The Game Changer - ch 20 (Patreon)

Time for a little get-together?

Chapter Twenty

Rose had never experienced such turmoil over a dinner.

Dinners were simple. She’d been forced to sit through countless dinners throughout her life with her parents, of course, and that was no small task. Dinners at the Elliston home weren’t casual affairs in the least. They were formal, stiff, and uncomfortable at the best of times.

Into adulthood, dinners had been better. With Nathan, life was better than it ever had been when she’d been young. Things were casual, she could relax, she could simply exist. Even so, throughout their marriage, there had still been some outside expectations. Not only from both of their parents, but also from Nathan’s work obligations.

No one would ever describe Rose as friendly and warm, not even at these dinners. But she could make small talk with the best of them; every dinner had a countdown to the end. And she could endure just about anything, especially when the end was in sight.

She frowned at herself in the rearview mirror as she sat in Abbie’s – Abbie’s parents – driveway, re-checking her makeup. Not overdone, but precisely subtle.

But she was having that dinner with Abbie’s fucking parents. So, she felt pretty justified in her stress.

“Mom?” Cassie sighed out from the backseat, and Rose could hear her kicking her feet back and forth impatiently, the heels of her sneakers smacking against the seat, landing just under her booster seat. “Are we going into Abbie’s house?”

Rose flicked her gaze to meet her daughter’s in the backseat. “Yes, we are.”

“Can we go now?” Cassie asked, dropping her head back.

Rose took a moment to close her eyes, setting her jaw. It wasn’t as though she was suddenly going to feel super comfortable, even if she sat in her car for another twenty minutes. All that would result in was a grumpy daughter.

She nodded, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Let’s go.”

“Yay! Finally!” Cassie cheered, kicking her feet again.

It was enough to make Rose smile, so there was that. Even if they’d only been waiting for a minute, she was sure to Cassie it felt like forever.

She got out of the car, making sure to grab the bottle of wine she’d taken with her, then unbuckled Cassie, offering her a hand to help jump down. Which was mostly perfunctory, because – as she’d predicted – Cassie didn’t want any assistance as she hopped from Rose’s SUV onto the driveway. Not even with the little giftbag Cassie was carrying, clutched in her hand as she hurried up toward the door.

Tightening her hand on the wine, she followed Cassie up the steps. Never let it be said that her daughter had a daunted bone in her damn body, because she was already ready to jump up and ring the doorbell as Rose approached from behind her.

It was unnecessary, though, as the door opened before they could alert anyone in the Parker house that they were here.

She dropped her hand to Cassie’s shoulder, both to keep her daughter grounded and stop her from bulldozing in… and to gather some strength, herself. She rubbed her thumb softly over the soft material of Cassie’s jacket.

“What’s for dinner?” Cassie was the first to speak, posing the question to Abbie, Hannah, and Caroline, looking between all three of them.

Rose deeply appreciated it, because it meant both Caroline and Hannah’s attention went first to Cassie rather than to her.

For her own part, she stared – not even intentionally, it just happened – intently at Abbie.

Who had sent a smile down toward Cassie as well, but quickly looked back at Rose, catching her eye. Offering Rose one of her small smiles and a wink, like they were in on something together. Like they were on the same team tonight, or like they had a secret.

Which wasn’t true, in either case, as they definitely weren’t protecting some sort of secret. She had to keep reminding herself of that. That was the whole reason she was even here tonight, because their not-yet-labeled-relationship was now known to Abbie’s parents.

Unless said secret was about Saturday night in their hotel room. Logically, she knew it wasn’t a secret because the only people who should know about it were the two of them.

And yet there was still a thrill that went through Rose’s entire fucking body every time she thought about it, even right now.

God. Fuck, it was happening again. Even right here, right now.

Abbie’s perfectly toned body – Rose inherently thought of Abbie as sculpted by some sort of deity, but in reality she refused to credit anyone other than Abbie for how she looked – popped into her mind. The way she’d looked, topless, only a few feet away, touching herself. Touching herself purely for Rose’s pleasure, like she was some sort of personal not-safe-for-work model.

Dear lord, she really needed not to think about that tonight, in front of Caroline and Hannah.

Which was a tall order, because Rose had thought of very little else for nearly three days, now.

“We’re making a special kind of macaroni and cheese,” Hannah answered, smiling widely down at Cassie.

“Wait… you do like macaroni and cheese, right?” Caroline asked, her dark eyes widening in faux-alarm.

Rose had to hand it to Caroline; even though she was exaggerating for Cassie’s sake, she also didn’t give even the slightest air of inauthenticity. Very impressive.

Cassie bounced up onto her tiptoes, nodding vigorously. “I do! But – but what, um, why is it special?”

Abbie squatted down to be on Cassie’s level as she stage whispered, “Because you get to put anything you want in it. Everyone’s is going to be different!”

Cassie’s mouth fell into a little o of awe and excitement.

Granted, anything that she was allowed to make her own was sure to excite her. Throw in macaroni and cheese, and it was a done deal.

Before the conversation could go any further, Rose’s common sense slammed into her. She managed to cover up her internal wince with a perfectly trained smile, as she squeezed Cassie’s shoulder lightly in reminder to follow her cue. “Ah – poor manners. Hi, and thank you for having us for dinner.” She rubbed her thumb back and forth on Cassie’s collar again to prompt her. “We should have probably led with that.”

And Cassie nodded, firmly, even as she huffed out a breath. “Hi.”

She tipped her head back to look up at Rose with a smile and lifted eyebrows, like there, I greeted everyone!

Luckily, apparently everyone found Cassie as adorable as Rose did, and a smattering of amused, warm laughter came from all of the Parker women.

“Soooo,” Abbie led, glancing at everyone expectantly, “Why don’t we move all of this inside?”

