No Holds Barred (Mushoku Tensei/Celestial Dojo) - Chapter 5 (Patreon)

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K414 - Boreas Greyrat Manor, The Citadel of Roa

Morning training has only become more fun these past few months. I breathe in slowly through my nose, bare feet planted against the cold stone of the courtyard as I move through the forms again. I’m wearing my black tunic, sleeves, and pants rolled up. My standard-issue cuirass and boots are on the ground underneath a tree. Capturing the breath within me, I inch forward, turn my hip, and punch.

A faint green wisp curls off my knuckles, making me grin.

Six months ago, I’d have lost my fucking mind over that. I lost my mind, at least relatively speaking, when I learned Battle Aura—that shit’s invisible! Man, I remember spending the better part of an hour making Battle Aura appear around my hand, losing concentration, swearing, trying again, and then celebrating like I’d won the lottery when I managed to hold it for longer than thirty seconds. It’s practically subconscious now! According to Ghislaine, that’s the bare minimum to put me at the Advanced-rank… which means Rudeus currently is “above” me, at least in theory, given he’s a Saint-ranked mage.

Titles are weird in this world. There are bare minimums, and suddenly, you can go around calling yourself a Saint-ranked swordsman or magician. That alone implies being stronger than the rank below, but that’s not exactly the case. Rudeus is probably the best example I could ask for when it comes to that. I guess the titles themselves are general skill markers and more of a status symbol? I’m not really interested in getting myself formally recognised or anything regardless. At least, not yet. Right now, my only goal in life is to pound Ghislaine into the ground.

In every sense!

These past six months have taught me that I’ll need more than I possess currently—and by far, too. Luckily, I don’t have to rely on Battle Aura alone, which is all Battle Aura is, according to Ghislaine. Mana’s everywhere, including inside me, and Battle Aura was basically taking that internal mana and wrapping it around your body until you became stronger, faster, and harder to kill. Ki is also a source of energy within me, but fundamentally different from mana. It’s the zest of life, a strain of the world, different in every living person, in theory, anyway.

Ki isn’t something people in this new world seem to have, which makes sense. My old world was boringly normal and didn’t have ki or mana or anything. I certainly hadn’t seen Ghislaine use it, and if anyone’s going to accidentally stumble into superpowered martial arts through sheer violence, it’d be her, right?

Thankfully, the Dojo hadn’t left me completely blind, having beamed the Street Fighter info into my head. I’m not exactly a massive Street Fighter superfan or anything, so it was appreciated. Basically, martial arts are like a cultivation method. You train your body and mind through its forms, and somewhere along the way, learn to draw out something that had apparently been sitting inside you all along. The exact result depends on the person because different people have different affinities, or aspects of the world that your ki naturally leans towards.

Textbook RPG-type stuff. Fire, water, wind, earth, light, darkness, metal, sound, poison, and some other obscure stuff. Hell, certain styles—like the Shotokan that I have—come baked in with their own affinities, like the Murderous Hado or the Power of Nothingness. Speaking of, I’m not good enough to throw around Hadoukens yet… but trust me, I will be! On affinities, though, two people could learn the exact same martial art from the exact same master and end up taking it in completely different directions because of that.

Which explains a lot, to be honest. I’m still not sure calling my style ‘The Shotokan’ is even accurate with all the information I have of it, but it’s not wrong either. The important part is that there isn’t one singular end point. Every practitioner shapes what they learn around themselves, and I know a lot, including the bloodier aspects of the art created in the original Ansatsuken.

Fuck me, though. I am not training that shit because it leads to the emergence of the Murderous Hadou in me, which I’m not even sure I want, y’know, given its propensity to turn its wielders into bloodthirsty battle-crazed monsters.

…Not that different from how I am now, sans the bloodthirst, but I’m the only one in the driver’s seat.

Aside from the baked-in affinities, I have two more on top of wind: fire and darkness. I started on wind first because there’s less of a chance of me burning the manor down. Sure, it’s mostly stone, but there’s a bunch of wood. Better revisit that fire affinity after I get a decent idea of everything else. I’m yet to figure out what the fuck darkness is supposed to do, though.

Returning to my stance, I go through the forms again. Naturally, this is the stripped-down version of the Ansatsuken without all the murderous shit, which is funny because all the moves are killing moves when you really think about it. Seeing the sky start to lighten is good enough sign I should bring this to an end, though. I wipe my face on my shirt and take in the crisp morning air.

