The Game Changer - chapter 12 (Patreon)

Somehow, the length of installments somehow gets away from me...

Who knows, if time permits, we might see a 12.5 later this month!

I really think, it's possible, that as I continue writing these two, they rise and rise in my ranks of characters I adore. They're really nearing the top of my own list!

----------The Game Changer---------

Chapter Twelve

Becoming friends with Abbie might have been one of the very last things on Rose’s bingo card.

Then again, this calendar year had brought on many things Rose could have never predicted in her life: her father’s death, returning to Elliston, coming out…

So, she supposed it seemed fitting in that sense.

It was a very new experience for her, not only because it was Abbie, but because Rose didn’t really have many friends. When she’d been younger, it had been a combination of both her personality – no, she didn’t want to be besties and giggle and talk about crushes, and yes, that did annoy her – and also that it was just easier, keeping people an arm’s length away. It made her feel safer. More in control.

She’d had Nathan, if she wanted to have any sort of meaningful connection. And she’d always had casual friends. In college, and then colleagues at work.

But being Abbie’s friend was different than the casual friendships she’d maintained in the past.

Abbie was not a casual friend.

Rose knew that, even just from her memories of Abbie. She was an involved friend. She was someone that would come over on a Saturday to hang out with Rose and her daughter, even if they didn’t have anything they needed to work on together.

She was someone that popped into Rose’s office throughout the last week during lunch, if Rose was available, and made herself comfortable in the chair across from the desk as they ate lunch.

And she was someone that made it all feel natural. Normal.

The first time she’d turned up in Rose’s office for lunch, she’d been taken by surprise. She’d wondered what the point of Abbie coming to seek her out was –

“Do you want to talk about strategies for the team?” She’d asked, eyeing Abbie from across the desk as Abbie unpacked her lunch.

Then looked at her even more suspiciously as Abbie arranged the food she unpacked over the free space in the middle of Rose’s desk. “It’s for the both of us. If you want some,” Abbie stated, easily, in explanation. She grabbed half of a sandwich and leaned back in her chair, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing them at the ankle before she shrugged. “We can talk about the team if you want. Or we can do that later, at practice. Whatever.”

Rose blinked at her, frozen to the spot still. “All right,” she slowly said, arching a look across the desk. “So… what are you doing here, now?”

Abbie’s eyes lit up in a smile, and she held up a finger to gesture for Rose to wait a second as she finished chewing. “I helped put Cassie to bed a few days ago. We’ve had multiple heart to hearts,” Abbie said, as if Rose didn’t know that. “We’re friends. And friends who work in the same place usually have lunch together…”

She trailed off, looking expectantly at Rose. Like she was waiting for Rose to give the final say if she could actually stay for lunch or not.

And despite the fact that Rose had never sat down with colleagues to have unplanned one-on-one lunches without anything to discuss, she didn’t want Abbie to go. She reached out and took the other half of Abbie’s sandwich in silent confirmation, even as she shot back, “Can you remind me: how many times have you worked in an environment in which colleagues have a lunch hour like this?”

They locked eyes as Rose took a triumphant bite of her sandwich, because they obviously both knew the answer to that.

Abbie rolled her eyes back. “Oh, whatever. I know what’s normal and what’s not, in a social setting. We can take a poll if you feel the need.”

“I don’t. I was just making a point.”

Throughout the last week, they’d gotten to the point where Abbie had texted her on Friday to ask what variety of “lunch sides” Rose would prefer.

So. Yeah. Her life looked so very different now than she ever could have imagined.

The thought echoed through her mind right now, as she looked around Abbie’s large back yard, which was in the final stages of preparation for the party Abbie had planned just last week.

It was very apparent to her that Abbie getting Rose’s input on this party when she’d arrived at Rose’s house last week was a cover. Well, she’d obviously known that last week when Abbie had shown up, but – clearly, with everything she’d managed to pull off here – she hadn’t needed her help.

She eyed the amount of food and drinks being set up on the patio as Abbie made her way over to her, that bright smile – the one that always, without fail, made Rose’s heart stutter in her chest – taking over her expression.

“Just in time,” Abbie said, as she drew up to her.

Rose arched her a dubious look, double-checking her watch. “If by that you mean fifteen minutes early, then – yes.”

And she would have been here earlier, but Abbie had waved off her offers to help set up. It was a party for the team and Rose was on the coaching staff – and, fine, she couldn’t think of many other ways she’d like to spend a Saturday morning, given that she didn’t have Cassie, than with Abbie.

She thought, perhaps, if she was Abbie, she’d probably have just shown up. If she reversed their roles in her mind, Abbie would absolutely come to a team or work-related event early without second-guessing herself. Hell, she’d shown up on Rose’s doorstep without notice, and that told her everything, even if she didn’t know, fundamentally, who Abbie was.