“Absolutely,” Hannah agreed, and it was so fascinating to see the way she and Caroline both took a few steps back, giving Rose and Abbie space to enter the house. “Come in.”

But they were so in sync with one another, moving and stopping at the exact same time.

Rose didn’t have to urge Cassie at all, she hopped up the single step into the house, promptly offering Abbie the bag in her hand without Rose reminding her.

“Abbie, I, um, I got you this,” Cassie, now having remembered the gift in her hands, pushed it at Abbie again, clearly excited for her to open it.

“For me?” Abbie asked, taking the bag as she moved to sit on one of the built-in benches in the mudroom. “Can I open it now?” She asked Cassie rather than Rose.

Which, ridiculously, made Rose melt inside. Especially because she knew it wasn’t for show, that Abbie really did value Cassie as a person, not just an extension of Rose.

Then again, Rose cast a look at Hannah and Caroline, who were both watching Abbie and Cassie with interest, she supposed it made sense. Abbie loved her stepmother enough to take her name, and she’d been even older than Cassie was now when Caroline had entered her life.

“Yep,” Cassie answered, popping her p, as she leaned in to Abbie with excitement. “Open it!”

Abbie did as she was told, looking into the giftbag. She lifted out the rolled papers that had been carefully rubber banded together by Rose earlier this afternoon.

“That – um, I made those,” Cassie explained, balancing both of her little hands on Abbie’s knees. She turned to look at Caroline and Hannah, arching them a serious look. “There’s one, there’s one for both of you, too!”

“Well, come on, Abbacado!” Caroline urged. “Open those up. I want to see mine.”

Abbie was smiling, even as she rolled her eyes at Caroline. “I’m going, I’m going. Jeez. The impatience.”

The papers were unraveled easily when Abbie slid off the band, revealing – as Cassie had said – three pages.

“This one’s for you,” Cassie took over, directing Abbie to take the one on top. She then took the other two and stared at them for a beat, before she offered the others to Caroline and Hannah. She turned back to tap her index finger on Abbie’s, “’Cuz that – you have soccer.”

Abbie’s was by far the clearest, obviously because soccer was Cassie’s passion. She’d taken some more time with it earlier this afternoon than the others.

Cassie turned to point at Hannah’s. “My mom, she said that you make buildings.” Her daughter aimed an expectant look at Hannah, waiting for confirmation.

Which Hannah gave with a nod. “I do.”

“I explained to her about what an architect does,” Rose felt the need to jump in and explain herself, and then felt like an idiot for it.

She was sure that Hannah and Caroline knew what she was saying… but she couldn’t help this feeling inside, this need to let them know that she was very serious about this. She knew about them, she listened to Abbie’s stories very intently, and she knew very well what they both did for professions.

There was this drive inside of her, pushing her, needing for her to gain their approval.

Hannah gave her a small smile – it was genuine, as far as Rose could tell – as she nodded, signaling that, yeah, she got it. Before she aimed that smile down at Cassie. “You painted me the State House?!”

Both of Abbie’s parents had that same quality – obviously that was where Abbie had learned it from – where they never sounded patronizing, even when they were hyping up a child.

Cassie tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing. “Um… the Fancy Building,” she explained.

Hannah nodded in understanding. “Right, of course.”

Rose glimpsed at the painting again, studying it before she flicked her eyes up in question to Hannah. “You must be good at your job, because…”

She trailed off, not defaming Cassie’s artwork in front of her, but… it was safe to say Cassie was probably not going to be a painter. She was very impressed that Hannah recognized the building, though.

Hannah looked at the painting with a fondness that couldn’t possibly be a lie, before she looked back at Rose. “I have a lot of practice deciphering art. Look at this golden circle at the top,” she pointed out, which made sense.

Ah, so it had far less to do with her job, and everything to do with –

Abbie jumped in, “We were both aware that I wasn’t going to be an artist very early in life. But I was willing to give drawing a try all of those afternoons together.”

“You were always a perfect sport, honey,” Hannah confirmed, and Rose had to imagine that was where this fondness came from.

Like she looked at Cassie’s artwork and was reminded of Abbie when she was little. Which made sense, because Rose imagined that one day – far in the future, when she wasn’t living in the middle of Cassie’s artwork and cleats and toys – she could feel the same way.

Abbie had stood back up from her bench, looking at Caroline. “So, what’s yours?”

Caroline’s lips were pursed as she studied her painting, which was held out in front of her and not held out for everyone to see. She then looked at Abbie, before trailing her eyes over everyone else slowly, landing back on her painting. “I’m…” she cleared her throat. “You know, it’s for me to know. A secret between me and Cassie, actually.”

God knew Cassie loved a secret. Conceptually, anyway. She wasn’t very good at keeping them, but she adored the idea of being sneaky.

Cassie’s eyes lit up, and Caroline did not yet know it, but she now had a best friend. “Yes! It’s a secret!”

Caroline smiled victoriously, offering a hand down low to high-five Cassie, before she turned her painting outward for everyone else. “See?”

Rose pursed her lips, studying the painting seriously. It was undoubtedly the most abstract piece Cassie had created of the day. Which was saying something.

Abbie let out a laugh. “Yeah, and I really wish I could be in on the secret. Maybe one day?” She asked Cassie.

Who frowned in consideration. “Maybe.”

“I’ll take it.” Abbie winked at her, before looking back at Rose. “So… you planning on staying a while?”

It was only then that Rose remembered she and Cassie were still wearing their jackets. And that she had a bottle of wine in her hands.

She offered it to Caroline, who was the closest to her. “My gift contribution of the evening. Unfortunately, not quite as… beautiful as Cassie’s.”

Cassie nodded in agreement as she tugged off her own jacket, which Abbie took from her.

“Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, Rose,” Caroline shot back, studying the label with an appreciative look.

