn had it tucked into her pants.

Immediately, Autumn reached down and grabbed her wrists, pressing them against the wall before sliding them up and over Maya’s head. Keeping Maya completely pinned against the wall with her body.

Rocking her thigh rhythmically up between her legs, sucking and biting at her neck. Having memorized the places that would leave Maya trembling and gasping into her ear months ago.

Maya wearing thin, loose joggers – she couldn’t have planned it better herself. Because she could fucking feel her, how hot her pussy was, through the fabric, even though the thin material of her own pants.

She felt Maya flex her hands in her grasp, and she tightened her grip at the same time that she thrust up against Maya, then grinded down against her.

“Fuck,” Maya’s voice was already thready – rasping right into her ear, making her shudder. “I want to come,” Maya half-moaned, half-panted. “Autumn, please. Just – make me come.”

“I haven’t even touched you, yet,” Autumn shot back, keeping her tone even and firm, even as she felt the thrill of Maya’s words spark inside of her.

That was exactly right; Maya wanted to come, already. She was soaking wet for her, already. Her clit was hard and throbbing, aching to be touched, already. For Autumn.

It was fast – so fast – and only ten minutes ago, Maya had been folding her clothes, not even knowing Autumn would be here. But she felt the same physical need Autumn did, and she gave herself over to it, and it left Autumn starving for more.

“I know,” Maya panted back, dropping her head helplessly to her shoulder, her grunts and panting breaths hot against Autumn’s collarbone.

She released Maya’s wrists from her grasp, unwilling to give up the ability to actually touch her right now. Not after it had been nearly two fucking weeks since she’d been able to. And the last time she had, it had been clandestine and in the closet at work. She wasn’t able to really hear Maya, wouldn’t be able to see her properly, after.

She slipped her hands under Maya’s shirt so she could drag her nails, hard, down her sides. Imagining what it would look like when she got Maya naked for her. Which she would… after. She had a lot of ideas about tonight, because she’d been left to think about them for what had felt like an eternity over the holidays.

“God, Autumn, I–” Maya’s words cut off with a shaky breath, as she gripped Autumn’s hips even tighter in her hands, her hips rocking down against Autumn with a blistering intensity. “Y-you can’t ju-just come in here and make me feel like this and not…” She trailed off, shaking her head.

“Can’t I?” She murmured back, sliding her hand into Maya’s hair and gripped just enough to encourage her to look up.

The color was high in her cheeks, her eyes so dark. Her bottom lip was bruised from where Maya had obviously bit it, and the sight alone made Autumn want to bite there, too.

So, she did.

She leaned in, capturing Maya’s mouth with her own once more. Kissing her for a moment, but not getting distracted from what she wanted. What she craved. And she sucked Maya’s bottom lip between her own, sucking gently.

Before she dug her teeth in.

She could feel the way Maya’s hips jerked hard into hers, demanding and wanting, and she rolled her own hips right back, forcing her to be still.

Releasing her lip, she ran her tongue over the spot, soothing it, as she both heard and felt Maya’s soft, wanting moans.

She gripped Maya’s hips tightly, bruisingly, and controlled the tempo, allowing her to move again, but slowly. With intent.

“All I’m saying…” She started, rolling her own hips far enough back to let her wrist slide down under Maya’s waistband, then move between her legs. “Is that you were going to tease me for being eager to see you…”

No underwear. She hissed out a breath as she felt Maya’s wetness immediately on her fingers, having made a complete mess inside of her pants.

She easily found Maya’s clit, already throbbing with need, against Autumn’s fingertips. And she barely had to apply any pressure at all, before Maya let out a long, keening moan.

One that made Autumn’s own clit pulse in response.

It took her a moment to gather herself, to remain controlled enough to finish, “But you’re so needy from seeing me, that you’re basically ready to come through your clothing all over my thigh?”

“I’m awful like that,” Maya answered breathlessly, dropping her head back as she rocked down as much as she was able to against Autumn’s fingers.

She rubbed Maya’s clit hard over her fingers, trailing her lips to her ear. “Fuck yourself against my hand. Hard. Like you’re desperate to feel me.”

The movement from Maya’s hips was immediate and truly, really desperate. So was the way she grasped at Autumn, her hold so strong.

Even though she usually liked to delay Maya’s pleasure, even though she usually made her wait – or punished her if she didn’t – this fucking thrilled Autumn. On a deep, dark, visceral level.

