I Knew You Were Trouble - 12 (Patreon)

Oh, Autumn and Maya. How they've also stolen my heart in writing their story...

I'm very excited for the next few months with these women.

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Part Twelve

“Just calling to confirm you got the email I sent you earlier,” Gwen said as soon as Maya picked up her call.

Normally, she didn’t chat with her family in the middle of the work day, while she was literally sitting at her desk, but today wasn’t necessarily a “typical” day.

After the Alton-family bomb drop from yesterday, Maya hadn’t gotten home until late, and she’d felt so… wrung out. No, nothing had happened to her, but she felt so twisted up about it all. Her heart ached with an understanding she could have never had before, for Autumn. And for her sisters, now.

On top of it all, her mind had been going a mile a minute, having latched onto the same thing Autumn had – the legality of it all.

Maya hadn’t spent much time over the last two years wishing that she’d gone into practicing law right after she’d passed the bar; she really enjoyed the path she was carving for herself.

But last night, she’d yearned to be more useful. She felt an itch inside that she hadn’t felt in a long time, maybe since she’d literally been in law school. Like this was what she wanted to be doing.

Only, she’d made the choice not to practice law. So, she actually couldn’t offer Autumn more answers.

And thus, she’d reached out to Gwen to ask some questions while she’d also done her own research.

On top of it all, after feeling that ache of everything Autumn had gone through with her family… it had made Maya need to touch base with hers. Just because.

So, it was nice to hear Gwen’s voice right now.

“I did,” she confirmed. “And I appreciate it.”

“Mhmm,” her oldest sister hummed, unsubtly waiting for more.

Which Maya wasn’t giving her, not at this moment. Not when she was in the office and she was expecting Autumn to come in any second now. “And I appreciate you, as well,” she said, instead.

“Maya,” Gwen’s exasperation dripped from her voice.

“Gwen,” she parroted, and – god, it had never occurred to her how lucky she was for this. To have this easy relationship with her family.

“Why are you asking me questions about family law? About kidnapping?” Her sister lowered her voice to a hiss, as she was clearly also at the office. “Should I also be looking into some sort of criminal law for you?”

Her tone was only semi-joking.

“No,” she stated, firmly.

And she felt… relatively certain about that. Honor and Haven were minors that had run away across several states, but Maya hadn’t assisted in their escape from their family.

She flicked her gaze to her watch. Things were going to start to become a little more untangled – maybe? Hopefully? – shortly, anyway.

“There’s just a, hmm, situation,” she settled on. “And I’m peripherally involved.”

“Is this about Autumn?” Gwen asked, her voice going cool. “What in the world is she doing? And why are you getting involved at all after the other day?”

Gwen wasn’t mad, but she was incredulous, using her “older sister knows best” voice that Maya had never enjoyed.

“There’s a lot going on,” she hedged, defensively. “And if I was able to divulge the details to you, you’d get it.”

“Sure,” Gwen shot back, and it was clearly that she didn’t agree.

Maya rolled her eyes, because she knew better. Before Gwen could try to dig deeper, though, the door to the office opened, and Maya perked up.

“Thanks for checking in, but I have to go back to work. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Gwen echoed, still sounding suspicious.

Oh, well.

She ended the call as Autumn walked into their part of the office, followed closely by Honor and Haven.

For literally the first time since working here, Autumn had contacted her this morning and said she was going to be a couple of hours late. The only time she’d taken from work since Maya had known her had been for doctor or dentist appointments, so that had been a huge thing.

She’d always wanted Autumn to take some more time for herself, but this wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined her doing it.

The twins were clearly wearing Autumn’s clothing today, and if Maya didn’t have all of the information she had, it would be comical. They were all relatively the same size, only Autumn was a little taller than they both were, and though Autumn was thin, Honor and Haven were both even more so.

Not necessarily to the point of alarm, exactly, but not great.

As a result, Autumn’s clothing was slightly baggy on them both. Which would have been fine, only they both looked ill at ease in her button-ups and slacks. They looked like teenagers pretending to be Real Adults, which, Maya supposed, was not inaccurate in this case. They were teenagers, wearing adult clothing, clearly clothing they weren’t super comfortable in.

Maya felt her mouth pull into a genuine smile, hoping she was able to push down some of the sympathy she could feel sweeping through her. Hoping she was just a friendly familiar face. “Good morning.”

Honor and Haven both greeted her with small, identical smiles. But, warm ones.

“Good morning,” they both responded, also at the same time.

Maya liked to think they’d started to get used to her. They’d obviously only known one another a short time, but yesterday had felt like it had spanned weeks. On the car ride over to Autumn’s, they’d both started to get a little less tense, to lean into her a little more.

Which was alarming in and of itself, because they didn’t know Maya very well, and they were maybe a little too trusting on that front. Luckily, their trust in her wasn’t misplaced.

She shifted her focus to Autumn, then, who was already zeroed in on her. She, too, was smiling and it was different than it normally was. Both happier and more stressed, at the same time?

An interesting combination, but one Maya understood, given the circumstances.

And… she managed to hold back a sigh that wanted to escape her. Autumn wore her work clothes like they’d been made for her. The fabric fit her like she was made to have that air of quiet control.

Yeah, Maya needed to get a grip.