She snorted out a laugh, before she realized Abbie was standing next to her to help Rose out of her jacket. She felt Abbie’s knuckles brush against her spine – through her shirt, but still, she shivered.

“Why don’t we move this to the kitchen?” Caroline suggested, holding up the wine and the artwork. “Hey, you know, we might have some extra frames for these paintings. Maybe we can frame them after dinner?”

“Really!” Cassie’s voice was essentially a squeal at that point.

Her artwork was often featured on the fridge but not framed and hung up.

“You don’t have to do that,” Rose quickly cut in.

Jeez, was this how Abbie had such a strong sense of self? Parents who offered such positive cheerleading?

Hannah looked critically at her painting. “What is this, sixteen by twenty?”

“Good eye,” she affirmed.

Hannah nodded. “I do have some frames in my office upstairs. I’ll grab them and meet you in the kitchen?”

Well, then, apparently the framing business was happening.

Hannah and Caroline both went right about doing exactly what they’d said, Caroline – with Cassie at her side – walking through the doorway and down toward the kitchen, while Hannah split off and jogged up the stairs.

Rose stared after them for another moment, before turning to look at Abbie, who had just finished hanging her and Cassie’s jackets up.

“You okay? It’s weird seeing you so nervous,” Abbie commented, looking at her with such warmth it alleviated a little bit of her anxiety, at the very least.

“I don’t look nervous,” she immediately challenged, frowning.

Ugh, could they see it? Could everyone see that she was nervous? She truly detested the very idea.

“I can see it,” Abbie amended, softly. “But maybe I’m crazy…” she trailed off, knowingly.

Rose rolled her eyes, because obviously they both knew the truth. “I’m okay. It’s not like I’m about to perform open heart surgery,” she scoffed, wanting that to assure herself more than Abbie.

The look in Abbie’s eyes was doubtful, but affectionate. “They’re just my parents. And I know that a lot of people could say that and still introduce you to parents who are, like, shitty. But mine really aren’t.”

“But they don’t exactly like me,” she shot back, because she wasn’t an idiot.

Why would Caroline and Hannah like her? She hadn’t been nice to Abbie in high school. Even if Abbie hadn’t told them back then, Caroline and Hannah were clearly perceptive people, so she was sure they knew they weren’t friends. After they’d had sex in college, Abbie had believed Rose had made her a cheater.

Which also meant they believed Rose was a cheater.

And now, while Abbie was at the most vulnerable time of her adult life – leaving the career she’d been in for almost a decade, starting anew at the school Rose was at the helm of at that! – Rose – not even divorced yet – swept in and set her sights on Abbie yet again.

Objectively, it really wasn’t a good look for her. She could objectively see that.

“Well, they don’t not like you, either,” Abbie countered, her expression achingly gentle. “And they know that I really like you. And my opinion – not to brag – counts a lot around here.”

A wry laugh worked out from her throat, just so… endeared by this freaking woman. “Yes, I’m very aware that your parents adore you.”

Saying it aloud made some of that anxiety return, gnawing at her. It had been obvious even in the few minutes they’d already spent together, even if Rose didn’t already know it.

“So,” Abbie led, leaning in to gently nudge Rose’s shoulder with her own. “What is with the nervous pout?”

Rose was affronted at being accused of pouting, so she immediately cut that right out and pressed her lips into a flat line.

She stared into Abbie’s big, beseeching baby blues for a few beats, feeling this familiar dance inside of herself. This familiar wrestling with opening up and the instinctive feeling of swallowing things back down.

And then she felt Abbie’s fingers lightly – so, so lightly – brush against her own, spurring her on. The simple touch a reminder of what they were doing here.

That this was literally the beginning of everything Rose had ever wanted.

“I’m worried…” she started, trailing off before she swallowed tightly, and pushed through to be honest. “I’m worried that if your parents do make the determination that they don’t like me, that they think I’m not good for you, that it will impact how you see me. Or us.”

There. She said it. She rolled her shoulders back, lifting her jaw sharply as she shook out her hands, like she could brush away that gnawing anxiety.

Abbie reeled back, her eyebrows furrowing before she slowly shook her head. “That’s… yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

“Have you ever been with someone your moms thought was a bad person?” She challenged.

Internally, she was already rolling her eyes at the thought of Daniele. She couldn’t help it, even if she had to grudgingly admit that she hadn’t detested spending time with Daniele weeks ago. At this point, Rose could admit that her agitation with Daniele wasn’t necessarily logical.

But still, Daniele was exactly the kind of person Caroline and Hannah would have loved for Abbie. Both back in high school and now.

She hadn’t ever been a closet-case. She’d never – as far as Rose knew – made questionable moral choices in her romantic life, and certainly not where Abbie was concerned. She was a goddamn pediatric surgical oncologist!

Who would anyone rather have their child be with? The woman that cut cancer out of children, or the woman who’d used wealth and nepotism to step into the shoes of her father at a private school?

“Well, no,” Abbie allowed, answering honestly, drawing Rose back from any spiraling thoughts. Abbie looked out the doorway to make sure no one – Cassie specifically, Rose knew – could see them anymore, before she reached out to take Rose’s hand in hers. “But you aren’t a bad person.”

Rose took in a long, deep breath, letting herself really feel that sentiment. She knew Abbie truly believed that, or this – they – wouldn’t be happening. And it really was heartening, because for so long in her life, Rose had felt so… wrong. Like she was wrong to exist the way she’d been born. Like she was always lying to someone, be it her parents, Nathan, herself, the world at large.

“And my moms are both very smart women; they will see what I see,” Abbie’s confidence shined through in her voice.

Rose admired that about her. She really, really did. This certainty that everything would work out the way she believed it would, because that was right.

Rose didn’t have that same conviction.

