The Game Changer - 12.5 (Patreon)

Aaaand we're back!

I mentioned in the chat section yesterday, but the last week and a half has been a whirlwind of chaos (good kind, mostly), fulfilling a round of edits on my manuscript and then going to P-Town for women's week, which was a blast.

I feel more social and ready to chat in a group of authors, narrators, and readers than I ever have with anyone else in my life. Wild how that happens.

Alas!

We make a return to Abbie and Rose to really get us ready for November...

----------The Game Changer---------

It was, logically, a good thing that the front door opened when it did, interrupting this moment.

Mostly because, as Rose was becoming alarmingly aware, she wasn’t quite sure what, exactly, constituted as a “moment” between her and Abbie.

She was standing wrapped in Abbie’s embrace, bodies pressed together, having just admitted to the fact that if this had happened years ago, she would have kissed Abbie. She could feel everything.

But – what was this, between them?

They were co-coaches, colleagues, friends, they shared an attraction for one another, and it would be a bad idea to do anything else. Which they’d both established.

Right?

Still, she didn’t know if she was more grateful or irritated when she heard a somewhat familiar voice – Norah’s voice, she placed after a beat – ring out, “Helloooo?” She sang out. “Anyone home?”

What she did know, was that she jerked back slightly. Almost feeling like she’d been caught. Technically, she knew she hadn’t been. That they hadn’t been doing anything to prompt this feeling. But… embracing like that felt vulnerable, to her.

And there was no way she wanted Norah to see that.

Abbie, unsurprisingly, reacted normally. Her cheeks were a little flushed, but she disengaged from the embrace and then stroked her hands down Rose’s elbows with a softness that made her throat feel tight.

Again, thank god she’d never given Abbie the opportunity to become closer to her when they’d been teenagers. Especially given Abbie’s affinity and ease with casual touches.

She could remember seeing it, back in high school. How effortlessly effusive Abbie was with physical touch with teammates and friends. Never Rose, which was precisely how Rose had wanted to keep it. Back then.

It was something she was processing in real time, now.

Abbie gave her a cute, small smile – reassuring – as she turned toward the entrance of the mudroom. “I love that you shout that out as if you’d care if you walked in here and no one was home.”

Norah appeared through the doorway, combing her hands through her wavy, dark hair. “Well, I care this specific evening because you requested my presence.”

Abbie rolled her eyes. “I asked if you were free to hang out for a few hours tonight. I figured it would be good for you, anyway, given how busy you’ve been this week at work.”

With a groan, Norah dropped her head back, dropping it against the doorway. “And it will continue to be a killer. On that note, I was also promised food and alcohol.”

Without lifting her head, she angled to arch an eyebrow up at Abbie.

Who shook her head, but there was a smile on her lips. “I’ll be right back.”

Abbie shot her that same smile, that reassuring one, as she walked by her, back toward the kitchen. Where, Rose knew, Abbie had stashed away a charcuterie platter. She’d strongly encouraged most of the attendees of the party earlier to take leftovers with them, and a lot of the girls from the team had. But before that, planning ahead for the evening, she’d reviewed everything they hadn’t put out yet, and kept back some select choices from the catering.

Norah pushed herself away from the doorway, eyeing Rose with interest. “And good evening to you, Headmaster Elliston.”

She tilted her head in acknowledgement. “Norah. Nice to see you.”

The thing was, Rose didn’t feel awkward in social situations, but she certainly had never chosen to partake in most of the hangouts or parties she’d been invited to. It always seemed easier, safer, better not to, and – frankly – Rose didn’t hate that.

But tonight was supposed to be a whole thing, wasn’t it? About “community,” as Nathan had stated, so astutely. And, beyond that, she didn’t really know Norah very well. It couldn’t hurt to make an effort to be friendly with Abbie’s cousin-slash-best friend.

“So,” she started, clearing her throat, “What case are you working on?”

Not only was talking about work always an easy go-to, especially for people that seemed very invested in their careers. But she was actually interested to know.