She didn’t want her to wait.

Not for this orgasm.

She’d make Maya wait for the next one, and the one after that. When they made their way into her bed.

“Come for me. I want to feel you. I want to feel how much you’ve missed my touch,” she demanded, her voice thick as she traced her lips over Maya’s neck again.

There was something so primally appealing to her, so sensual, so sexy, to feel every hitched breath as it moved from her lungs before escaping from her lips.

And it didn’t take long. Not at all. Delightfully, not long at all.

Maya groaned, moving her hips even faster, harder her movements becoming jerkier with every passing second, and Autumn knew she was going to come at any second. She was greedy for it, herself.

And when it hit, she pressed herself tightly against Maya. Wanting to feel everything – every quake, every whimpered, panting breath – as she came.

She felt it all echo through her body, leaving her feeling just as rocked as Maya was by the intensity of her orgasm, even though she hadn’t come yet, herself. But this was – this was the way things should be. Being able to feel Maya like this.

When Maya shuddered the final time, before leaning heavily against her, Autumn gently slid her hand up, and cupped Maya’s hip, instead. A simple, grounding touch, as she rested her head against Maya’s, whose forehead was still pressed against her shoulder.

Autumn’s breathing was the same cadence as Maya’s – ragged and panting – and she was fucking aching to be touched. To come.

If this had happened months ago, she would have kept Maya pressed against the wall, just enjoying the simple proximity, as she slipped her hand into her own pants and touched herself.

But that wasn’t what she wanted, now. That wasn’t going to cut it, this time. She knew because that was precisely how she’d been existing for two weeks, and it wasn’t the same as it used to be. It was no longer nearly as satiating.

No, what she needed was Maya. And –

She nearly fell forward as Maya slid down, and Autumn’s grounding, balancing hold disappeared. Wide-eyed and alarmed, she reached out and braced her hands on the wall, catching herself before she hit the surface face-first.

The blood was rushing in her ears, and Maya’s body wasn’t against hers anymore, because she’d slid right down the wall. Right to her knees, as she looked up and locked those dark eyes on Autumn’s.

And in a second, the confusion dashed away. Replaced with understanding, with hunger. A need so intense, it stole her breath – and then she choked on the inhale she managed to take in, as she watched Maya’s tongue trace slowly, deliberately over her bottom lip.

The blood was pulsing through her veins, she could feel herself fucking dripping and clenching, and it was all she could do to stare.

Watching, almost like it was an out-of-body experience with how out of her mind with desire she felt.

Watching as Maya brought her hands up to quickly tug down Autumn’s pants and underwear, her movements still a little shaky from her own orgasm.

She gasped as the cool air of the apartment hit her bare, hot, pussy, her hands tightening into fists against the wall.

And then Maya waited. Sitting back on her haunches as she knelt between Autumns legs and the wall, staring up at her with dark eyes and plush lips, slightly parted.

“Put your mouth on me,” she rasped, keeping one of her hands on the wall – she was fucking sure that if she moved it, she would fall forward and gracelessly crush Maya, sending them both toppling – and brought the other hand down to fist into that dark, thick hair. “Now.”

Maya held her eye contact as she leaned in and angled her jaw, and Autumn’s breath caught and held in her throat –

Until a whimper broke free when she felt Maya’s tongue lick up her slit, before she dragged it slowly over Autumn’s throbbing clit.

“Maya,” she breathed out, tightening her hand in her hair just to feel her. Just to be close to her, just – just needing this.

She rolled her hips down against that perfect mouth, gasping when she felt Maya’s answering low, rasping moan against her. The vibration rocked through Autumn’s entire fucking nervous system.

She couldn’t… she dropped her head forward, her forehead landing against the wall next to her hand. She couldn’t do anything other than feel, because she felt everything.

And she was going to come, just like this. Her legs shaking, staring down into Maya’s eyes with her own, her name a chant on Autumn’s mouth, “Maya. Maya.”

Fuck, she was coming.

She felt Maya’s hands stroke lightly over her thighs, the touch gentle and soothing – the way Maya always touched her, in a way that had gripped something inside of Autumn since the first time they’d kissed and wouldn’t let go – and it only made the waves of her orgasm even more intense.

In the moments afterwards, she had just enough presence of mind to shift to the side to allow Maya to stand easily. She took another moment to come back down to earth, still feeling a little dazed, before turning to face Maya.