And apparently that was clear to Abbie, who shook her head, staring into Rose’s eyes so she couldn’t doubt how much Abbie meant it when she asserted, “Even if my moms don’t come to like and trust you in the immediate future – which, for the record, I genuinely think is going to happen – it’s not going to change how I feel about you. I know who you are, Rose.”

She swallowed roughly, her throat unexpectedly tight, as she squeezed Abbie’s hand.

Something about Abbie knowing who she was made Rose feel more solid, more stable, more sure, than she ever had. Because Abbie did have this unwavering sense of herself, of people around her.

Rose turned to glance down toward the kitchen. She could hear snippets of conversation flowing between Caroline and Cassie, but they weren’t in view.

She rocked up onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Abbie’s.

She’d intended for it to be a quick kiss, just wanting the sensation of Abbie’s mouth on hers. But then she lingered, unable to help the sigh that left her. Abbie’s free hand came up gently cupping Rose’s jaw, stroking her thumb over Rose’s cheekbone.

She couldn’t help but wrap her arm around Abbie’s waist, stepping in closely so their bodies pressed against one another.

God, she’d wanted this – nothing but this – for the last few days.

Sunday morning, unlike Saturday, had been different because she’d woken up snuggled up to Abbie. It had been heart-poundingly perfect –

And cut entirely short, as they’d both woken to the knock on their hotel room door from some of the girls on the team, who were eager to go downstairs and get ready for their tournament.

They’d won – absolutely thrilling, and it had done exactly what Abbie had been hoping when she’d signed them up for this. They’d ended the season feeling excited about their progress and about the next season, rather than demoralized about not making it to any ranked championships – and Rose had hugged Abbie in celebration.

But, of course, it had been very appropriate for public consumption.

Then they’d had the bus ride home, where they’d covertly held hands on their shared bus seat. Really, a dream come true for teenage Rose, even though she’d have never been able to admit it back then.  

And when they’d arrived back at Elliston, Abbie’s moms had been waiting to pick her up. Which was fine, because Nathan was ready and waiting to drop Cassie off at Rose’s.

They hadn’t seen one another yesterday, as Elliston had the day off for a staff development day. Thus, Abbie had been at the staff development, while Rose had been in her office.

Today – election day – the school had no classes, and she’d had Cassie with her at home all day.

After their weekend together – their date night, and the aftermath involving the first time Rose had ever been able to make herself orgasm with only her hand – spending days apart made Rose feel like she was going crazy.

She felt, emotionally, out of control in a way she’d never felt before.

So, that added onto this stressful dinner. She was feeling all of these things going into having dinner with Abbie’s family.

And she poured it all into their kiss, letting Abbie take away some of that stress by the simplicity of allowing her to forget.

Until there was a quiet but unmistakable throat cleared behind them.

Heart leaping to her throat – this wasn’t the position she wanted Abbie’s moms to see her in just yet, and she needed Cassie not to know yet – Rose jumped back from Abbie as if electrocuted. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks at the sight of Hannah, who looked between them with an expression Rose didn’t know her well enough to read.

“Found some frames,” was the first thing Hannah said, holding them up in her hands as evidence to her claim.

Rose wasn’t sure if she was more annoyed or enamored with Abbie, given how nonchalant she was in the moment. She wasn’t blushing – if she was, far less than Rose – and she didn’t appear jumpy. She truly seemed like she hadn’t just gotten caught doing something.

Other than the ridiculously adorable smile she offered to her mom. “Great. I’ll take them for you.”

She slipped past Rose, deliberately closely as she squeezed her waist. A movement that her mom had to have seen.

Then again, maybe it was deliberate. Maybe Abbie touched her like that as a point that she wasn’t embarrassed by this, by them. Which… all right, that made a rush of warmth flood through her, mixing with the anxiety of being caught making out with Abbie by Hannah.

That was it, she realized, as her heart was still racing under Hannah’s watchful – but, admittedly, not judgmental – eye.

The last time Rose had been caught kissing a woman had been the beginning of the most traumatic time of her life. Even though it was almost fifteen years later, even though her asshole father was dead and buried, even though she’d been caught by a queer woman, she couldn’t control that instinctive reaction.

She did her best, though, taking in a long, deep inhale through her nose and holding it in her lungs for several beats.

Abbie tilted her head down toward the kitchen. “We’ve left Cassie and Caroline up to their devices for enough time, I think? Why don’t we see what they’re up to?”

Rose nodded, tightly, more than ready to get this night moving.

She found herself a little alarmed, however, when Hannah kept pace with her, a few steps behind Abbie.

Stiffly, she cleared her throat. “I…”

Should she apologize? That felt absolutely ridiculous; she had nothing to apologize for. Absurdly, though, it was what burned through her. This need to defend herself, to excuse what had happened.

But, no.

She wouldn’t. She refused to do that.

Instead, she pivoted to say, “I imagine Abbie might have already said something to this effect, but Cassie doesn’t know about us. She thinks Abbie and I are friends – only friends. And that we’re having dinner here tonight because of that. And because she and Abbie are friends, too,” she added, because Cassie was firmly insistent on that.

Hannah was quiet, looking at her with thoughtful gray eyes, and Rose felt acutely like she was being observed.

She frowned. “Not because I’m ashamed of dating Abbie,” she clarified, shaking her head.

Not in a million years.

But… even though Cassie liked Abbie, and even though Rose – emotionally – was ready to declare her feelings for Abbie to the world, the reality was that there was only one person who she had to put before Abbie. Before anyone.

And she was a short, temperamental, huffy, know-it-all, much like her mother could be.

“I am in the midst of my divorce, but it really is all settled. Just waiting for paperwork, now. But it hasn’t even been a full year, yet, since we told Cas–”

She jumped slightly when she felt Hannah’s hand land on her wrist. Her touch was shockingly… soothing. “I understand. Really. I do.”