She gestured to Autumn’s desk, where she’d placed a little bag a few minutes ago. “I brought up some snacks.” She reached for the coffee that was still full – not her own, almost empty one – on her desk, before she stood and walked it around to have to Autumn. “And this. Wasn’t sure what your morning was looking like, so…” She trailed off with a shrug.

“Thank you, Maya,” Autumn said, softly, as she reached up and took the cup from her.

Their fingertips brushed and set off that tingle where they’d made contact. The one that Maya wasn’t sure would ever leave, at this point. How could it, when she couldn’t pull away from Autumn?

Not now, anyway. She just couldn’t, even though it was so damn complicated.

Maya shrugged. “I didn’t know for sure if you were bringing them in today, but I figured it would be better to be prepared.”

The twins had both turned their attention to the snacks she’d brought up, going to sit at Autumn’s desk. They walked almost silently, so light on their feet they were barely able to be heard.

“I don’t mean just for the food,” Autumn corrected, turning to look at her directly. “I mean, for everything.”

There was that sincerity in her voice, in her eyes – Maya swore those bright blue eyes were shining with it, and it made her stomach clench in the best and worst way.

She hid her long, uneven breath as she lifted her own coffee cup up and took a sip.

“Were you on the phone with your sisters when I came in?” Autumn astutely questioned, lightly sliding her fingertip over the curve of the lid of the coffee cup.

“Uh – yeah. Well, just Gwen, actually. But I didn’t tell her anything,” she assured, flexing her hand at her side to make sure she didn’t reach out for Autumn.

It was a reflex now, and they were… friends? They weren’t not, especially after yesterday.

It had taken everything inside of her not to lean into what Autumn was finally offering her. Autumn had opened the door to Maya, had given her the entire story of her past, of why she was the way she was. She’d taken comfort in Maya, had admitted that she wanted her, in more ways than just sex.

But how could Maya trust in that? Autumn had really chosen to let her in, her hand had been forced. And now, her life was going to change in so many ways, neither of them knew what was coming next.

She’d put herself out there, put her heart on the line, and had been willing to take the smallest scraps of emotional intimacy, and Autumn had shut her down.

How could she trust that what Autumn was leaning on her for now was actually what she wanted?

And she didn’t think Autumn was doing it consciously. Autumn was so clearly thrown into a situation she hadn’t possibly been prepared for. Her carefully ordered life had just been ripped open, and Maya was a bystander to watching her old scars be put on display.

No one could do everything alone. People weren’t built to go through life by themselves, to shoulder every burden without support.

No matter what, Maya wasn’t built to walk away from someone she cared about – romantically or not – when they needed her. She couldn’t walk away from Autumn when she needed her.

But she also couldn’t go down the romantic/sexual road again, either. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

And so, she figured it would probably be good to attempt to institute some sort of boundary when it came to touching. They’d just done so much touching in the last several months, it was confusing and weird to not reach out.

Autumn nodded haltingly, and Maya could see her jaw working back and forth briefly, before she looked back at her. “You can. Tell them. If you want to.”

Her eyebrows lifted high on her forehead as the surprise filtered through her. “Oh. Okay.”

Autumn merely nodded in response, and she fidgeted slightly with her coffee cup again in a way that was so… not-Autumn-like. Not even yesterday, once she’d realized that her sisters were really there, that they were there for her, that they needed her. She’d been so thrown, so shocked, but she’d pulled everything together. She’d been the strength Honor and Haven had been seeking.

“Is–” Autumn cut herself off, clearing her throat. “Is she here?” She nodded toward Charlotte’s office.

The door was closed, as Charlotte had been in a virtual meeting for the last hour. Maya glanced at her watch; it was just after ten, so the meeting should be over, now.

It was only then that she realized it was the Charlotte of it all that made Autumn feel a little nervous.

Of course.

God, only a few days ago, she would have been so – aggravated by that. After everything that had played out yesterday, though, everything she’d learned, everything she now knew about Autumn… she couldn’t find it within herself to be aggrieved enough to even roll her eyes. Not even enough to tease Autumn, at all.

“She is. Came sweeping in bright and early,” she informed Autumn with a nod, taking the final sip of her own coffee, but keeping her eyes trained on Autumn over the rim. “Are you ready?”

Autumn tightly rolled her lips, glancing over at her sisters who were huddled close together behind her desk as they delicately picked over the snacks Maya had purchased. The sight of them seemed to fill her with certainty, with resolve, and she nodded, turning back to Maya. “I am; I have to be.”

With that, she walked back over to her desk and squatted down to be level with the twins as she informed them, “I’m going in to have a meeting with Senator Thompson.” She pointed at the closed door, “I’ll be right in there, if you need anything. Are you okay out here?”

They exchanged a glance before looking back up at her, and Haven asked, “Are you having the meeting about, um, us?”

Autumn nodded in confirmation. “Yes. And I promise, it is going to be okay.”

Both of the girls were obviously skeptical about how “okay” everything was going to be, but they still nodded. Maya couldn’t blame them.

Autumn reached out and gently squeezed both of their shoulders as she stood, giving them a smile that was believably reassuring. And the truth was that Maya knew the girls should believe in Autumn, because she truly believed with her entire being that Autumn would die before letting her sisters go back now that they’d found her.