Maya, whose lips and chin were glistening from her, whose hair was a mess, cheeks flushed, and her eyes were bright and glinting. Her mouth curled into a smile, something sweet and entirely too… much.

Too knowing, too curious, too lovely.

Autumn knew what was coming next – Maya was going to say something, anything, most likely relating to Autumn showing up here unannounced and unasked, or the blazing need that had burned so uncontrollably.

It made everything inside of her turn inside out with anxiety, and… no. She didn’t want to talk about any of that.

Instead, she kicked her pants and underwear off, making a mental note to come back and grab them and fold them before they went to sleep, before she closed the gap between them and ducked her head, capturing Maya’s mouth with her own.  

***

The next morning, Autumn felt marginally more… normal.

The world felt like it was back on its proper axis.

She and Maya were, physically, as aligned as they’d ever been. The break in seeing one another hadn’t changed that.

And, as she’d laid in bed last night, wrung out and breathless from a second orgasm, she’d realized that that was precisely what she’d been stressed about in Maya’s absence.

That in the time they were spending apart, in the time that they wouldn’t be touching one another, Maya would look a little too closely at it all. What if, during the time in which their physical proximity wouldn’t be what kept them together, Maya started thinking… well, anything else.

But – nope.

Things were okay.

Things were the status quo.

She was standing in Maya’s bedroom, doing her hair as she looked in the large mirror over the dresser, as Maya was getting ready in the ensuite. They’d done this – get ready in tandem, not much conversation happening – many times, by now. It felt normal.

They were going to work. Where things would be normal.

Frankly, Autumn was ready for that. She was ready to go back to work.

“So… how was the rest of your holiday break?” Maya called from the bathroom, where she was leaning over the counter, presumably applying some mascara. From what Autumn knew of Maya’s morning routine, anyway. “Since we didn’t really have much time for conversation last night.”

There was a slight teasing to her voice, but Autumn tightly set her jaw at the question.

Because the answer was simple: it had been absolutely awful, just like her life always was this time of year. The reminder that she was completely alone.

Autumn frowned, deeply, before firmly doing the final twist in her hair and clipping it up. “It was fine,” she answered, her voice short. Not inviting follow-ups.

Christmas, much like Thanksgiving, was always fucking miserable.

She did her best – her absolute, very best – to mitigate how depressing Christmas was. She’d get out of the apartment and walk around beautifully decorated, vibrant neighborhoods, treat herself to some ridiculously expensive gourmet hot chocolate. She’d put on holiday movies and music, trying to drown out the echoes of silence.

And she did, objectively, enjoy some of those things. Sometimes, she was able to lose herself in them for various stretches of time.

In some ways, it was easier than Thanksgiving. Because Christmas had been filled with a lot of church activities in her youth, and she didn’t miss those. Her favorite parts of the holidays had always revolved around home activities, and she could do a lot of them, now. By herself.

Only… she was doing them by herself.

And she’d found that this year was worse than previous years. This year, somehow, managed to be her worst Christmas ever, and wasn’t that a kicker?

Because not only had she experienced her typical stifling loneliness during the holidays, she’d experienced the whole… missing-Maya-thing.

The sensation that made her throat feel tight and her stomach twist.

Autumn paused, frowning as her phone buzzed on the dresser in front of her.

Charlotte’s name popped up, and she wondered if there was some directive Charlotte was giving them to do before they had to be in office.

It wasn’t much time, she errantly thought, glancing at the top corner of her phone. Hamish – and his knowing, but silent stare – was supposed to be here pretty quickly. If they had to re-route, change plans before going to the office…

Her mind was already whirring a mile a minute, wondering where they could made adjustments in their first day back, before she opened the message.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to call in sick today. Should be a simple rescheduling for most things, let me know if there are any snags. I likely won’t be up for getting any work done at home today, but I’ll be available for emergencies.

Autumn, quite simple, gaped down at the message, the shock coursing through her veins, as the second message appeared.

And it was not the just kidding! she was hoping to see.

I hope you both had a relaxing time off from work.

What?!

Charlotte didn’t – that didn’t sound quite right, at all. None of it did.

She received an email immediately, as well, alerting her to the fact that Charlotte effectively would be out of office – which meant… her office was going offline today. Which meant, not only was she taking the day off, but Autumn and Maya had it off, as well. All protocol Charlotte had discussed with them when taking this job, but had never been put into action.

Because Charlotte didn’t take sick days!