Relief filtered through her, and she held Hannah’s gaze with her own, for the longest amount of time she’d ever actually done so. Hannah used her touch on Rose’s wrist to slow them down before they reached the kitchen, just as Abbie turned into the wide, open doorway and out of their sight.

Rose only knew the general outline of the situation from Abbie – terrible father who was maybe the only person on earth Abbie hated, her mother left, Caroline was her divorce lawyer, they fell in love, happily ever after – she felt very much that she wanted to know more.

“Falling for someone can be terrifying enough, without bringing your child into it.”

Rose found herself nodding, managing a small smile. “Well… from what I hear from Abbie, you had somewhat of a fairytale situation.”

Hannah blinked at her, gray eyes widening, before she reached up and drew her hand through her hair. She let out a cross between a sigh and a laugh, as she said, “And that is exactly how I want Abbie to remember it.”

Surprise trampled through Rose, and she knew it had to be clearly etched into her face. Even from her memory the first time she’d seen Caroline and Hannah at Elliston, they’d seemed perfect together. They always did.

Hannah quickly shook her head. “It – that isn’t wrong,” she stressed, quietly, before she rolled her lips, seemingly searching for how to explain herself. “Caroline is… from the minute I met her – long before she and I were embarking on a personal relationship, keep in mind – I believed she was as close to perfect as a person could be.”

A small, unbearably sweet smile played on Hannah’s lips, and Rose was absolutely fascinated. It only occurred to her in this moment that she’d never actually experienced this. Hearing or seeing the firsthand account of a happy, loving sapphic relationship and how it had developed. How it had come to be.

“And, believe it or not, she has never not lived up to that,” Hannah continued after a moment, clearing her throat. “But even so…” Her eyebrows furrowed, deeply. “It wasn’t easy. Emotionally. To be ready. For – everything. For all of this.” She gestured around them, at this gorgeous house that seemed so filled with love every time Rose had stepped foot in it. “And it was made a lot more terrifying having Abbie in the picture, because she looked at Caroline with stars in her eyes, long before even I did.”

Rose could see that she and Hannah had certainly struggled in different ways, in their personal lives. She’d been very lucky, in having Nathan as her husband as opposed to someone like Abbie’s father. And… she bit back the inclination to shrink inward, especially when talking to someone like Hannah.

“I don’t have any reservations about being with Abbie. Emotionally,” she asserted.

And she wasn’t sure, really, if this was Hannah’s place. Rose didn’t really believe she owed Abbie’s parents any justification about their relationship.

But, god, she wanted them to approve of it. Even if Abbie wouldn’t let it get to her if her parents didn’t like Rose, Rose wanted Caroline and Hannah’s approval from somewhere deep inside.

Not only as Abbie’s moms, but as accomplished, successful, happy older sapphic women. The first ones she’d ever really known.

“But,” she continued, angling her jaw up. “I am concerned about Cassie. The stars-in-the-eyes thing is very real for her when it comes to Abbie, and…”

She trailed off, unable to speak aloud her concerns about Cassie, about her parenting. Definitely not right here, right now.

Strangely enough, and in a way she’d never have expected, Abbie’s mom might be the only person Rose knew personally that might understand her feelings on introducing Abbie to Cassie in a different capacity.

Nathan “understood” so far as, they were both Cassie’s parents and had already discussed wanting to manage this delicately.

But… Nathan wasn’t the person who’d thrown a bomb into their family unit in the last twelve months. He didn’t put that on Rose – and Rose worked very hard to try not to put it on herself – but it was objectively the truth.

Right here, right now, as they entered the warm and delicious-smelling kitchen where Cassie and Caroline were chatting only a few feet away, wasn’t the place to delve deeper into it.

Feeling a little, uncharacteristically and unwelcomingly, nervous, she softly cleared her throat. Keeping her voice down, she murmured, “Do you think… could we talk about that, some time?”

God, why did asking Hannah that make her feel so damn nervous?

Scratch that; she knew why. There were several reasons. She just hated feeling this way.

But eventually, that might go away. Maybe she could get to a place where she felt more comfortable with Hannah and Caroline, where she felt totally at-ease here in this house, in a way she’d only been able to dream about as a teenager.

Hannah studied her for a few seconds, and Rose refused to fidget. Then, she smiled. Something that didn’t look like Abbie’s smile; it was smaller and a little more reserved, but no less warm. “Absolutely. I’ll give you my number before you leave. Maybe we can get a coffee sometime soon.”

Oh. Well. Rose blinked. She hadn’t been expecting such an expedient plan to be made.

But, okay.

“Mom! It’s – come here!” Cassie called to her from somewhere deeper in the kitchen.

Abbie poked her head out, glancing between the two of them. “Are you two going to join us…?”

Her tone was light, but her eyes were intent and genuinely questioning as she looked directly at Rose. She’d never really been in a situation where someone did that, before. Looked after her. Nathan would have her back, so to speak, when it came to her parents. But she never showed any vulnerability around her parents, and he never knew the extent to which she’d been scarred by them.

“Yes, we are,” she affirmed, holding Abbie’s gaze with hers. Wondering if Abbie could read her well enough to know that Rose was telling her that everything was fine.

And even though it was a small thing – she knew it was a small thing – she couldn’t help the way her stomach fluttered when Abbie’s smile broadened. Because apparently, yes, she could read Rose that well.

Hannah squeezed Rose’s wrist gently, in a move that startled her but was strangely… comforting? Before she turned her attention to Abbie, teasingly rolling her eyes. “Rose and I were simply having a conversation; is that not what tonight was all about?”

Hannah led the way into the kitchen, shooting Rose a small grin over her shoulder. There was something in it that was very encouraging, and she did feel bolstered by it.

