The Game Changer - chapter 22 (Patreon)

A week later than intended, but if you think migraines that won't go away even after taking my prescription meds is going to stop me?

Well, you'd be half-right.

But I have a to-do list a mile long, and a fervent desire to keep coming back to my characters, so nothing's stopping us, especially now that I've been migraine free for almost 24 hours. And this chapter ended up being just about 12,000 words...

Alas - happy Pride!

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Thanks for letting us drop in. Well, glad you were still home, is more like it,” Nathan tacked on.

His voice was just barely audible over Cassie’s alternating humming/singing from the arts and crafts room.

Rose hummed in returned. “I should have made sure to pack one of her crochet kits, so this one’s on me.”

Cassie – a true jack of all trades – had decided fairly recently that she was going to get into a new craft, and she’d developed a little ritual around it. Rose typically wouldn’t have forgotten to pack one of her cute little kid-friendly crochet packs she’d been using to learn.

But –

Nathan wiggled his eyebrows, dropping his voice, “Well, you’ve been a little preoccupied in the last few weeks, hmm.”

Her expression went flat, even as she felt her cheeks heat slightly.

Which, for the record, Rose did not appreciate. She never appreciated this blushing feeling. This sensation like she was being… not exactly called out, not exactly “caught,” not exactly teased. But something around all three of those things.

However, she couldn’t deny it, because that was precisely what had happened.

“That’s why I was surprised you were still around,” Nathan continued.

“Yes, I picked up on what you were getting at,” she dryly informed him.

Lord knew Nathan wasn’t exactly a subtle person.

He, predictably, was undisturbed by her tone. “You know, since you and A-B-B-I-E–”

“Why are you spelling her name?”

“Because of Cassie, obviously,” he whispered back.

“She knows how to spell A-B-B-I-E.” Rose rolled her eyes at him, even as she couldn’t quite bite back the way her lips curled into a small smile. “She was very insistent on making her a huge homemade card at the end of the season.”

Cassie had practiced writing Abbie’s name multiple times before she’d taken to putting it on the actual card. It was moments like those where Rose really saw herself in her daughter.

“Anyway,” Nathan continued, “Since you two are basically going out during every available evening. Having little phone calls on the nights you aren’t seeing one another–”

Rose huffed out an exhale, narrowing her eyes at him. “I mentioned that to you once.”

And maybe she shouldn’t have?

This dynamic with Nathan that was shifting into place was… different. It was the first time in Rose’s entire life that she didn’t quite know how to approach their dynamic. Sure, there had been times in their past when things between them had changed, and Rose had to re-find her balance.

When they’d gone from friends to more, in high school. It had been an adjustment, but one that mostly was… fine. The only thing that had changed for her was having more physically affectionate moments. Different, but not awful. Fine. Easy enough.

When they’d gotten engaged, in college. That had been a slightly bigger hurdle. She’d been coming down from sleeping with Abbie, and had to adjust her worldview. She was going to be married. She and Nathan were going to be partners, in a very real, very legal sense of the word. But, again, once she’d made the shift – it wasn’t that difficult. It wasn’t all that different, really, from how she’d been living.

And when they’d separated a little less than a year ago – well, that had been a huge dynamic change in a legal sense. But while Rose had grappled with guilt around hurting Nathan and changing Cassie’s life, she’d also felt so… authentic. In a way she’d never felt before.

Besides, the change into a friendship with Nathan without a marriage/romantic relationship wasn’t that difficult. In a way, they were reverting back to the state of being that they’d started out in. The phase of their relationship that had always made sense, the phase of their relationship that they truly belonged in.

Nathan knowing she was a lesbian while she was single, however, was very different from Nathan knowing she was a lesbian while she was dating.

Dating? In a relationship? Regardless of the correct verbiage of whatever it was she was doing with Abbie right now, it made Rose feel the most out-of-sorts she’d ever been in terms of her relationship with Nathan.

He’d taken everything she’d thrown at him in stride this past year, and she’d always be appreciative of him for that. He truly was her best friend.

But that was also what made the last few weeks feel so strange.

Nathan was her closest friend, so when they talked – and they weren’t talking about Cassie or work – she wanted to talk about Abbie.

She’d never in her life felt the urge to talk about her feelings like this. She’d thought the very idea was so damn silly.

And now, she was thirty and experiencing this for the first time, and the person she was closest to, the person she had in her corner, was her very soon to be ex-husband.

Rose didn’t know what to do with that. She also hated not knowing how to operate.

A small smile played on his mouth. “I think it’s sweet. I mean, I’m not going to lie and say that it’s not a little crazy, you know, to see you all…” He paused, then batted his eyelashes and giggled exaggeratedly.

Rose glowered at him. “I do not do that.”

She might come close, though. Galling to admit. But if Rose was anything, she was fucking for real with herself.

He breathed out a laugh. “Close enough. Anyway – didn’t you say you were going to a lesbian bar? When’s that happening?”

“You are entirely too eager for me to be involved in the queer community. It’s, actually, strange.”

“Well, excuse me.” He held up his hands. “But if the roles were reversed, and I had come out to you, wouldn’t you find it in your heart to be excited for me to explore that side of myself after so long?”

Rose pursed her lips in thought, tilting her head back and forth. But it wasn’t a long deliberation. “I’m not as good of a person as you are.”

If she’d been in Nathan’s shoes – not gay – and Nathan had come to her to reveal that he was gay, had known for the entirety of their relationship, and that he wanted a divorce…

Rose felt confident that she wouldn’t harbor resentment toward him. Because she loved Nathan, and she wanted him to be happy, the same as he did for her.

But she also wasn’t sure how much she’d want to know about his new, emerging romance updates and queer community involvement.

“Besides, you’re a lot more community-oriented than I am,” she pointed out, and they both knew the accuracy of her statement.

Even when she’d been on the soccer team, she hadn’t necessarily found it fulfilling to become a part of a larger group. Just because they’d all loved soccer didn’t mean they’d had other things in common.

Rose was much more of a solitary person by nature.

“But yes, we’re going out tonight. To the lesbian bar,” Rose confirmed.

Not only because Nathan was so invested and was excited for her, but because she couldn’t help it. She liked talking about things she was doing with Abbie.

And, now that Nathan had brought her attention back to it, Rose narrowed her eyes, her mind drifting back to the intense deliberation she’d been in for… far longer than she cared to admit.

Nathan cocked his head to the side. “What’s with that face you’re making?”

Flattening her lips into a line, she shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Rose, come on,” he needled. “You think I can’t tell when you’ve got something on your mind? Other than the whole lesbian-thing, I’d say I’ve known just about everything about you for a long time.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, she shrugged and admitted, “Frankly, I don’t know what I should share with you, at this point.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

For several seconds, Rose could only stare back at him in disbelief. “What I’m comfortable with discussing with you, and what you’re comfortable with hearing about might very well be two different things when it comes to this specific topic.”

The topic of her love life.

“Look, I’m comfortable,” he assured her. “I can do girl talk with you.”

Rose merely arched her eyebrows at him. Girl talk? She wasn’t even going to deign to repeat it aloud.

Even so, he stared right back at her, unabashed.

