Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

Content

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U0n0XO5OU1F-b42jjiJchxhn4_JKCsKCDXv4eNGwrgE

Comments

Vgoldtime

Jiro gets more broken from those rolls. It's actually kinda funny that having sex all day is in fact productive for him considering how his power works.

Helen of Boy

Oh, five seconds of REAL time. Holy shit that's useful. Neat point on it fitting the theme, sort of, too. Jiro really got a LOT out of this little ritual and its aftermath.

Megamiaouh

You know Jiro might be capable of using that five seconds of sped up time in his Marble, which with his other bonus against god like entity would seriously fuck up anyone who's close enough to the favored enemy type. Tough of course that much strain might just explode his heart too.

Einar Strandberg

There's a few really big run on sentences in the sex scene. I can't tell if they're intentional or not, but they did make it a bit harder to read. Also: “Yes, it’s important to purify yourself after performing a black mass or so I understand,” needs a comma before "or".

Ebiris Fanfiction

Yeah run on sentences are hard enough for me to fight against, and group sex scenes make it way worse as I ramble about everything going on. Went back and tidied that up some, thanks for pointing it out.