Tails: The Substitute Teacher: Lesson 1 - First Day of Class (Patreon)

It was already a well and truly dignified sounding name. He didn't love it very much, which is why he ultimately preferred the nickname "Tails" but it was his and he was in a position where he needed to own it.

Today was a legendary day for the Hazington Elementary School. Tails wasn't as big a name as Sonic was but he was still someone who, when walking down the street, would get the occasional wave and some would even ask for a picture with him.

He and Sonic were lucky that they weren't the kind of guys to get hounded by crowds of people on a daily basis. Freaky animals with freaky powers was a normal thing in their world. The ones who happened to save the day were often the dynamic duo themselves of course.

What wasn't normal was the acquisition of someone as young as Tails for the school in question. 

The fox was extremely young. At the age of 8 he was one of the most brilliant minds of this or any generation. Having him be apart of any official function would be good publicity for a place

So when one of the teachers unceremoniously quit after his first day at the school, the principal was in a bit of a bind.

How fortunate that Tails would stroll into his office that day and ask if there were any positions open. It was almost like a dream come true. He didn't even need to see any credentials or the like. He was hired on the spot as a temporary substitute teacher. 

How long was he going to keep the position? The principal wouldn't have minded if he stayed forever but Tails really just needed a new business venture to try out for his own personal gain As good as the money was for his inventions, getting out there and being able to teach always sounded like a really fun thing to do and it was certainly something he knew he'd be good at. Why not give it a try?

So here he was. Tails stood in a nice dark, navy blue suit, straightening out his tie, holding a briefcase, and wearing some reading glasses that he thought made him look dapper as hell.

He didn't need the glasses. Truthfully, he was planning on taking them off once he got to class but what the heck? Why not right?

When the bell rang, Tails practically danced into the room. He didn't actually dance. He strutted in. But the way he entered made it look like he'd break out into a big strong, Disney number any moment. You could tell how excited he was.

"Hello class!" Tails smiled and set his briefcase onto the desk, the biggest grin etched onto his baby face. It almost sparkled.

It contrasted greatly with the deadpan, bored looks on the faces of his students. It was a class of 17, all of them about two or three years younger than him. This was a first-grade class. Perfect for him. With Tails being the oldest in the room but not an actual adult or teenager, he'd be a shoe-in for gaining instant respect...

Yes, of course he would.

"My name is Miles Prower." Tails put a hand to his chest as he took off the glasses, folded them, and let them sit onto the desk. He turned around and began writing his name on the board, letting his two tails swish about when he turned. It was a bit of a reach considering his height but it wasn't too off. 

The kids were a little unresponsive so far. None of them seemed to really be reacting to him. Not the fact that he was a literal child. Not the fact that their old teacher quitting so early in the school year was resolved so quickly. Certainly not the fact that he had two tails. 

One kid leaned over to another and whispered something to him, then pointed at Tails's butt. They giggled to one another.

The conversation was about how big and round it looked.

Which is true. His butt was noticeably more round than Sonic's was after all...

Tails's lesson started off normal. He began reading from his book about Science and how the glory of Science was wonderful and it let to such great things. Every now and then he'd turn and see the unenthused faces of his students and play it off as nervousness of their part before turning back to the board. 

There were small murmurs creeping up around him though. His ear twitched as he began listening in on some of the small things his big ears could catch.

"Sheesh. His booty is so big. It looks like a big farts clogged up in dere." One boy said to his friend in a childish lisp. The friend responded by cackling hard but covering his mouth, so as not to disturb the silence. 

Tails blushed but ignored it and kept writing.

He heard some more as he did.

"I can see the waistband of his undies." A girl whispered. "It's got a red elastic and I think I see a picture of a rocket-ship."

"My baby brother wears diapers with designs that look like that." The friend of the girl responded.

Tails cleared his throat which made the murmurs die down a bit. 

He then began writing on the board again... but not after hiking his loosened pants up...

"Now then class, I want you all to write the qualities of Sedimentary rock down just like this and we'll go over what-" Tails began before he heard a splat next to him.

He turned his head in confusion and saw a wet glob on the chalkboard.

A Spitball. Oh great.

"Ahem. Anyway, I want you to copy the notes-" Tails began again before a spitball smacked against the board again.

He closed his eyes and sighed. Admittedly, that was very annoying. He didn't want to get into an altercation with his students on the very first day though so he cleared his throat, yet again, and decided to continue.