Norah’s eyes lit up – nailed it. “I can’t give big details, but–” She cut herself off when they both heard the front door open and close again. Norah glanced over her shoulder, just out of view for Rose. “Hey,” she greeted. “Didn’t realize you were coming over.”

Rose heard someone taking off their shoes, before Daniele appeared. She gave Norah a small smile, “I didn’t realize you’d be here, either.”

She dug her teeth into her inner-cheek. She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t actually asked Abbie about who was going to be at this “queer hangout” evening. That was a major oversight on her own end, like an idiot.

She probably should have anticipated Daniele; it was a last-minute sapphic get-together, and how many people did Abbie still maintain a friendship with in Boston, who were sapphic?

She couldn’t help but enjoy the way Daniele’s eyes widened in obvious shock when they landed on her. Rose, at the very least, wasn’t the most surprised person in the room.

“Daniele,” she greeted. “Such a pleasure to continue running into you.”

It was only a few weeks ago that she’d seen Daniele and Abbie. Just last month.

And since then, everything had changed. Shifted. So much.

“Rose! Wow, hi. Didn’t… know you’d be here tonight,” she commented slowly, as if trying to put pieces together.

Which shouldn’t please her, Rose knew that.

But it meant that, bare minimum, Abbie didn’t share everything about their interactions – their friendship – as gossip fodder or anything of the like. Not that Rose had thought she would, but… still.

Maybe it was insane, but she was happy – on a very basic, instinctive level – that she held a place on Abbie’s trust-tree, that was fairly high.

“I didn’t exactly know the guest list tonight, though I suppose it makes sense,” she allowed, before she turned her attention to Norah. Who was looking between Rose and Daniele with amusement. “Are you a lesbian?”

Norah stood up straight, pointing at herself with both thumbs. “Me? I’m bisexual. But also, what kind of question is that?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Well, this is supposedly a “sapphic hangout” so–”

“Wait. Are you confirmed sapphic?” Daniele cut in, arching her a look.

Rose’s thoughts came to a halt, and she slowly turned to aim a questioning look at Abbie, who had just walked back from the kitchen. In her hands was a large serving tray, loaded with several drink options, and the charcuterie platter.

Upon becoming the focus of everyone’s attention, Abbie came to a pause. “What? What did I miss?”

“That, apparently, this is a “sapphic hangout,”” Norah repeated, using air quotes, and continuing to look like she was having a great time.

Abbie bit her lip before sliding her gaze to Rose, understanding dawning over her expression. “I didn’t tell them it was a sapphic hangout. I didn’t know if you’d want that,” she explained, her tone both full of apology and self-defense.

Rose… couldn’t even really be upset, then, could she? Abbie hadn’t outed her; she’d outed herself.

“The cat is out of the bag now, isn’t it?” She dryly returned, working through that slightly squirmy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“The pussy sure is,” Norah commented, and Daniele snorted.

Rose angled her chin up, staring across the foyer at Daniele. “Yes, to answer your question. I’m a lesbian.”

She still felt that thing inside, buried deep in her gut. She’d been out for less than a year, and had shared that information with a handful of people – not because she was ashamed or scared, anymore, but because… it was a big thing. At work, it might have bigger consequences. And, honestly, she wasn’t that close to many people.

But saying it here and now, there was so much power in those words. It was freeing, wildly, in a way she would have never been able to predict, and she felt it thrum through her veins.

Declaring her sexuality in this home, to Daniele Garcia, of all people.

Someone who had known her back in school, but didn’t have all of the loaded… emotion… like Abbie did. Someone she’d envied so fucking deeply for being able to live her life so freely and openly. Someone Abbie had liked, had dated.

She didn’t know what she’d expected Daniele’s response to be, but it wasn’t the knowing grin curling up her lips, before she huffed out a laugh, and said, “Knew it.”

Rose cut her a narrow-eyed, confused stare.