And she found herself wavering.

She and Abbie were going to Moon & Vine tonight, a lesbian bar. And Rose… hadn’t been to a lesbian bar.

It wasn’t as though she was nervous, per-se. What did she have to be nervous about? She wasn’t going there to try to find a woman.

It was just – it was everything else. Rose was a lesbian. She was in this relationship with Abbie. This was her life, this was happening. For some reason, though, going to a public place that was filled with other queer women was its own thing.

Even if she didn’t speak to another person, her mere presence in the bar was a statement. If only to herself, if nothing else.

And when she’d gone out with Jennifer, she’d ended up discussing it with Abbie. How she’d never really dated before, how this was very new to her, even if she wasn’t someone prone to anxiety and nerves.

“If you are desperate to know, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time today debating what I’m going to wear tonight,” she muttered, folding her arms over her chest.

So, there it was.

For a few seconds, Nathan simply stared at her once more, before he shook his head, and started laughing. “God, it really is so weird, seeing you be so – aflutter. I really thought for basically ever that you were just unflappable.”

There it was, the way her cheeks warmed again, and she narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m not… flapped. I’m making a strategic decision.”

Nathan clearly did his best to sober himself, coughing sightly as he reigned in his laughter. “Okay. All right. You are so non-flapped when it comes to Abbie Dalton. Uh, Parker. That’s why you’ve spent your day wondering what to wear tonight on a date with her.”

Before Rose could snap at him, he shook his head, finally managing a genuinely serious expression.

“All right, it’s out of my system. Let me see the options.” He pushed off of the wall he’d been leaning against, standing up straight.

She hesitated. Because… it was so odd. And what was more than that, Rose didn’t consider herself someone who wouldn’t know what to wear when going out with anyone. But this wasn’t anyone, it was with Abbie, and it was for them to go out to a lesbian bar. Two things that, a year ago, Rose wouldn’t have been able to fathom. In fact, if – for some wild, crazy reason – someone had mentioned that combination to her a year ago, she’d have bitten their head off for even putting the thought in her mind.

So, “What the hell,” she murmured, turning on her heel, gesturing for him to follow her up the stairs.

She pushed the door open and walked in, gesturing to the final options she had narrowed down on her bed.

It was now between a classic little black dress, a red dress that was a little more risqué given the neckline and how much of her cleavage would be on display, and then her more casual option, with a pair of high-waisted pants with a pin-striped shirt that she’d wear deliberately unbuttoned for Abbie to take note of her bra.

The bra had already been picked out and finalized; she could imagine the way Abbie would look at her in it, and she hadn’t had a second doubt about that all afternoon.

Rose turned to face Nathan, who’d paused only a step into her bedroom. He was peering around with obvious curiosity, which was fair enough, given that this was the first time he’d been in here. She’d never had a bedroom that Nathan hadn’t been in before. Weird.

Other than herself and Cassie, no one had been in here.

Not even Abbie.

Pointedly, she cleared her throat, gesturing at the clothing.

Nathan nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms and approached the bed with a critical eye, analyzing her choices.

Regardless of the oddness of the situation, she couldn’t help but also be amused; Nathan was not quite a fashionista. His typical go-to was in telling her that “anything she’d wear would look great” – and it was only not obnoxious because she knew he’d really meant that.

He tapped at his chin. “Right, right. So, the goal of the outfit is – what? Are you trying for more casual or a little va va voom?” He glanced at the red dress. “Or more than a little?”

“The goal is,” she hesitated, just for a moment. After all, he’d been the one to tell her that she should tell him whatever she was comfortable with. “To drive Abbie as crazy as possible.”

Nathan snapped his head toward her, obviously surprised. “I thought – I mean, I guess you didn’t say it, you just implied it – that you two haven’t… quite…”

It was sweet, she supposed, that he was attempting to be delicate.

“We haven’t had sex, no,” she confirmed. Rose slid her gaze back over the outfits, as she mused, “And I want to make her feel as out of her mind about it as I do.”

Because Rose really did love who Abbie was. As annoying as it should be, she loved that Abbie stood by her convictions. There were far too few people in the world, many of whom Rose had come across, who didn’t.

But holy fucking hell, was she going out of her damn mind.

She wasn’t sure how much longer she could handle it all without going absolutely insane with desire.

She’d thought that she’d understood wanting and yearning in her youth.

She’d been wrong.

Back then, she had desired Abbie. Intensely and fervently, and so frequently. But it had been so different than it was now, for a multitude of reasons.

First, because of how much she’d done to push it away, how much she’d tried not to feel it. Not that it had worked, but she’d tried. Second, related to the first, because while she’d wanted Abbie, it hadn’t made her feel good. She hadn’t often given herself over to that feeling. Let it settle, hot and thick, through her veins. And third, because she’d spent all of high school and college – all of the time Abbie had been a part of her life, even abstractly – without really knowing what it would be like.

All of the sex Rose had experienced up until her senior year of college, up until that night, had been… as if out of some sort of manual.

It made her wince, feeling a stab of guilt given Nathan standing right here in front of her.

But, truly, it had nothing to do with Nathan in the least.

Now, Rose knew.

She’d had that night with Abbie in the past. And they’d done everything but actually touch one another in the last couple of weeks.

Abbie had been the cause of Rose’s orgasms repeatedly, and it was becoming a fucking problem.

All of the sudden, Rose felt like she was some sort of sex-crazed teenager, in a way she’d never actually been in her teens.

And if she was going to feel this way, then she was damn sure going to make sure Abbie did, too. The only solace – other than the orgasms – was knowing that Abbie was as affected as she was. Was hearing Abbie’s heavy breathing, the strain and heat in her voice.

She might respect Abbie, but that didn’t mean she was going to make this easy on her.

Her lips twitched into a dark, satisfied smile at the very thought. Yes, she wanted to make Abbie question her very sanity.

“So…” Nathan’s voice dragged her back to reality. He was looking at her with an expression that could only be described as fearful. “You know, I’m actually considering myself lucky that you didn’t feel this way about me. I think it would have been lethal to me, back in the day.”

Because Nathan was being so upfront, Rose could allow herself to accept that with a smirk. No, she’d never done anything to ramp up Nathan’s desire for her; absolutely no need for that.

“The red dress,” he stated without hesitation. “If that’s what you’re going for, then go with the red dress.”

***

She would hand it to Nathan on this one fashion choice: he’d nailed it.

Rose didn’t bother to even pretend or attempt to bite back the smirk that slid onto her face as she walked into the bar in front of Abbie – deliberately slowly – feeling those electric blue eyes on her.

“Cat got your tongue again?” She asked, turning slightly to arch Abbie a look over her shoulder.

Abbie blinked back at her, after her gaze traveled up from Rose’s ass. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were dark, and Rose felt her own heated response immediately. The way her stomach clenched, then dipped, and – it was such an incredible feeling. Unrestrained, unrepentant desire.

She’d spent so much of her life not experiencing this, and pushing it away whenever she felt a flicker of it. Even mentally, when she’d been married to Nathan, she hadn’t gone there in her mind, because it had felt like such a betrayal to him, to their marriage. Even, somehow, to herself.

