Gianna PoV - The Kiss (Patreon)

Let's continue our journey through OtSP in Gianna's point of view!

This really felt like the most natural post to do, given that we've already had a Gianna PoV of the massage and of the days after.

Let's jump into Gianna's mind on the most confused night of her life...

--------The Kiss---------

What.

WHAT.

WHAT WAS GOING ON?!

Those were the only thoughts Gianna could feasibly register in any conscientious way.

Other than:

Riley.

RILEY.

RILEY WAS KISSING HER!

Nothing made sense right now.

And everything made more sense to Gianna right now than it ever had before in her entire life.

Somehow, both things could be true.

Riley Jane Beckett was kissing her.

Those lips, the soft, lush lips that Gianna had sighed at, fantasized about, yearned for, had long wanted to know, intimately, were on hers.

But she was – frozen.

Because nothing was computing.

Her body was so fucking keyed up just from that massage, from Riley’s naked body in her bed, from touching her all over, and now – now Riley was kissing her.

She felt like a livewire ready to explode, but was in the moments of pre-explosion. The moments where the wire was burning down to the dynamite, but she wasn’t quite at that dynamite just yet.

She just – she just – she didn’t understand, and she was desperate to understand.

With the number of times they kissed one another’s cheeks over the years, they’d occasionally made contact with each other’s lips. That was just happenstance. Even though Gianna couldn’t help but revel in those moments, she never allowed herself to linger on them.

Because they weren’t real kisses. An accidental brush of the lips wasn’t the same, not only in intention but in sensation as a real kiss.

This, right now – this wasn’t accidental. There was no fucking way this was accidental. Because Riley was kissing her.

She felt a light, teasing swipe of Riley’s tongue over her bottom lip.

That… that couldn’t be accidental.

And then Riley – oh GOD – pulled her bottom lip between her own, releasing it gently, before going back in to press their lips together.

This was real. She could taste Riley on her. Her lips were tingling with this sensation, something she’d only been able to dream about, for a decade.

Still, she remained frozen. Time moving in slow motion.

Because her mind couldn’t catch up to her body, yet. Nothing made sense, none of it.

Did it have to make sense, though? Did anything else have to make sense right now? Why did anything have to make sense when Riley was kissing her?

And then Riley’s lips were gone.

She felt Riley’s hand on her neck, though, scratching against her with just the right amount of pressure that made Gianna shiver down her spine, as she started to speak, “Are–”

The combination of Riley’s nails digging into her and the fact that this opportunity might have passed her by before she’d even gotten to live in it – that was what she’d needed.

The dynamite exploded.

She swore she could hear it, an explosion crashing in the back of her mind before it surged through her entire body.

She wouldn’t miss this moment. Nothing else mattered other than that. She couldn’t miss this moment in time, the thing she’d been waiting for her entire adult life.

Riley was kissing her.

As if on a delayed reaction, a keening moan left the back of her throat, and she ducked down to press her lips to Riley’s again.

Gianna was a good kisser. Actually, she was a great kisser. She’d received that feedback many times over the years. It was a skill, something she’d perfected.

And none of that carefully honed skill mattered in this moment. She didn’t know if it was translating to Riley, because what she felt more than anything was a sharply edged desperation. A desperation she’d never felt before in her entire life.

How could she be desperate for someone? Even when she was attracted to someone, aroused by them, even when she was really into having sex, Gianna wasn’t desperate.

Right now, with Riley, she was.

She felt helpless, driving forward entirely by this desire that ravaged through her body.

She’d already been turned on beyond belief, more than she’d ever been in her life, because of the massage. And now, now she had Riley underneath her.

Riley was underneath her, almost entirely naked, in her fucking bed. And Gianna wasn’t even caught in a fantasy.

She slapped both hands down on the bed on either side of Riley’s head, just barely having the presence of mind to hold herself up and keep her balance, as she plundered Riley’s mouth with her own.