But she wasn’t Abbie. And she didn’t have that innate comfort and ease. So, she’d waited until it was an appropriate time to arrive.

“Anywhere between ten and twenty minutes early is when I would expect you to arrive anywhere if you have enough time, so, yeah,” Abbie said back, her grin growing wider, and a little teasing.

Rose pursed her lips to stop herself from smiling at just how well Abbie knew her, fundamentally. Especially now that there were no secrets. No mysteries from the past floating between them.

All of the pieces of Rose, even the ones she’d kept only to herself, had been laid bare to Abbie over the last month. If she let herself linger on that, internally, it would cause her to overthink, so she didn’t. But it still made her feel a little anxious, a little nervous.

But Abbie had accepted all of those pieces – accepted her.

She hadn’t made Rose feel judged or uncomfortable; she’d made everything Rose had shared with her seem… okay. Like she was allowed to share and the world wouldn’t end. Maybe, on some level, she knew that would have always been Abbie’s response. Acceptance and understanding.

Maybe that was also a big part of the reason she’d never dared believe talking to Abbie was an option, back in the past.

Unless Rose was in this exact place in her life, one where she was finally able to be herself, being on the receiving end of Abbie’s warmth would have been… trouble.

She felt her cheeks heat, her breath catching in her throat, as Abbie ran her eyes over her body, slowly. Everything inside of her tingled, feeling like she was caught on fire.

“You do know that this is a casual thing, right?” Abbie asked, her voice low, as she dragged her eyes back up, locking with Rose’s.

Her cheeks were flushed as well, but she had a light, teasing glint in her eyes.

Rose shook out her hands to rid them of that tingling feeling, acting like she’d just been putting them in her pockets, as she huffed out a breath. “Even if it’s a casual event, I’m still the headmaster of the school. If we’re at a social event with students or parents or alumni, I’m representing the school and my position.”

The words were second nature as they left her mouth, and they were the truth. She’d planned her outfit with both things in mind – who she was and what she represented, with the idea of “fun and casual” – resulting in the short-sleeved, red floral dress, that was well-fitted but not revealing over her breasts and waist, before the light fabric flowed from her hips. Very suitable for an off-campus, non-black-tie event. But an event where she was Rose Elliston.

She had done a very good job of keeping her focus on Abbie’s face… until now. Now that Abbie had brought their outfits into the conversation.

Abbie had definitely leaned much more into the casual part, but not as casual as she typically was on the field. She wore high-waisted light khakis and dark blue boat shoes – but what kept drawing Rose’s eyes like a fucking magnet was the obviously deliberately oversized long-sleeved button-up. One that hung stylishly loose and wide over her collarbones, the sleeves hurriedly rolled to the elbow, and it wasn’t buttoned properly. Instead, both sides were tied in a knot just above the hem of Abbie’s pants, just above her bellybutton.

No, it wasn’t inappropriate. It wasn’t actually revealing, because above that knot that held the shirt together, there were two buttons done up over her breasts.

Not inappropriate at all. Technically.

Except for the thoughts in Rose’s mind, of course. Damningly. Rose’s mind, that focused on the expanse of smooth, tanned skin of Abbie’s chest, and could so clearly picture the cleavage that was just hidden.

She felt her heart flip-flop in her chest, heat darting through her body, and she very deliberately looked away from her, glancing around the yard at the fairly sizable setup.

“So… exactly how many people are you expecting?” She asked, eyeing the copious amount of food and beverages.

Abbie looked around, as well, following her gaze. “Hmm. About a hundred. Or so.”

“A hundred?” Rose echoed, grateful to be able to latch onto that, as she swung her gaze back to Abbie, incredulously. “How in the hell did you net out at a headcount of a hundred?”

When they’d talked about the general plans for this party, the plan had been for about fifty or sixty people! Maybe she should have checked in on this party throughout the week in more detail.

“Well, you know, I’ve invited both varsity and JV, so that’s forty-eight people right there. Then their parents were invited, too–”

“And considering how many of their parents don’t live locally, that should cut down on a lot.” Rose would know; the majority of people that attended Elliston were residents, and the large majority of residents didn’t have parents that lived in Boston.

And she also knew that many of their parents wouldn’t see this party as something they “needed” to attend. Whenever they’d done anything for their team, Rose’s parents, who did live locally, didn’t even attend. Her father would sometimes walk in to make his presence known, for about five minutes, and only because he was the headmaster.

Truth be told, Rose was very grateful her parents didn’t come to any team events, but the point remained.