And what she loved seeing reflected back at her from Abbie was that Abbie didn’t hide her desire, either. Never backed away from it or pushed it down.

She stared right back at Rose like she was this close to devouring her.

Which was exactly how she’d stared when she’d picked Rose up.

“Just still taking in how you went all-out tonight,” Abbie answered. “Especially because, you know, Moon & Vine isn’t necessarily, like, a super dressy sort of place.”

She gestured around with a flourish.

The bar wasn’t crazy-busy, but busy enough. Especially given that it was barely seven in the evening. And, to Abbie’s point, no one else that she spotted in the quick perusal of the other patrons looked even close to how dressed up Rose was.

But no one else in here was trying to drive Abbie to the point of insanity the way Rose was.

Probably, anyway.

Regardless, Rose glanced over her shoulder at Abbie. “And if we were going to a dressy sort of place, I wouldn’t have worn something this revealing, Lemon,” she informed her, honestly.

Rose had a great deal of dressy outfits, on a sliding scale of formalities and elegance. She’d rarely worn anything like this or her little black dress, because… why would she? The purpose of this dress was exactly what she was wearing it for tonight.

Other women might like to dress this way for themselves, for how it made them feel. Rose felt – fine in it. She did feel good about herself in this dress, but she felt just as good about herself in most of her clothing. For her, wearing something like this was specifically to get a reaction like Abbie’s.

In many ways, it reminded her of that night in college. Wearing that short, tight skirt to Abbie’s room? No, Rose never typically wore clothing like that, because it didn’t empower her more than any other clothing in her closet, and she wasn’t going out, trying to attract anyone.

Rose kept her voice down as they walked toward the bar, telling Abbie exactly that. “In case my outfit didn’t make it obvious to you even without words, I’m wearing this for you.”

They were so close because of how Abbie had ducked down to be able to hear her, Rose could hear the way Abbie’s breath hitched in her throat.

Good. Satisfaction continued to simmer pleasantly inside of her, as they sat at two seats at the bar. Even though they hadn’t discussed it, and even though they’d yet to go to a bar together, they both stayed turned toward one another, their legs firmly pressing together.

She tilted her jaw up, holding Abbie’s gaze, as she murmured, “If you’re going to play dirty while in this waiting game, then so am I.”

Abbie reeled back, her mouth dropping open in obvious offense. “Play dirty?! What does that mean? I’ve never played dirty in my life.” She placed a hand over her chest in exaggerated offense, blinking widely at Rose.

And, all right. With those big, blue eyes, and that earnest, trustworthy expression, most people wouldn’t question Abbie. Most people, anyway.

“Okay, Miss Honor,” Rose scoffed back. “What do you call showing up to my house wearing that suit?” She challenged, because… fuck, she’d thought entirely too much about that.

It was almost offensive to her, how easily Abbie pulled off looking so hot. All of the soft skin on display, with the solid muscle underneath…

Tonight, Abbie hadn’t shown up in the same outfit, but was still continuing on her A-Game. She wore a deliberately oversized blazer and dark jeans over a sleek, form-fitted black bodysuit, and boots so fashionable, Rose was almost surprised Abbie owned them.

The truth for Rose was that Abbie really could show up in a pair of shorts and a sports bra, and she’d probably find her just as attractive as she did in this.

It was just always such an interesting reminder when Abbie did go all-out like this, reminding Rose of who Abbie was, now. Reminding her that while Abbie was, in many ways, the same core of a person she’d known years ago, that she’d grown into a self-assured, self-possessed, successful woman.

And she’d grown into only having eyes for Rose. That feeling was so heady, so hot, as it slid through her veins.

“I call that being prepared for a date,” Abbie shot back, sounding both pleased and exasperated. She held Rose’s gaze for several beats, though, her expression growing more serious. “But… I do want to be super clear? You don’t have to wear anything like this to ensure that all of my attention is on you. All of the time. I can barely stop looking at you when we’re at the school.”

Rose’s stomach swooped again, this time less in coiling heat, and more with butterflies. Especially at the intensity in Abbie’s stare, the raw desire there that told her in no uncertain terms that Abbie was being truthful.

“What can I get for you tonight?” The bartender’s voice broke in.

Rose huffed out an impatient breath, turning her attention to the woman. “Espresso martini.” She pursed her lips. “Thank you.”

“I’ll just have a club soda with lime, please. And can we also have an order of the pretzel bites?” Abbie’s tone was far warmer. Surprise, surprise.

“You got it,” the woman responded, warm and friendly right back to Abbie.

Rose didn’t miss the slight lingering gaze, either. Be it Abbie’s friendly disposition, the way she looked, the chance that the bartender might recognize her, or a combination of all three – Rose narrowed her eyes.

“We should have stayed in tonight,” Rose mused after they received their drinks. “No interruptions.”

Abbie’s laughter filtered around them, nudging Rose’s knee with her own. “You were the one who said you’d like to see what a gay bar is – and I quote – ‘all about.’”

How terrible – Abbie remembered everything about her, everything she mentioned even off-handedly, apparently. Even as she was pleased by that, she held her chin high.

“And…” Rose looked around them. “Yep, as I could have suspected; the same as just about every other bar.”

Abbie’s hand fell to Rose’s bare thigh as she chuckled, her fingertips stroking over her skin. The way Rose shuddered was entirely out of her control.

This was the sort of thing she was talking about. With one small touch from Abbie, she was ready to go. Her body was – primed. Like she was constantly lying in wait to pulse to life.

She supposed this was the sort of thing most people experienced in their high school and college years. The rampant wanting and unchecked desires. The things she’d had to keep such an iron-clad grip on, had to make sure they stayed in check.

“At the very least, when we’re at this bar, and I touch you like this,” Abbie’s voice dropped, skating over Rose, and they both stared down at her hand. At those long, capable fingers. At the way Abbie flexed slightly, her touch spanning so much of Rose it was as though Abbie owned her. The very tips of her fingers brushed against the hem of Rose’s dress, and she had to bite back whatever sound nearly escaped the back of her throat. Abbie brought her eyes back to Rose’s. “When I do this here, no one is going to give us a dirty look. There are no gross men around who are going to make comments.”

Gently, teasingly, Abbie scratched her fingernails slightly down her thigh.

This time, Rose couldn’t entirely swallow the whimper. Or the way her thigh jerked slightly, before she controlled herself. Even so, she had to curl her hand into a tight fist.

“This is why we should have stayed home.” She was far too breathless to sound as reproachful as she wished she could, but her voice did sound gravelly.

“You really think that’s wise?” Abbie asked, dragging her touch down to Rose’s knee, and she knew Abbie could both see and feel her responding shiver. “Because… I’m not so sure.”

“Abbie. If you keep doing that, we are going to have a problem,” Rose… warned? Threatened? Begged?

She didn’t want Abbie to stop. She just knew that she wouldn’t be able to keep a level head if Abbie kept going.

What she knew without a single doubt was that she was already wetter than she was comfortable with while wearing a dress this short.