She needed to experience everything. She needed to cement all of this in her mind. Riley’s taste, the plush softness of her lips, the way her tongue felt as Gianna brushed her own against it.

She dug her fingers into the mattress, gripping it to keep herself anchored in reality.

Sliding the tip of her tongue along Riley’s, she both felt and heard Riley breathe a sigh into her mouth. Like – fuck – like Riley was loving Gianna’s exploration of her mouth exactly as much as Gianna was.

That thought burned through her, making this heat burn even brighter inside of her. Something she’d thought would have been impossible, but obviously not.

Her body took over even before she could think to question it, rolling her hips down against Riley. The way she’d just been pressing herself down into Riley’s ass.

There was no way she could stop it, no possible way she could stop herself. How could she?

This was the very subject of almost every sexual fantasy she’d had – in some way – since college. She had no control left; she needed to roll her hips down into Riley’s, chasing this sensation. Building higher, higher.

Riley seemed to – to like it. To want more? She kissed Gianna back, beat for beat, rolling her hips up into Gianna’s, stroking her hand over Gianna’s back with every whimper she breathed out.

She felt Riley’s hand sneak between them, and she shuddered at the sensation. Of Riley also touching her. And then she felt Riley’s fingers brush against the heated skin of her stomach, and it flicked a switch in her mind.

Gianna touching Riley and getting turned on… that made sense. She understood herself in this scenario very well.

But – but right now, Riley was touching her. She seemed to be wanting to take Gianna’s sweatshirt off, and… and Gianna had no problem with that.

She had the opposite of a problem with that, in fact.

But it didn’t make any fucking sense.

Why?

Why was Riley doing this?

Why was she trying to take off Gianna’s sweatshirt?

Why had she initiated this kiss – this whole night – in the first place?

And now that those thoughts started ringing through her mind, demanding an answer, she couldn’t turn them off.

She wanted this with Riley more than she’d ever wanted anyone in her fucking life.

But she also loved Riley more than anyone in her fucking life.

Feeling that same helpless desperation – this time, far too overwhelming to ignore, and not tinged with arousal – she broke their kiss.

She didn’t pull back right away, breaking all of their contact. Instead, she opened her eyes widely, her heart hammering in her chest like she’d run a marathon, as she stared down at Riley.

Riley, whose face was flushed with obvious pleasure – pleasure from Gianna’s kiss – and her lips were swollen – from Gianna’s kiss. And then Riley’s beautiful eyes blinked open, staring right up into hers.

This was Riley, her Riley, and… she glanced down between them, to see Riley’s hand. The way the backs of her fingertips were pressed against Gianna’s stomach, the way she had so clearly been moments away from unzipping Gianna’s sweatshirt.

And then Riley turned her hand and gently flattened it against her stomach, the feeling of her touch warm and – somehow – both comforting and confusing. “Gianna?”

The sound of Riley’s voice whipped through her mind, working through that thick haze of arousal. Better than a bucket of cold water, honestly.

Because no one said her name like Riley did. Concerned and loving, even though it was obvious that Riley seemed just as confused, now, as Gianna did.

She needed this to make sense.

She needed to understand what the fuck was going on.

Because her entire world was being up-ended right now. The person she counted on to be the least confusing part of her life wasn’t making any sense to her whatsoever.

And that was so unsettling.

She snapped backwards, sitting up on her knees. Still technically straddling Riley, but they were no longer touching, and that was the important thing. Because she needed minimal contact with Riley so she could try to have a coherent thought.

Coherent thoughts when her lips were still tingling from Riley’s kiss seemed next to impossible, though.

How could she still feel Riley’s kiss so strongly?

She brought her hand up, pressing lightly over her mouth. Just… just feeling. Even when she gently pressed her own fingertips down, it didn’t stop that sensation Riley had sparked.

She didn’t – couldn’t – move her hand away from her lips, now. Like she was preserving that moment in time, still in awe about this lingering feeling.

“What is happening?” She asked, and it wasn’t even necessarily to Riley.

She was asking the universe at large. She was questioning everything.