Abbie accepted that with a nod. “Yep, I took that into account. But, for people that do live locally, their families are invited, as well. People’s siblings and whatnot, those numbers put us at about seventy people. And then there was an open call to interested alumni that I sent out earlier in the week, to Board members–”

Rose set her jaw, her stomach clenching. “Please tell me they didn’t take you up on that offer.”

The very last thing she wanted to do today was spend any time being cornered by them. She spent enough of her week figuring out how to juggle everything; it was the last thing she wanted to do on her weekend.

“Most didn’t,” Abbie assured her. “None of the shitty ones, anyway. Ms. Belanger is going to be stopping by, though. And then it was also sent out to the PTA…” She shrugged. “So, from the numbers I got back, it’ll be about a hundred people all in all.”

She pursed her lips, exasperatedly amused. “You would be so calm and casual about the fact that a hundred people are about to be descending on your home.”

It wasn’t like Rose was a stranger to large parties or events – especially given the ones her parents had hosted in her youth – but easy-going and relaxed had never been the vibe of those events.

Abbie frowned in consideration, looking around. “I mean, the yard is large enough. Everything’s been set up.”

“You’re insane,” she drawled. “We didn’t have Coach Dru do anything like this, and we were national champions.”

“Exactly, we didn’t need to build up morale,” Abbie countered, like duh. “Our girls need a little… boost. Besides, it’s just a social gathering; no big deal.”

She ran her eyes over Abbie’s face, over her carefree expression. No big deal. Because Abbie was just going to effortlessly float around from group to group and chat and it would all be so easy to her.

Rose could imagine how she’d feel about that back in high school, about Abbie’s easy, open personality, that made her so approachable. About how Abbie had no problem engaging with anyone, being genuinely kind and interested in them. God, it had burned her up inside. Jealousy – both of Abbie for everything being so fucking easy, and of the people who got to receive Abbie’s interest and attention without feeling twisted up about it inside – and resentment abound.

Right now, though, she felt a little charmed, by these parts of Abbie. She couldn’t even summon envy for the fact that Abbie saw an event like this as “no big deal” because she was happy for Abbie, that… that she’d gotten to this point in her life and still had that openness.

“Wow,” Nathan’s voice sounded from behind her. “I didn’t know this shindig was going to be so big.”

She wheeled around, feeling the alarm bells in her mind going off unreasonably loud. She’d been the one to make the arrangement that Nathan come drop Cassie off here with her, rather than at her own home. But she hadn’t known he’d be here so early.

And she also hadn’t known he would walk up on her while she’d been talking to Abbie. It was still very, very difficult for her to mentally combine Nathan and Abbie’s respective presences.

“Hi, mom!” Cassie chirped, beaming up at her, before switching to look at Abbie. “I weared my shirt! Cuz I’m a coach.”

Rose’s lips pulled into an immediate smile at how Nathan had, indeed, dressed her – in the “coach” regalia that Abbie had given her.

Cassie had, to Rose’s completely non-existent surprise – taken to running around on the sidelines like a duck to water. And, very sweetly, the girls on the team took to her right back.

“That’s what I’m talking about. Walking into the party with style,” Abbie bent down to offer her hand to Casse in a high-five, which Cassie slapped her own against with gusto.

Only for her daughter to frown up at Abbie, her hands falling to her hips. “Why aren’t you wearing your coach shirt?” Cassie demanded.

Abbie lifted her eyebrows at the reproachful tone – Rose and Nathan exchanged amused looks – before she glanced down at herself. “That’s a great point.”

Cassie nodded, firmly. “Are you gonna change, then?”

Both Rose and Nathan spoke at the same time, in their respective warning voices, “Cassie.”

At the same time, Abbie said, “Why not?”

Their daughter looked up, glancing between both of them. “What?”

“You aren’t in charge of what other people wear,” Nathan informed her.

Rose looked at Abbie, determinedly not looking at anything other than her face. Not at the outfit her daughter so eloquently requested Abbie change, that was for certain. “You absolutely do not need to change.”

“She said she would,” Cassie insisted, looking up at them like they were ridiculous.

Abbie glanced between all three of them, lingering on Rose, before she looked down at Cassie. “I think it’s a decent expectation for coaches to wear their shirts at the team party.”

“Oh, brother,” Rose muttered to herself, refusing to let her lips tick into any sort of smile at Abbie’s acquiescence to Cassie or how appealing it was to her.

Then again, maybe it was a good thing for Rose that Abbie change into a different outfit. So she wasn’t tempted to stare over at her, when they were expecting a hundred – or so – people to be milling around.

Before she disappeared, though, Abbie turned to ask Nathan, “Are you staying? For the party?”

Nathan looked between them. “Ah, I don’t want to crash. I figured I’d make sure Coach Cassie made it, and then head out.”

“You aren’t crashing,” Abbie assured him, genuinely. “You’re Elliston alumnus. Totally welcome here.”