There was a strength to Autumn that she’d seen before, but had never had context to understand. And it really was awe-inspiring.

She did her best not to fall into it, as Autumn squared her shoulders and walked over to Charlotte’s door, her long ponytail shifting mesmerizingly over her back as she directed a look at Maya. “Are you coming?”

She blinked widely, knowing that Autumn could only be talking to her, yet still feeling deeply confused. “You… want me to come with you? In there? With you and Charlotte?”

Maya felt kind of like an idiot as the words fell out of her mouth, but – it just felt so incongruous to everything she knew about Autumn. In what world, prior to yesterday, would Autumn have wanted Maya to sit in on a personal meeting with Charlotte, regarding her family?

She’d assumed she’d sit out here, keeping an eye on the twins and the phone.

“I need this to be an official, on-the-books meeting,” Autumn spoke quietly, just loudly enough for Maya to hear. “I’d like you to document anything that – if it were a meeting with anyone else – I might document. And… I really need it to be you,” she finished, even quieter. “Please.”

Maya felt her heart constrict in her chest, as if it was stealing all of her fucking breath. And she couldn’t help but reach out now, establishing contact. Just a quick squeeze of Autumn’s hand in hers, but it was necessary. So, so necessary. Just a little connection for both of them.

Autumn immediately flipped her hand over, gripping hers in return. For only a couple of seconds, mindful of where they were, but Maya could feel how much Autumn had needed it. Needed a lifeline. Needed her.

Which only reaffirmed for Maya how right she’d been.

The decision to show up for Autumn as a friend, because she needed one. And she needed someone she trusted, which was a very, very small – almost non-existent – list.

Still, she was the first one to pull away, and that was new for them.

She quickly grabbed her tablet from her desk for official documentation of the meeting, before she took the lead in tapping her knuckles against Charlotte’s door to alert her of their presence.

“Come in,” Charlotte called out.

Maya locked eyes with Autumn and nodded, briefly, before she opened the door and allowed her to go in first. Before she followed, she looked over her shoulder at the twins, shooting them a quick wink. She figured it did the job of comforting them, as they both gave her a smile in return.

“Good morning, Autumn,” Charlotte greeted, nodding at Maya over Autumn’s shoulder, as they’d already had their typical hello a couple of hours ago. “Did you take care of the personal matter that came up?”

Maya swiftly, quietly, closed the door.

She could see Autumn’s shoulders rise with the deep breath she took. “Not… entirely.”

Charlotte’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, having clearly not anticipated that response. Not from Autumn, who typically had everything figured out and buttoned up when it came to work. “Ah. All right…? If you need some more time today, that should be fine. I have a meeting shortly, I believe–”

“You do. Now, actually. It’s with me,” Autumn’s words were jagged, like she didn’t quite know how to be, like this, in front of Charlotte. “I need to talk to you, in a professional capacity. Your professional capacity.”

Who went quiet, leaning back in her chair in obvious surprise, as she eyed Autumn up and down in quiet confusion. “Okay,” she accepted, questioningly, but, as always, unruffled. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

Both she and Autumn settled into their respective chairs opposite Charlotte’s desk, the way they had hundreds of times. But this was so, so different.

She brought her tablet to life and opened the app she used to document meetings, her own stomach fluttering with nerves, so she could only imagine what Autumn was feeling.

Autumn, who’d placed her coffee down on the small side table, and had her hands clutched tightly together in her lap.

“I’m ready when you are,” Charlotte said, and there was such a calm, unflappable reassurance about her. “Take your time.”

It was something Maya had never had a reason to appreciate like this before. Professionally, yes, she did. But now, it was deeper.

“I…” Autumn coughed, and her spine straightened so much, Maya swore she could see the tension rolling off of her. “I was born and raised in a fundamentalist family. Baptist. I left – well, I was forced out by my father – when I was twenty-one. For being a lesbian. For not being willing to marry the man my father had decided was going to be my husband.”

Charlotte was normally so good at schooling her every expression, and she was truly remarkable, as she was able to keep that up even now. Her only outward expression was a slight furrowing of her eyebrows, the smallest tilt of her head. “I see.”

“I have nine younger siblings. My sisters, Honor and Haven, they – I don’t even know where to start,” Autumn muttered, lifting one hand up to rub at her temple, and the other went to rubbing the necklace Maya had given her at Christmas between her thumb and index finger. “They came here, looking for me. For help. Because my father is also trying to ensure they don’t do what I did. He’s trying to force them into engagements they don’t want and aren’t ready for. With older men.”

“Hmm,” Charlotte hummed, shortly, her lips pursing.

“They’re fifteen,” Autumn added, sending Charlotte a beseeching look. “And our father… he has fairly significant power in our hometown. In our county. He’s close friends with the sheriff, and I know that there is going to be some sort of legal recourse. He is not the kind of person that is going to take my sisters leaving lightly.”

Autumn’s shoulders trembled as she took in a long, deep breath, and her knuckles were white with how tightly she was clutching her hands together, and everything inside of Maya ached for her. 

“And I – I hate to ask this of you. To ask anything of you. Because I know that’s not your job, at all. I know it’s my job to make your life run smoothly,” there it was. This truly agonized tone in Autumn’s voice, one that cut so deeply into Maya. “I know that you don’t owe me anything. I know that asking you for this kind of help isn’t–”

Charlotte held up her hand, then, stopping Autumn from going any farther down that road. “Autumn, I’m going to cut you off there.”