The doors behind me open. I glance over my shoulder. Ghislaine steps into the courtyard first, with Rudeus and Eris following behind her, polar opposites of one another. Eris is brimming with energy in the wake of her kidnapping, which I think says good things about her not developing PTSD? I was beyond happy to hit the fuckers with a Shoryuken and Whirlwind Kick combo, and that’s ignoring the reward I got for it, too:

Philip was pissed when I briefed him on everything. Alfonse had to talk him out of putting the kidnapping trio’s heads on spikes after they were all executed, a tradition Philip put an end to after becoming Roa’s mayor.

“Morning,” Ghislaine says with a smile and nod.

“Morning.”

I attack her, giving her a smile back, as per our usual song and dance. …See, I’ve spent the past few months under the impression that I’m getting pretty fucking good. Our spars have stopped being completely one-sided. I can make her move where I want, or force her hands up to block, and land more than just a few hits. The me of two months ago knew the gap was massive, but thought, ‘Hey! I’ve started making her work for her wins.’

As it turns out, there’s a fairly important distinction between making Ghislaine work and making Ghislaine work while she’s trying very hard not to accidentally break me. Once I could run Battle Aura without thinking, I became durable enough that she could stop treating me like cardboard. The worst part is she’s probably still holding back.

A short while later, I’m sitting on my ass in the middle of the courtyard, one hand braced behind me. I tip my neck back and stare at the brightening sky, aching from head to toe. She isn’t even breathing hard by the end of it!

“...Fuck me,” I mutter, glancing at the kiddie peanut gallery. Our short-lived spar has woken Rudeus up, it seems. He’s got the same wonder on his face as Eris.

Ghislaine folds her arms under her chest. “You’ve improved, Eiji.”

The genuineness of the compliment annoys me. I still lost!

“Ahem!”

We turn around. Eris is staring at me. There’s a particular look on her face that I’ve learned to recognise over the past six months. Her eyes are narrowed, fists clenched by her side. The signs of incoming violence. Either that, or she’s gonna order me to do something.

“Teach me, Eiji!”

We’re on a first-name basis now. According to her—and Alfonse, Philip, and Mia the maid—it’s a great honour, supposedly.

“...No! That’s a fucking horrible idea!”

“WHAT?!” Eris marches forward. “Why not?!”

I sit forward and cross my legs, shirt sticking to my back. “For one, you didn’t even ask me to.”

“Yes I did!”

“No, you didn’t. You shouted an order at me.”

Eris looms above me, fists still on her hips. Ghislaine stares at her in judgement, I hope. Whatever the reason is, it takes a few seconds for shame to work itself across Eris’ face. Her mouth opens and shuts several times.

“Teach me.” Her eye twitches. “...P-Please.”

Oh, this is music to my ears! I close my eyes, relishing in the sound for a few seconds.

“Sorry, what was that?” I can’t help myself from grinning. “My ears are ringing because of Ghislaine.”

Eris winces in actual pain. “P-Please… teach me!”

“I didn’t quite catch—”

“That’s enough, Eiji,” Ghislaine interrupts with an amused twinkle in her eye.

Chuckling, I climb painfully to my feet, dusting off my trousers. Eris immediately perks up. “Alright, I’ll teach you.”

“Yes!”

“On one condition.”

“What condition?”

“This isn’t going to be easy, you know? Can you do it?”

Eris baulks a little before puffing her chest out. “I-I can do it!”

“Really? I can’t hear you!”

“I CAN DO IT!”

“...Alright, then.” I look down at her. “Stop hitting people.”

“W-What?!”

“You heard me. I’m not teaching you how to punch people better when you already solve every problem in your life by punching somebody. Prove you can control yourself first.”

Pot calling the kettle black and a billion Xianxia idioms exist to describe me right now, I’m sure, but this needs to be said!

Eris smiles weakly. “T-This’ll be easy! I can control myself!”

Rudeus makes a strange noise behind her.

“ARE YOU LAUGHING?!” Her fist comes up before she notices and stops it halfway, lowering it with a sheepish glance at me. “...See?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Good work.”

“Will you teach me now?”

“...It’s been four seconds. I need to see you stop for good, Eris. No smacking the servants or punching Rudeus because he annoys you.”

She folds her arms and glares at me. “For how long until you teach me?”

“Until I believe you’ve kicked the habit.”

“That’s not a number!”

“Oh my god! Are your lessons with Rudeus already working? Eris, you might just be a genius!” She looks ready to explode, so I take mercy on her. “...One week. If you can last one week, I’ll train you.”

“Fine!” She spins around and storms away to stand next to Rudeus. Ghislaine turns towards him expectantly. On top of her morning swordsmanship lessons, now including Rudeus, the kid is in turn going to teach the two girls magic on top of the reading and writing he’s been hired to help Eris with. He might be seven, but from the little I’ve seen of him, there are probably worse people to learn from.