Abbie held Rose’s gaze, deliberately trailing her fingers even slower… before she grinned – a sharper, darker glint than Rose was used to seeing on Abbie’s face, and it made her stomach tie into tighter knots at a hint of everything that was to come… at some point in the future – before she diligently brought her hand back to her own lap.

Thankfully, because Rose’s breathing was starting to come out choppier, and they were in public, and she needed to not be a puddle of arousal in a bar.

Abbie took a long pull from her club soda, and Rose followed the line of her throat as she swallowed. Those blue eyes closed slightly, before she placed her glass back down, and cleared her throat, before turning her focus back to Rose.

“For the record, it’s not just because of the… physical aspect that I thought it would be good for us to go out tonight,” Abbie informed her, her own voice hoarse.

Rose slowly sipped her espresso martini. Even if she hadn’t loved the lingering look from the bartender, she would admit that the woman had made a great drink. “Oh?”

Abbie nodded, looking like she was about to bring her hands back to Rose’s thighs – if only for a connecting touch, not meant to tease – before she flushed, and a self-deprecating smile tugged at her lips. “Well, once you mentioned the bar, I knew I wanted to bring you here. If you tell me you want to go somewhere or try something, I’m going to at the very least try to make it happen. You mentioned a lesbian bar, and so…”  

“My wish, your command?” Rose drawled.

But Abbie didn’t laugh or smile or even roll her eyes. She stared right back at Rose. “Yeah, that’s kind of the idea.”

There wasn’t a hint of teasing or humor reflected back at her. No, it was abundantly clear that Abbie meant those words, and that rocked right through her, dimming the sound of the bar into some strange background noise.

How was this possible? How was this her life?

“Because you’re all about romancing me,” Rose managed to keep her tone level, even as her heart skipped a beat.

Abbie didn’t look away for even a second. “No. I mean, yeah, that’s a part of it. But… I just really want you to have everything you want. And if I can make that happen in some way? Even better.”

Rose’s breath caught, everything inside of her freezing up.

She’d… she’d literally been married, and she couldn’t think of anything more romantic ever being said to her. Especially in the way Abbie spoke the words, like a promise. Like – like even though they were in the beginning of this, even though they were technically still embarking on something new, that she really would do whatever it took to make Rose happy. To give her what she wanted.

She realized quite suddenly in this moment that she didn’t know, really, how to process that. How to really take that in. How did someone appropriately respond to hearing that pledge from the person they’d always wanted?

“I… feel similarly. For the record,” she responded, hearing her own response sound slightly stilted, but also meaning it with everything she was inside.

Abbie’s smile was sweet and understanding. Because she knew Rose, and that only added to this feeling taking hold inside of her. She wasn’t sure if she felt overexposed or the right amount – maybe somewhere in the middle. Especially for being somewhere so public.

“Okay,” Abbie started, clearing her throat before she pointed toward the corner of the room where an old-fashioned jukebox was set up. “Let’s do music trivia. You pick a song, and I have ten seconds to name it, and then I’ll do the same.”

And there Abbie was, giving them something to do so Rose didn’t have to stay steeped in the barrage of feelings, wondering how to process through them.

“You really want to challenge me to a game?”

“I have a feeling I’ve been more exposed to different music than you have. I have listened to so many different playlists on in the locker room.”

“And I like to listen to a variety of music while I’m working on my art pieces,” Rose shot back, feeling that sharp, competitive edge working through her. “You don’t scare me, Lemon.”

When the words left Rose’s lips, she took a beat to wonder at them. For so much of her life, Abbie had scared her. More specifically, the feelings she’d had for Abbie had been petrifying, far more than Abbie herself.

But now, as she sat in a gay bar, in the most revealing dress she’d ever worn chosen purely to captivate Abbie’s attention for the night, fear was far from her mind.

***

An hour later, Rose was feeling very vindicated by her success.

She’d beaten Abbie by one song, in their lighting round. Which had consisted of them giving the bartender full control of the jukebox, while both she and Abbie competed to know what song came on.

The woman had ended up playing a song from one of the children’s shows that Cassie watched, clinching Rose’s victory.

Suffice it to say, she’d come around to the bartender. She could be magnanimous in her winning.

Abbie, unsurprisingly, was magnanimous in her losing.

Especially when Rose reminded her, “This victory was hard-fought. Do you know how much children’s programming I’ve sat through?”

“I can’t imagine you watching kids shows,” Abbie mused, tilting her head in thought, obviously trying to picture it.

“It’s certainly not my preferred pastime,” Rose muttered, humorlessly, making Abbie bark out a laugh.

Rose wasn’t going to put on a false front and claim to enjoy most of anything she and Nathan allowed Cassie to watch. They both monitored her allowed screen time and made careful selections, especially around shows that had an educational component. But damn, it did not mean the songs were anything she wanted to have stuck in her head.

But she watched with Cassie, still, because she remembered her own parents having no interest in sitting with her, spending time with her. And she wanted Cassie to look back and know Rose valued spending that time with her.

She was going to give her daughter a little bonus gift, though, for allowing Rose to have this leg up.

“Yep, there’s the attitude I’d have expected.” Abbie chuckled before she slid off her stool. “Okay, enjoy your winner’s circle. I’m going to run to the restroom; be right back.”

Abbie leaned down and pressed a kiss to Rose’s cheek, before spinning to continue on her way to the bathroom, as if it was all one fluid motion. Rose didn’t know why she was still surprised when Abbie displayed how smooth she could be. But she consistently was, and it always made her stomach flutter.

Turning to face the bar now that she and Abbie weren’t sitting face-to-face, she lifted her martini and took a victorious sip. Still good, even though she’d somewhat forgotten about it while they’d been playing the game.

After a minute, she heard someone say “Oh my god!” before a chair or a stool clattered to the ground, and she – along with everyone else at the bar – snapped their attention across the bar.

Where Abbie stood, clearly having exited the bathroom to her left, now surrounded by a handful of women. Including one who’d obviously jumped from her seat.

Sometimes – more than sometimes – it was very easy for Rose to forget that Abbie was actually famous, now. At the very least, she was famous to a certain crowd. And, well, the bar full of queer women seemed to be the exact place Abbie would be recognized.

In fact, if she thought about it, it was a little surprising that it had taken this long for Abbie to be approached.

She met Abbie’s eyes over the shoulder of the woman Abbie was talking to, giving her a small, amused smile. Abbie didn’t falter from whatever she was in the middle of saying to the women, but Rose liked that her real attention was on Rose, even if she was – to no one’s surprise – being very polite.

Rose even liked that Abbie was so polite, she decided, even while on their date.

Even so, she took her final sip of her martini and gestured at the bartender to grab the check. Sure, she liked that Abbie was polite, but she was also going to wrap the evening here up by making it very clear that they would be leaving together.

***

Was ending the night by having Abbie come into her house the wisest thing Rose had ever done?

Maybe not.

Was it going to stop her?

Definitely not.

After all, her goal for the evening had been to drive Abbie crazy. As crazy as Abbie made her feel.

And, as she had Abbie pinned against her front door – having pushed her there mere seconds after they’d walked in – keeping one of her hands tightly fisted in her soft, blonde hair, while the other tightly gripped at her hip, she could hear the sounds escaping Abbie’s throat. She could feel them, vibrating against her lips, her tongue.