Riley’s eyebrows furrowed together. “I – was that not okay?”

“What?” Gianna barely managed to push out.

Not okay in what sense, she wondered. Not okay as in, was the kiss not good? Obviously, that kiss had been fantastic. Not okay as in, Riley wasn’t sure she had Gianna’s permission?

But the logistics of the kiss really were irrelevant. Whether or not the kiss was “okay” didn’t matter.

What actually mattered was a lot bigger than that –

“Riley, you just kissed me,” she pointed out, vexed.

If there had been a single sign over the years that Riley was into her, Gianna would have known. But there never had been. Riley had never looked at her in any lingering, heated sort of way. Riley had never touched her or talked to her in any way that suggested… anything.

So, what the fuck was going on?

Riley, absurdly in Gianna’s point of view, seemed to be just as confused.

Clearly, because she pushed herself to sit up, one of Riley’s tells that she was preparing to have a more serious conversation.

Which was all well and good, except –

Gianna swallowed, thickly, her heart skipping a beat in her chest.

Riley sitting up brought them so close, again. Nearly chest-to-chest, eye-to-eye. Intimate.

Intimate in a way Gianna loved, but loved far too much to be able to think straight. Quickly, she scooted backwards, sitting firmly on her ass. Which was great, because she didn’t know how much longer she could have maintained full balance.

Riley stared at her with narrowed, baffled eyes. “I… did,” she acknowledged their kiss. “But, was that not supposed to happen? Is this like a Pretty Woman situation, without the money?”

WHAT?! Supposed to happen? Pretty Woman?!?!?!

“What are you talking about?!” Gianna demanded to know, reaching up and dragging her hand roughly through her hair.

She was glad when she snagged on some knots, because the pain honestly felt really grounding right now. Right now as she was questioning whether or not she’d fallen into a different damn universe.

That’s how this felt. She felt like what was going on was so… so insane, so big, that her entire worldview was shifting. And she wasn’t sure she was prepared for that. Especially because she still had no fucking clue what Riley was even talking about.

Riley shifted slightly closer, the look on her face still confused but softening. Like she could see that Gianna was about to lose it.

“Gianna, the gift. The note you wrote me?” She asked, with that leading tone in her voice. Like, helloooo?

Well, Riley could knock and ask hello all she wanted, but when it came to whatever she was referencing, no one was home.

Gianna pictured, very easily, the gift she’d crafted for Riley. All of those things Riley had mentioned wanting to try, lovingly arranged. And not a single one of them was in sight in her bedroom.

“You didn’t even bring the gift tonight!” She even darted her eyes around to double-check, like she hadn’t totally imagined that. But, nope. “What in the world is going on?” She breathed out.

She and Riley had never been like this. So completely not only not on the same page but not even in the same book. At this point, she was thinking they weren’t even in the same library.

When Riley didn’t say anything for several moments, Gianna looked back at her, needing to know, “What does the gift even have to do with… this?” She gestured between them, trying to make any possible connection, but nothing was clicking.

Riley’s mouth fell open, obviously affronted. “You think I’d let you fuck me with a strap-on if we didn’t even kiss?”

All of the air was sucked out of Gianna’s lungs, leaving her to barely manage to gasp out, “What?!”

STRAP-ON?!

Fucking Riley with a strap-on.

She was going to short-circuit. She was going to stroke out, right here and now.

All she could do was stare at Riley, at a complete and total loss for words. Loss for thoughts, even. Because – what?!

Riley shrugged, the movement jerky. “Well, okay, I don’t know if you expected me to fuck you with it.”

Oh. My. God.

Riley fucking her with a strap. Gianna… was going to pass out?

“I mean, I obviously assume the ties were for you and not me, because we both know I don’t love that.”

The ties? The TIES?

“But, Gianna, I wouldn’t have wanted to do that without kissing first, either?” Riley finished, questioningly. Staring at Gianna like she couldn’t possibly understand what kool-aid Gianna had partaken in.

