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THIS EPISODE BROKE ME!!! | Your Lie in April - EPISODE 13 | REACTION!! (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-07 17:00:15
Imported:
2026-08
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OH MY... THIS EPISODE WAS SO MUCH HARDER TO WATCH THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!

Here is the FULL and UNBLURRED reaction to Your Lie in April - EPISODE 13!!

Enjoy!!

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Comments

Ivan Tipukhov

Fml I was crying after first time watching the whole thing And second time aswell… You leave me no choice but to watch it again…Why Luke? Why… 😓😂😭😭😭

Marcio Neves

I haven't watched your reaction for this show, yet. But came to share that this episode teared me apart. I think I never cried so much as I did for this one, but I still believe this to be a MASTERPIECE that everyone should watch at least once, in their lifetime 😭

Zandrick Krowe

Definitely broke alongside you Luke.

Nikkelz

While not a parent I do understand kousei's position. I had one parent who was abusive & mentally ill while the other was kind and compassionate, however the kind one left me far sooner. I'll never fully blame them for those actions & I still live with that trauma but I understand as an adult WHY they felt they needed to do that what they felt they were preparing me for. and While I will never forgive them for it I still love them, they are still my parent and I'll treasure those happy times. While I've had to remove them from my life to move forward I don't wish them ill will I just hope they can get the help they needed when I was with them. Fear, illness, urgency & mortality can make people do some horrendous actions in the name of some "greater good" and that doesn't excuse those actions. Nor does it even justify them. It does at least help you to understand WHY they did something. No one is trying to justify the mom here, only to understand the desperation she felt and the lengths she went to in some vain hope to leave her son a fighting chance in this world.

Lock Pearl

Your reactions are perfectly valid. At the very least now kousei will mostly remember the good times over the horrid memories

That_Suave_Asian Vlogs

I don't know if he reads these, but a lot of us have been commenting, that illness and treatments can literally change one's personality. Not all the time, and not always to the extreme. But it does happen. Of course, I don't know his life and what he refers to in regard to his upbringing, this is just some insight on illness. Mentally, one person could become someone else entirely after getting sick, especially depending on the treatment and medication. Some turn to lashing out physically and verbally. Others get deeply depressed. While extroverts turn introverted, and vice versa.. It may be confusing "why did she treat him like that", yes, she was worried for his future and wanted to be sure he could have something to depend on. But it could also very well be that she wasn't fully herself anymore due to her dying.. just some insight, in case he ever does see these and is still wondering. that's why support is so important, and to have people who can help you not only during your physical sickness, but even mentally.. i do appreciate his reactions, and hopefully he sees these comments of a lot of people sharing their own personal experiences in these cases

Leonardo Postacchini

Luke, I am a father like yourself, I have said in the past we think and do things very much in the same way, just like you, I am vegan for I cannot agree with cause suffering to others, I also do not believe in being the authority to my kid, I am his friend and I am here to help him when he needs me. But I understand his mother, I do not agree with her actions, but I understand the terror of dying early and leaving behind a young child on their own, the desperation to leave something for him so that he doesn’t starve. It is a like the German poems which Rammstein inspired “Dalai Lama”, in it the father is coming back home on horse bringing his kid and is caught by a storm, he gallops back home holding the kid tight afraid he would fall and don’t realize he is squeezing too hard and ends up suffocating his child. Panic can drive people to do tragedy, I can’t imagine knowing I am about to die and leave a 7 years old on his on.

Earl Preston

thank you for being so real. that really comes across. I can see now why ive actively avoided this for so long. i only remembered certain bits of this which i wont get into till the end. but man there was a lot more involved in this that i must have stashed away to not look. I do once again want to recommend Selector Infected WIXOSS

Earl Preston

Wixoss is a bit unique. its a card game magical girl anime but very psycological. the emotions are truly twisted up. if i would compare it to something tonally it would probably be Madoka Magica without being too on the nose. and without saying anything else.

Ara Araragi

We've done it. We've reached full-on "Your Cry In April" levels 😭

Earl Preston

i think its been a while since ive watched a true heartbreak anime in a current season. maybe all the big emotional ones ive watched impacted me too much. not saying i dont watch more serious ones. its just i tend to balance a few action and rom/comy light hearted ones in my current watch list. I suppose i need to be in the right frame of mind to latch onto a more grounded series or possibly have subconciously passed on what might be a tear jerker from reading the preview description and/or opening.