Her voice was firm, but not unkind at all. Immovable and passionate, but not overpowering.

“To my understanding, you currently have two minors in your physical custody, who have run away from their parents…?”

Autumn nodded, tightly. “They ran away a few days ago.”

Charlotte’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Maya could see the thoughts turning in her mind.

“All right. I know this will likely be difficult to discuss, and I’m well-aware you don’t enjoy sharing personal anecdotes,” Charlotte acknowledged, and was in full problem-solving Senator mode. “But I believe time is going to be of the essence in this case, especially given that they’ve likely already been reported to the authorities.”

Autumn nodded again, her eyes trained on Charlotte like she held all of the answers.

And Maya, in this moment, understood. Because she, too, bought in. Charlotte did have the answers, and Maya was ready to fall in line.

“I’ll need to know very specific details. Has there been physical abuse? Is there any documentation on record?”

Maya could see how tightly Autumn swallowed, and her cheeks were tinged pink, but she didn’t waver. “When I lived there, it wasn’t… it… the worst part was the cage. In the basement.”

Maya had been taking her job very seriously, documenting everything that was being said on the record. But her stomach twisted so hard in revolt, she thought she might be sick, and she accidentally hit several letters as her hand jerked.

Even Charlotte’s expression crumpled into something far more emotional, startled, just for a second before she recovered.

“It was for when we misbehaved. There’s a desk in it, and we would have to copy down bible verses, citing examples that translated to the reason we were being punished. Other than that, it was mostly withholding meals – if you had a punishment that day, you didn’t get dinner.”

Maya would not cry.

She wouldn’t.

Because it wasn’t what Autumn would want and it wouldn’t serve any purpose. Autumn wasn’t crying, and this was her own lived experience. In fact, she was saying the words devoid of emotion. Like she’d detached any personal involvement of those memories.

She swallowed tightly, and forced herself to keep documenting.

Autumn looked down, her eyebrows drawn low, as the rough emotion seeped into her tone. “According to Honor and Haven, it’s gotten a lot worse since I left. There’s a lot more physical punishment. The length of the time in the cage or how long they’re denied meal privileges.”

She took in a sharp breath, shaking her head. “The problem is that, other than my sisters, I can’t imagine you’ll find anyone else to corroborate the truth.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Charlotte said, her voice low and authoritative. “Before we continue, let me step out to make a call. The sooner we get started on this, the better.”

With that, she stood up, taking her cell phone as she went. As she walked past Autumn, she didn’t pause but she reached down and gently squeezed her shoulder.

They both watched her go, Maya staring until the door quietly clicked closed behind Charlotte.

As soon as they were alone, Autumn dropped her head into her hands, breathing out a harsh, ragged exhale, a sound that had alarm zapping through Maya.

She turned in her chair, running her eyes over Autumn, hunched over in her own chair.

Despite all of her thoughts around keeping any sort of boundary between them, keeping her hands to herself, she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to touch her. She pressed her hand against Autumn’s knee, squeezing it firmly to let her know Maya was here.

She wanted to say something comforting, but how the hell did she know what would be comforting right now? After what Autumn had just said, Maya didn’t want to offer words or platitudes. She didn’t want to offer something meaningless.

 “I made it worse. It was bad when I was growing up, but… I made it so much worse for them,” her voice came out in a tortured whisper, muffled under her hands.

Her whole body trembled with her next inhale.

“You did not.” Maya barely remembered to lock her tablet and place it down, nearly knocking it to the floor in her haste to slip out of her chair. She dropped down next to Autumn so she could face her, placing both of her hands on Autumn’s thighs, just above her knees. Holding firmly, so Autumn could really feel that she was here.

Autumn shook her head, lifting it just enough to blink down at Maya, only inches away. Her eyes were glassy with tears she was managing to hold back. “I didn’t think about what would happen. I knew it would be bad for all of them, but I couldn’t – I didn’t…” She trailed off, her mouth still open, seemingly trying to find the right words.

Maya squeezed her thighs a little tighter, needing Autumn to hear her. “You can’t light yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Or you’d have all been burned alive. This is not your fault; it’s your parents’ fault. You were basically still a child yourself.”

Sure, she’d been twenty-one.

But she’d been a twenty-one-year-old who’d had no autonomy, no freedom, not even open access to her fucking cell phone. If “sheltered” had a definition, Maya was confident in saying that Autumn and her siblings would be right there in the dictionary, in the context of the world outside of their family/church/hometown – which all seemed to be essentially the same thing.

“The only thing you could have ever done is what you’re doing right now. And you’re doing it. Unsurprisingly, you’re doing it in a timely and efficient manner,” she managed to summon as light of a tone as she could, cracking the smallest smile.

Autumn stared at her so intently, before she nodded, the movement slow but certain. “You’re right. I can’t fall apart now.”

Maya’s lips pulled into a frown. “Uh, I didn’t say that. Actually, if there was ever a time to take a few minutes and fall apart over something, I’d say your last twenty-four hours qualifies.”

Being thrown back into revisiting her traumatic religious past while trying to figure out how to navigate her fifteen-year-old twin sister runaways showing up on her doorstep seemed like a very logical time to fall apart a bit, really.