And, in fairness, with what Riley was saying – what Riley was telling Gianna she’d received in her gift box – things were starting to shift in her mind. The gears that had been stopped in their tracks started rotating once more.

Still, though, “I didn’t get you either of those things,” she asserted, and was very certain about that.

But Riley shook her head right back. “No, you did. And a vibrator,” she started to list, “And a blindfold. And–”

“Nipple clamps,” the word escaped her in a breathless rush, because she felt like she’d been hit over the head with understanding.

Finally, things made sense.

Gianna had packaged a gift with every single item Riley was describing.

And then – Gianna felt herself blush. And she never fucking blushed, but she did right now – she remembered, “And then I said… we should, us, we should do it together.”

Maybe Riley hadn’t gotten the correct gift, but she’d gotten the correct note.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Had there ever been a bigger mess-up in history?

“Yes!” Riley exclaimed, nodding vehemently. “You did!”

Gianna slapped her hands over her face, trying to quell the burning she could feel there. Trying to sort through how she’d just played the biggest – worst, best, most cruel, and sweetest – scheme on herself.

“Oh my god. The fucking gifts,” she lamented.

Even if someone else’s had gotten screwed up in the mix-up, no one’s could have been worse than this.

“What do you m–” Riley abruptly cut herself off, and Gianna could basically hear the dawning of understanding. “You’re kidding me.”

Yeah, Riley got there on her own.

“I’m really not,” Gianna assured, dismally, dropping her hands away from her face. Because she needed to; this was her own screw-up. And she needed to see Riley, to monitor her reaction, too. “I… that box that your card was on, it was for Athena. Those…” The strap, the ties, the vibrator – god – all of the things Riley mentioned believing Gianna had given to her… “Were for her.”

It hadn’t been Riley’s mistake at all, obviously.

Gianna had thought Riley was the one who’d gone insane, but it was actually her. At least, the way the situation presented, with her giving Riley that gift and the note, it was all Gianna.

She didn’t really know how to feel.

This was the wildest rollercoaster of her entire life.

And Riley – her heart – was in the thick of it with her.

She stared at her, trying to gauge how Riley felt.

Because, really, it was absolutely the most ridiculous thing in the world. The crossed wires. The way they’d both thought they’d been having transparent conversations with one another. Like, objectively, it was the silliest thing in the universe.

And as soon as she saw the hint of a smile cracking on Riley’s lips, her own slid into place.

As soon as she heard Riley’s bubbling laughter start, her own fell from her lips, until they were both in a fit of giggles together.

God, what insanity. How… just…

With all of the adrenaline that had been coursing through her, she now felt loose and like she could somewhat relax. She had answers.

And the answer was so – ludicrous. So, so ludicrous, and all she could do was give in to the absurdity, here, with Riley.

Riley leaned into her, talking through her laughter, “I was so confused.”

“Me too!” Gianna shot back, incredulously, as she dropped her head into her hands. Jesus, they could have avoided so much more if she’d been able to summon more direct words instead of falling right into lust. But how else could she have reacted when Riley was doing all of that?! “You were acting so weird.”

“Can you blame me?!” Riley asked in a very valid self-defense, before she dropped her hands down to her thighs.

The slap of it grabbed both of their attention, both of them staring down at Riley’s hands.

Riley’s hands that were resting on her bare thighs.

That heat inside of her that hadn’t quite been entirely extinguished – it should have been, given the reality of everything, but… it wasn’t. It probably never would be – sparked again, as she slid her eyes up Riley’s body.

She couldn’t help herself.

Excepting that sexy lacy underwear, Riley was naked. She’d been so caught up in the… well, everything else, that she had been able to overlook that.

But, not anymore.

Hastily, her heart pounding in her chest, she unzipped her sweatshirt. She hoped Riley couldn’t see how her hand was trembling slightly, still, as she handed it to her. “Here.”