This was not right.

This was, actually, all wrong.

Not only whatever was going on with Charlotte – because that was one thing, and she was certain she would circle around to that again, quickly.

But… but this threw Autumn’s carefully constructed and highly anticipated return to normal completely off.

And that made her feel so incredibly uncertain, her stomach twisting with it in revolt.

“Okay, but is this not the most convenient thing Charlotte has ever done?” Maya asked from behind her, excitement in her voice. She walked out from the bathroom, dropping down to her bed with a happy sigh.

“Just – one sec…” Maya trailed off, before finishing whatever she’d been typing out on her phone, before dropping her hands to her lap. “Already sent an email to shuffle Charlotte’s most important meeting today! I should win an award for the quickest response in the Capital. I’ll have all of my emails and rescheduling done in like twenty minutes.” She announced, triumphantly. “What about you? What’s your ETA, now?”

She blinked at Maya. Rather, at Maya’s reflection that she was watching in the mirror. “Um… what?”

Maya had refocused her attention back down at her phone, clearly doing what she said she would be – managing Charlotte’s now cancelled day – as she distractedly explained, “Your ETA? For having everything shuffled around for Charlotte? I’m mentally timing grabbing breakfast, since we’re both already up and about.”

She absently used one hand to gesture at the both of them, indeed both “up and about.”

A beautifully, terrifyingly excited smile sparked over her face as she glanced up at Autumn. “Oh! My favorite breakfast place is, like, a ten-minute walk away. We’ve never gone there because we’re normally going to work in the mornings, but it’s fucking incredible. Want to check it out?”

She stared back at Maya, wordlessly, who had ducked her head and had her thumbs flying over her phone screen. But there was that same smile on her lips, like she was envisioning this breakfast she’d suggested.

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, a little faster, a little harder, as she continued to stare.

At Maya, who was wearing her pants but no shirt, just a black bra. Because her shirt was the final thing she’d put on after her traces of makeup. Maya, who had completely paused getting ready upon Charlotte’s news of calling in sick, and was mentally restructuring their day, along with Charlotte’s.

Maya who was factoring Autumn into her daily plans. Literally right now.

And Autumn’s stomach churned.

There was a reason they’d never gone to that breakfast place, and it wasn’t just because of their work schedules. Yes, she spent nights here with Maya and she kept toiletries here. Yes, Autumn understood that in a typical situation, there could be… implications… that came with those things.

But Autumn also felt that she’d always been very clear about her intentions and the lines she’d drawn, here.

Having a cup of coffee with Maya in the morning and some easy conversation so that things didn’t feel awkward, that was one thing.

Going to a restaurant together after waking up in the same bed, while sitting across the table from Maya, who would be giving her looks…

That was not within the parameters of the boundaries Autumn had drawn. Especially not today, not after the intensity of last night. Not after she was still recovering from and finding her footing after the whole holiday break… situation.

“Um… I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she said, keeping her voice low, but firm, and she did exactly what Maya didn’t do – continue getting ready.

Which Maya clearly took note of.

Autumn watched her reflection in the mirror. Watched as Maya registered what she said and took a beat, before putting her phone down on the bed.

Watched as Maya’s eyes narrowed slightly. Not into a glare, but in thought. Watched as Maya blinked several times, staring at Autumn’s back.

“Why not?” She asked, tilting her head. “We have the day off from work, and we’re already half-dressed.” She ran her eyes down Autumn’s back, before teasingly amending, “Okay, so, you’re fully dressed. But, that makes even more sense.”

Autumn did not care for this. Not one bit. Not the hopeful tone in Maya’s voice or the way her stomach turned inside out on itself. None of it.

She looked down at the top of Maya’s dresser rather than at Maya herself. It was easier that way.

“I…” She trailed off, her throat feeling strangely thick.

“There’s no way you have other plans?” Maya pressed, half-jokingly. “We just got that message from Charlotte. What, are you and Hamish going out for covert breakfast meet-ups now?”

She wasn’t wrong – about Autumn not having other plans –  and that made her internal stress intensify. Why was Maya pushing this? Why couldn’t she just let Autumn continue getting ready as if she was going to go to work today, and leave it at that?

Because, she mentally swung back to the Charlotte of it all, she should be working today. At least, in some capacity.

The tone of those messages, Charlotte calling in sick!, let alone on the first day back from their break… it wasn’t normal. There was something very off, and Autumn latched onto that. It gave her something steady to hold onto – something that wasn’t emotional, something that was simply a fact.