Autumn’s lips curled into the barest hint of a rueful smile. “I’d say it goes a bit beyond twenty-four hours,” she said so quietly it was nearly inaudible. She tightly closed her eyes, shaking her head as soon as the words left her. “I’m sorry. I’m…” She drew in a deep breath, leaning back to sit up straight. She was doing that thing where she visibly put herself together, the thing that had always fascinated Maya. “I’m okay. Bare minimum, I can’t fall apart here.”

Stomach in uncertain knots, Maya didn’t have the time to figure out the best way to respond, as Charlotte walked back in.

Still crouched in front of Autumn’s chair, they both turned their attention to her.

“I was able to get on Jillian Miller’s calendar today. Within the hour, actually.”

At that, Maya’s eyebrows shot up on her forehead. “Holy shit.”

Autumn swung her attention from Charlotte to Maya. “Jillian Miller?”

“She’s a lawyer, she does a lot of highly contentious family law cases. She did a guest lecture at Penn State once when I was in law school, right after she represented Kyla Gerard in her custody battle.”

“The actress?” Autumn asked, looking between Maya and Charlotte again.

They both nodded in confirmation. Charlotte walked toward her desk, a contemplative expression on her face. One Maya was familiar seeing her with when it came to work, but – obviously – never herself or Autumn.

“She moved from New York to D.C. a year ago, and she’s been doing a lot of work with the Foundation, regarding social services. Taking on a much bigger platform, but she is still very capable of handling individual cases.” Without waiting for either of them to respond, she continued, “She’d like to meet with you and I, first. Then with your sisters – I said hi to them, but they seemed fairly nervous – later today or tomorrow.”

Maya realized she was still in front of Autumn, like she was some sort of shield or guard dog or something. More than that, they were so close in front of Charlotte, in a way they had never been. Which was kind of funny, given that they were no longer having sex.

She removed her hands from Autumn’s legs and stood, reaching for her tablet. “I can rework your schedule; you only have two meetings this afternoon.”

Charlotte nodded at her. “Thank you. I’ve already contacted Hamish.”

Autumn stood up as well, her eyebrows furrowing in consternation. “Honor and Haven are here with me. I mean, you saw them. I know you said Ms. Miller wanted to meet with us first, but–”

“I can hang with them,” Maya quickly cut in with an offer.

If Jillian Miller was putting together a plan with Charlotte to figure out the best way to navigate this storm, they were going to do exactly what she said.

“Are you sure?” Autumn asked, softly. Those wide, imploring blue eyes trained on her, both seeming so grateful but also hesitant. “You don’t have to.”

“I’m sure. As long as they’re okay with it.”

***

She was weirdly… honored? When Honor and Haven were totally okay with spending a couple of hours with her.

They’d nodded with no hesitation when Autumn had asked if they felt comfortable with her, and… yeah, she didn’t really know the twins that well. But it meant something to her.

Maybe it was because they were such a big piece of Autumn, even if they were a piece Maya hadn’t been able to put together until yesterday. Maybe it was also because they were just – just two kids whose lives were in turmoil, and she felt protective over them.

After all, she’d been the one to “find” them, so to speak. Or, they’d found her, first? Either way.

And now, she was the one shepherding them through the mall.

She’d asked them if they had anything they’d want to do for the next couple of hours, and they’d both given her wide, uncertain looks, before Honor had hesitantly asked, “Can we, um, get some new clothing?” They’d all glanced down at their Autumn-borrowed outfits. “Autumn said she would take us, but if we could go now, it would be one less thing she has to do for us.”

She could feel their desperate need to be less of a perceived burden. Even though she’d assured them that Autumn most likely didn’t feel like she “had” to do anything, she’d figured taking them to pick out some clothing would be a good activity for everyone involved.

You really don’t have to do that, I can do it later. You’ve already done a lot had been Autumn’s unsurprising response via text.

I told you, I’m here to support. I’m your friend. And I love buying things for people – remember, I gave everyone we work with even peripherally a holiday gift?

I recall. But I WILL be paying you back. Keep every receipt

Maya had ignored that last directive for the last hour and a half, as they’d slowly meandered through three stores, and she’d encouraged the twins to go as wild as they wanted.

Which… wasn’t really wild, all things considered. Neither of them ever wandered more than a few feet away from her or one another, which was great because she was very vigilant about keeping eyes on them. But she hadn’t had to ask them to stay close, they just did.

It was abundantly clear to Maya that they saw her as an adult authority figure, which was a very interesting mantle to take on, in terms of being responsible for another person.

But she was doing her best.

Like when Honor had held up a skirt that cut off right at the knee and had asked – both hesitant and defiant – “Can I get this one?”

“You should get whatever you feel comfortable in. That’s what this shopping trip is all about, okay? Whatever you two want.” Seemed like the best response, and they both seemed to appreciate it.

By and large, they were generally quiet, leaving Maya to do most of the talking.

But she’d made them laugh a handful of times, making some jokes about mannequins, pretending to try on a ridiculously sequined tube top that they’d clearly both found very scandalous. Maya didn’t find it scandalous, just hideous – they’d loved that comment.

So, all in all, Maya would consider their shopping expedition a success.