And her eyes landed, again, on Riley’s breasts, but – no. She snapped her gaze back up, locking with Riley’s. Where her eyes should be. Because Riley had thought Gianna was hitting on her, she’d thought Gianna was trying to – harmlessly, teasingly, no-strings-attached – entice her into having sex with women. No big deal.

Riley had no clue just how much of a big deal it could be to Gianna.

As Riley slipped the sweatshirt on, Gianna’s mind – now calm with understanding – looped back to the most incredible moment of the night.

Unthinkingly, she brought her hand back up, unable to stop herself. Sliding her fingertips over her lips, tracing over them, feeling the ghost of Riley’s kiss even still.

“You kissed me,” she echoed herself, and… and she didn’t even really mean to say it.

It wasn’t said aloud for Riley; it was all because of and for herself.

Riley had kissed her. She knew the feeling, the taste, the all-consuming sensation of Riley’s kiss, tattooed, now, on her lips. It was still rocking her entire world to the core, making her tremble.

“I’m so sorry. Jesus, I am so sorry, Gianna.”

Riley’s apology was full of emotion, full of remorse, and she dropped her hand to the one Gianna had resting on her own thigh.

She dropped her own gaze down to stare at Riley’s hand on hers. The touch was something normal for them, but Gianna… nothing could feel normal right now, not to her.

“Seriously, I – I never would have…” Riley trailed off, a little helplessly herself. Like she couldn’t bring herself to finish apologizing for everything she was trying to apologize for.

Gianna just continued to stare down at their now-interlocked fingers, Riley’s apology ricocheting through her mind.

Riley was sorry? She sounded like she was being eaten up inside over instigating the physical aspect of tonight, but – but that was the last thing Gianna wanted to hear.

Riley didn’t know it – couldn’t know it, and that’s how Gianna wanted it to stay – but… what had transpired between them had been the stuff of dreams to her. She just, she just needed a second to process it all.

She’d gotten this moment in time with Riley, but it had been under crossed wires and misunderstood pretenses.

Riley flexed her hand around Gianna’s again in the face of Gianna’s silence. “But, seriously, Gianna, I… I wouldn’t have just done all of that, without…” She could see the way Riley gulped, could see just how much this was starting to eat her up, thinking that she’d done something Gianna hadn’t wanted. “I thought…”

And, no.

Absolutely the fuck not.

No, she didn’t want Riley to know any extent as to what this had been for Gianna. How she didn’t think she’d ever be this aroused in her life, ever again. How she could still feel Riley’s lips against hers.

But she also couldn’t allow Riley to go on thinking she was responsible for something bad. Something Gianna hadn’t absolutely wanted and been a party to.

She turned to look at her, needing Riley to see how much she meant this – hoping she couldn’t see quite how much – as she insisted, “Riley, this is my fault. You shouldn’t apologize. I gave you the gift.” And she wasn’t sure if she hated her past self for it or loved her past self, more. “I told you to come over. I offered the massage.”

And, fuck. Wow. Now that she was saying it all out loud: of course Riley had interpreted tonight as… well, what it had turned into.

“I’m sorry.”

She managed to take in a deep breath, thinking over the events from Riley’s perspective all over again, and…

She blew out a long, deep breath.

“That’s – I – what you must have been thinking…” She mused, still trying to wrap her own mind around it.

From Riley’s perspective, their texting conversation after the party was essentially Gianna cheerleading Riley into coming over to have sex tonight! Like, what the fuck!

No wonder Riley had been so off when she’d come in earlier.

She frowned, deeply, detesting the idea of causing any possibility of Riley feeling – she didn’t know. Unvalued? Like, if Gianna was trying to put a move on her, that she’d do it just like this? With no care, no finesse? With a giftbox of a vibrator?!

Honestly, she hated that Riley would possibly think that Gianna didn’t value their friendship enough, that she’d even offer this as an option.

Yes, Gianna’s reasons for not crossing that line were many. But even if she wasn’t in love with Riley, she wouldn’t suggest they have sex to get Riley out of a slump. Maybe – maybe – in college, before she’d really understood the scope of Riley as such a foundational part of her life. But now?!