Aiyuu

Hi Luke, just to give some context. In many traditional Asian families, it’s considered normal to hit your children as a way to educate them. While it may seem weird, brutal and evil to you, that’s exactly how many Asian kids (myself included) and their parents and grandparents were raised. The logic behind it is “What does’t kill you makes you stronger”. Teaching them to be stronger by making them used to the pain. Whether or not this is a good or effective way of teaching children is debatable, but it is still undoubtedly a method of education. My point is that parents aren’t exactly evil just because they use violence in the process of teaching their kids. Maybe they could have gone about it differently, but at the end of the day the love is still real.

Earl Preston

ditto. though i mentioned earlier this year i was going through a lot personally and i guess i latched onto a re-watch as sort of a way to do deal with it subconcisouly in addition to pushing through, luckily im on the other side and looking up but still when your in the midst of some drastic change perspective helps a lot.

Ara Araragi

I don't condone Saki's actions, but I do want to raise a question: where was Kousei's father in all this? We haven't seen him yet because he's regularly away for work, but he's still in the picture and we're told that he does come home. Yet Saki went to such extreme lengths to make sure Kousei could support himself when she was gone. She acted like he'd have no one left after. What does that say about the father?

Xhaxhu

Man, I'll say that the Dub line for the last statement hits a lot harder. "I fear he's on a painful path. And if he decides to tread this path, how long before the Muses demand another sacrifice."

виина

I understand her motive, BUT But still, this doesn't give her the right to hit her child

Subaquatic Toaster

I dont think anyone hates you for being harsh, but I mean its important to remember that even shitty parents aren't irredeemable monsters. They're just people.

TheElementalerWars

Luke I don't think anyone will hate you because of your harshness, and if they do they just need to go elsewhere. Your reaction to the way Kousei's mom treated him are 100% valid. What she did is vile and inexcusable. That said, the people who aren't so harsh are valid as well. Illness, medication, and the looming threat of death all change people in ways you'd never believe. I love how complex the characters in this series are, and love that they can cause people to have such varying oppinions on them!

Phoenix_mercury

*not all shitty parents are irredeemable monsters, their is some that are...

Phoenix_mercury

I understand the why behind his mother's actions but said actions are still inexcusable, where tf was anyone else? Where was his father? We know he travels but jfc, I also had a rough upbringing considering I have amnesia(I remember nothing up til about 13ish) and got DID from it, I'm a parent and raised my little brother and I can't fathom how anyone can lay their hands on a child in a negative manner unless for their safety(shoving out of the way of danger, grabbing hair/coat ect of they're trying to run into danger ect) otherwise fk no! I have slapped people who tried to lay their hands on my brother, idc do not hit him, multiple times trying to "discipline" him. The whole situation with his mother is just sad and sucks all around

Malik Ford

Felt the same way buckaroo

Oatmeal1504

Saki is a classic asian mom. There's definitely a disconnect with western audiences because of how foreign this type of thing is to us (relatively speaking)