Though this had been about driving Abbie wild, Rose couldn’t deny that she was just as affected. Especially when Abbie’s hips jerked against hers, and she groaned from the back of her throat.

It was so – she was so –

Rose groaned, pushing herself away. “I’m going to go crazy. You’re going to drive me crazy.”

“Me?” Abbie asked, trying to catch her breath. “We walked into your house and you shoved me against the door, started kissing and biting at my neck, and I’m going to drive you crazy?”

Rose narrowed her eyes. “I said what I said.” With that, she pointed, vaguely, a few feet away, deeper into her house. “Now, go… there. Just – I need to breathe air that isn’t full of you.”

Abbie, with her neck slightly red from Rose’s mouth, held her hands up in a defensive position, and skirted around Rose, moving into her hallway, lingering at the small table Rose had set out for her keys and mail.

It took Rose a few attempts to unclasp her heel with the way her fingers were trembling. Even though Abbie had taken several pointed steps away from her, this heat lacing through Rose’s entire body wasn’t dissipating in the least. She –

“Rose,” Abbie’s voice sounded half-strangled out of her throat. “What is this?”

Rose looked up to see what Abbie was referencing, easily recognizing the paper in her hand as the one she’d received in the mail, that had been sitting on the top of her open pile. She switched to undo her other heel, bracing herself against the wall with her free hand. “It’s my Judgment of Divorce Nisi,” she answered, arching Abbie a look. “As it states, clearly at the top.”

“Um, yeah, I see that.” Abbie turned to face her fully, holding the paper up. Even though it was clear that she was trying not to hold it too tightly, the paper crinkled slightly under her fingers. “How come you didn’t tell me about it?”

Rose finally managed to unclasp her second heel, lowering it to the floor, as she met Abbie’s stare, nonplussed. “I didn’t think it mattered?”

Abbie’s mouth fell open, and she waved the paper back and forth, before she used her other hand to gesture between them. “I – you – we… divorce!”

Rose huffed out a laugh. “Eloquent.”

Abbie pushed the paper toward her in response. “I’m so wet for you that I’m dripping down my own thigh right now. Eloquence is not necessarily my strong suit in this state of mind.”

Fuck. Rose shuddered, feeling like her body had turned into one single pulse at Abbie’s words. Even so, she managed to grit out, “The divorce won’t be absolute for another couple of months.”

As if she hadn’t considered these logistics! She thought it was more than fair to assume that Abbie, with her standards and ethics, would care about only the final step in the divorce process.

“Caroline is a divorce lawyer; I know what the nisi period is.” Abbie put the paper back down on the counter, smoothing her fingers over the corner of the page that she’d wrinkled. Rose was captivated by the way her hand shook slightly. “But… it means that a judge granted your divorce.”

“I know that. But it’s not technically final.” She reached up, dragging her hands through her hair. Abbie was the one who’d come up with this rule, and now she was acting like Rose was the crazy one for respecting it?!

Abbie walked back to her, closing the gap she’d deliberately created only a minute ago. Coming right back into Rose’s orbit, so she was breathing her in.

“Rose.” Abbie was so close to her, when she spoke, her hot breath washed over Rose’s lips.

She shivered, angling her head up, doing everything she could inside to temper her expectations. “Abbie.”

“Your divorce was granted. Now you’re just waiting for the final decree. Essentially, just the paperwork.”

Had anyone ever sounded sexy when saying the word paperwork before? Rose highly doubted it.

“I didn’t think that would matter,” she pointed out, feeling half-crazed with it, as her breathing grew labored, her hands at her sides in tight fists. “Abbie, if we start something here and then put the brakes on it, there is a good chance I will defy science, and I will explode,” she warned, firmly. “If we–”

Abbie’s mouth on hers swallowed whatever she’d been planning to say. Which was fine, because the second Abbie’s lips were on hers, demanding and hot and bruising, all other thoughts fled her mind.

The moan she let out vibrated through Rose’s entire being. She brought her hands up, scratching them into Abbie’s hair, taking tight fistfuls, holding Abbie to her. This kiss was like finalizing a contract, and Abbie met her beat for beat.

Rose breathed out a surprised yelp when Abbie’s hands slid from where she’d been tightly grasping her waist, then dipped down low and gripped the backs of her thighs. Abbie let out a soft grunt as she held tight and then lifted. Rose surged up as best as she could to assist her, but it didn’t really seem like Abbie needed her assistance.

She felt branded by each of Abbie’s individual fingers on her skin, lightheaded with it.

“Showoff,” she breathed against Abbie’s lips, before nipping her teeth against her.

“Not showing off,” Abbie corrected. “Just want to be as close to you as I can. Want me to put you down?”

She could hear the underline of taunting in Abbie’s voice, like Abbie somehow knew how into this Rose was. And she really, really was, already grinding into Abbie’s taut stomach, her hips jerking against her in small, uncontrollable movements.

She growled back at her, linking her heels tightly behind Abbie’s back, wrapping one of her arms around her shoulders. Rose pulled back just enough to blink open her eyes, meeting Abbie’s heavily lidded stare. “Bring us to my bedroom.” She squeezed her thighs, hard, around Abbie’s waist. “Now.”

The satisfaction she felt watching Abbie’s eyes flutter closed at Rose’s own strength made her lightheaded. The entire turn of their evening made her feel lightheaded.

The only other time in her life that her blood had thrummed like this, that her pulse had raced like this, had been that night with Abbie in college. And even then, it had been – it had been different. There had been different desperation, everything Rose had felt went unspoken, and she’d been both certain and uncertain at the same time. Not uncertain enough not to go through with it, but she hadn’t had a clue what she was doing. Not a clue, but she’d still wanted it to be good for Abbie, to be memorable.

She used the hand she still had in Abbie’s hair to crash Abbie’s mouth back to hers, needing to taste her.

This was happening. This was really happening.

Fuck, Rose was so wet. So, so wet. With the way her legs were wrapped around Abbie, her pussy was pressed against her stomach. And every time Abbie walked up a step, Rose felt so – much.

Her clit rubbed against her thong, and she clenched so desperately against the emptiness inside of her.

“I can’t wait to feel you,” she murmured against Abbie’s lips, their kiss growing needier, a little messier, and Rose fucking loved it.

She loved that she could feel how hard Abbie was gripping her, how she knew she’d be bruised by her touch.

Breathless at all of the visions in her mind, everything she wanted to do to Abbie and everything she wanted Abbie to do to her, Rose tugged Abbie’s head back, bringing her lips back to Abbie’s pulse-point. Feeling it race against her lips, because of her.

She scraped her teeth against Abbie, tasting her.

Then she found her back crashed against the wall, Abbie’s mouth on hers, tongue stroking against Rose’s. She dimly heard one of the pictures or artworks she had hanging on the wall crash to the ground, but Rose couldn’t bring herself to care at all.

It could have been an original Picasso, and she wouldn’t be able to give a damn if it was clattering down the steps.

Rose strained against Abbie, arching into her, rocking her hips. She needed more. She needed everything.