Her stomach was twisting into tight, sickening knots at the idea.

Then, Riley nudged her thigh gently with her own. “Hey, at least after the…” She swallowed. “The kiss, you looked as confused as I’d felt since last night.”

Gianna couldn’t help but smile. Even if she didn’t find the situation funny, she could appreciate Riley’s attempt at making it feel lighter.

But then Riley’s eyes narrowed slightly, and she tilted her head in that thoughtful, considering way. The wheels were obviously turning over something in her mind, as she stared at Gianna’s mouth, and –

And then Riley’s eyes widened and flew to Gianna’s, staring up at her in question. “You kissed me back.”

Oh.

Oh, boy.

That – Gianna hadn’t really gotten to this part, yet, in her mind. She’d been so busy fixating on the fact that Riley had kissed her, that she hadn’t even begun to dissect Riley thinking about the way Gianna had returned that kiss.

Which, really, had been Gianna’s passion, unlocked.

She wasn’t – she didn’t –

She didn’t know when she’d ever felt this immediate, gripping terror, especially over something like this. Something when it came to physical intimacy, an area she was usually very well-practiced and comfortable in.

But she couldn’t deny it. She literally couldn’t; Riley had felt how Gianna had kissed her.

“Yeah. I did,” she could barely breathe while saying the confirmation.

She was petrified about the possibility of Riley reading into it, of Riley putting together that the way Gianna had kissed her back – those desperate, helpless whimpers and unchecked, uncontrolled need – was in no way typical.

And with the look on Riley’s face right now, the way she was studying Gianna, she honestly had no clue what Riley was thinking.

But there was a lightness that crept into her tone when she said, “Gianna Mäkinen.” God, she loved how Riley said her name. “Are you attracted to me?”

She held Riley’s eye contact for a beat, so thankful that – regardless of the wild confusion of earlier tonight – she knew Riley. And she could see in her expression and hear in her tone that she wasn’t reading into this more than attraction.

Riley… didn’t know. She hadn’t picked up on the fact that Gianna’s burning intensity hadn’t been due to anything other than attraction.

And attraction? Gianna could cop to that.

Actually, she could own her attraction to Riley very easily.

The tension that had wormed its way through her lessened, and she relaxed back with it as she admitted, “I’m attracted to you. Yes.”

Still, her stomach flip-flopped with those words being spoken aloud. They were the closest to any confession Gianna had ever made to Riley, about how she saw her, how she felt about her. It was still a little nerve-wracking to have that truth lingering in the air.

Until she saw the way Riley’s lips pulled into a smile. A smile that was kind of… mystified? Definitely pleased, and that made a breathless warmth spill through Gianna’s veins.

She didn’t think Riley would be upset about Gianna being attracted to her. But she definitely hadn’t considered a possibility where Riley might be flattered by it.

“You’re attracted to me,” Riley stated, rather than question, this time, her tone taking on that same amazed quality.

And, damn. If that didn’t make Gianna feel pleased as all hell.

“Obviously,” she couldn’t help but scoff out, lightly.

But – after the way Gianna had kissed Riley, it shouldn’t have even been a question. Not at all.

Riley stared at her, intently. “You never said anything? For how long?”

Her heart skipped another beat at that tone. Not that Riley sounded angry, but – but she couldn’t possibly believe Gianna had kept her attraction from her.

Her stomach swooped low and uncomfortably, wondering just how Riley might feel if she had any idea how much deeper that attraction went.

Nope, not going there.

She ticked her lips into a smile, one that made her feel like she was keeping a little secret all to herself, even as she rolled her eyes. “At what point in twelve years should I have looked at you and said, hey, I think you’re very fuck-able?”

Truly, though. Because she’d felt that way and thought that way, many times. But come on.

Riley let out a laugh that sounded strangled in her throat. “Okay, fine, I see your point.”

But that strangled laugh had been the indicator that something inside of Riley was shifting. And it was amplified by the way she started toying with the ends of the sleeves on the sweatshirt Gianna had given her.