They stood at a complete standstill in front of the food court, and she was only slightly wavering on that whole “success” thing. Mostly because both Honor and Haven seemed rooted to the spot, as they looked around at the many options in front of them.

Maya tried very hard to not let any of her confusion shine through too obviously, as she asked, “Did… you have a mall near you?”

There were malls in Ohio. Maya had never been to Ohio, but there had to be some variation of food court like this somewhere near them. She was sure of it.

“We did,” Haven answered, dragging her gaze from the many food stalls to look at Maya, biting her lip.

Honor finished the explanation, “We just weren’t allowed to eat at them.”

Maya slowly nodded, wondering if that was some sort of religious component she was totally unfamiliar with or –

“We had food at home,” Honor added, eliminating her confusion. “And getting food out at places like this is a giant waste of money, not to mention unhealthy.”

She sounded precisely as though she was reciting those words from memory, and Maya supposed if a family had ten people to feed, it would make sense.

“Well, if you two are interested in it, I personally love being a little irresponsible every now and then. We have Italian, we have Chinese, we have Mexican – you name it, we can try it. Provided this food court has it as an option.”

She was unsurprised when neither Honor nor Haven left her side as they ventured through the food court, trying samples, discussing their options. And if someone had told her just a week ago that she’d have two shadows following her every move, she’d have thought it would be annoying.

But it was kind of impossible to be annoyed at the twins. No, she didn’t know them very well, technically. She was sure they had genuinely personalities inside – beyond the glimpses she could see of them – but, per Autumn’s comments about her own background, they’d been forced to shove aside any of their true selves and live as well-trained puppets to their father.

It was enraging and heartbreaking, and Maya felt a little like a mother hen. Protective and endeared by them.

Which was also how they ended up all carrying trays full of food – far too much for them to actually eat in one sitting – as they settled at a table. Because neither Honor or Haven were willing to ask for something, but they seemed to like the idea of everything.

And this was the start of their new life. A life where they were allowed to try things and have opinions about it.

Which Maya reenforced, as she settled across the table from them. “Go ahead, we indulged in more than enough. If you take a bite of something and you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish. Okay?”

Honor nodded, clearly excited by that prospect, while Haven also nodded but seemed a little nervous about it.

They were slowly picking through bites of food when she became aware that the twins were gently nudging one another, clearly doing that silent communication thing they’d perfected throughout their lives.

Finally, Honor asked, “Do you think everything is going okay? With Autumn and that lawyer and, um, Senator Thompson?”

“You don’t think we’re going to get sent back home, right?” Haven added.

Maya immediately shook her head. “I do not believe you’re going to get sent back.”

She hesitated for a moment before deciding that this was their lives. Yes, they were still just kids, but they’d done the hard thing. They’d run away. And they should have whatever transparency she could offer them.

“I think it might get a little complicated, legally. But that’s why Autumn and Charlotte are with Jillian Miller now. And why you two will be meeting with her, too.” She held their gazes across the table, giving them a small smile. “You two being able to find Autumn was not only amazing because of Autumn – who loves you, and is so strong–”

She managed to stop herself before she waxed on. Not only because she didn’t want to show too many cards regarding her feelings for Autumn, but also because she needed to do her best to hold that in check for herself.

She cleared her throat and stayed on track. “But also because of Charlotte. Er – Senator Thompson. Trust me, when things could get complicated, there is no one better to have on your side than someone who has the resources that she has. It’s kind of like hitting the jackpot.”

Even though they both were clearly still anxious, and Maya couldn’t blame them, they also looked a little more relaxed.

She’d just taken a bite from one of the mountain of tacos they’d gotten to try – her personal favorite offering here – when Honor asked, “What’s it like? Working for Senator Thompson?”

As she finished chewing, she tilted her head, thoughtfully. “It’s good. I mean, there are pros and cons to most jobs. The cons for working for Charlotte are mainly about the hours, but…”

She trailed off when she saw the twins exchange a look, and she arched an eyebrow at them in confusion.

Honor turned back to face her directly, her fingertips toying with the plastic top of her cup, as she explained, “I meant… because… you know, she’s,” she lowered her voice to dip into a hushed tone, “A gay. A – a lesbian.”

Totally rocked by that, Maya leaned back, blowing out a deep breath.

Oh. Well, then.

It made sense, given everything she knew. Given the way Autumn had been kicked out of her family. But, fuck, this was a whole other can of worms that still needed to be opened…

“It’s good,” she echoed her answer from moments ago, picking over her words carefully in her mind. How the hell should she address this?

But the reality was, it needed to be addressed. And Maya figured it would be better to gauge their reaction to spending time with a lesbian with her rather than with Autumn. Right?

What if they flipped out about the gay thing, and it made things more complicated for Autumn? For the entire legal case that was about to be brewing? If she could get a read on that situation first, it might be better all around.

Clearing her throat, she lightly drummed her hands on her thighs, mentally going all-in on the decision. Autumn had texted a little while ago that she’d wrapped up with Charlotte and was going to be meeting them here shortly, so…

“The thing is,” she continued, picking up the conversation slightly stiltedly. “I actually sought out working for Charlotte because she’s a lesbian.”

Both Honor and Haven looked across the table at her, their eyebrows furrowing at exactly the same time.