Before she could say anything, though, Abbie pointedly cleared her throat. “Sooo, why don’t we go into the den? Before I drop everything on this super heavy tray.”

Daniele led the way, still smiling. Norah followed suit, even though she shot Abbie a dubious, laughing look. “If holding that tray is getting to be too much for you, I’m concerned you were never in as great of shape as you’ve always seemed.”

She winked, before reaching out and taking a carrot stick from one of the small serving bowls as she walked by.

Abbie gently nudged Rose’s shoulder with her own. “How are you feeling? Ready to flee?”

She rolled her eyes back at her. “I’m far from fragile enough to feel the need to run away from Daniele and Norah, of all people.”

Still, she took a moment before following into the den, gathering her bearings. Allowing herself to tentatively think that even with Daniele Garcia, of all people, and Abbie’s cousin Norah – with her knowing looks – maybe this could be a good thing.

Though, Rose was of the strong mindset that two people being queer didn’t mean they actually had anything in common.

Abbie gently nudged her with her elbow. “You don’t have to act like this isn’t – in some ways – a big deal, you know.”

Rose pursed her lips, tightly. “It–” She cut herself off, managing to bite back her adamant denial; she didn’t want to lie, either to herself or to Abbie. “It shouldn’t be,” she settled on. “I’ve known Daniele for most of my life. I’ve met your cousin several times. I’m not intimidated by them.”

That was important, to her, for Abbie to know.

And Abbie accepted her insistence with an easy nod. “Sure. But… I think it’s less about whose here, than the fact that we’re all queer women. And that you just came out to two more people.”

There it was. The fact that Abbie really did understand her, somehow. Because, yes, that description perfectly aligned with this odd feeling coursing through her.

Still, she held Abbie’s gaze, intently, as she doubled down, “I’m not going to flee.”

“Great. Then, let’s do this.”

Before they took another step, though, Abbie ducked down, putting her mouth near Rose’s ear. So close that everything inside of her went on high-alert, and her breath caught in her lungs of its own accord.

“If you do at any point feel like you’re going to crack a molar because they irritate you, code word is I need an assist.”

Her hot breath washed over Rose’s ear and her neck, and she felt herself erupt in goosebumps, like she was tingling all over her fucking body.

She blew out a deep breath, shaking out her hands, before she found the wherewithal to say, hoarsely, “That–” She paused, needing to clear her throat. “That’s far more than a simple code word, Lemon.”

Abbie had started walking toward the entryway into the den, and she paused, shooting Rose a playful look over her shoulder as she shrugged.

Shaking her head, she followed Abbie into the room, taking a long moment to look around.

It was very similar to what she remembered, when she’d spent the night over a decade ago, when they’d all watched a movie. Most of the furniture – to her memory – was in the same place, including the large, L-shaped couch, which Daniele and Norah were already sitting on, but not next to one another.

Even though they obviously knew one another, given their relationships with Abbie, they didn’t seem particularly… close. Interesting.

Rose, particularly, didn’t love that fact, as it presented her with having to make the decision of who to sit next to, given that they were on opposite ends of the couch.

Before making the choice, she refocused on Abbie, who’d set the tray that she’d obviously not been struggling with at all down on the coffee table with a flourish.

“What does a sapphic hang out actually entail?” She asked, winging up an eyebrow at her.

“I’ve been wondering the same thing,” Norah cut in, as she leaned forward to grab a glass and pour herself a drink. “Like, are we going to talk about the last time we had sex with a woman?”

Daniele emitted a sound that was almost – choked? “I hope not.”

Rose pulled a deep frown, also desperately hoping not. The fucking last thing she wanted to hear about was the last time Abbie had slept with someone.

Then again, the last time she had slept with a woman, it had been Abbie.

And wouldn’t that be a fun little jaw-dropper for Daniele?

Abbie scoffed. “Yeah, no. Vetoed.”

Some of the knots relaxed in Rose’s stomach.