“You sure? I totally get that there are spaces not meant for me. And, really, I think it’s great you two are working together – or, are friends…?” He swung his gaze between them, before shrugging, giving that signature crooked smile as he focused on Rose. “I think it’s awesome that you have someone to talk to about women that isn’t me, you know?”

Rose felt her expression darken, setting her jaw tightly as she stared at him, sharply. Because what the fuck was he talking about. More aptly, why was he talking about it? Here? Now?

Nathan, unsurprisingly, missed her expression by a mile. “Having a community around you that’s actually queer – can I say that? – is great, and you came back to Elliston at the perfect time,” he said to Abbie, warmly.

“It is good to have a community…” Abbie said, her voice low and thoughtful. Her gaze was trained on Rose’s face, those blue eyes slightly narrowed in thought.

Her stomach swooped low, because she had no idea what kind of thoughts they might be.

Rose tightly pursed her lips in response, quelling that feeling. “Didn’t you need to go change, coach?”

“Yeah! Come on!” Cassie urged.

Abbie nodded, but it was slow. Like half of her attention was still on whatever thought was rolling around in her mind. “Mhmm…”

She blinked, re-focusing on Rose with a look in her eyes that made her stomach clench, full of suspicion. But she didn’t say anything to Rose, looking down at Cassie, instead. “You want to come with? Pick out which coaching outfit I should wear?”

“Yep,” Cassie firmly answered, already walking toward the house like she lived there, rather than the reality of the fact that she’d only ever been here once.

“We’ll be back!” Abbie called to both Rose and Nathan over her shoulder.

Rose wasted no time in turning to arch Nathan a look. “Why are you talking about queer community?”

“Was that a secret?” Nathan asked, obviously confused. “I thought it was really a great thing to have Abbie around, so you can have… I don’t know? Other lesbians in your life?”

The best and worst thing about Nathan was that his earnestness made it very difficult to ever really be annoyed at him.

“I… guess,” she muttered, before she folded her arms over her chest.

It made her feel – odd. Uncomfortable. Which, in turn, made her feel guarded.

Nathan looked at her, questioningly. “Well – do you?”

“Do I…?” She trailed off, reminding him to finish his thought.

“You know, hang out with other gay people? I just kind of thought – you told me when everything–” He cut himself off to make an explosion sound, using his hands to visually represent a bomb going off. “Went down, between us, that you needed to live your life, as your real self. As a lesbian. And so, maybe you have, and you haven’t told me about it. Which, I understand, if that’s the case. Could be weird. I hope it’s not,” he quickly added, giving her a sweetly encouraging look, as he lifted his hand to his chest and informed her, “It’s not weird, for me.”

“Yes, this is the definition of not weird,” she wryly stated, but couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming sense of appreciation and affection for him. She drew a hand through her hair, before blowing out a breath. “I don’t, for the record. Have a secret queer social life.”

It still felt strange, saying things like lesbian and queer aloud in relation to herself, especially to Nathan. But it felt more normal now than it had six months ago, and she had to believe it would continue to feel more normal as time went on.

“And I wouldn’t feel like I have to hide it from you,” she added on, needing to affirm that to him. “I’d tell you.”

Rose wasn’t someone who felt the need to heap platitudes and Nathan knew her well enough to know that I would tell you meant: you are still my best friend.

The smile that slid across his face said as much.

***

An hour later, when the party was in full-swing, Rose busied herself on the sidelines. Keeping an watchful eye on the food and drink tables, making polite but short conversation whenever necessary.

The thing about parties – Rose, as a rule, didn’t love them.

She wasn’t not going to come to this one, as a co-coach of the team it would be a terrible look, and she didn’t want the girls to get the idea that she didn’t support them. And she, objectively, thought it was a good idea.

The girls seemed to be having a great time, hanging out together while off-campus. Being celebrated and amped up.

And Abbie… though they were outside and there were no walls, she was the definition of working the room. It was impressive. Being on the sidelines gave Rose the ability to take note of that.

“You know, there is a caterer milling around, whose sole purpose is to monitor these tables,” someone said from behind her, amusement clear in her tone.

Rose froze, her crossed arms tightening over her chest, as she slowly turned to face Abbie’s parents. Her stomach tightened slightly with nerves.

She wasn’t scared of them – she’d dealt with truly awful people for most of her life in the form of her own parents, and Abbie’s mothers were essentially the opposite of that – but their presence loomed large for her. They weren’t like her or Nathan’s parents in any way, which put them in a category all of their own. They were the first queer people she’d really known in her life, though she hadn’t known them well. They meant the world to Abbie.

For those reasons alone, she felt a little on edge around them.

