My Dungeon's Keeper - Chapter 1 - A Harsh Awakening (Patreon)

This is absolutely something that I shouldn't be working on right now. I need new TBoB chapters, and I have three other ACTIVE story projects but... When Womby's brain starts braining, I can't unbrain it.

And then something like this happens.

I'm actually fairly proud of this chapter, it feels... smoother? Better fleshed out? I don't know, something about it felt good to me.

I hope you enjoy.

“Sarah, it’s time to get up!” 

My comfortable fortress of comfort was rudely ripped open, jump starting my sleep addled mind as light entered my blurry eyes and cold air flowed across my bare arms and legs.

“Ehhh… five more minutes?” I pleaded my longterm girlfriend Nicole as she held my comforter hostage a couple steps away. We both knew that in order to retrieve it I’d have to step on the cold wooden floor, and that would only wake me further. A devilish tactic.

“You said the exact same thing an hour ago when I got up,” Nicole replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “Then again, half an hour ago when I went to make breakfast. You’ve lost your snooze button privileges. Besides, you promised me you’d start looking for a new job today.”

“Ugh… I thought you wanted me to get out of bed, not crawl into a corner and cry,” I groaned as I pulled in my legs so I could hug my knees. “Every job that I apply to, I’m either underqualified, overqualified, or the interviewer just plain doesn’t like me. And even if I do get a position, I always get let go after a couple of weeks due to some minor misunderstanding.”

“Really?” Nicole snorted. “You call what happened at your last job a ‘minor misunderstanding?’”

“It wasn’t like I killed a guy or burned down the store,” I replied hesitantly. “It was just a slight disagreement between colleagues.”

“You bit one of your co-workers because he insulted our cats,” Nicole said.

“He had it coming!” I exclaimed jumping to my feet. “He told me that Mrs Frizzy was ugly! No one gets away with that!”

“I know you love our animals, but you really need to learn to control yourself sometimes,” Nicole sighed, before folding the comforter in half and laying it at her feet. “I left a plate of bacon and eggs in the kitchen for you. You better hurry up, because I plan to open the kitchen door before I leave, and if you’re not fast enough the cats will get your breakfast.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” I gasped.

“My ride is arriving in five minutes, so you better be quick,” she replied with a small sinister smile before turning and strolling out of the room.

“I love the fuzz babies, but there’s no way I’m giving up my bacon,” I muttered, dropping back to my knees and leaning over the edge of the bed to fish for my slippers. 

The set of worn, grey, fuzzy bunny slippers had, at one time been a cute pair of booties, but over the last few years they’d developed so many holes they resembled a pair of sandals more than boots. I didn’t care though, as long as they kept my feet from touching the cold floor they were good enough for me. 

I carefully slipped them on before finally climbing out of bed and jogging over to the bathroom door to retrieve my orange, cat eared bathrobe from it’s place on the door hanger before quickly donning the fuzzy refuge against the cold on.

Normally I liked to have a shower after getting up, it was a nice way of waking up that did not involve freezing to death, however it wasn’t often that Nicole made bacon for breakfast and there was no way I was going to risk giving it up. Even if it was to the cats.

Pulling my robe closer I shoved open the heavy wooded door and stepped into the hallway. I loved our old house, it had a lot of history, and character. The hallways were just a little narrower and a couple feet higher than you’d find in a modern home, and almost all of the trim, railings, and other details were done in real hardwood; Something you’d have to pay an arm and a leg for these days. 

However, with the good, came the bad. The house always seemed to have a cold draft passing through it, no matter the season, and despite replacing both the insulation and the windows, we just couldn’t get rid of it.

As I made my way down the hall towards the stairs, a pair of familiar fuzzy faces popped up. One appearing at the top of the stairs, and the other poking her head around the edge of the wall ahead of me. 

“Friz, what have I told you about walking across the trim?” I asked the grey tabby. She gave me a sly smile, like she was taunting me, before replying ‘Mow’ and disappearing around the corner again. 