Maya didn’t know the last time she’d ever felt hesitant to come out to someone. Truthfully, she never had, because she’d known she hadn’t had to be concerned about her sexuality when it came to telling her family or friends.

So, she just… said it.

“Because I’m a lesbian, too.”

She held her breath, waiting. Watching them register the update and reconcile the Maya they’d started to get to know with the fact that she was gay.

And if it wasn’t all so fucking insanely tragic, she might have laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it truly felt so wild. The way both of the twins’ eyes widened, and they both shifted back subtly from the table as if they couldn’t help but physically pull away in shock? Alarm?

Maya didn’t know them well enough to know.

All she did know was that the best way to respond was to be calm and steady, doing her best to look encouraging. Which, she was.

If Honor and Haven freaked out about gay people, then it didn’t change Maya’s life. But it would sure as hell impact Autumn, and… and if she could mitigate that even a little bit, she wanted to. It made her ache inside, thinking that Autumn could have this chance of having Honor and Haven in her life, but – for her to then be rejected by them? It would be soul crushing.

“Um…” Honor started to say, before snapping her mouth shut.

Ohhh, boy.

Maya waved her on, patiently. “Look, I’ve had a crash course look into Growing Up Alton in the last twenty-four hours. It’s very clear that you haven’t had much exposure to people with different lifestyles than yours. So, if you have anything you want to ask, feel free. Really, I’m an open book.”

She made a mental note to call her parents and thank them for that. For the fact that she was an open book, because she’d been raised in an environment where she felt safe. Unlike the world Autumn, Honor, and Haven hailed from.

Honor and Haven, unsurprisingly, exchanged a glance, before turning back to her. There was definitely caution written into the expressions, but also a curiosity. Maya was hopeful that she could work with that.

“Are your parents, uh, gays?” Haven asked, dipping her voice to a whisper at the last word.

“You don’t have to whisper that; it’s not a slur. Unless you’re using it as one…?”

Haven quickly, vehemently, shook her head, her cheeks turning a deep pink. “No, I was just asking! I promise.”

“Great. The answer is no, my parents aren’t gay. They are a very hetero-normative couple. I do want to add, real quick, that gay and lesbian aren’t slurs, but they’re also not nouns. They’re adjectives. You know? Like… I’m not a gay, I’m gay.” She nodded at them, hoping she looked encouraging. She was trying, here. But she’d never had to explain something like this to someone, so she frankly didn’t know how well she was doing.

They both returned her nod, very slowly, like they were taking that information in and tacking it somewhere in their minds.

She nearly didn’t continue, nearly gave them some time to sit with that, before she decided to go all in on telling them about her family. Because, why not? Maybe giving them a window into her family tree could be helpful somehow. “I have two older sisters, though, and one of them is also a lesbian.”

They continued to nod at her, eyebrows furrowing even deeper.

“But… you’re not a transgender?” Honor asked,

“Again, that’s an adjective,” she corrected, lightly. “And no, I’m cis – er, was born a woman,” she explained, hoping that she didn’t give away any of her ohhhhh boy thoughts on her face. They wouldn’t be helpful, and nothing the twins were curious about was their fault.

One single thought about the fucking cage in the basement to write bible verses, and Maya felt a walloping rush of sympathy. Everyone had to be educated somewhere, and she was more than happy to be the person to jumpstart the twins.

“Did you date boys before?” Haven asked, quietly, her eyes narrowed in thought.

“I did not,” she answered. “I was very fortunate to grow up with my parents who didn’t care about whomever we dated. As long as they weren’t a fan of opposing sports teams,” she joked. Kind of – her parents would definitely care a lot more about that than gender or sexuality.

It didn’t land, as both Honor and Haven frowned back at her, unimpressed.

“Ah, so, no. Never dated boys,” she circled back to the question. Obviously not the time to try to make things lighter.

When the twins excused themselves to go to the bathroom a few minutes later, she felt the conversation had gone well, all things considered.

As if she had a sixth sense, some sort of special Autumn-is-near sense, she felt this lowkey buzzing awareness slide through her, and she turned to look up just in time for Autumn to sit down on the cafeteria bench seat next to her.

Plunked down seemed more accurate, really, but it was so uncharacteristic for Maya to think of Autumn “plunking down” anywhere when she was typically so in control of every movement. So… precise.

“Where are the twins?” She asked, immediately, glancing around. Like she, too, had a sixth sense that had already been activated since yesterday, one to take note of where her sisters were.

Unfamiliar to Maya, but she had to imagine based on all of Autumn’s background that she’d probably developed and used this sixth sense of hers throughout most of her life. When she was acting as a second parent to all of her younger siblings.

“Bathroom,” she answered, gesturing to the short hallway off of the food court. She’d kept her eye out; there was no other entrances or exits down that hall, and they hadn’t returned. “How did it go?”

“I…” Autumn took in a deep breath, shaking her head as she blew it out, her shoulders tense. “It’s a lot. Charlotte cleared the entire afternoon, actually, because she’s going into some meetings to get the ball rolling on this. Jillian gave me a really clear picture of what I need to do, and it’s – a lot. I need to find a new apartment; mine is obviously way too small. I need to figure out schools and–”

Before she could go too deep listing off her many newfound responsibilities, before she could spiral down a rabbit hole, Maya reached up and placed her hand on Autumn’s back. She flattened her palm and was able to feel the too-quick thrumming of her heart.