Rudeus looks between the two of them before taking a breath. I hesitate, then raise my hand.

“Can I join?”

He freezes. …Ah. Right. He’s already teaching two people. Adding a third means more work, and unlike Eris, I’m not paying him. I mean, I could pay him, but having been a guard for a couple months, I’m not really eager to fork over my sum total of six silver coins for magic lessons. Then again, I might be getting a promotion for teaching Eris.

Two silvers a month is about to turn into six silvers, trust!

“Tell you what,” I say. “I’ll make it an even deal.”

Rudeus blinks. “Even?”

“You teach me magic; I’ll teach you how to fight. From what I saw last night, you’re in for a world of trouble at close range. Your earth magic trick takes a while to harden around the feet, right? It’s not easy to avoid if you see it coming, so what do you say?”

“Fight how?”

“Unarmed. Properly.” I jerk my thumb towards Ghislaine. “You’re gonna learn swordsmanship from her anyway, right? Might as well learn what to do if you don’t have one.”

I frown at his dumb stare. Was that not sweet enough of a deal? Does he have some kind of aversion to close-range combat or something… oh.

I give him a smile. “I won’t hit you as hard as your dad did, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“H-Huh?!” Rudeus gawks at me and then starts laughing. “That’s... reassuring. Thank you. I’ll take you up on that, I think. Um, stand beside Ghislaine and Eris. I guess we’ll start on something simple, since you can all use Battle Aura. Eris, I’ll focus on you, but if you two have any questions, feel free to just ask. Your personality’s most suited to fire magic, I think, so repeat after me…”

He runs us through the incantation for the most basic of basic fire spells. It takes me a few runs to memorise it, but I get it down fairly quickly. The same can’t be said about Ghislaine and Eris. I think the fact that Ghislaine’s also struggling prevents another Eris crashout, which is good. I think she’s really trying not to hit Rudeus for encouraging her too much, which I do notice! After that initial hurdle, we go through the spell one at a time until it’s my turn.

“Let the great protection of fire be present wherever thou seekest. I call the flame of the torch to ignite… Fireball.” My mana flows accordingly with each word, almost self-aware. From what I can detect, it’s clear these incantations do all the magical legwork for you, determining the flow and amount of magic.

Fire swells to life before my outstretched hands, composed entirely of my mana. Because of that, there’s a small, if steady, drain for each second that I maintain it, but I honestly couldn’t give a fuck. Holy shit! I can do magic! Because I’m used to keeping my Battle Aura up, the flame keeps going even as I look over my shoulder to grin at Ghislaine and Eris.

Rudeus applauds me. “Well done, Mr Takase! Looks like you’re talented!”

“...That kind of burns coming from you,” I say, smiling nonetheless as I glance back at my fellow students. “Sucks to be you two right now, huh?”

“Hmph! I’ll soon cast the spell, just you watch!” Eris vows.

“You will? Go on, then. Do it!”

“L-Let the great protection of fire be present wherever thou seekest. I call to the flame of the torch to ignite… Fireball.” In line with the last three attempts, sparks gutter out of her outstretched hands. Gathering, they swell into a demonstrably smaller fireball than mine. That being said…

I’m not petty enough to rub that in her face when she looks so proud of herself, all adorable and shit.

It’s Ghislaine’s turn next. Her issue, like Eris’ initially, is the incantation itself. I rarely hear her speak in more than four-word sentences at a time. Not that she’s incapable of speaking for longer, but big words aren’t her forté, let me put it that way.

“Let the…” She frowns. “What goes next again?”

Rudeus sighs and repeats the incantation for her.

Is she… pouting? She stares at her outstretched arms as if able to ignite the fire based on will alone. Then again, didn’t Rudeus use magic without incantations?

It might be possible. I let the fireball die out as goosebumps prickle beneath my tunic, preceding my reward, and like clockwork, the holographic screen reappears before me once more.

Whoa, boy! …I’m definitely testing this on Tala tonight.

【—〄—】

I’m starting to regret my deal with Eris. When I told her she had to go an entire week without hitting anyone, I’d assumed that would force her to develop some patience or actually attend her scheduled sessions without the release valve called violence. Maybe even discover the ancient art of using her fucking words when somebody annoyed her. What I hadn’t accounted for was Eris discovering that running away is just as effective of a solution.

But hey, not my circus, not my monkey.

I’m on my way to the library when I pass the stables—allegedly Eris’ favourite napping place, which suits her feral fucking nature—crossing through the courtyard with my hands stuffed in my pockets. Ghislaine should already be waiting for me in the library for our first session. Once that’s done, I’ve got my patrols to do. The guys have got me down for the Red Light District, some kind of newbie hazing tactic, and have had me down for the past two months.

