The State of Things (Patreon)

First off, I want to thank all of you who are supporting me. I am almost moved to tears when I think that 43 people have banded together to keep me alive. That's not hyperbole, by the way; I have literally no idea how I would be able to survive without each one of you. It's because of you guys that I have been able to survive.

Second, I want to apologize for not getting the video out as soon as I'd hoped. Turns out that finals week required around 100 pages of writing out of me (I was able to talk my teachers down in page count). I have now graduated. It's six years later than I'd hoped, but the health nonsense that has plagued my life for so long has been... well, not defeated, but I graduated. I was supposed to die, and instead I fought long and hard and I graduated.

I am alive.

So that's cool. Also turns out that I need a break. So... since I've graduated, I've been busy, but I've also been trying to take it easy. My health, as I've alluded to in various places over the past year or so, has been gradually declining. I was supposed to die, I got better, but I feel like I'm dying again. I'm worried.

Third, I haven't been resting on my laurels. I've been researching ways to get medical help. I've been working on a video, then I killed it completely (it wasn't the right video to start the channel with), and I've started on a new one, which I'm recording footage for now. I've submitted some freelance work to people and made new contacts I'm hoping to take advantage of after E3's hell week is over.

Fourth, work on Game One is proceeding. If you're not aware of Game One, that's the indie game I'm making with some friends. All of you patrons will get a backer-only update here in a bit with some art from the game. Eventually, ya'll will get early access (pre-alpha? alpha? beta? not sure yet!). But hey, we're making progress, getting closer and closer to the fundraising demo we're making.

If you know of anyone who wants to help get a demo ready and maybe keep working on the game after we actually get it funded, I'd appreciate it a lot.

So... basically, I'm struggling, like normal. Patreon is the bulk of my regular income. Without you guys, I seriously do not know how I would survive.

So that's where things are now.

My video "Why Horror Games Need Guns" should hit YouTube next week. Yes, it's a weird title that I'm sure many people would disagree with. I wanted to release something that really communicated my thought processes. Hard drive space is clear, I've recorded some footage of some cool games and am recording more.

I made a video where I tested random Steam games I got from bundles in my library for a few hours to see if I wanted to play with them. People seemed to like it, but it included things like game keys and stuff on my monitor, so I elected against archiving it on YouTube. I'll be doing another one of those this week.

My health is really worrying me, and it's a major complication in my life right now. It's holding everything back.

My car died. 100% died. I was able to purchase an old car from my parents, but, I mean, that's money I wasn't budgeting for or expecting to spend, and since, based on where I live, I need a car... I kinda had to make the purchase.

My roommate's is currently looking for work. This means our income is halved. We are subsisting on food stamps, and the $750 in Patreon I receive now. It costs around $1,000 a month to live. We're $250 short. I have just enough in savings to cover July's rent. I do not have enough to cover August's. I don't know what we'll be doing. Without Patreon, I do not know how I'm going to be able to survive.

I'm stressed to the point of tears. I'm near desperate. My health is preventing me from finding regular work. This awful situation I'm in is completely out of my control. All I can do--all I know how to do--is make some hopefully entertaining stuff about video games.

I made this tweet yesterday. 

After 32 retweets, I'm up from $713 to $773, almost all of which is due to existing pledges. I don't know what else to do.

I could write about games regularly. I've tried making connections, but it seems that people only want me for my analysis, even though I can do news, reviews, interviews, whatever. The best offers I've had so far is one piece a month, doing the kind of thing I'm already doing. I'm going to try to make videos regularly, though I don't expect YouTube ad revenue to make up the $227 difference I need.

I don't mean to get all 'woe is me,' but I'm genuinely scared about survival. Any ideas, advice, connections, heck, even retweets... they'd be appreciated. I cannot thank you enough for all the support you've done so far.

I will try to start writing content for Stomp once a week. Reviews, impressions, random thoughts, maybe, I don't know, turning those long twitter rants I do into articles so they're actually readable... we'll see.

Hopefully, I can get Game One funded and not have to worry about income. We'll see.

That's everything. I'm going to post a cost of living breakdown for me after this. If you don't care about it, then don't worry about it.

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Paying:

Rent: $590/mo

Utilities: $250-350/mo

Bills: $225/mo, going up when I have to start paying back school loans 

Food: Currently the food budget is ~$245 a month, and that's food stamps. I've lost it before, gone over a month with almost no food. 

Currently not paying:

Health: ~$1250/mo.

Medical insurance: idfk, no way I could afford it