Still, Abbie shrugged, as she dropped down to sit on the soft, plush carpet rather than on the expanse of the available couch. “And… whatever we want? The whole point is just – this. If you all want, we can do something to channel our inner-high-schooler–”

“Oh, we can sneak some of Aunt Caroline’s good alcohol,” Norah cut in.

“Sneak?” Rose and Daniele both echoed, dubiously.

Rose snapped her head toward Daniele, who looked over at her, too. Rose was galled, while Daniele looked amused.

They’d both said the same thing in the same tone, as if they actually did know one another or have anything in common. What was the world coming to?

Daniele turned back to Norah, waving her hand at her as she was sipping wine she’d poured into her glass. “You’re already drinking. Because we’re thirty.”

Abbie reached out to grab for the remote, turning on the television. “Well, whatever we’re doing, we’re going to do it with Senator Thompson’s rally from this afternoon on in the background.”

“Our background for the evening being the lesbian politician who’s going to become our next president in a few short weeks? Now, that is a sapphic hang out,” Norah declared.

“You don’t know that,” Rose stated, as she walked over toward the couch. Her decision was made; she’d sit right across from Abbie, in between Norah and Daniele, with a cushion separating her from both of them.

Everyone turned to look at her, and it was very clear that they were all affronted by what she’d said. She jut her chin out back at them, defensively. “What?”

“Why would you say such a thing?” Abbie asked, holding her hand to her chest, as if Rose had insulted her. “We’re only, like, a month from election day, don’t put that into the universe.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t voting for her,” she retorted, because obviously she was. Well, maybe it wasn’t obvious to everyone in here, but… she was. “I was just saying, not everyone will,” she clarified, firmly but quietly.

It wasn’t something Rose enjoyed, either, but it was a reality of the life she’d had to think about in a way that was very clearly different from Abbie, Daniele, and Norah.

And, yeah, she didn’t want to bring down the mood of sapphic hang out or whatever, but –

“There’s a reason I was never the one being sought after for slumber parties,” she dryly muttered.

“I’ll say,” Norah scoffed.

“Well, as someone who was there, I will say that you were invited – way back in the day, like even before high school. You didn’t come to them.”

“I didn’t feel like discussing stupid things I didn’t care about or being kept up until three in the morning by other people giggling, nor did I enjoy the idea of sleeping on the ground,” she shot back with narrowed eyes. “Sue me.”

Abbie laughed, re-capturing Rose’s attention, her blue eyes alight with amusement from across the table. “That feels so right.”

She held eye contact with Abbie for a long beat, simply enjoying how warm that look was.

Only to be jarred out of it a moment later when Norah leaned forward to place her glass on the table, before very solidly clapping her hands together. “Okay, so, going back to the whole last time we slept with a woman thing–”

“No one wanted to discuss that,” Daniele reminded her, firmly, about one second before Rose did. Galling, yet again. “Other than you.”

“I’m pivoting,” Norah assured quickly. “So, Ab, when are you getting back on the apps?”

Rose had been reaching to pour herself a glass of wine, and paused, mid-reach. Her stomach clenched as she, too, glanced back at Abbie awaiting her answer.

Abbie, whose only response was an intense eye roll directed at her cousin. “You are literally always telling me how much you despise being on the apps. It’s not like you’re making them seem appealing to me.”

“I thought you weren’t looking to start something right now,” Rose found herself saying before she could think the better of it.

But… Abbie had said that, a few weeks ago. She remembered it very clearly.

It was only in this moment, as Abbie glanced at her and bit her bottom lip, that she appeared to be a little uncertain.

“I’m not,” she agreed with her past-self, but not quite so firmly to be entirely convincing. “At the very least, not enough to seek out the dating apps. I’m definitely not there, yet.”

Not that it was Rose’s business; she knew it wasn’t.

But she also knew that her feelings for Abbie were – and possibly always would be, even if they continued with this friendship – complex.

Then again, maybe dating other people would be good for their growing friendship.