Still, might be best to bring up the fact that this wasn't tolerated under his watchful eye.

Without turning away from the board he cooly began to say, "Please refrain from firing off spit-balls in the middle of the les-"

The largest spitball yet suddenly smacked hard against the back of his head.

It had enough force that his head went forward and lightly tapped the chalkboard. Tails immediately swished around, angry-faced and fists clenched.

"Okay, who's doing that?!" He demanded, the first time he's had to raise his voice.

He looked forward and saw the obvious culprit. A kid with a straw barely hidden behind his back in his seat and looking off to the side as if being the only kid not looking directly at him was somehow going to throw him off his trail.

Tails's eyes narrowed and he sighed. He crossed his arms and walked towards the kid, now standing in-between their desks.

"Alright look young man." Tails began, feeling giddy inside that he got to call a kid young man but still remained stern on the outside, "I don't know or care about what you did to the other teacher that got him to quit but this is my show now. I won't allow this nonsense to carry on in MY classroom. Understood?"

Tails waited for an answer but the kid didn't respond immediately. He kept looking away.

"Hello!" Tails said, smacking a hand on his desk. That got the kid to look at him now. Talking behind his back was one thing, but Tails was supposed to be a big deal right? They all wanted to do what they did with the other teacher, maybe even something more fun, but could they get away with it?

"You must be the class clown. I've got experience dealing with wildcards like you." Tails smiled. One guess as to who he was referring to there. "But I'll have you know that I take a big more pride in my work than most other teachers. Whatever fun you had at Preschool before coming to 1st Grade won't be continued in the same manner as before. I will be treated with due respect and-"

Tails was babbling on and as he did this, one of the other kids was getting an extreme close look at his huge butt. Not specifically to look at it but to see if the rumor the girls were talking about when it came to his underwear was true. 

Unfortunately, Tails had hiked his pants up too high so he couldn't make it out. The kid in question was wearing boxers so the idea of an older kid, let alone his teacher, wearing childish undies was hilarious to him.

The kid kept looking and realized that the reason his underwear was visible at all was because he wasn't wearing a belt. One good yank on his pants oughta do it...

So he grabbed at Tails's pants leg with a wide smile on his face and tugged on them hard!

Tails's pants lowered alright; all the way to the ground.

When they hit the floor, Tails had his eyes closed, still lecturing the kid with his arms crossed before giggles started to kick up around him.

Then it turned into full-blown laughter. What was going on?!

Tails blinked and re-opened his eyes, noticing how drafty it felt... weird... wait...

He blushed and then looked down at his ankles.

His pants were pooled around his legs and his white briefs with the red elastic and the cute, cartoony, rocket ship designs were on full display to his class.

They all pointed and laughed right at him, without hesitation. Whatever fear there might have been that he was someone to worry about had evaporated.

Tails, meanwhile, was blushing super red and figured it best to fight for control of the class again.

"Now, now, calm down! It's just some underwear! Everyone wears th-AAAH!" Tails tried to bend down to hike his pants him but they got caught when he lifted his leg and he ended up falling over, face planting the floor!

Now his big butt was sticking straight up at them, only making it more viable for them to look.

Tails's eyes crossed a bit as the pain to his face had turned him a tad loopy for a bit. The kid with the spitballs took this chance to take aim at his new grand target and fired multiple huge spitballs at Tails's butt!

They all hit bullseye!

The laughter was strong now. Tails shook the cobwebs from his vision and managed to get up, successfully hiking his pants up and backing away.

"Ahaha... v-very funny... except no! It's NOT funny! Y-You all are in big trouble when I get back-!" Tails snapped and quickly sauntered out of the room. He needed to clean off his briefs in the bathroom. The kids didn't mind waiting there either. They had a feeling sticking around was going to lead to a ton of fun.

----

In the bathroom, Tails was drying his brief-clad bottom off with a paper towel, as best he could.

"Sheesh. Stupid, childish pranks. The texture of spitballs are so gross." Tails muttered as he tried to position his butt at the mirror to see if he thoroughly dried it well enough. "Eh... good enough..." He sighed and re-zipped his pants.

With that he straightened his tie and growled.

"Time to show those kids what a strong teacher can really do." Tails snapped and opened the door... probably more roughly than he should have because he smacked it against the face of a student!

"OW!" One kid shouted and grabbed his nose.

"Ah! Oh no!" Tails shut the door and got a good look at the kid. He was taller than Tails and about two years older too, making him a 10-year-old. "Are you okay?"