“Take a breath,” she instructed, softly, keeping her eyes closely, intently trained on Autumn’s face.

Autumn did as she was directed – what a role reversal, and Maya couldn’t even joke about it. Didn’t have it in her at this moment to even want to. She turned and landed those laser-blue eyes on Maya’s, their gazes locking in.

She nodded minutely, keeping her hand firmly pressed against Autumn’s spine, breathing with her. Breathing with her until she could feel Autumn relaxing bit by bit.

She was still sitting with her ever-present perfect posture, and there was still that tightness in her muscles, but – that was Autumn. She didn’t seem like she was drawn so tight she was about to crack, and that was perfect.

“You do have a lot to do,” she agreed, softly, starting to slide her thumb back and forth. Comfortingly. “Taking on two teenagers unexpectedly is a huge thing.” She held that intense eye contact for another beat. “But you are Autumn fucking Alton. And you have been through some really, really hard shit in your life. And you’re not alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Autumn echoed, like she was mulling that over, still having trouble taking it in.

Under her palm, she could feel Autumn’s heartrate returning to normal. That slow, steady beat that Maya was so used to. The one she’d fallen asleep to and woken up with multiple times a week for over a month.

Tightly, she closed her eyes and forced herself not to do that. She really, really needed to get a grip on that.

“Can I tell you the most fucked up thing?” Autumn whispered, like she wanted to make a confession.

She snapped her eyes open at that, arching an eyebrow at her.

Though Autumn’s heartrate was slow and steady, Maya could feel the bit of tension creeping through her again. Anticipatory curiosity pricked at her, and she couldn’t help how fascinated she was already.

“Of course. Please, actually,” she invited.

She loved this side of Autumn. She really, really did. So much.

Too much.

“I hate everything about what my siblings have gone through. I… I would do almost anything to make it so it never happened,” Autumn stated, solemnly. Like she needed to know Maya believed her.

And of course she did. She could see it, hear it, feel it. Of course, Maya didn’t point out that Autumn had also gone through it, and that she wished Autumn hadn’t, either. All she did was nod, seeing that there was something Autumn needed to get out.

“But… in the most fucked up way… I’m so – happy,” her voice cracked on that word.

Those beautiful blue eyes filled with tears at the same time that a smile, something that came from the very heart of her, pulled up on her full, beautiful lips.

Maya’s heart flip-flopped in her chest. “Oh–” baby nearly fell from her lips, and she snapped straight up, alarm coursing through her. Nooo, no.

Even though Autumn had made a possible move last night, that still wouldn’t have put them in endearment territory. Because where they’d left off wasn’t endearment territory. At least, not acknowledged or verbalized.

If she’d let that word slip out around Autumn four days ago, she’d have had an Autumn-shaped hole in her wall. Tort would have escaped through it. And she needed to hold on to that stark truth.

Autumn didn’t seem to register how awkwardly she’d cut herself off, thankfully. “I’m so happy to have them back, to have them in my life. Isn’t that so – so incredibly fucked up?”

She sounded absolutely anguished, and Maya melted, feeling the backs of her own eyes sting with tears again.

“Autumn,” she managed, sounding slightly strangled still to her own ears – the echo of that baby wasn’t gone in the least. “It is not fucked up. Okay? Of course it would have been the best case scenario if… if after what went down with you, your parents actually got right with the lord and treated your siblings better. That would have been great. But that’s not even close to what happened. So, for a part of you to feel happy that Honor and Haven won’t go through that? For you to feel happy that you get to have a piece of your family – clearly, a piece that you loved so deeply – in your life again after being alone for so long… it’s not fucked up. I think it would be fucked up, actually, if you didn’t feel that way.”

Autumn’s breath caught and held in her lungs, and Maya could feel it with the way she was still touching Autumn, with how closely they were sitting.

It was a moment, and Maya could just – she could feel it filtering through her whole body. This openness, this vulnerability in Autumn. This need to be right here with her in the trenches, and she was. They inhaled simultaneously, together.

Was it irony? That they were finally in sync, after the last six months. The last two years.

Clearing her throat softly, Maya tore her gaze from Autumn’s as she felt her stomach twist into knots. She dropped her hand from Autumn’s back, immediately feeling far too cold, even as she rubbed her palm up and down on her own thigh instead.

“By the way, I told the twins that I’m a lesbian,” she murmured, figuring it would be a good idea to get that in the open.

Autumn reeled back, spluttering, “Wh – what?” She glanced at the hallway exit where the restrooms were, before turning back to Maya, whispering, “How did it go?”

That intensity was back as her eyes roamed Maya’s face.

“Surprisingly well, I would say. They didn’t run away from me or cite any bible verses or anything, so I’d say it was positive.”

She was only semi-joking, because… yeah, she felt there was a chance that could have been their reaction.

The fact that Autumn didn’t so much as scoff or roll her eyes confirmed it.

“Huh,” she hummed out, thoughtfully. “That’s… good. Good. Great.”

“I thought so.”

As if on queue, Honor and Haven came walking back out from the hall toward the table.

Maya lifted her arm and waved at them, which they returned with barely a second of hesitation. Yeah, a positive response overall.

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