“On that note, what about you, Rose?” Norah asked, directing her attention – unexpectedly, though Rose realized a second later, maybe she shouldn’t be surprised by it. “The apps?”

Norah had that same thing about her that Caroline did, she thought in this moment. That probing intensity, though it wasn’t as practiced or subtle.

Which made it a lot easier for Rose to brush it off.

Abbie pointedly cleared her throat before she said anything, though. “If Rose wants to talk about her love life, she can and will, and you don’t need to ask about it.”

There was a part of her that enjoyed Abbie defending her – was that what this was? Her stomach fluttered slightly with it.

Norah held her hands up. “There was no ill intent. I’m just curious.”

“This is a sapphic hangout and all,” Daniele added, her tone light.

And maybe it was because Norah and Daniele were using those light, casual tones. Maybe it was because Abbie was right there and ready to jump in defend her. Maybe it was because of that freeing feeling she still had coursing through her.  

No, she wasn’t friends with Daniele and Norah; she’d barely spent any time with them in her life. Even Daniele, whom she’d technically known since they were children, even back in school she’d barely spent any meaningful time with her.

But she did feel… safe. Not safe enough to share her life story or about her past, but safe enough to talk about this. About being a lesbian.

Wasn’t that the entire point of the evening?

She quelled any of the small disquiet inside of her, before stating, “I haven’t been on “the apps” either.” Okay, even though she felt relatively “safe” she still felt tense talking about this.

But she didn’t want to.

So, she pushed on.

“But, Nathan and I have officially filed for divorce.” It had been a very quick and easy process. They’d finished their requisite separation, everything had been divided amicably, and the mediator they’d worked with had been confident that everything would go through very quickly. Most likely before the end of the year, possibly before the holidays, even. “So. Now that I’m no longer merely separated and the paperwork has been filed…”

She shrugged, interlocking her fingers over her knees where her legs were crossed over one another.

“Perhaps I’ll be seeing the aforementioned apps sooner rather than later,” she finished, wanting to know how that possibility would feel on her lips.

“Really?” Abbie asked, drawing Rose’s attention again. She shook her head, carding a hand through her hair, before her lips curved into a small smile.

And – yeah, this was about as much frying of her nerves as Rose could handle right now. With that, she cleared her throat. “Yeah. Anyway. Why don’t you get some cards, Lemon? I’m going to show you all how to play poker.”

There was no way Rose would be sitting around for another hour or two or… however long this was going to last, simply talking and sharing.

Abbie lifted her eyebrows at her, clearly amused but also she clearly understood Rose’s deflection, and pushed herself to stand up, walking over to the shelves on the other side of the room that were stacked with some games.

“Bold assumption that one of us won’t manage to take you for everything you’ve got,” Norah shot back, as she slid to the edge of her cushion.

“I’ll take my chances.”

When Daniele scooted to the end of her cushion, she tilted her head at Rose. And she imagined that she was going to have some competitive comment back, but what Daniele said, instead, was, “I have to tell you, Rose, I always thought you were queer.”

Rose spluttered, her face heating. And the worst thing wasn’t that someone in high school had been able to tell; it was that it was Daniele of all people. “Excuse you?”

“She did,” Abbie confirmed, returning to the table with a deck of cards. “She told me.”

“And did you confirm and tell her about out kiss at prom?” Rose asked, arching Abbie a look.

There was quiet that beat through the room. Abbie looked at her, color high in her cheeks. “Uh… no.”

Norah cackled. “Man, you are two for two tonight.”

“You kissed on prom,” Daniele echoed slowly, as she was likely rolling that revelation over in her mind, her tone quiet and thoughtful. “You know, I’d wondered who Abbie’s “recent” first kiss had been. Did not realize how recent it had been.”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly share that info without sharing… other things… that weren’t my business to share,” Abbie said in her own self-defense, as she started shuffling the cards. “I also had no clue what to do with it at the time.”

With that, she continued shuffling, but arched Rose a look across the table.