"What was that for?!" The bigger kid snapped, a tear in his eye. "You can't just hit someone like me with a door and then ask if I'm okay like it was an accident, you dumb furball. Two-tailed freak!" 

Tails raised a brow and took immediate offense to that. "Excuse me? It WAS an accident and I very much don't care for your tone young man!" Tails wagged his finger at him.

The kid got even angrier and grabbed Tails by the collar, yanking him close to his face, which got Tails's eyes to widen in surprise. He didn't expect that. He probably forgot that this wasn't a member of his first grade class he was talking too for a second there. However, he was a teacher so obviously he held more authority over this punk.

"What did you say to me shrimp?!" The kid snarled, blaring his nostrils at Tails.

Tails's pupils shrunk in fear.

"Uh... heheh. No no no. Listen to me please. I'm not actually a kid who goes here as a student. I'm a teacher. I'm substituting for the first grade class over by there."

The bully child merely stared at Tails, getting madder the more he spoke as if he was in a better and more authoritative position than him. 

"You makin' fun of me or something?" The bully kid gripped his fist.

"NO! I'm not! Listen, I'm a TEACHER! Really. A-And if you don't let me go, you're gonna be in some serious trouble young m-" Tails began but was stopped when he was punched in the face!

"Don't call me young man, dummy!" The kid snapped back at him.

"Yogurt Momma!" Tails blurted out, his eyes crossed again and a dopey smile on his face. "Creamy yogurt with wots uf syrurp...! Tanks a bunch!" He said, now drooling a bit onto the kid's hand.

"Okay. You're dead." The bully kid had had enough.

The sound of a loud pounding could be heard echoing in the hall afterward, followed by loud angry stomps as the bully walked away.

Two kids walked by and stopped when they noticed something strange.

"Oh wow... poor guy." The boy mused.

"Yeah. He must be a nerd who got bullied or something. Maybe we should leave him." The other boy said.

"Wait, wait!" The first boy took out his phone and snapped a picture of the scene.

"Dude!"

"What?! He's not gonna know I took his picture. And I'm not gonna send it out anywhere."

The two of them walked on, leaving the scene they saw behind.

That scene was the naked butt of a fox boy dangling over the edge of a garbage can with his underwear around his ankles. His suit had been shredded by the masses of punches...

------

The kids in the classroom looked a little bored, actually wondering when their new teacher was coming back.

Well fear not. He did eventually enter back in.

"Hewowoo cwass! Imma new Benjamin boy!" Tails stumbled in, sounding drunk. He had a couple of bruises on his body but the more obvious thing about him was how he was butt naked with his underwear around his ankles and only wearing a small shred of his white undershirt and his tie.

The kids stared as he stumbled in and watched him grab a piece of chalk and slide it across the board before he fell over onto the desk.

Then he rolled over the desk and fell onto the floor, legs splayed out, tongue out the side of his mouth, eyes rolling, with birdies chirping as they circled his head.

The kids stared at the scene before more thunderous laughter broke out.

The spitball kid quickly ran up to Tails and hugged him close to him.

"Hey teach. Can we use our phones in class?" He asked.

"Yessirrr~! Day call me Pickle Tom Tom and I've got choo-choo twain toys ta pway wif dis cwhismas~!" Tails slurred out. It made no sense but they heard a yes. 

All of them got out their phones and began taking pictures of him.

They got snapshots of his goofy face. 

They got selfies of them doing a peace sign next to his naked butt.

They even played his bottom long a drum and took a video of that.

It was a fun day at school for the kids.

The principal wandered into the classroom an hour after school ended to check on Tails.

"So? How was your first... day..."

He saw Tails, draped over his desk, naked, with "Big Foxy Bootie!" written in pink marker on his butt. The fox himself was cross-eyed and out-cold.

"Oh... dear..." The principal merely said to himself.

--------

An hour later, Tails was sitting at a chair in the Principal's office in just his rocket ship briefs and what remained of his shirt. He was blushing and looking down at his lap with extreme embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Miles. I knew those kids would be a hassle but I thought you of all people would be able to handle it." The principal admitted.

"Well... yes but I... I was just caught off guard alright?! They surprised me with how ruthless they were." Tails panicked, sweating a bit with frustration. "I promise, tommorow, I'll think of something better to hook them into the lesson with."

"You will?" The principal raised a brow, "But how?"

Tails grumbled. He had to ask questions didn't he? Feh.

That was a good question though.

How?