She squeezed her thighs around Abbie again, murmuring against her lips, “Bedroom. Now.”

Abbie moaned against her, acquiescing as she pushed them away from the wall, climbing the final few stairs and then moving down the hallway in hurried movements. She pressed Rose’s back against the door, pushing it all of the way open, and didn’t hesitate to walk closer and deposit Rose onto her bed.

She landed on her back, breathless and aching, pressing her thighs tightly together as she stared up at Abbie.

“I’ve been dreaming about having my mouth on you,” Abbie murmured, unbuttoning and unzipping her pants, before she paused, running her gaze over Rose. Waiting for Rose’s next move.

Rose was sure as hell done waiting for this.

“Take your clothes off,” Rose rasped out, staring so intently at Abbie, she wondered how it was possible that her clothes hadn’t simply burned off of her very person. “Now.”

She was, in every sense of the word, greedy for it. Greedy for more, for everything.

She felt like she’d been deprived of this. And not simply of being with women, of living authentically, even though that was true, too.

But Rose knew in her bones that if she’d been with other women in the last nine years, it still wouldn’t change how she felt right now. This was about Abbie, specifically.

She’d spent nearly a decade starving for this.

Abbie very obediently obliged, sliding her pants off, before she took off her bodysuit, standing in front of Rose in her black bra and underwear. Her nipples were so clearly hard through the thin material, and Rose’s mouth watered.

“Take those off, too,” she demanded, curling her hands into tight fists into her comforter.

Abbie looked very hot wearing her matching black set. Some other time, maybe Rose would indulge in that more.

Right now, she didn’t want Abbie wearing anything in her bed.

“I’d love to tease you about how needy you sound right now,” Abbie murmured, holding Rose’s gaze with her own as she slid her underwear down her perfectly toned thighs.

God.

Fuck.

God.

“But I think you’re going to find that I feel the same way,” Abbie continued, reaching back and undoing her bra, before she dropped that to the floor as well. Standing gorgeously, perfectly, bare. “And I hate to be a hypocrite.”

“Abbie. Come here,” she growled out, because she couldn’t even hear what Abbie was saying, couldn’t make sense of it over the way the blood was pumping through her veins. Over how loud it was in her ears.

Abbie obliged, climbing onto the bed, bracketing Rose with her body.

Rose was still in her dress, but that hardly mattered right now. Not when the bottom of the dress was essentially shoved up to her hips, so Abbie’s leg that slotted right between them was pressed against the length of Rose’s own. Not when she felt Abbie’s thigh against her soaked pussy – yes, she had a thong on, but it barely did anything.

In fact, at this point, the lace provided her with a bit of friction as Abbie grinded down into her.

“Oh my god,” Rose hissed out, dropping her head back with a long, low groan, her eyes briefly fluttering closed as her hips jerked up, uncontrollably, into Abbie’s.

Abbie rocked her hips down against Rose again, sending those sparks shooting through her body once more. “You’re so fucking wet. We’ve barely even really touched yet, and I can feel you sliding down my thigh.”

Rose dug her nails into Abbie’s back, dragging them down over the lithe muscle. Feeling how Abbie shifted under her hands, and she felt her clit twitch. “Weeks. I’ve been this way for – weeks,” she managed to grit out.

It was the least embarrassing thing in the world for her to admit.

And… really, she’d been waiting for this for much longer. This had only been a possibility for the last month, but she’d ached and yearned for this for years. In the place in her mind she couldn’t visit.

Rose rocked into Abbie again, unable to stop herself.

For the last several weeks Abbie might not have been the one touching Rose, but she knew exactly what she’d driven Rose to. Starting in their shared hotel room, in their phone calls, the night down in her kitchen. Abbie knew exactly what she did to her.

This hadn’t been Rose’s plan. She’d had so many thoughts around what she was going to do when she finally had Abbie like this. And most of then centered around her being the one to make Abbie come, first.

But – but she couldn’t stop herself.

How could she? She wondered, as she groaned and rolled her hips up into Abbie’s, pressing down on her thigh, her cunt empty and wanting.

The woman she’d wanted for so long was all slim muscle and warm skin, pressing her down into the mattress, while she slid her lips along Rose’s neck. Abbie had catalogued every spot that she’d discovered made Rose shudder, it seemed, because she hit them all.

“Touch me,” Rose demanded, hoarsely.

She felt Abbie’s thumb rub over the material of her dress in warm circles, sending goosebumps over Rose from the point of contact.

She didn’t wait for Abbie to move of her own volition, even though she knew she would. But she literally could not wait.

Impatiently, Rose reached down and grabbed the hand Abbie wasn’t using to balance herself with, tugging it down between them.

With her hand over Abbie’s, she widened her legs and pressed Abbie’s fingers against herself. Her eyes snapped closed, her head falling back against the bed, as a long, guttural moan escaped her.

Finally. Finally.

Abbie didn’t waste any time, sliding her thong to the side and pressing two fingers deep inside of her, grinding the palm of her hand against Rose’s clit. Every nerve ending in her body felt like it came to life, begging for more.

She only realized she was saying that aloud – “More. More.” – when she felt Abbie smile against her ear, as she started moving.

Abbie slid her fingers out, before pressing back in, starting a fast rhythm that had Rose gasping.

“Do you remember – fuck – how you believed you could only come with a vibrator?” Abbie asked, rubbing the heel of her hand against her clit.

Rose half-moaned, half-cried out, gripping the back of Abbie’s hand so tightly, holding her in place. She didn’t want Abbie to fuck her, anymore. She thought she did, but this was all she wanted.

She wanted to fucking come, and she didn’t want it dragged out.

“How long is it going to take you to come while you use me like this?” Abbie asked, her hot breath washing over Rose, making her shudder, her hips buck roughly up into Abbie’s.  

She was beyond words, now. She couldn’t snap back at Abbie, she couldn’t answer her honestly, she couldn’t do anything, except for feel her. Except for feel the orgasm hurtling toward her.

And she couldn’t possibly feel embarrassed about how quickly it was happening, about how utterly beyond her control it was, because she’d waited for this for so. fucking. long.

“Abb-ie,” she managed to pant out, digging her nails sharply into Abbie’s back as she fell into her orgasm.

Really, fell.

Typically when she came, she felt like she was gliding over a cresting wave. It was a tension reliever, it was good, it relaxed her.

But this – fuck, this wasn’t that.

This was a free-fall. This… this was Rose being vaguely aware of the sounds escaping her, the way she shuddered so hard she didn’t feel like she had any control over her body.

Abbie stayed with her, beat for beat, rocking her hand into Rose’s clit, keeping her fingers buried inside for Rose to clench against. Dragging her orgasm out as long as it could possibly last.

When the orgasm started to fade, she felt dazed by it. She was both wrung out, but also still wanted more. Even though she couldn’t remember the last time she’d come so hard, she wanted more, wanted everything Abbie could give her.

Abbie hummed softly against her, pressing a sweet kiss against her neck, before she slowly slid her fingers out. “Can you handle more? I want to make you come in my mouth.”

Hearing Abbie’s voice snapped Rose right back into the headspace she’d wanted to be in. The one she’d planned to be in tonight, in which she got to really have her fill of Abbie.