And that didn’t even factor in that she’d caught them both giving her measuring looks in the distance at their last couple of games. That was the biggest piece here that made her uneasy.

Still, Rose rolled her shoulders back. Whatever they might think about her or know about her, she’d absolutely faced worse.

“Ah, yes. I know that,” she acknowledged.

“You can feel free to go and chat, like Abbie. If you want to,” Hannah added, with a slight nod into the crowd of people.

Rose managed to bite back the grimace that wanted to take over her face, for the most part. She felt herself frown in response, the slightest bit, but that couldn’t be helped.

“I’m all set,” she responded, politely but firmly. “I’m not much of a schmoozer.”

She could schmooze, if utterly necessary. She was technically capable of it.

But she hated it.

She’d never been an upbeat, chatty person, who liked to approach people with a smile and start a conversation. It didn’t make her nervous to do it; she just didn’t like it. It felt so fake.

And Rose had experienced enough of being inauthentic for multiple lifetimes.

So, she’d rather not, unless it was a requirement.

Caroline reached out to the table and picked up one of the sugar cookies from a plate. “Ah, I get it. I’m not, either.”

Hannah nudged her with an elbow, smiling down at her with a soft, exasperated grin. An easy, loving look that made it nearly impossible for her to look away, captivating her. “You are a world-class schmoozer, Caroline Parker.”

Caroline’s own smile bloomed over her face, and… no, she wasn’t Abbie’s biological parent. The resemblance between Hannah and Abbie was very present, even beyond the blonde hair. But the resemblance in the way Caroline’s smile slid into place was so similar to Abbie’s, it made her breath hitch.

Not necessarily in the looks – Caroline had a dimple next to her mouth, and the shape of their lips were different – but in the emotional expressed in it. In the obvious confidence combined with genuine humility.

Abbie’s exceptional talent had never been the thing that appealed to Rose. It was the strength of her character that had always kept Rose hooked. And in this moment, she could see that, in Caroline.

“Yes, I can schmooze with the best of them,” Caroline said. “But I don’t love to do it.”

Caroline and Hannah shared a look, something that made Rose feel both incredibly warm inside and also incredibly envious – because it was so clear that whatever these two women shared was so deep, and Rose… she’d never shared that with someone. Not even close. She wasn’t even quite sure all that went into feeling that way and having it reciprocated back like that.

Then, they turned to look at her, and that warmth faded to the background. It wasn’t gone entirely; they weren’t cold toward her. But they were… something else. Rose couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it made her hackles rise slightly.

“I see that your husband is here?” Caroline asked, gesturing over Rose’s shoulder to where Nathan was, undoubtedly, following behind Cassie.

He’d taken on that mantle with excitement, as he loved to work a party and chat with as many people as possible.

Still feeling that cautious, she took a beat and debated how to respond, before simply stating, “We’re no longer together.”

So, Abbie hadn’t shared that much with her moms. Rose didn’t know how, exactly, to feel about that. On one hand, it was a positive thing – Abbie respected that Rose was obviously a private person. On the other hand, Abbie shared most big things with her parents. So, in a way that made Rose’s stomach sink slightly, her marital status wasn’t of much relevance.

She didn’t miss the quick look Caroline and Hannah exchanged, even if it only lasted for a second.

“Well, he seems very kind. Very involved,” Hannah said, her voice soft, thoughtful. And it didn’t sound like she was just complimenting Nathan for the sake of it.

She sounded like she was offering Rose the opportunity to either agree or disagree? Like she was opening the door to a conversation.

Which, she supposed, made sense. Given that she knew that Hannah’s ex-husband, Abbie’s father, was a dirtbag.

But it was a conversation Rose didn’t need to have.

She felt defensive over Nathan, even as she could recognize Hannah’s comment was a kindness, was her opening a door for Rose if she needed it. “He is very kind, and very involved. Cassie couldn’t have a better father.”

And no matter what reservations Rose had ever had about herself as a mother, Nathan as a father had never been something she’d worried about. It had been a comfort during some of the panic she’d had while pregnant.

Caroline dragged her attention again as she hummed, thoughtfully, under her breath. Her tone was light and engaging, as she asked, “If not him, did you bring a partner here today? It’s really occurred to me – to both of us – that you’re Ab’s friend?” She slowly arched an eyebrow at Rose. “And her colleague, and you’ve known one another for so long, but we don’t know you super well.”

It really sounded, on the surface, like she was making friendly conversation. But from the very shrewd look in her dark eyes, Rose found that she was not experiencing a friendly conversation.

This was Abbie’s mother that was a successful lawyer, and it all made sense.

“No,” she answered, measuredly, staring back at Caroline. “I didn’t bring a partner.” She rolled her lips, wondering how much to say, what was relevant to say. How she felt about that considering, measuring look. “I don’t have one, presently.”