“Hey,” Riley said, and her voice was so quiet and so soft, and so vulnerable.

Gianna, concerned, stared down at her, needing to know what was going on in that perfect brain of hers. After tonight, it could be anything.

“We’re still us, right? Like… this doesn’t change anything?” That edge of uncertainty that tipped into her voice was like an arrow right through Gianna’s heart.

This. This was precisely the root of why it was better for this door to always have been closed between them.

She reeled back, affronted by the very suggestion. Rejecting the notion of the fact that what they had could change. Because… it couldn’t. It couldn’t. Gianna – she couldn’t possibly survive that.

“Come on, you can’t really think it would?”

Riley kept her eyes on Gianna’s, holding there. “I mean. Not really.”

The intense relief that filtered through Gianna could have allowed her to melt.

Because at the end of the day, that was what she’d needed to confirm, too. Even if she and Riley had actually had sex tonight – if she hadn’t been able to stop herself – she would move heaven and earth to make sure nothing changed between them.

Still, though, Riley tilted her head in question. Like she was almost at the point where she agreed with Gianna that this couldn’t change them, but not quite there. “You’re still touching your lips, though.”

Everything inside of Gianna paused. And so did the way her fingertips were still brushing over her lips.

She hadn’t even realized it. But… yeah, she’d kept her hand there. Almost feeling like she was preserving the moment. Feeling as though she still couldn’t believe it had happened, like she was some teenager getting her first-ever kiss.

Taking a deep breath, she arched an eyebrow at Riley and then made a point of dropping her hand from her mouth.

It did nothing to detract from the way her lips tingled.

“Riley, nothing is ever going to change you and me.” Gianna promised, because she would never let it happen. She couldn’t. She’d spent her entire adult life thus far relying on the bedrock of them. “Not even this. Not even… not even if we’d had sex. Nothing.”

It was a vow she made, an oath. And still, she felt that sweeping sensation work through her at the idea of simply how close they’d come to having sex.

Unsure of if she’d wished they had or relieved they hadn’t.

No, no. She was relieved.

Of course, she’d have loved to have that with Riley. To truly fulfil all of her fantasies and to know what it was like.

But knowing what she knew now, that Riley was only really doing it because she thought Gianna was trying to urge her into trying something new – not because she’d been overcome with a realization that she wanted Gianna with even half of the intensity she wanted Riley with – yeah, she didn’t want that.

Riley blew out a long, deep sigh. “Okay. Thank god. Who else would do my laundry with me?” She asked, and Gianna had never been more relieved to hear Riley sounding normal.

She leaned her shoulder in, ribbing Riley slightly. “Who else would let me steal their sweatshirt?”

Riley rolled her eyes. “I don’t let you.”

She scoffed. “You don’t really stop me.”

And that made this fluttery, delighted feeling filter through her. Because, sure, Riley sometimes acted aggrieved over it. But Gianna would often take the sweatshirt right from Riley’s pile of folded laundry and put it in her own, in front of Riley’s face.

And they both knew Riley pretended not to see it.

Riley leaned in against her, and it was the first physical contact they’d had all night that was normal. They pressed against one another, thigh to hip to shoulder, and she took in a long, deep breath.

Things were okay. Everything was just fine.

They’d made out in the most intense, hottest experience of Gianna’s existence, and they were… good. They were normal.

Somehow, this still felt normal.

She inhaled a deep breath of the scent of Riley’s shampoo, closing her eyes at it.

What would she have done, if Riley had initiated this because she’d realized she had a deep, burning desire for Gianna? She could only wonder.

Okay, she could also start to get lost in that thought a little bit.

“So, what was my actual gift?” Riley asked, and Gianna had been so caught up in her thoughts that she only registered half of the question.

“Huh?” She pulled back slightly to look down at Riley.

“I mean, this happened because you gave me… a gift,” Riley pointed out, and a cute little blush filtered over her cheeks. Damn, so cute. If it was any other night, Gianna would have leaned in to place kisses over that blush.