Cyber

9:00 Luke i think there's different cultures in terms of light discipline, especially if a kid is out of line or endangered another child or themselves (it's born out of fear and the cultural sense of associating a negative outcome with an action). I grew up in the middle east, and i've only ever got the slipper boomerang once in my life but i remember how bad it was and looking back at it, i almost caused a major accident to my younger sibling, but even now, when i'm sick and going through a lot at 36 years old, it's that mother who's by my side and helping me along the way with everything, including my mental toll, because the discipline that she did back then wasn't something that she did out of enjoyment, but out of fear, and even she would recognize it as such. That was the one time i ever got disciplined poorly even though i grew up to be the valedectorian of my class and went on to be a successful engineer because as a prodigy myself as a child... but unlike kousei's mom, my parents had their hopes and faith in my skills but always gave me the option to make my own choices and not push me to live hteir dreams or anything (based on the current knowledge of this show up to this minute mark). So while there's gentle discipline or reactionary actions (ex: Eisen punching Stark in Frieren out of pure fear and reflex, and he regrets every second of it), there's difference in those asian cultures than the western cultures... because over there, they do TRY to teach the kids to be good and work hard etc with positive reinforcement, but removing the fear of the negative reinforcement altogether, for some parents, is the equivalent of telling a country that there's no jail time or fines for anything a person can do.. yes most people will go about not doing anything bad, but those who arent' afraid of the punishment, the ones who need it, will abuse it... and the same goes with parents, as they may step out of line somewhere. Again, not advocating for any of that, I'm just saying it's diffferent mindsets to the west, and kids grow up differently, but even WITH the mindset of the east here, Hino was telling Saki that she crossed a line, that what she did isn't EVEN a slap or something light that she can pretend was just "parenting" but was actually something that no other parent could ever let slide even WITH the benefit of the doubt... factor that in with the fact that she's sick and dying and SCARED. not just of death, but for kousei, she can't think straight.. She was a loving mother all his life for kousei, but it's those last few months that altered her brain chemistry and she couldn't think straight... it's like someone who's stuck in quick sand, and panicking and flailing left and right, trying to do whatever she can, but she's not even ntrying to get out of the sand, she knows she's done for, she's trying to save kousei of that fate, even if in her head it means to wrap a vine aroudn his neck and hope that he realizes that he can untangle it to climb out, instead of the vine being too far away from his short limbs. Note: I'm not a parent myself because I unfortunately can't have kids... so it's been my dream to be a parent but I can't. So instead, I have two beautiful dogs that I raised when they were pups, and I trained and they're great office dogs now, and one of them is an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) too, so I did my part. And yes there were some times where I yelled out of fear or concern, or pushed my dog a bit too strong because he was walking towards b roken glass or medicine on the ground: because the action seemed trivial at the time vs letting them get hurt on glass or swallow poison, but if ANYONE touches my dogs or hurts them, I would murder them... I've went on dates where i saw my dogs crying on the dog nanny cam and i couldn't go through a date because i was worried about him at the time, and I left and immediately went home to play with my dog and hug him relentlessly and show him that i'm not gone gone... and it may soudn harsh, but even as they grow older, i'd rather my dogs die peacefully first and let ME carry the weight of their death and memory vs me dying first and not being able to rest, because i'd be eternally worried that my dogs would think that i left and abandoned them, wondering why their dad never came back home. So it's a different mindset to all luke. You have the right to your opinion, but it's not black and white. I'll tell you as much. I happen to sit in a different shade of grey than you do, looking at the different side of the spectrum of it all, but that doesn't mean that either of us right or wrong: it's just perspectives. :)

Rem is best waifu

Yeah I can see both sides, as a parent I say it is messed up to do this to your child even if you do it "out of love". However I am not Japanese and the culture is different also going through certain treatments and medications does change your personality, I was blessed with good parents that I strive to even be a fraction as good as. This anime helps alot of people I am sure that deal with problems I never have been through so I wish everyone the best out of life and as always, thanks for the reaction Luke.

Jessica

Ngl i don’t remember what happens this episode but the comments are scaring me what the heck am i about to press play to?😅

Cirqque

Not a parent, but I will still give my thoughts... I can understand and empathise with Kousei's mother's sentiments and intention, and I understand that illness can have serious mental effects and cause personality changes in some cases. Regardless, the reality is that she was cruel to her child, and has left him with emotional trauma that will haunt him for his entire life, even after he's made peace with it. No matter her intentions, she has done something unforgivable to her child, so Luke feeling weird aand having conflicting emotions is 100% understandable, especially considering how clear they make it that Kousei does still love her despite everything and still mourning her loss.

Airtiger

Nah this episode kicked my ass as well. It was so hard to watch. Amazingly well written, but painful

Alfred Chow

I think it was imply that Kousei guilt for wishing his mom to die has cloud his memory make him block off all the good moments and amplify all the bad moments. The dark Saki in wheelchair is the what he thought his mom is thinking. Till this ep where he final understand that his mom love him.

