Hard-Working Snail Girl Seeks Love, Not Salt! (Patreon)

Introduction:

Hi, I’m a dedicated snail girl just trying to make my way through office life (and the occasional prank war). I might leave a slime trail behind, but I promise my heart is in the right place! Looking for someone who sees more than just the shell and appreciates the sweet side of a hard-working, cookie-baking, mail-delivering girl. Bonus points if you like stairs as much as I do! 💕🐌

About Me:

🧸 Hobbies:

• Taking long, slow walks up and down the office staircases (trust me, it’s more fun than it sounds!)

• Baking cookies and cakes to try and make office life sweeter (literally)

• Trying to master the art of office pranks, but I leave a bit of a trail, so you might spot me!

💖 Likes:

• Climbing stairs (Yes, really. It’s like a mini adventure!)

• Kind-hearted people who don’t mind my snail tendencies (I promise the slime’s not that bad!)

• Making friends (though I’m still figuring that part out)

• Quiet time in my shell when things get overwhelming

💔 Dislikes:

• People who think I’m slow just because I’m a snail girl

• Mean werewolves named Anna who try to sabotage my hard work

• Being left out of fun office events (I know they didn’t really need anyone to "cover the office")

• Salt. Seriously, it’s not funny.

What I’m Looking For:

💫 Ideal Partner Traits:
I’d love someone patient and understanding, who can appreciate my quirky, snail-paced approach to life. Someone who’s willing to look past the shell and see the sweet, dedicated person inside. Bonus if you find my love of stairs adorable!

✅ Must Haves:

• Kindness and empathy

• A sense of humour (especially when it comes to slimy mishaps)

• Willingness to embrace my quirks, from my big shell to my tendency to get lost on the way to the break room

• A good friendship foundation—because that’s where the best things start!

🚫 Deal Breakers:

• People who judge me based on my snail heritage

• A love for practical jokes that involve salt (honestly, it’s not funny)

• Anyone who’s too close with Anna… she’s not nice!

Closer:

If you’re looking for someone who’s a little different, a little slimy, but full of heart and determination, then maybe you and I could climb a few staircases together. Just please—no salt!