Planet-Eater 85 (Patreon)

It’s huge. Tapestries depicting regal figures and epic battles cover every wall, all stretching down from a domed, cathedral-like roof. I can’t even count the candelabras. All I can tell is that each and every one of them is made up of geometric shapes of immeasurable intricacy, lined with crystal drops that scatter the light of whatever hits them into rainbow spots that line the hall. Extravagance upon extravagance, above these fixtures are numerous murals and sculptures showing what almost seem to be religious characters. 

While I’m marvelling at the ceiling, Fern guides me across the hall, having joined up with the rest of the officers. The hall is filling up with well-dressed politicians and other creatures of high social standing, speaking amongst each other and laughing with mirth. 

The tables themselves are no less intricate. It’s a curious ensemble of rounded tables, intercut with straight, rectangular ones, all of them forming a mosaic that I’m sure is meant to represent something. I have no idea what the tables are made of, but the tablecloths seem to be woven out of actual starlight. The plates are golden ovals with pearlescent decorations. The cutlery—all of them too alien to name—are lined in neat rows, forming halos around the plates. The glasses, five for each plate, refract light into rainbows. Crystal sculptures and vases filled with complex flower arrangements line the tables.

The tables glitter. The guests glitter. The room glitters. 

Everything is beautiful and pleasant to look at. 

‘LISTEN TO ME’

I freeze midstep.

Fern gives me an uncertain look. “Is it…?”

I nod stiffly. 

“Okay. Let me get you to your seat and you can pass out there,” he says, hurrying in his steps. I let him bring me there, weaving us through the hundreds of beings gathered here until we arrive at a single table placed a little bit away from the rest. But not away as in put aside. No, this is more in the style of the table that the bride and groom sit at during their wedding. It’s front and centre, yet placed away from all the others. With the way it’s positioned, it almost looks as though the rest of the guests are supposed to see us, to always know that we’re here, to enjoy every glimpse they get of

‘LISTEN TO ME NOW’

Hhhhkk.

“Almost there,” Fern says, eyeing through the plates and the chairs. Funnily enough, for this table, only half of it is set. The guests will only see us from the front, never the back. 

That’s terrifying! Though not as terrifying as the possibility that the voice in my head is that of an e—e—evil—

‘LISTEN TO ME NOW… PLEASE’

“There it is,” Fern mutters to himself, guiding me into a chair that is actually, unusually enough, designed with an open back to allow me to poke out my tail! Wonderful. That makes me so happy. The second Fern lets go of my shoulders, I melt into the chair. It is terrifyingly comfortable. My vision is swimming a little but I think I’ll be okay. I see a lot of people looking at me with curiosity and apprehension but I think it’s okay. I think I’ll be fine. “I’ll, um…” Fern leans away from me. “If you need me, just call for me, alright? And if something happens… It’s okay. If it means protecting yourself, protecting us… You’re allowed to do it.”

“Okay,” I gurgle. “Thank you.” And then he goes away, only leaving me with a single lingering look of worry.

Which means that I no longer have any excuse not to listen to the voice in my head. Gritting my teeth, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think about all the ways this might go wrong. It’ll be okay! He said so, which means that it will absolutely be okay. Yes. Yes…

Darkness is replaced by a different kind of darkness, as most of my eyes are squeezed against my own flesh. All save for a few solitary ones, which peep inside the spaceship’s cockpit. Resolving myself, I focus on those, and find myself faced with the four fellows. I’m not sure which one to look at, so I glance between them, trying not to let my lingering terror show. It’ll be okay. They’re normal people, I’m sure. Nothing wizard-y about them. All good!

Um… hello…?

‘...HELLO.’ The green woman crosses her arms across her chest. I think she might be wearing a uniform of some sort, but it’s been torn apart and resewn so many times it’s no longer recognizable as anything. ‘WE WANT… TO TALK.’

Oh! That’s, um… Good! Yes, g—good. Talking is good.

The green woman glances at the big guy in the torn overalls. He pats her on the back. 

‘WE… NEED HELP.’

Haha, yeah, um, you sure do, I think!

‘YOU CAN HELP US.’

I can, yes. 

And then she doesn’t say anything. Her yellow eyes burn into me with the intensity of a starved she-wolf and I want to crawl away into a hole. Or to a nice party with friendly people. That would also be nice.

Though I can’t hear it, I can see the boy in the oversized clothes say something to the green girl, making her yell something back. Maybe that’s her typical mode of talking? I’m not sure if that makes me happy or not…

‘WOULD YOU… PLEASE… HELP US?’

I think she might be trembling. Is her face turning blue?

Are you okay? 

‘YES. NO. SHUT UP’

Oh, um, sorry. I just…

Gosh, should I ask her? I really don’t want to! She’s scary! And mean! Maybe if I help them super fast then they’ll get out of my hair and I won’t need to get shouted at anymore.

Okay, okay, I’ll help you. There’s this planet close by with oxygen and stuff, so you can maybe fix your spaceship and not die? Would that be good?

She doesn’t reply. I think I can see her eye twitching. 

Then the boy elbows her in the side and she forces a trembling smile onto her face, saying, with great difficulty, ‘YES. TH. THAN. THANK YOU.’

Great! Wonderful! Okay, so, in that case…

Gosh, how do I best do this? I know Typhin survived a fall with me as cushion, but this is a whole-ass spaceship! I should probably take this on the safe side. Which means gathering all of my bodies into one big one to ensure maximal cushioning. Right, right. Get them to Ilsa, and then I’ll be able to focus on the really important thing: attending this lovely dinner party with all my friends.

I turn my attention back to the green lady, bracing myself for any harshness on her end. 

Okay, so, I’m going to gather myself real quick, but I’ll start heading there straight away. Shouldn’t take more than an hour or two to get there. So, um… just lean back and relax, I guess?

I can see her lips moving, but I have no idea what she’s saying. She doesn’t seem too happy, though.

‘ONE HOUR’

One hour?

‘WE HAVE ONE STANDARD HOUR OF OXYGEN LEFT’

Oh. Oh, so this is…? Ah. 

I—I’ll try to be quick, then!

Saying so, I unfurl my tentacles, taking a hold of the spaceship in a small bundle of protective tentacles. They might still want to see, so I ensure to leave a tiny slice between the tentacles through which they’ll be able to see the outside. And then, I give my other dozen big bodies the command to eat themselves. Now, before they finish doing this, which direction am I supposed to be heading in…? Going by the gravitational pull… Yep, it’s that-a-way. 

As the rest of my body starts to slowly appear, I begin to shift my centre of mass closer and closer to Ilsa, feeling with nostalgia how the pull of the planet takes a hold of me with greater and greater strength. 

Since this part doesn’t require too much thinking, my thoughts start to wander back to the little spaceship in my grasp. To the people aboard. To their possible evil-space-wizard-ness. 

…I don’t even know their names! Heck, I don’t even know why they’re out here! For all I know, they could be after me personally. 

…Actually, no, that feels really unlikely.