There was definitely still progress to be made, but Rose felt that having a good moment with Hannah even before dinner was served was better than she’d expected.

***

Still, Rose wasn’t sure what the evening would have been like if Cassie hadn’t been with her.

But she decided that she was grateful that her daughter was here tonight. Because she felt nervous enough, and that was without being on the end of any pressing questions. With Cassie here, the conversation over dinner was a lot lighter, a lot easier.

They didn’t go into anything too deeply. She didn’t know if they would have otherwise because she didn’t have a firm hold on who Abbie’s parents were just yet. They obviously had manners and knew how to work a conversation, so maybe they wouldn’t want to interrogate Rose during this first official dinner together. Then again, they’d pressed for this in order to “get to know her better” so…

Dinner conversation was easy. Rose was still a bit tense, but it had been easy. Talking about work, school, upcoming plans. The only time she’d gotten tripped up had been when Caroline had asked about what they’d done after the tournament was over this weekend.

She’d choked on her water, somehow wondering if Caroline knew, but she’d seemed to be genuinely making conversation.

The great thing was that it was certainly obvious that Caroline and Hannah loved children, and Rose errantly wondered if having one gave her some brownie points.

Minus the whole, still in the middle of a divorce aspect, obviously.

“Me and my mom did art all day today. I had the day off school,” Cassie announced proudly, as they were putting her paintings in the frames.

“That’s right, you did,” Caroline commented. “It’s a very big day today.”

“Yep,” Cassie agreed, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration as she focused, because Hannah was guiding Cassie putting on the back of her frame into place herself. “’Cuz it’s a lection day.”

Rose’s lips tipped into a smile. “Election day,” she gently corrected, as she had multiple times when explaining to Cassie why she had no school.

Cassie simply nodded, as if she hadn’t said anything incorrectly. She looked up at Caroline, as she informed her, “It’s, um, it’s the next president.”

“Yes, it is.” Caroline smiled back at her, before she flicked her gaze toward the clock. The way the excitement sparked through her was visible, even to Rose who didn’t know her very well. “And soon, the polls will close. It’s going to be a big win.”

Cassie’s eyebrows drew down. “How do you know who’s gonna win?”

Caroline nudged her playfully. “Just a hunch.”

“We’ll see,” Rose muttered, dubiously, folding her arms over her stomach.

And she didn’t expect the way Abbie, Caroline, and Hannah’s eyes all turned to land on her, with varying degrees of confusion – Abbie – to something that looked… personally affronted? – Caroline.

Rose nearly reeled back a step at the intensity, but she didn’t let herself. Instead, she cleared her throat and took a large sip of water, hoping it would stop the uncomfortable churning in her stomach. Well. The night had been going fine.

She peered at her glass, relieved to find it drained after her gulp. “Ah – I’m going to go to the kitchen and get some more water.”

She gestured toward the back of the house, given that they’d migrated into the den for the post-dinner artwork framing.

“Just give me a sec, I can get it for you. Or with you,” Abbie added quickly, looking up at her as she held both of her hands over the ends of one of Cassie’s masterpieces. The edges had started curling inward, and Abbie had adorably taken it upon herself to prevent it from showing up in the frame, pressing out the paper so it laid flat, and holding there.

Rose would deeply enjoy that.

Being so close to Abbie, the way she’d been sitting adjacent to her at dinner, was akin to a form of torture. Pleasant torture. So close that she could see every perfect detail on Abbie’s face – the light brush of freckles over her nose, the way her soft hair gently brushed against her shoulders and how it bounced as she moved, the way she got a little line that wasn’t quite a dimple but was mesmerizing to her when Abbie smiled.

But they were sitting with Cassie and Abbie’s parents, and Rose couldn’t do anything about it.

And she had the feeling that if Abbie accompanied her to the kitchen, things would turn out similarly to how they had in the foyer, when Hannah had walked in on them earlier.

So, though it pained her, she shook her head, already walking toward the doorway. “I’ll just be a minute.”

She paused after refilling her water, leaning against the counter as she stared out at the kitchen table. It had been cleaned off after dinner, but… Rose wasn’t seeing tonight in her mind. She was picturing that night back in high school, when she’d had dinner here.

She wished she could go back in time to let her younger self know that this was in store for her in the future. Then again, she didn’t. Because there was a chance that knowing there was a light at the end of the tunnel might have made the last decade far worse.

“Everything all right?” Caroline’s voice jarred her out of her thoughts as she walked into the room, casting Rose a questioning stare as she made her way to the sink to wash her hands. “Glitter,” Caroline explained with a grimace. “It’ll get you every time.”

The corner of Rose’s lips slid up into an understanding smile. “Yeah, Cassie only has access to anything glitter at my house if it’s already mixed into art supplies.”

No loose-glitter was a hard rule for Rose, and she’d maintained it very firmly. Nathan had not held that boundary after Rose had moved out, and he was still finding glitter around his house three months later.

“I can’t help but notice that you’ve seemed a bit stressed tonight,” Caroline mused, her voice quiet and unassuming, but sharply perceptive at the same time, as she shut the tap off, just before Rose excused herself.

Caroline’s posture was relaxed, but the look in her eyes was anything but. She wasn’t tense at all, but her eyes – Rose knew she didn’t miss a single thing.

There weren’t many people she felt objectively intimidated by, but Caroline was one of them.

Instinctively, she wanted to deny it. But, more than that instinct, she very much wanted to make a good impression.

Rose had worked so hard through her adulthood – reaching the final pinnacle when her father had died – of letting go of needing the approval of “adult” authority figures. But she didn’t want Caroline’s approval because she was someone that commanded a room. At least, not only because of that.

She wanted it because this woman meant the world to Abbie. She wanted it because Caroline had somehow become cemented in her mind as this formative figure, unbeknownst to Caroline.