She had nothing to hide; there was no reason she should be under scrutiny at all. Unless –

“Hey!” Abbie called out as she approached them. “What’s going on over here? I felt like I was missing out on something fun.”

“You weren’t,” Rose answered, turning to look at Abbie. Trying to gauge what Abbie might possibly think they were chatting about.

“We’re just getting to know Rose a bit more,” Hannah assured, in that soft voice that Rose found far more soothing than Caroline’s friendly-yet-probing one.

“Okay…?” Abbie trailed off, looking between them. “Well, if you two don’t mind, I’m going to steal Rose for a minute.”

“Absolutely, Abbacado,” Caroline responded, shooting her a wink with a small smile. Nothing but complete warmth on her face, now.

As soon as they’d walked a few feet away, Rose stared at Abbie intently as she asked, “Did you tell your parents about the fact that we’ve slept together?”

She made sure to keep her voice to a hushed whisper.

Abbie’s expression was guileless and surprised as she blinked back at Rose. “Yes?”

Well, that explained things, didn’t it? Exasperated, Rose huffed out a sharp breath.

Defensively, Abbie held her hands up. “I only told them a couple of weeks ago!”

And she was even more exasperated! “That’s actually worse than if you’d told them eight years ago!” Christ.

“How?!” Abbie demanded, incredulous laughter falling from her lips.

“Because it’s now fresh in their minds, even though it happened almost a decade ago,” she hissed back, because obviously.

Now, the looks she’d received from across the field made a lot more sense. Because now, Abbie’s parents knew that Rose not only desperately desired their daughter, but had also had sex with her. And had then very quickly then gotten married to a man.

“I didn’t tell them before because you weren’t really relevant in my life. But now… you are. So, once you became relevant in my life, it made sense to tell them about you,” Abbie said, and her tone was both matter-of-fact and so imploring. Even more so, when she finished with, “You’ve become an important person in my life, so… our history seemed worth talking about.”

Rose’s heart flip-flopped in her chest as she looked up and Abbie, and… fuck. How was she supposed to be frustrated by her, now? Now that Rose was an important person in Abbie’s life.

She found herself robbed of any true ire or irritation, shaking her head at Abbie as she felt that rush of warmth through her veins. She was important to Abbie.

Biting at her lip, she managed to bring herself back to the point. “Did you come over just to rescue me from your parents?”

“What? I didn’t know you needed to be rescued. Did you?” Abbie asked, frowning as she glanced over her shoulder in search of her parents. “What were they saying?”

“No, I didn’t need to be rescued. They were fine.”

Because they hadn’t said or done anything to make her uncomfortable. It was the fact that Rose knew how… complicated… her history and her feelings were for Abbie that made everything feel – nerve-wracking.

“So, what’s going on, then?” If Abbie hadn’t come over for that reason, why had she needed to “steal” Rose? As if Rose needed to be “stolen” by her… she bit back a scoff.

“Oh – well, I arranged a little sapphic get-together tonight,” Abbie informed her, excitement leeching into her voice.

Rose narrowed her eyes in immediate suspicion. “A what?”

“You know. Just me and a couple of other sapphic women, hanging out. Casual night in. And I was thought… maybe you’d want to join?” Abbie’s eyes searched hers, bright and hopeful.

And Rose rolled her lips tightly, guardedly. “Is this because of what Nathan said? About my not being part of a queer community?”

“You think I orchestrated a last-minute hang out because of your almost ex-husband making an off-handed comment about you not having spent much time around queer people?” Abbie scoffed, exaggeratedly.

Rose arched her eyebrow higher, not giving an inch.

Abbie easily gave in, aiming a sheepish smile at her. “Yes, I did.”

God, why did Abbie have to be like this? So – fucking – sweet. Rose rolled her eyes even as she felt her stomach flutter, both ridiculously pleased and also, weirdly, self-conscious. “I don’t need you to do that.”

“I know you don’t. I’m not doing anything for you, necessarily. I’m inviting you to hang out for a couple of hours. As it happens, the same night I’m inviting some other queer women over to hang out. It’s casual. Fun.”

“How many friends do you even have, Lemon?”

Abbie’s mouth fell open in offense. “Excuse you?! I’ve never had a shortage of friends, thank you very much. You must be thinking about yourself.”

All Rose could do was breathe out a laugh. Fine. Fair. Ugh, why did she love when Abbie gave her that attitude right back so much?

Shaking her head, she cut right to the point – “Well, if it is on my behalf, you can cancel it. I have Cassie tonight.”

“What would you say if I told you that I know your custody schedule, and I brought up the idea to Nathan before making any arrangements because… well, what would be the point otherwise? And if, hypothetically, he very enthusiastically told me that he would be happy to have Cassie for another night?”