You do three months in the Red Light District. They don’t tell you not to succumb to the hookers, but if you do… they’ll know.

But I’ve got a failsafe sobering tactic: head straight to the slave market to drain the horniness out of my brain. That, and slip the slaves some food. They’re generally well-kept for pragmatic reasons, but the bare minimum isn’t enough sometimes. Naturally, I pretend to “peruse” the fat fucker’s “wares” while they eat just to make sure they don’t get caught.

I’m halfway past the stable doors when I hear a voice that makes me slow down.

“S-So soft… and perky, hehehehe~!”

…What the fuck? I backtrack a few steps and poke my head through the open stable doors.

Eris is sprawled out asleep atop a pile of hay near one of the stalls, completely dead to the world. Her hair’s a fucking mess, with straw caught in it and dried sweat on her forehead to show just how long she’s spent running away. Rudeus is kneeling beside her while his hands wander. The little bastard is completely lost in the sauce, giggling to himself. I cross the distance in three strides and grab him by the scruff of his shirt.

“Wha—?!” Rudeus jerks into the air. “M-Mr Takase?!”

“What the fuck are you doing?” I whisper furiously.

“I-I can explain!”

“Can you?!”

Carrying him several steps outside the stables, I drop him. He spins around, face already bright fucking red. “I was only—”

I smack him upside the head. Rudeus yelps, pressing both his hands against the back of his head. His face has gone pale, eyes pinned to the hand I used to smack him in absolute terror. I sigh through my nose.

“Come on.” Rudeus flinches when I reach towards him. Instead of grabbing him, I put my hand against his back and gently guide him away from the stable doors. “Relax. I’m not gonna hit you again.”

“...O-Okay.”

Once we’re far enough away that talking normally won’t wake her, I stop beside the wall and look down at him. He’s fucking tiny, so I take a knee. “There. Better?”

“Um… yes?”

“Right.” I rub the back of my neck. “Okay. Look. You’re getting older. And sometimes, when you start getting older, you start noticing girls differently. Your body starts doing some weird shit, and you start getting curious about—”

“M-My parents already told me.”

“—girls and—huh?”

“Mr Takase, they already explained…that.”

“Like… everything?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, thank fuck!” I press a hand against my chest, genuinely relieved. “You have no idea how badly that conversation was about to go. Then we can skip to the part you apparently don’t know.” His eyes drop when I point back towards the stable. “Eris was asleep.”

“...I know.”

“If someone’s asleep, they can’t tell you whether they want you touching them. And you can’t tell whether they want it either; doesn’t matter how much you like each other.”

Rudeus says nothing.

“So don’t. Doesn’t matter if you like her or you’re curious. It doesn’t even matter if you think she’d let you do it while she was awake. You’re too young for this shit anyway, so don’t even think about it even if she lets you! Keep your hands to yourself. Understand?”

His shoulders sink. “Y-Yes, Mr Takase.”

“Ditch the ‘Mr’ shit. Eiji’s fine.” My right hand itches a little. “…Look, I’m sorry I hit you so hard. I know you’re just a kid, and it’s not some crime to be curious, but… just fucking chill.”

Rudeus finally looks me in the eye. I give his shoulder a light pat before standing. “Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.”

“Good. You should probably give up on teaching her today. But tomorrow, cover the window with earth magic and do the same with the door so she doesn’t lead you on some wild goose chase again.”

“T-That’s a good idea!” His eyes light up.

“Kid, all my ideas are good ideas. See you tomorrow, yeah?” I turn around, waving at him as I walk away.

【—〄—】

“Again.”

Ghislaine’s brow furrows at the letter I’m tapping with Alfonse’s teaching stick. He bequeathed it to me, with great pride, at lunch in one of Roa’s fine dining establishments. To date, it might just be the greatest moment of my life.

“...Ra?”

“Nope.”

Her ears flatten. “K-Ka?”

“No!” I tap her head with the stick. “It’s ‘Sa.’”

“Oh!” Ghislaine nods seriously before dipping her quill into the inkpot and carefully copying the letter onto the parchment. Her handwriting is fucking atrocious, but mine’s only a tiny bit better, and she’s been at this for a few days.

Honestly, teaching her to read isn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it’d be. She can already speak Human-God, so I’m not teaching her a new language, exactly. She knows the words, so things should be smooth-sailing after a few weeks once she recognises what sound each letter represents. Her reading will probably come to a head faster than her writing, though she should be able to practise without me hovering over her shoulder by then.