If Caroline hated her or felt she was unworthy… sure, Abbie might say it wouldn’t change her mind. And Rose believed that Abbie meant it.

But it didn’t alleviate her concern. And it would mean so much to this undefinable piece inside of her.

“Do I?” She asked, keeping her voice light.

“Mm,” Caroline hummed, as she gave Rose a measuring look. “A bit.”

“I’m not.” She caught herself, coughing quietly. “Not… really.” Ugh. She reached up, carding her hand through her hair, as the words fell from her mouth in self-defense, “I did vote for Charlotte Thompson. For the record.”

Caroline’s eyebrows rose as she tilted her head slightly, obviously having not expected her comment. “I’d assumed so,” she commented, mildly. “And I’d definitely hoped so.”

Rose felt her stomach clench with discomfort. But she pushed herself to explain, “For most of my life, I didn’t believe that it would be possible. It’s not that I don’t want it to happen. I do. I want it; I want it more than you could possibly understand.”

The emotion lacing through her voice made her almost embarrassed. But she wanted Caroline to understand her, if only through something like this. Even if Rose wasn’t going to divulge her entire life story.

“I just,” She rolled her lips, tightly, gathering herself. “I just need to see it happen to really believe that it could.”

There were so many more terrible people out there than someone might think. Rose knew that to be inarguably true.

And she loved that Abbie existed amidst it all. She loved that Abbie was so inherently good and that she also believed most people were. Rose never wanted to be someone to dim that light; she bathed in that light. She loved that Caroline and Hannah and their relationship and this house full of light and support and love created that.

But it didn’t mean she could change what she knew.

Caroline slowly nodded. “That’s a fair take.”

Rose slowly exhaled, relief melting through her.

“Hey, Elliston,” Caroline’s voice was coaxing, both firm and cajoling, and it worked like a charm to make Rose look at her directly, head-on. “When Charlotte Thompson wins, you owe me a celebratory drink.”

Caroline arched her a look, holding out her hand for a shake.

Surprised, she stared down at her hand for several beats. It was so… strange. So strange to Rose, the way Caroline and Hannah behaved. It wasn’t abnormal, technically, and she knew that. But it was so at-odds from any adult in her life.

She slid her hand into Caroline’s. “All right. Deal.”

***

She settled into her bed a few hours later, receiving the notification:

The election is called: Charlotte Thompson is the President elect.

She blinked down at her phone, getting hit by the maelstrom of emotions harder and faster than she’d imagined.

Her throat felt so tight, and she closed her eyes, muttering, “Fuck you.”

The vitriolic anger raced through her veins, as she repeated, “Fuck you, Dad.”

No, Rose didn’t believe in any sort of afterlife. But if she was wrong? She hoped that her father was rolling in his fucking grave, and she hoped he could hear her.

Charlotte Thompson – a lesbian, who was living a full life married to another woman – was the going to be the fucking president. And on a micro-level, Rose had dinner tonight with Abbie – who she was dating – and Abbie’s moms.

Yes, he would be rolling, and she reveled in knowing that.

“Fuck you,” she muttered again.

She almost didn’t realize her phone was vibrating in her hand, as she felt the emotions vibrate through her. Which meant she almost missed Abbie’s phone call.

Snapping her eyes open, anticipation raced through her as she quickly answered, “Hello?”

“You’re awake!” Abbie’s voice was pure joy.

And it broke through this dark blanket that had taken her over. Which was good; she needed this. She needed to not get lost in that anger, and she grabbed onto Abbie’s energy through the phone and let it pull her back up. “Yes. I do like that you called me at midnight even though you didn’t know that to be true.”

“I took a chance. It paid off.”

Rose settled back against her pillows, a smile sliding onto her face even as she rolled her eyes. “So it did, Lemon.”

“I assume you saw the news?” Abbie asked, the excitement in her tone. “You saw that we are going to have a lesbian president?”

Rose’s breath caught as the words were said out loud, the reality slamming into her all over again.

“I did,” she whispered. She didn’t mean to whisper, but that’s how the words escaped her. “I,” she had to pause, to clear her throat, “I guess I owe Caroline a drink.”

“You do?” Abbie asked, amusement coloring her voice.

“Mhmm,” she sighed out, tapping her fingers against the mattress. “I do. She is… alarmingly discerning.”

“Yeah,” Abbie easily agreed. “I mean, her literal job is making people feel comfortable going through the worst experience of their lives.”

“A divorce isn’t always the worst experience of your life,” she lightly hit back.

“Yeah,” Abbie agreed again, that warmth edging into her voice, before she pointed out, “Then again, Caroline doesn’t really handle many of those.”

“Good for her.”

Someone had to handle that, and dealing with people while they went through personal crisis, while they worked through messy, complicated emotions and finances and custody… could never be Rose. It was good to know ones own temperament.

“I can let you go. I know we have work tomorrow, and I’ll see you then,” Abbie acknowledged, her voice going so soft.

Even though she hadn’t expected the call, she frowned. “No, you don’t have to go.”

“It’s after midnight.”

“I’ve known how to tell time for years, now. Decades, even.”

Abbie chuckled. “I guess I just wanted to call and… I don’t know, share the good news with you. Share in it with you.”

Rose felt those damn butterflies, the ones that Abbie inspired in her so easily, act up. “I’m glad you did.”

She settled back against her pillows, deeply not wanting Abbie to hang up. She didn’t even really have anything to say; she hadn’t known they’d be talking more tonight.

So, she decided to start there. “I… fine, I can let you go. It is late,” she had to concede. “I’ve never,” she paused, working her jaw back and forth, feeling so vulnerable. “I feel this need, lately, to talk to you all of the time. To be around you. Even more than how I felt before.”