Rather than feel alarmed or embarrassed that she’d divulged information about herself – about her and Abbie – she felt… satisfied.

This wasn’t something in her past that she needed to keep so closely guarded, hidden and locked away. This was her, her history, and – and she wasn’t ashamed of it.

She held Abbie’s eye contact, slowly arching a look back at her. Not ashamed at all.

***

Rose felt victorious as she walked down the driveway toward her car, Abbie at her side, a few hours later.

Both victorious, having won the most hands of poker, and impressed by Abbie, who’d managed to hold her own. Rose would have never guessed Abbie would have had such a good poker face.

“You sure you’re good to drive?” Abbie asked, her hands tucked in her back pockets as they arrived at Rose’s car.

She turned to look at Abbie, whose face was illuminated by the warm lighting of the lamp across the street.

“I’m sure,” she confirmed, sincerely. She’d only had a glass of wine, and had switched to water two hours ago. Drinking wasn’t ideal when trying to fleece people in poker.

Technically, it was a “friendly” game – clearly Daniele and Norah had taken it unseriously, or just weren’t very competitive people. But Rose, and Abbie, were different.

Daniele had driven Norah home twenty minutes ago, while Rose had stayed to tidy up the den with Abbie. Mostly to soak in the final dregs of the day with her, enjoying the companionable silence.

Abbie had offered for her cousin to stay, but apparently, Norah had a Big Case happening, and was going to have to be at the office in the morning for a meeting despite it being a weekend. Her office was only a few blocks from her apartment, and she had no desire to wake up early, drive home, and get ready. Rose knew all of this, because Norah had laid back on the couch and lamented about it.

Obviously, she had no issues sharing her thoughts or problems in a way Rose couldn’t relate to.

“I hope you had a good time,” Abbie said, her voice low and earnest, as she searched Rose’s gaze with her own.

“I… did,” she answered, tasting the truth on her lips.

Somehow, she had.

She’d enjoyed the conversation that had flowed from topic to topic, nothing too serious, nothing that made her feel like she’d needed to clam up. She’d enjoyed wiping the floor with both Norah and Daniele in poker, even if they hadn’t cared about whether or not they won. She’d enjoyed sitting across from Abbie and sharing smiles with her.

She hadn’t gotten annoyed at Daniele for merely existing, and that had been the biggest revelation to her.

Daniele had given her a smile before she’d left, something that was atypically warm – not for Daniele, but for it to be directed at Rose, at least in their past together – as she’d said, “I’m really happy for you.”

There was so much layered inside of her, when it came to Daniele. Who’d been able to be open about her sexuality in high school, who’d always lived her truth, who’d never been encumbered by the weight Rose had around her neck. She’d always resented it, and her, for being so… simple. Then, Abbie being in love with Daniele, that had really been the icing on the cake.

But things were different, now.

Sure, Rose’s first instinct was to make a sharp comment back, but it wasn’t rooted in actual anger.

“It was actually a really good night, Abbie. And I appreciate you making it happen,” the words left her, low and honest, as her stomach fluttered with the truth of them.

And before she realized it was happening again, Abbie took a step closer and wrapped Rose up in her arms again. Just like she had earlier, only – different.

Less emotional, but no less complete.

Rose sharply inhaled, surprised by the embrace yet again, but she only had a moment to lean into it, before Abbie pulled back slightly.

Just enough to lift her hand up and gently catch a lock of Rose’s hair that had escaped her ponytail, gently sweeping it back behind her ear.

Rose’s breath held in her lungs at the feeling of Abbie’s fingertips so gently brushing over her skin.

“I’m happy to have been the conduit for your first sapphic hangout,” Abbie said, softly. Sincerely.

So sincerely, it made her heart skip a beat.

Much like earlier, when Norah had entered the house, she didn’t know if she was more happy or upset when Abbie cleared her throat and stepped back, dropping her hand.

And maybe that was something she was going to have to start to work through, if they were going to be doing this friendship thing.

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