sparkfly2000

From my view, Saki was a layered character. She started as a kind and supportive mother, but as she became sick and knew she was going to leave Kousei too soon, her fear twisted her. She resorted to horrible measures in an attempt to "grow up" Kousei early since she knew she would leave him. And she even acknowledges it, that she has become a horrible mother, but she desperately wanted Kousei to live and thrive without her. This is the opinion of someone who grew up with two loving parents and who has no children, but someone who is deeply fascinated with character-building and storytelling. All-in-all, Kousei in this episode hung onto the best parts of her and, by my interpretation, forgave the worst of her. As a watcher, I find myself doing the same. I like the side of her that was a supportive mother and despise what she became. I would also like to add, Luke, if you read this, that I think you're harshness is a good thing. From what I've seen of you, you're a great father, and from what I've heard of you during this reaction, you have past experiences that shape your opinion on this matter. Your opinion is wholly your own, and I know I at least could never hate you for sharing that.

Tysado

As a father to a 1.5 yr old with another on the way, I have always loved hearing how MUCH you absolutely love being a parent. It’s such a beautiful thing, thank you for always sharing ❤️

jdoggivjc

I think it's perfectly valid to feel conflicted about Kousei's mother. She was not always a monster; in fact, she didn't necessarily want Kousei devoting his life to piano because she knew firsthand how difficult that is. But once that decision was made, she committed to making Kousei the best he could possibly be at it... and it turned out he had a generational talent. Then, somewhere along the line, the illness and/or the medicine she was taking changed her personality from a loving and caring one to an abusive one. This doesn't excuse how she treated Kousei... but it also means she's not the only one at fault, either. The other people in the mother's life never did anything after witnessing the change, such as reporting it to the doctors, and if they did, the doctors never did anything to change the medication... nor get Kousei out of danger until it was already too late. Regardless of how many peoples' fault it was, in the end everyone failed Kousei because it literally altered his life for years. In the end, knowing how drastically Kousei's mother changed as her illness worsened, it's less that I hate Kousei's mother and more that I sympathize with him that nobody ever stepped in.

cread13

this anime is so damn good while also being so damn bad which is what makes it so amazing. glad you are enjoying the emotional roller-coaster its a special show and worth all the emotional turmoil it brings.

Lumineon

I think in this case it's different... Beating your kid for discipline is one thing, but leaving him bruised, scarring them mentally, and socially isolating him is just abuse, not discipline. I say this even when I grew up in a Spanish household where dad would constantly discipline me with a belt whenever I did something wrong. And he never went that far. I also think there is a difference between disciplining your children to prevent bad behaviour. And disciplining them to force them onto a path and a dream you would like for them. I think one is way more acceptable parenting than the other. If Asia's culture is fostered in bad parenting, that doesn't make it normal; it's still wrong, common, but wrong. The message here is that people can change drastically when they are met with a prognosis that they'll soon die. And in Saki's case, her love for Kousei mixed with desperation and fear, turned into abuse. I just wish someone were there to support and prevent Saki from going down that path.

Aiyuu

I think when it comes to disciplining children by beating, it’s pretty much a given that the child would be scarred by mentally and physically in one way or another. My story is just a regular case of a traditional family but even I was beaten until bleeding and bruised a few times. I’m not saying this is the normal standards but the truth is it’s hard to control the amount of force when you beat your kids while being angry. So unintended injuries always happen. Kousei’s case is a more extreme version of my story since his mother knew she was dying and ended up trying too hard to make him learn faster. But even so he wasn’t socially isolated. Sure he was kept in the house practicing piano more than a normal kid should, but he was still allowed to go out playing with friends. Otherwise, he wouldn’t even have time to bond with his two childhood friends. Yes he was also scarred emotionally but let’s be real, every kid growing up in this kind of traditional family hated their parents when they were kids and thought that their parents hated them (me too!). But when you grow up and look at the big picture, you’d realize that they were just clumsy parents trying to raise their kids the way their own parents raised them. Again, whether this is a good method of teaching is up for debate, but the most important thing is there’s good intention underneath the surface and that’s what makes it different from abuse.

HKAMILAH

Beyoncé reactions please 🤍

Slipstream

Tear collectors rejoice!