Nodding to herself, she rolled her shoulders and looked back up to lock eyes with Maya in the mirror. “I’m going to see Charlotte, actually.”

Maya’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You… what? What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?” She returned, feeling more certain of herself the more she thought about it. “Charlotte sent a strange text–”

“She literally said she was sick and to take the day off,” Maya cut in, gesturing down at her phone. “It’s not like it was encoded.”

Autumn tossed her hand out in emphatic agreement. “Yes, exactly. When is the last time Charlotte has ever called in sick?”

Maya stared back at her, nonplussed. “Um… never, to my memory. Which is ridiculous, and – actually – antithetical to good health practices, I might add.”

Autumn set her jaw at that; it was fine.

“Be that as it may,” she grit out. “Charlotte never calls in sick. If she’s calling out the day after we just had weeks off, something is probably really wrong.”

Right? It had to be. It was the only thing that made sense. The only thing that made sense at all right now, actually. Autumn was anchored by it.

For several long beats, Maya blinked back at her, like she couldn’t process what Autumn was saying.

“Or,” she drawled, “Charlotte is doing what almost every typical person has done in their life – or at least wanted to do – and is deciding to call out and enjoy another day off from work.”

She reeled back at Maya’s simplicity. “Do you hear yourself? Charlotte doesn’t do that,” she insisted. “Something is clearly going on. If she’s sick as she claims she is, she’s probably on death’s door!”

And the more she thought about it, the more genuinely alarmed she was by that fact.

Charlotte didn’t call in sick! And she definitely didn’t ever blow off work to lounge around the house for the day!

Not the way Maya so clearly was ready to jump into doing with Autumn.

God.

“Okay…?” Maya dragged the word out. “So what, though?”

“What do you mean, so what?” It was far easier to let herself be insulted on Charlotte’s behalf than to go down any other train of thought. Than to dig into anything else between them. And, luckily for Autumn, it came naturally to her.

She whirled around, needing to actually face Maya so she could see how ridiculous she thought Maya was being.

“I mean, so what if Charlotte has something else going on? So what if she is really sick?” Maya explained with a shrug, her tone signifying that she thought Autumn was being ridiculous.

“She’s our boss.” Autumn was absolutely affronted on Charlotte’s behalf.

“Exactly,” Maya returned, as she pushed herself to stand and walked around the bed, so they were talking face-to-face, only a foot away from one another. She kept her voice low, holding eye contact with Autumn, as she emphasized, “She is our boss. And she is taking the day off, for whatever reason. She gave us the day off. That’s it, done.”

“Well, that’s not it,” she disagreed immediately, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because there is obviously something else going on. Or something’s wrong.”

“Even if that’s true, she didn’t ask for your help, Autumn!” Maya burst out, before she groaned and dropped her head into her hands for a few seconds.

Autumn reeled back from that, feeling the words cut deep. She… she had so much of her value tied up in how valuable she was to Charlotte, and she did take a lot of pride in how well she did her job. Pride in how Charlotte had told her that she was invaluable to her.

For so very long, this job and the weight of the approval from Charlotte was the only thing Autumn really had. The only thing that made her feel worth something. The thing that had given her purpose.

For Maya to impugn that in any way, even if it was unintentional, made her defenses flare.

“She didn’t text you and ask you for help. She didn’t text you and ask for you to bring her to the hospital or to send Hamish to her. She gave us the day off,” Maya kept her voice low and controlled, and there was a storm brewing behind dark eyes as she held Autumn’s gaze.

“If you knew Charlotte as well as I do, then you would know that Charlotte doesn’t ask for help when she needs it,” she bit back, haughtily. But she was freaking right, and she knew it.

“I’m not trying to live inside of Charlotte’s skin, so, no, I don’t know her as well as you do.” Maya very clearly was trying to keep her tone light and teasing – the way she normally did when she made comments like that. But Autumn could sense and hear the latent frustration underneath.

“Since you know everything, then, what would you have me do, today? When I could be doing something related to our careers – to Charlotte’s career. Something important. Hmm?” She asked sharply, rather than let this devolve any further.

Because Autumn found that, despite her defenses and the heated frustration that sailed through her veins, she didn’t want to argue with Maya. She didn’t want that, at all.

She just… she just wanted their status quo.

Today was supposed to be the day she’d been looking forward to for the last two weeks.