Opening her eyes, she hooked her leg around Abbie’s at the same time that she wrapped her arms around her, Rose flipped them so that Abbie was on her back. She straddled Abbie’s waist, staring down at her, licking her lips.

“Yes, I can handle more,” she murmured, bringing her hands down to Abbie’s stomach.

Digging her nails in slightly, she dragged her fingers down, sighing when she felt Abbie flex against her.

“But it’s my turn,” she sharply informed Abbie, arching her a look. She reached out and took Abbie’s hands, pressing them down into the bed, because she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to maintain as steadfast if Abbie reached for her. “So right now, you stay there. You do what I tell you to do.”

Her gaze was already skating back down Abbie’s body, before she forced herself to look back into Abbie’s eyes. “Okay?”

Abbie’s pupils were blown, and she nodded, breathing heavily. “Yes. Okay. Whatever you want.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Before she got the more she did so desperately want, before she allowed Abbie to decimate every single one of her senses, she was going to get her fucking fill.

Because Abbie looked like some sort of artwork brought to life right here in her bed. Some gentle curves, mixed with her impeccable musculature. The most gorgeous, perfect form a human being could have, in Rose’s opinion.

Without meaning to, Rose rocked down against Abbie, hissing in a breath. Watching the way Abbie dropped her head back, her breasts were heaving with every sharp breath she took. With the high color in her cheeks, Abbie looking as though she’d been the one to have an orgasm, rather than cause Rose to have one.

And she fucking loved that.

Scooting back so she was straddling one of Abbie’s thighs, she impatiently pushed at her other so Abbie opened her thighs, and allowed Rose to look at her. A choked sound left her throat at the very sight. Abbie, dripping wet, for her. All for her.

Whatever tenuous thread Rose had been hanging on by snapped, and she simply gave in.

Leaning down, she took one of Abbie’s nipples into her mouth, laving her tongue over her. When Abbie arched up against her, her hips lifting and taking Rose with her.

She felt like a woman starved. Because she was.

And now, it was time to feast on every inch of Abbie Parker that was available to her.

She planted open-mouthed kisses across Abbie’s chest, wrapping her lips around her other nipple. Feeling it tighten impossibly harder in her mouth, as Abbie brought her hand up and took a handful of Rose’s hair.

“Rose, god,” Abbie cried out when she took the tip of her nipple between her teeth, tugging slightly.

She felt Abbie shudder under her, her hips jumping and starting a continuous rhythm, searching for more.  

Every inch of Abbie was hers. It was quite literally her dream come true.

Rose had thought – foolishly – that she’d be able to take things slower. That she’d be able to take her time.

But how could she possibly?

She slid the hand she’d had gripping Abbie’s thigh up, tracing over her slit, and her fingers were instantly covered. Rose’s eyes fluttered closed again at the sensation of being covered by Abbie’s heat, and she started moving down Abbie’s body on a single-minded mission.

“I’ve waited for this for a very long time,” Rose whispered, reverently, as she licked and kissed and placed random bites over Abbie’s stomach and hips as she moved.

She flicked her eyes up at Abbie, a trill of electricity buzzing through her when she saw that Abbie’s eyes were still open, staring at Rose’s descent.

“You’ve already done it,” Abbie reminded her, panting through her words. “In college.”

“That was different.”

She’d been so uncertain, for one. Not that she had any more experience sleeping with women now than she had then, but she was far more confident in herself, in her sexuality.

She hadn’t let herself go there, back then, in her mind. Hadn’t let herself think about what it would be like to be the cause of Abbie’s pleasure. And she’d never been with a woman, so she hadn’t known.

That night had been so many things to her, running through the entire spectrum of her emotions.

As she settled between Abbie’s thighs, she felt it all hit her. The hunger, the significance, the emotion. She could see how Abbie’s thigh was already twitching slightly, but she didn’t use the hand in Rose’s hair to move her where she wanted, the way Rose likely would have done.

“Different?” Abbie echoed. “You – you made me come so hard back then, I saw stars. I was so upset about how everything played out because you–” Abbie cut herself off with a moan as Rose started pressing two of her fingers inside of her.

“Keep talking,” she ordered, her voice rasping out of her throat. She felt enthralled, every part of her being hung up on this, on how Abbie remembered that night.

Even so, she slid her fingers knuckle-deep into Abbie, craving being able to feel her. Rose’s own breathing hitched when she felt the way Abbie clenched around her, like she was desperate for Rose to fuck her, as desperate as Rose was to do it.

“Fuck,” Abbie groaned. “I – I thought about it so much. I wanted… I wanted more, because you’d felt s-so good, even though you were so – ah – hesitant–”

Abbie cut herself off with a long, keening moan as Rose started moving, curling her fingers deep inside.

“I was hesitant, because I could barely believe I was there, able to do everything I’d wanted to do to you,” Rose murmured, watching her own fingers as she pulled out of Abbie, seeing the way she dripped down her palm.

She remembered so clearly, how it had felt. Wanting to do this to Abbie, wanting not to hesitate, but she’d been filled with hesitation.

“I didn’t know the best way to do everything I wanted to do to you,” she continued, dipping her head down and licking around her fingers, rather than merely staying transfixed by the sight.

“Rose. Rose, holy–”

A feral sort of satisfaction took her over, as she looked back up at Abbie. Only willing to pause for the briefest of moments now that she’d gotten a taste. “But now, I’m not so concerned.”

With that, she dove back in.

She’d been so unsure back then, because she’d had one night, and she’d never done it before. But it had to count.

Tonight… this was just the beginning. And she wasn’t barely-an-adult living under anyone’s thumb, anymore. This was her life. And this was only the first in her making Abbie come apart under her tongue.

She continued to lick around where she had her fingers buried in Abbie, tasting her, feeling Abbie’s wetness on her cheeks and her chin, relishing in being covered in her.

All of the sounds Abbie made her muffled by her thighs pressed against Rose’s ears. Rose couldn’t help the way she rolled her own hips down against the bed, moving in time with the way Abbie rocked continuously, demandingly, against her face.

She pressed a third finger in, curling them when she realized that made Abbie’s leg start to twitch.

If Abbie had thought about Rose after they’d had sex in college, she was determined to make sure Abbie thought about nothing and no one else when it came to sex, now. She felt a vicious determination to make sure it was her and only her on Abbie’s mind, and that was that.

With that, she moved to Abbie’s clit, curling her tongue over her. She needed to feel Abbie come in her mouth, more than she’d ever needed anything. Starved for it, in a way she’d never been starved for anything.

“Oh – fuck – just like yes,” Abbie’s words fell from her lips, tripping over themselves, as Rose could literally feel the tension in her winding tighter and tighter.

When Abbie came for her, Rose was pretty sure she had a mild orgasm, herself. Because she’d never felt such intense pleasure, secondhand.

Feeling Abbie’s walls tighten around her, gripping her fingers inside until Rose felt like she belonged there, a part of her. Like she was designed to bring Abbie pleasure in this way.

She licked at Abbie’s clit, slowing her movements when she felt Abbie’s body completely relax into the bed.