Which was saying something, because she’d obviously had feelings for Abbie for much longer than how long they’d been dating.

“Well… that is usually what it’s like in the beginning of a relationship,” Abbie gently informed her, a soft laughter in her words at the start, but it faded by the end of her sentence.

“Huh,” Rose mused, drawing her lips down in consideration.

On one hand she felt a little amazed by that. On the other, she felt a little embarrassed by having Abbie explain this to her like she wasn’t a fully grown woman that was in the middle of her divorce, with her child sleeping down the hall.

So, this was why people were so fucking obsessive when they entered into a relationship. Who knew?

“I guess I should be more apologetic to all of the people I’ve judged through the years for being so caught up in their feelings when embarking on a relationship,” she sourly acknowledged.

She felt very satisfied by the laugh that Abbie let out, having predicted that response.

“And this is how you’ve felt, when starting other relationships?” She couldn’t help but ask.

She genuinely wasn’t fishing for some egregious assurance; she was well-aware that Abbie’s romantic life had been starkly different than her own. She simply really wanted to know Abbie in that way, wanted to know every detail about her. Even including if she’d felt this way before, and how intense, and for how long.

Abbie hummed, thoughtfully. “Sort of, yes.”

“Sort of?” She echoed, before she frowned, “I don’t want you telling me something just because you think I want to hear it.”

In fact, nothing could appeal to Rose less.

“I’m not,” Abbie insisted, sounding genuine at the very least. “Yes, this is that same feeling, and yes, I’ve sort-of felt it before. But…” Abbie trailed off, her voice going quiet and thoughtful, and anticipation filtered through her until Abbie finished, “It’s also different. With you.”

Her heart skipped in her chest. That soft feeling combined with this darker one, this sense of victory that also filtered through her. Maybe that aspect was wrong, but she didn’t care. “Good. I like that.”

She very much liked that.

“I know we haven’t had the same trajectories in life, Rose. And I know that I’ve been fortunate enough to have more… typical… dating experiences.”

“I love the reminder,” she dourly, jokingly, said.

“But,” Abbie cut in, and Rose swore she could hear her rolling her eyes, “Being with you is different for me than anything I’ve experienced, too. You should know that.”

That soft feeling tinged with those sharp, satisfied claws worked through her again, and she settled deeper into her pillows. “Different how?”

“Different as in, well, for starters – I think I’m starting to realize that your little jealousies might turn me on,” Abbie started.

A slow, feral smile shifted into place on Rose’s lips, a tendril of heat curling through her. “That’s great, because I can’t imagine I’ll ever not be a jealous person.” When it comes to you was implied.

“Throughout the last ten years, when I’ve dated it’s always been… new. Meeting someone new, going through the typical motions. The superficial stuff, the beginning of going deeper. But, like we’ve talked about, I didn’t really have the time to devote to someone. With you, things are deeper from the start, and I love that. I didn’t know how much I could possibly love that. With you, I – Rose, I’m increasingly convinced that if you’d swept into my life somehow while I was still in my pro career, I’d have done whatever I needed to do to make it work. Like I said this weekend: if I came back into your life and missed an opportunity with you – even if you say that would have been impossible – I think it would haunt me forever. There is nothing forgettable about you, Rose. Even in the years I was mad at you for what happened in the past, you lingered in me.”

She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until it escaped her in a whoosh.

But apparently Abbie wasn’t done. “Even feeling similar beginning-of-something feelings with someone in the past, I wouldn’t want to stay up with them when I have to be up for work in less than six hours. I couldn’t; I had to prioritize getting enough rest. But right now, I don’t want to go. I wanted to cold call you at midnight because I wanted to hear your voice. So what if I go to Elliston tomorrow and need to drink three cups of coffee by ten in order to keep my eyes open? I just… want to talk to you.”

Would Rose survive it? Could she possibly survive being with Abbie now that these feelings were mutual?

If not, she’d die happy.

Even as she yawned, she felt wide awake. Zapped with energy from Abbie’s words. “I’ll bring you one of the cups of coffee, how about that?” She offered.

“I’ll bring you the other two,” Abbie promised. “What a great excuse to come in and see you.”

“You don’t need a real excuse, you know,” she found herself murmuring.

“I know. But it’s nice to give a reason to Heidi while she gives me that stare like she knows I want to jump you.”

“The only reason you aren’t jumping me is because of your own rule,” Rose reminded her.

Abbie laughingly groaned. “It’s hard to have ethics.”

She couldn’t help but think of their night in the hotel this weekend, when Abbie’s ethics had been tested. Technically, she’d held onto them. But… god, what a perfect test it had been.

Roughly clearing her throat, she asked, “If you’re going to keep us awake so late, what did you want to discuss?”

“I would like to start by telling you how much I wish I could have kissed you when I walked you and Cassie back out to your car tonight,” Abbie’s voice was an octave lower, sounding very similar to when she’d directed Rose into touching herself.

She knew that. Because after Cassie had adorably waved and shouted her goodbyes to Caroline and Hannah, who’d stood on the porch to give Abbie some privacy in her own goodbyes, Abbie had helped get Cassie situated. And then they’d shut the door, and Rose’s back had been against her car, and Abbie had leaned in close to her, but not close enough. And Rose had been able to see the hunger in Abbie’s gaze, the wanting.

She recognized it because it was precisely what had pulsed through her.

“You know, Lemon, I’m thinking about instating a rule for any late-night phone calls…” She murmured.

“And what rule is that?”

“If you call after midnight, you should probably have to prove to both of us that you can keep up your streak.” Rose bit at her bottom lip, pressing her legs together, holding her breath.

Abbie’s ragged exhale hit her ears and made her shiver. “It would be my pleasure.”

“I’m hoping it’ll be mine.”

In fact, Rose was sure it would be.

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