But, she was going to put a pin in that. Just for tonight.

“So I just thought – what was the real gift?” Riley finished her question.

And it was a valid question, she supposed, given that it had landed them in this predicament.

“Right,” she drawled, looking down at Riley, a slow smile sliding over her face. “It was just the stuff you’d mentioned last week. A starter sewing kit, a sourdough starter, an appointment I made to take pictures for a custom Christmas card. I found a place for us to even try skydiving together. In better weather, obviously. As I said on the card and via text, I was trying to make you feel heard.”

The laughter that crept up her throat and spilled lightly out of her mouth couldn’t be helped. Just… the irony. She’d tried to make Riley feel heard, like Gianna had listened and considered what she’d said – and she had! – only for Riley to end up with a gift full of fucking sex toys, after telling Gianna she wanted to put a pin in looking for love.

Amazing, really. When she zoomed out, there was really nothing she could do but laugh a little.

Riley laughed as well, before she sat up straight, aiming a serious look at her. “Gianna! All of that stuff must have cost a fortune. Skydiving?!”

“You weren’t upset about the cost of the sex toys and those were some high quality items!” She shot back with the same tone.

Granted, the sex toys hadn’t been nearly as expensive as the skydiving alone, but still.

“Because I was too preoccupied to consider the cost,” Riley returned, derisively.

And, that was fair.

The humor slid away, leaving Gianna to simply stare at her with exasperation. “Riley, babe, let me treat you to some things, okay? What’s the point in being successful if I don’t get to shower you in luxury with me?” She asked, for maybe the millionth time.

But, she couldn’t help it. She – logically, maybe – understood that Riley didn’t need anything from her. And she knew from all those years ago, when their friendship foundation was built, that Riley’s point to her was that Gianna had been valued by her “friends” because of what she could do for them. What she could give them, be it access or influence or items.

And Riley’s words from that night still echoed through her mind: why am I the only one here when all you’re offering is you?

Because that had been the thing that set Riley apart from everyone else in her life, boiled down to the truest, simplest component. Riley had never wanted anything from Gianna except for her to be herself. For her time, her company, her thoughts, her conversation. She’d been the only person who wanted Gianna to just be Gianna.

She knew that. And she valued that, more than even Riley could ever know. It had been the bedrock on which her entire world had been re-shaped. Riley saw value in her.

But, at this point, she knew that. She knew Riley wasn’t her best friend because of what Gianna could give her.

Which was the whole reason why Gianna had the deep desire to shower Riley in everything she could ever want or need. If only Riley would freaking let her.

She was glad to see the smile on Riley’s face, though, when she looked at Gianna. Glad to see Riley wasn’t exasperated back at her, over this age-old conversation. “Okay. It’s kind of difficult to argue with that.” She ticked up her eyebrow at Gianna in the cutest way, though, as she said, “Although… if we stuck to the no gift rule – none of this would have happened.”

Gianna’s chuckle slipped out of her before she could even attempt to stop it. Typical Riley. And she wasn’t wrong, either, which was also Typical Riley.

She leaned into her, enjoying her warmth. Her presence, as her laughter tapered off slowly.

This was okay. It was going to be okay.

They’d gone to a precipice together – they’d done something Gianna would literally never, ever be able to forget about – but… they were still them.

Riley had learned about her attraction. They’d kissed. Naked. At least, Riley had been naked and, to Gianna, that was what mattered most of all.

And things were going to be normal between them. She could already feel it, feel the pieces slotting back into place.

Even though sex with Riley would have… god, it would have altered her to a new state of higher being, she knew it would – this was good. This was – this was something she was going to need to think about, to mull over in her mind a little bit more.

But maybe it was a positive. To know, now, what Riley felt like, what she tasted like. Instead of just having theories, she had confirmation. Riley was a world-class kisser. She had incredible tits. She made little sounds that echoed through Gianna’s body, even now.

Okay, maybe it also would be torturous to have this information.

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