She didn’t want to stop. She didn’t want to disconnect from Abbie, at all. She wanted to keep going, to have her like this, as long as possible.

So much so that, she felt viscerally against the way Abbie pushed at her shoulders, breathing out a groan. “I can’t – just, wait.”

She did stop, immediately, when she heard the rawness in Abbie’s voice. Pushing herself up, she straddled Abbie’s waist again, feasting now on the satiated expression etched onto Abbie’s face.

Rose had done that. She was responsible for giving Abbie that feeling.

A surprised yelp escaped her when Abbie reached down and gripped her hips, tugging Rose with such a strength she had no choice but to move with her. Abbie pulled her up her body, Rose grasping at the headboard before she fell forward.

“Abbie, what–”

Abbie only stopped when Rose’s knees landed on the bed on either side of her head. Her heart hammered in her chest, the exhilaration rushing through her as she stared down, meeting Abbie’s eyes with her own.

“I told you that I was going to have my mouth on you the first time we had sex,” Abbie informed her, leaning up to press a lingering kiss against Rose’s thigh.

She didn’t even realize Abbie had found the zipper on the side of her dress until she felt it come undone.

“Off,” Abbie whispered against her, before dug her teeth into Rose, making her eyes briefly roll back. “I want to be able to see you, not your dress, regardless of how good you look in it.”

Rose released the headboard to rip the dress off over her head, tossing it… wherever in her bedroom. She was fairly certain she no longer looked good in the dress; she was sure that she looked utterly wrecked in the best way possible. The dress was wrinkled, had been maneuvered around every which way, was definitely soaked from her.

“Happy?” She bit out, arching a look down at Abbie.

Which – fuck, nearly did her completely in. Abbie looking up at Rose from between her thighs was… that was a sight that could launch a wet dream for so very many lesbians, Rose was positive.

“Ecstatic,” Abbie affirmed, then wasted no time in reaching back to grab Rose’s ass, yanking her down to her mouth.

Rose bowed backward, her mouth falling open in a silent shout. Or was it a real one? She actually had no idea.

She slapped her hands out to re-grab the headboard, needing to find purchase to hold herself up.

“Oh my god. Fuck. Oh my god,” she barely recognized her own voice as the words escaped from her.

Abbie thrusted her tongue into Rose as deeply as she could, before licking up to her clit, flicking over her. Over and over and over, unrelenting and unyielding, and Rose –

She jerked her hips down, riding Abbie’s face like it was her purpose in this world. Maybe it was?

Rose shuddered through an orgasm that slid through her unexpectedly quickly, stealing every coherent thought she had left.

She didn’t need a coherent thought, though. All she needed was Abbie, right here with her. Was Abbie, working her up into another orgasm by eating her out like Rose was the last meal she would ever have on this earth, and Abbie was grateful for it.

When she came again, it was different. It was –

Rose didn’t even know what it was. She’d never felt this sensation before, this whole-body sensation. The way not only her thighs shook, but also her arms and her hands, and her stomach trembled, like she’d lost complete control over all of her muscles.

It was terrifyingly powerful, crashing over her, stealing the very breath from her lungs. What was this? Her entire existence felt centered between her legs, felt centered by Abbie’s mouth, by her lips sucking on Rose’s clit.

When the orgasm was done pummeling her – the only word that seemed even close to summing up that feeling – she was boneless.

Quite literally, she had no strength left to hold herself up, and she just had the presence of mind and ability to roll to the side, instead of simply collapsing onto Abbie’s face.

She fell onto her side, then rolled onto her back, tossing her arm over her eyes. Utterly spent, in a way she’d not only never experienced, but never known was possible in any way.

After a second, she felt Abbie maneuver to curl up next to Rose, a steady warmth at her side.

“Rose?” Abbie’s voice was so soft, so sweet. So concerned.

“Mm,” she hummed back, her throat scratchy.

“Are you okay?” There it was, that concern again. Growing, it seemed, even more intense.

Was Rose okay?

That – that was the most ludicrous question in the world. That had ever been posed, actually, in history. Rose was so much better than okay, that the word okay had never been so inferior.

“Why would you possibly think I’m not?” She asked, before her breath hitched in her throat.

“Because you’re crying?” Abbie’s words were probing and cautious, as she reached out and landed her hand on Rose’s stomach, gently stroking her thumb back and forth.

She nearly disagreed with Abbie’s statement, only to realize – as her breath hitched again, then broke on a pathetic-sounding cry – that she was crying.

The tears that had sprung from her eyes when she’d come hadn’t stopped, apparently. She’d thought they would, assumed as much. She’d thought they were from the sheer intensity of the pleasure she’d felt.

But the tears hadn’t stopped. Not even close.

If anything, they were coming heavier, now. Dripping down the sides of her face, into her hair, making her forearm wet.

“Rose…” There was an urgency in Abbie’s voice, so Rose knew what was coming even before she felt Abbie’s hand land on her wrist.

She allowed Abbie to lift her arm, to tug it away from her face. Abbie’s touch was achingly gentle, as she draped Rose’s arm down over her stomach, then brought her hand back up, and cupped Rose’s cheek.

Rose forced herself to blink her eyes open, meeting Abbie’s intense stare. Intensely concerned, looking like she’d been struck, as she searched Rose’s face. Looking, it seemed, for anything that could possibly be wrong. Like she was searching for some sort of hurt she could chase away.

“Please talk to me.”

The sheer pleading tone did Rose in, the backs of her eyes burning even more, even as she hated it. She didn’t necessarily hate crying – okay, she did – but this was the worst kind, because it made no sense.

“I’m okay,” she assured Abbie. “I just – it was a lot. And it was good. It was better than good.”

“I didn’t hurt you?” Abbie asked, trailing her fingertips over Rose’s cheek so softly. “I know you came more than once, and I could have stopped–”

“You didn’t hurt me,” Rose cut that line of thinking off.

She pressed her lips together tightly, closing her eyes again as she sifted through the unexpectedly overwhelming feelings swamping her.

“You said–” Rose hiccupped, which frustrated the hell out of her. She didn’t want to react like this after having sex with Abbie. She wanted – she wanted to celebrate, to fucking rejoice. And she was falling apart? She shook her head, forcing in a deep breath, holding it as she calmed the hell down. “Earlier tonight, you said if there is anything I want, that you want to be able to make it happen. This… this is what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted. And I–”

She cut herself off again, blowing out an agitated breath.

This was what she’d always wanted, and it felt so big. So monumental inside of her, like a tidal wave that was just starting to crest and wash ashore, filling in all of the cracks.

“I feel so stupid, crying like this,” she muttered.

Abbie’s eyes were so soft and sympathetic, before she scooched in and slid her arm around Rose, tugging her in. Cradling Rose against her body, as she brought her free arm up to stroke through her hair. “Please don’t,” there was the sweetest hint of pleading in her voice, as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of Rose’s head. “I’ve got you. You can cry with me. You’re safe with me, baby.”

Rose’s breath hitched again, everything inside of her going haywire and bursting in the best, more overwhelming of ways. She was safe with Abbie, and she errantly thought… maybe this was what it was supposed to feel like to be totally safe and seen and known.

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