Slipstream

Think about this: If we take the same story and just change it from playing piano to fighting demons or whatnot. You have a typical battle shonen training arch. Why is it okay for a child to be physically abused in a battle shonen anime but wrong in a drama? Conflicted? lol Luke's baggage has colors his perspective. It has blinded him. But the vail has been lifted. Every story has two sides. Parenting is hard work. Remeber all those jabs at the doctor's office. Why was that okay? Didn't your children cry? Oh yeah, it's because sometimes short term pain provideds long term benefit. Also, do keep in mind tha the author made the mother harsh as a plot vehicle. You where suppose to hate the mom. lol Lastly: You reacted to a video about Flowers of Evil. You dismissed it. Remember how Your Lie in April makes you feel something? Flowers of Evil is at the same level. But it's a different emotion. Flowers of Evil makes you feel what the MC is feeling. You will feel the stress & the tension. You will be filled with a sense of dread. Aku no Hana/ Flowers of Evil ain't no joke. If you ever watch it, you will understand.

Jay P

I don't think feeling sorry for someone and condeming their actions are exclusive. I can mourn the loss of the once kind mother kousei had, be mournful of the illness that took her life and sanity and emphathise with the feeling of wanting to leave your child with anything you can to prepare them for the world. But then at the same thime aknowledge and condemn the horrible actions she took during it. Both feelings can coexist.

Chad

I'll just say this. I understand the worry and emotions that the mother had, but nothing could justify what she did. People use illness and everything as an excuse to justify what they know is wrong. To be honest, I had parents who were more strict on me than my older brother. I had to do more chores. They griped at me more, there were times they slapped me across the face with their rings on and left a bruise on my face and gave me a bloody nose. There were times they dragged me across the ground on my back with me getting scraped up, and there were also times they threw stuff at me. I'll admit there were times that I did things that were wrong and I deserved to get in trouble but I don't think I did anything bad enough that I deserved that. I still love my parents. My dad passed away when I was 20 my mom is still alive and she's getting better about not pushing her opinions on me cause they did that a lot. Even after I moved out. My mom kept pushing her opinions on me. Basically it made me feel like they just kept me around for the chores like they loved my brother more and like nothing I did was ever good enough. And it filled me with self-doubt. It's scarred my heart and mind.

ThePrphtsShdw

exactly it seems like his dad was never around, even when his wife is sick and dying he just abandons the family?

ZeroShonen

Saki's story is really, really complex. Fans that don't condone or feel sorry for her are valid, of course, but so are fans that forgive her or at least understand her more in some ways. I don't want to make spam here, so I'll phrase it instead of sharing it: There is a Psychotherapist who does reactions, using his knowledge, the fact that he is asian and he was in the war, among other things, to give a more medical perspective about this, which can be summarised as Horrible actions but understanding on why, it's a very good POV if anyone wants to search for it. In summary, as unfortunately many people know, death, or more specifically, the fact of knowing that someone is going to die, can drastically change a person, especially the person in question (plus all the medicines). Not wanting to disregard what Luke is saying, of course, but even a person like him, or any other, can end up like Saki, even if they believe that's impossible. Not saying that it is 100% guaranteed, of course, but depending on the situation, it can happen. Not willingly, but there will be cases where the mind can't hold the situation, maybe the sickness and/or the medicines are affecting the brain as well, or many other factors can take place, but being realistic, it is totally possible for someone to fall under that darkness without wanting it, or maybe they are seeing it as the only way to move forward in some way. I've never agreed with Saki's behavior since the first time I watched this, and I still don't, but sadly, I do understand that I can't judge her entirely. Even as a fictional character, this is something that happens in real life as well, not all the time, but surely happens. Mostly cuz I've seen with my own eyes how a person can do a full 180 when facing a situation like this. That's why when Luke asked "How can a friend be standing still when she sees something like that" (or more or less he said haha) when talking about Saki hitting Arima, in this specific context, I believe that it was because they have known each other for most of their lives, they know exactly how each other is, and have raised Arima together. Hiroko was probably in conflict, knowing that Saki was not really like that and not really sure how to approach the situation, but still was confronting her in some way. Knowing a person so well and seeing them change so brutally can throw you off way more than expected. In a lot of ways, Saki's story is a very realistic situation; it is unfortunate, and it is totally fine not wanting to forgive her, but at the same time, it is a good way to see a horrible scenario that can totally happen.