Rose wanted to be annoyed with Abbie. She really, really did. It was an automatic response for her, to fall back into something acerbic and irate.

But she found that she couldn’t be. Couldn’t summon those feelings at all.

Because Abbie was so fucking thoughtful. The most heady combination of cheeky and sweet, something Rose had never known was her weakness until Abbie, herself, had shown her.

Abbie then frowned, slightly. “I’m not trying to butt in where I don’t belong,” she swore. “I told Nathan nothing was a done deal, and obviously, you have to decide if you want to hang out tonight or not. But… it’s an option. If you want it. I’ll be here with a couple of people.”

Rose would, actually, prefer if it was just Abbie; groups had never been her thing. But she definitely wasn’t about to say that. Especially not when she was still also trying to work out… if her aversion to group hang-outs were a holdover from feeling so terrified of being herself? Of being seen?

Consideringly, she bit at her inner-cheek. “Are the sapphic women including your moms?”

Because she certainly wasn’t sure she was up for spending much time with the married Parkers and their astute, watchful stares, and probing questions.

“Uh, actually, no. I mean, any other night, they might have been included,” Abbie added, honestly. As someone who clearly enjoyed spending time with her parents. “But – did you know they actually know Gianna and Riley Beckett? They’ve met them in the past.”

“A lesbian collective,” Rose dryly responded. Was there some sort of community element she’d never understood because she’d never been a part of it?

Abbie laughed again, that intoxicating sound. “Yeah. So, before the Beckett family had to skedaddle out of here, they apparently made plans tonight with my moms. Thus, the house will belong to the youth.”

Rose had been glad that the Becketts had only made a quick stop-in appearance. Given the last-minute planning of the party and the fact that both of Anya’s parents were successful, busy women who didn’t work in traditional nine-to-fives, she wasn’t surprised.

“And… we’re the youth?” She echoed.

“Obviously.”

“You have, fairly recently, referred to me as Old Rose,” she reminded Abbie, knowing that she was staving off actually answering Abbie’s invitation. Trying to work out how she felt about it all.

Spending a night hanging out with not only Abbie, but other “youthful queer women.” It didn’t sound incredibly appealing to her.

But also, uncomfortably, it did.

Typically in her life, she’d turn away from that uncomfortable feeling. But… Nathan had been right earlier. She was literally divorcing her best friend, had bought a new house, threw her daughter’s life into a completely new reality, because she’d needed, in the bottom of her soul, to live as herself.

And she hadn’t really been doing that, had she?

“Are you hanging out tonight, Old Rose?” Abbie prompted, softly. Imploringly.

“Yeah, Old Abbie,” she answered, huffing out an annoyed breath at herself.

This was nothing to be worked up over. If she didn’t want to stay, if it made her feel uncomfortable, she could leave.

And, as she stared up into Abbie’s excited expression, she had to also make peace with the fact that as long as Abbie was there, she likely wouldn’t be doing that.

***

By the time the guests had left and the expedient clean-up, with the help of the catering company Abbie had managed to procure last-minute, the sun was setting and Rose was following Abbie through the sliding glass door, into the kitchen.

As soon as she stepped foot into the house, the slight nerves she’d felt accompanying this “hangout” intensified, entirely prompted by the memories that hit her.

When she’d come by with Cassie several weeks ago, she hadn’t come inside the main house. And she hadn’t done so this afternoon, either.

But… being in here, she was hit with those memories from back in high school. From the night she’d stayed over because of the snowstorm. A night that had been so incredibly impactful for her, a night she’d never been able to forget for several reasons.

Abbie was obviously entirely unaware of the memories flipping through her mind as she lead Rose through the kitchen.

The interior of the house hadn’t really changed in the last twelve years. A few minor updates, maybe. But it still had that feeling, that warm, encompassing feeling. It was very clean, but had little splashes here and there of clutter.

It had been so unfamiliar to Rose, back in high school. Because there was no clutter in her parents’ house.

Abbie’s home with her mothers was decently large and very well-appointed, but it was lived in. A family lived here. People that lived life together, not sequestered away from one another, going through the motions of their own, completely separate lives.

It was something she’d thought of many times – the feeling this house had evoked inside of her – when she’d had Cassie. Because that was the kind of feeling she wanted Cassie to have.

No, actually. She wanted Cassie to have the same feeling Abbie had.

She glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. Abbie, completely relaxed and comfortable. There was no stress or tension here in this house.

Hell, Abbie had chosen to move back in with her parents – at least, temporarily – as a fully-grown adult who could absolutely afford to buy her own home.

Rose couldn’t fathom voluntarily spending any time with her parents. She’d only seen them feeling tied down by obligation and duty.