The day that everything fell back into the same pattern they’d built in the last couple of months. Maya was back, they’d be going to the office together, and the rhythm they’d built could be re-established.

Autumn had been looking forward to this with every fiber of her very being.

She didn’t want to argue with Maya over how she perceived Autumn to be obsessed with Charlotte. She couldn’t handle Maya taking her out to breakfast and changing their routine, either.

She was concerned about Charlotte and leaving Maya to go handle Charlotte’s business was what made sense. It just made the most sense, and that’s what she was going to do. And she just wanted Maya to get that and be on board with it.

Why was that so difficult?!

Maya dropped both of her hands to her sides, as she locked her eyes onto Autumn’s, her expression solemn. “I want to have breakfast with you,” she stated, quietly. “That’s what I’d have you do.”

That simple honesty stole Autumn’s breath right from her lungs, with the deep, imploring look Maya sent her.

She felt a little choked by it all, and she could hear how tight her own voice was just as much as she could feel it, as she murmured, “We don’t have breakfast like that. You can’t… I’m not the one trying to flip the script, Maya.”

Maya couldn’t just decide things were different between them and be upset when Autumn wanted their normal activities to continue. That wasn’t fair.

“We don’t have breakfast like that,” Maya echoed, her voice flat.

Autumn set her jaw, arching Maya a look. Because no, they didn’t, and Maya knew that very well.

She got a modicum of relief as Maya closed her eyes tightly, taking that searching, emotional, pleading dark gaze away.

“I don’t ask you for anything, Autumn. Beyond the confines of work, I never ask you for anything,” Maya’s voice was tremulous, before she swallowed, hard. And she re-opened her eyes, and the look in them made Autumn choke on the very air in the room.

“Last night, you came to my apartment without even knowing when I was coming home. You missed me,” she breathed the words out, and they were both questioning and certain, and Autumn’s heart fluttered before pounding, so hard, in her chest.

She opened her mouth to respond, even though she didn’t know if she would confirm that or deny it or anything in between. It was useless, anyway, because no words came out.

“I’m not asking for you to spend the entire day with me, even though I’d love that,” she confessed, and the raw, rasping honesty in her words needled at Autumn. “I’m asking for you to not run to Charlotte’s side when she’s given us the day off. If you believe that Charlotte is the brilliant and capable woman that we both know her to be, then you know – if she is really sick – she will handle it. We haven’t seen one another for two weeks and just spent the night having sex. Because you came here. Of your own volition. Of your own desire. And not just sexual desire, either.”

Autumn’s blood was rushing in her ears, and – could Maya just… just stop saying things like that?!

“So, I am asking you to stay here and not run away like we’ve done something illicit. Or like…” She trailed off, her voice low and sad and digging, achingly, into Autumn’s chest, “Like you’re unwilling to even spend a couple of hours with me if it’s not going to lead into us having sex, or pertaining to work. That is all I’m asking for.”

How dare Maya do this to her?

That was all she was asking for? All?

Her face felt hot and her blood rushed through her veins so quickly, it was all she could hear, and she felt like she was going to be sick.

And she hadn’t asked for this. In fact, she’d been very clear that this was not in her interpersonal vocabulary.

She’d forgotten that she was holding her phone until it buzzed in her hand, and she’d never been more grateful to see a text from Hamish.

HamishOutside of Maya’s place

She focused intently on those words. Hamish was here. The responsibility that Autumn had asked for was Charlotte. And that was what she tunneled in on, gripping it like a lifeline. She took in a long, deep, centering breath, mentally aligning her day, before she nodded to herself.

“I have to go; Hamish is outside.” She looked back up to lock eyes with Maya, arching her a look. “You should still go to that breakfast place; I’m sure it’ll be just as great on your day off without me. I…” She had to look away from Maya’s wide, searching gaze.

Away from the way her eyes seemed… devastated.

Autumn didn’t want that. Didn’t Maya get that? She didn’t want to devastate her; she’d been very clear about her wants.

She let out a long, deep breath, pushing through the trembling feeling in her chest. “I’ll talk to you later?”

Maya’s silence was all that met her ears, and she just – she just needed to go.

They needed a hard reset on today, to come back to this with fresh, unclouded thoughts, later. That’s what they needed right now.

It’s definitely what Autumn needed right now, and she nodded in Maya’s direction, before walking out of the bedroom.

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spoiler prevention

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