Toukbird

Luke, while I know a lot of people have come to the defense of Saki, I’ll be blunt…I agree with you and to be honest, she’s a big reason why I didn’t love this anime as much as most people do. I’m not a parent, but I will say this, I suffer from depression and anxiety and even when I’m in my darkest moments, I could NEVER hit a child, ESPECIALLY for a reason as petty as Saki is doing it for. It’s especially frustrating to me because if I were on my death bed, the LAST thing I would want to do is give my child a reason to hate me. Long story short, I just can’t forgive her either. It sucks because when I first watched this anime, I really wanted to love it and to be fair, I do still think it’s a great anime…but Saki is really the main reason why I just can’t love this anime and can’t consider it one of my favorites. While I watch and love a lot of sad anime, I just think this one is just unnecessarily cruel. Again, I do want to emphasize to anyone who is considering responding, I’m not calling it bad. I think Your Lie in April is a great anime…I just didn’t like the elements I pointed out and it’s the main thing that kept me from loving it. I can understand why a lot of people do love it and consider it a masterpiece, I just can’t. It just rubs me the wrong way.

davguev

I don't even wanna be a parent, I didn't have a bad childhood, and I totally don't pity her at all, she mistreated and abused Kōsei. She doesn't deserve pity or forgiveness, even if she's sick or whatever. Maybe you can understand her point of view, but that's not the way to solve her worry about leaving him alone. And her friend is partially to blame as well for letting that happen.

Danny

Am a parent. I don't excuse her at all, but the pain of wanting to make sure your kids can survive without you when your time is clearly limited is a harsh reality. I will never forgive her, but the pain they both feel hits beyond deep.

LKCynric

Honestly you're not wrong to deslike her. I do too. But I also pity her. I dont like her for what she did, but I pity her. She died knowing the last thing her son said to her was "i wish you would just die". The series makes you feel sorry for her, while still hating what she did. That said.... two big problems never addressed. HE HAS A FATHER. Who never shows up, it was only mentioned once so far. And i think he's even worst than the mother. The kid, 14 or 15 is living alone, with trauma and hes not around? He's the worst. Also, I understand they are trying to say "oh she was very harsh on him because she was afraid he couldn't make a living!!".... sorry what? not only is that obviously wrong BUT HER BEST FRIEND IS THE LEADING PIANIST IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY... ASK HER..... wtf??????? hello???? Makes even less sense.

Chris

Don't worry Luke, personally I've always thought of Saki as becoming extremely mentally ill because of her situation, not that she is a bad person in general. But that does not in any way excuse how she treated Kosei. And personally, not all the way back then, or even now rewatching it, do I like that state of her in any way. I have the the opposite of your upbringing with the most loving parents one could have, and I can not for the life of me imagine any parent treating their kid like that! So I don't blame you at all for your stance on it, I already agree, and believe I would even more agree if I had kids of my own!

Fábio Almeida Rocha

As a person that have been abused by parents, I can understand you Luke. Its rough watching this stuff and pretebding thats how abusing parents think. I'm no father yet but I love this series because it hits close to home. The writing is brilliant and in the end parents scars their children. We are a great generation because of this, we know and doesn't want to make our children suffer the sane problems, people that reflect their on problems on a home space

PorterDragneel

Being a parent is a forever learning experience , when you realize you aren’t going to be there to protect them & guide them throughout their childhood I can’t even imagine the thought. While i 100% disagree with how she went about it , i dont know what the fear an impending death does to a parent of a young child’s mind

Mericat

The complexity of human relationships, especially with parents in a lot of cases, can be really difficult to accept. But two things can be true at the same time: you can love someone and forgive them and have happy memories with them, and also have trauma that they are responsible for. Kousei’s mother cherished him and gave him so many good things, *and* when she got sick, she let fear and desperation twist that love into something irreparably harmful. It’s hard to describe, but I know exactly how Kousei feels. I grew up with a violent parent, one whose actions were driven by an undiagnosed mental and hormonal issue that she couldn’t control. I know this, and I love her, and I don’t blame her, but none of that means that I don’t remember the things she did and know that it fundamentally changed who I am and how I will react to certain triggers for the rest of my life. It took a long time to reconcile my feelings about all that, but I can empathize with how Kousei must feel, recognizing that he still holds a lot of good memories and love for someone who caused him so much pain.