“They should be here any minute,” Abbie said, giving Rose a quick smile over her shoulder, completely oblivious to Rose’s inner-monologue. “And my moms already left, so you don’t have to worry about them knowing that we slept together almost ten years ago.”

There was a teasing edge to Abbie’s voice, and she was going to scoff back at it as they walked through the large, airy foyer on their way to the den. But it died in her throat as she felt the clearest, most intense sensation of déjà vu she’d ever experienced.

All she could think about was climbing up these stairs to the second floor the time that she’d stayed here in high school, and she ran her gaze over the wall lined with photos, until she landed on the picture that had completely rocked her teenage self.

The one of Caroline and Hannah when they’d gotten married. And how happy they looked. How they were glowing, and it completely translated through the photo how in love they were.

It was still in the same place, and she found herself coming to a stop instead of keeping in-step with Abbie.

It was just as striking now to her as it had been back then.

“Everything okay?” Abbie asked, having obviously realized Rose wasn’t with her anymore.

Rose let out a breath that was far more tremulous than she’d have liked, feeling strangely – stupidly – emotional. She blinked away from that photo, looking at Abbie.

“Yes.” But her throat and voice were a little scratchy. She cleared her throat, roughly. “It’s… I just remember when I came over here in high school, so vividly.”

The confession slipped out of her before she even realized it. That seemed normal, now, she guessed. Now that Abbie knew everything about her, it was harder to hold things back.

Even in the face of Abbie’s eyes widening in surprise, in confusion.

She just… she had no idea. She really didn’t.

“Abbie, being here… seeing this house – seeing your moms, your family–” She swallowed hard. “How loving you all were, and so open. And so successful, I – it went against everything I’d had reinforced about gay people. It kind of re-wired my brain chemistry a little bit.” She let out a dark, mirthless chuckle. “Not enough to deviate from the path I was on, clearly. But it meant something to me. Obviously, not something I was able to vocalize at the time.”

Definitely not when Abbie – of all people – had been standing right there, watching Rose as her world was rocked. Accusing her of being homophobic, of all things.

In fairness, she could understand why Abbie would have thought that, especially as an adult.

Before Rose could even process what was happening, Abbie stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

For the first few seconds, Rose stiffened.

It was her natural state of response, when being touched unexpectedly. The only person whose physical touch she never shied away from was Cassie, who’d literally been born from her body. And, even then, she liked that Cassie had never been a super physically clingy child. She liked some hugs and cuddles or being carried – to a point, and then she wanted to be independent.

Maybe that really was written into Rose’s DNA. So deeply ingrained into her from her parents, and their parents, and she’d passed it to Cassie. But Cassie, while being independent, was also comfortable with her and Nathan, and that mattered more than anything.

Here and now, in this moment, rather than pull away from the unexpected hug, though, she melted into it.

Melted into the embrace in a way she typically never did. Even when she’d hugged Nathan through the years, it was – different. The comfort and familiarity he offered her was different.

Had she ever been held like this? Yes, she was being hugged, but it was – it was…

It was Abbie. Unwaveringly supporting her, her warm breath washing over Rose’s temple and into her hair, in a way that made her shiver.

And the feeling she’d had when embracing Nathan could never feel quite the same. Abbie… she stood several inches taller than Rose and her body was so athletic and solid and strong, but she was also soft. She had breasts and hips and her blonde hair hung down at her shoulders, brushing against Rose’s cheek.

Her hands gently rubbed at Rose’s back, as she said softly, “I just… I never could have imagined what you were really thinking about, during all of those moments.”

Especially with her voice in Rose’s ear, Abbie was all encompassing. Like she’d been taken over by her.

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to,” she murmured back, honestly.

It had already been so hard, navigating her feelings on Abbie. She couldn’t possibly imagine what it would have felt like if Abbie had known everything. If Abbie had given her understanding, sympathetic, soft looks.

“If you’d tried to have hugged me like this in high school…” She trailed off, taking a deep inhale.

Breathing Abbie in, right there at her collarbone. She could smell the warm sunshine from the afternoon here on her skin.

“I feel like you would have shoved me. Really hard,” Abbie’s voice was still soft and light, somehow still comforting.

Rose huffed out a grudging laugh, accepting the reality of Abbie’s comment. “Yes. Probably very hard,” she acknowledged, feeling her heart beat solidly inside of her chest for a moment, before adding, derisively – but honestly – “And then I’d probably have kissed you. It would have all been very messy.”

She could feel Abbie’s breath catch in her chest. “Yeah, super messy.”

Rose hated messiness, especially emotionally. She always had. And yet, the idea of things being messy with Abbie appealed to her far too much. And always had.

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spoiler prevention

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any guesses who they will be hanging out with that night?