Or days, maybe, seeing that Jumper-Sensei makes me an awesome teacher.

“Next.” I point at a new letter.

“Ma.”

“Good. And that one?”

“Te.”

“Great job.”

Ghislaine’s tail flicks behind her chair.

“And this one? We literally did this one five minutes ago.”

“I-I know,” she grunts, glaring at the parchment.

“...Fuck,” I mutter in Japanese.

“What does that mean?”

“Hm?”

“Kuso,” she says, her ears twitching. “That word. You say it a lot.” Ghislaine points her quill at me. “When you’re angry or hurt. Sometimes other words that sound similar, too.”

I’ve gotten so used to speaking Human-God that I barely think about it anymore. The grammar isn’t that different from Japanese, which has helped. But there ain’t nothing like a string of Japanese curse words. Like a balm for the soul.

“It’s another language,” I say.

Ghislaine tilts her head. “Which one?”

“Japanese.”

“Ja-pa-neez?”

Hearing it in her accent feels fucking weird. “It’s the language my people speak.”

“Your people? Who are your people?”

…I haven’t exactly prepared a cover story for this. Why would I? Nobody’s ever asked. Of course, people question where I’m from, but I give ‘em a vague enough answer to show I don’t want them prodding.

“Mountain folk,” I say firmly.

She tilts her head. “Mountain folk? Which mountains?”

“Very remote ones.”

Ghislaine nods, seemingly buying it? Thank you, God, for giving her negative common sense!

“It’s a small community. We didn’t get many outsiders and mostly kept to ourselves. So, naturally, we had our own language, customs, all that shit.”

“Where are they?”

My mouth shuts. If I say they’re alive, someone might eventually ask where these mysterious Japanese-speaking mountain people actually fucking live, so there’s really only one answer here.

“They’re dead.” Ghislaine’s ears droop, immediately making me regret everything, but fuck it! I need to commit... “There was a landslide,” I add. “Years ago. It wiped out the village. I was the only survivor.”

I break eye contact and stare determinedly at the parchment. Man, I could’ve said they lived on the Demon Continent or some shit, anything else other than ‘they died.’ She really doesn’t doubt me, even a little bit?!

Her arms wrap around me, pulling me against her chest. One of her arms goes around to my back while her other hand settles on top of my head and starts patting me.

“You don’t have to be sad for me,” I mumble.

Her hand pauses. “I know,” Ghislaine says as she resumes the headpats. I let out a slow breath and budge closer, because the angle’s a bit uncomfortable. It feels… nice, and really fucking soft, too. Wait. Turning my head straight on, I swiftly discover why. She’s stuffed my face into her tits.

Little Eiji has decided this is his moment to stand in solidarity with the victims. I hate myself. Ghislaine, mercifully, either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, continuing to pat my head. I know that I’m a lying liar who does nothing but lie, however…

I’ll lie till the day I drop dead if these are the consequences! Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and the same goes for this moment as Ghislaine lets me go. I clear my throat and straighten my shirt, slightly hunched over for… reasons.

“Anyway, yes. I speak another language.”

“Ja-pa-neez. Hm. I also speak another language as well. Beast-God.”

She moves to pick her quill back up, but I catch her wrist. “Hold on, I’ve just remembered something incredibly important. These lessons aren’t free anymore.”

“You said they were!” Her ears shoot upright.

“I don’t want money! I bet my left nutsack I’m getting a raise for becoming Eris’ teacher anyway. I want you to teach me Beast-God.”

Ghislaine blinks. “...Alright. It’s a deal.”

“Great!” I release her wrist and point at the letter we’d abandoned ten minutes ago. “Now, before you distract me, what’s this one?”

“...Kuso.”

【—〄—】

Much, much later, Tala is dead to the world in my arms. Her head is tucked beneath my chin, purple hair spilled across my chest and one leg thrown over mine. Her tail lies completely limp across the sheets. Usually, she starts getting dressed within a few minutes. Maybe hangs around for more if neither of us has anywhere to be, but she doesn’t exactly melt into the mattress.

Tonight I’ve broken the chef, and I’m feeling pretty fucking pleased with myself.

Tala stirs against me.

“Alive?” I shake her slightly, then poke her cheek. A few more seconds pass before she slowly lifts her head. Her eyes are unfocused, and she looks more relaxed than I’ve ever seen her. She sits up as awareness starts creeping back into her body. Her eyes are wide and she’s grinning. Tala never grins! She never smiles!

“Since when could you fuck the stress and aches out of me?!”

“Since now,” I say smugly.

Tala’s nostrils flare as she takes a deep breath and pounces.

“W-Wait, I just finished—!”

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