I sighed as I walked up so I could glance around the corner at the smug feline. One of the features I absolutely loved about our house was the massive foyer, which was a large open space with massive glass windows above the door which let in a ton of light. The only part I didn’t like is that one of the previous owners had decided to run some extremely thick ornate trim around the room, level with the second floor. 

It was a pain to clean, to narrow to properly decorate, and although it was too narrow for the cats to lounge on, it didn’t stop Frizzy from using it as her own personal perch to stare down at everyone in the house so she could judge them.

“Fine then, if you’re not willing to listen to me I’m not willing to share my bacon with you,” I grumbled. Frizzy paused for a moment, glanced back at me, then just sat down and started grooming herself. We both knew I was bluffing. “And good morning to you too Kooky,” I whispered, leaning down to pet the Callico at my feet. She didn’t hesitate to shove her head directly into my hand, tattered ear first. 

Her given name was actually Cookie, however I’d given her the nickname after witnessing her perform one too many crazy acts. Leaping off the second floor to attack the vaccuum cleaner after running away everytime we brought it out, trying to burrow through the floor to get at something and, in her most famous manouver, making friends with a racoon so they could gang up on a stray dog that had been stalking the neighbourhood. 

With the morning greetings done I swiftly descended the stairs, slipped around the corner to cut through the living room, then pulled open the sliding door to the kitchen.

Nicole, who was seated at the far end of our small dinning table, glanced up and lowered her tablet. “I honestly didn’t think you’d make it,” she said as she pulled off her glasses and slipped them into her purse.

“Of course I made it, there was bacon on the line,” I replied as I looked her up and down suspiciously. She was wearing a pair of sleek black slacks that complemented her hair, and a smart blouse. She normally wore some pretty nice business wear, but this was a step up from the usual.

Plus it was black, and we lived in a house full of cat hair; It would have to be a special occasion to risk the layer of staticy shed hair that would eventually find it’s way to the fancy slacks.

“What’s the special occasion?”

“The entire office is going out to lunch to celebrate Spencer’s retirement,” she replied, rising to her feet.

“I thought that was next week,” I replied.

“You don’t have to scrunch up your face like that,” she laughed, grabbing her purse and throwing it over her shoulder. “You didn’t misremember. Apparently there’s some important visitor expected in the next few days, so it’s going to be all hands on deck for the next couple weeks; This is our last chance to go out.”

“Who’s important enough to come to this tiny town, and require the attention of all the government employees?” I asked as I wandered towards the coffee pot.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “All I know is they’ve required that everyone from the utilities and infrastructure teams be on standby for the foreseeable future.” 

“Weird,” I muttered. I plucked my black kitty mug off the display rack behind the coffee maker and filled it right to the rim, before turning back to Nicole and taking a nice long sip. “So are you going to be late today?”

She shook her head. “Thankfully, no. This might be the last time I’ll be back on time for quite awhile though,” she said.

“Well, in that case, I’ll make something nice for dinner before you get home!” I declared. “Have a date night, maybe cuddle up in front of a movie before you disappear.”

“That would be nice,” she whispered softly, before crossing the room and giving me a kiss. “Remember your promise!” she called as she turned and rushed towards the front door.

“I won’t,” I grumbled quietly. “After bac…” As I turned towards the counter where my breakfast was waiting I saw something that made me pause mid sentence. Sitting there over my plate, bacon in mouth, was Frizzy.

“Don’t you even think about it,” I hissed, locking eyes with the cat.

She met my gaze, narrowed her eyes, and bolted, nearly knocking the rest of the plate all over the floor.

“I’m not letting you have three strips!” I yelled as I chased after her. “They’re not good for you!”

I lost sight of her for a quarter of a second as she darted around the stairs. I didn’t take the corner quite as gracefully as I slid across the hardwood in my threadbare slippers, but thankfully I still managed to catch her just as she slipped into the small room we used as a broom closet under the stairs.

“Ah hah! You’ve trapped yourself, nowhere to go now!” I declared triumphantly, yanking open the flimsy door. 

As soon as I did I was hit with a sudden gust of cold, wet air. It was so strong that it knocked me back a step, and I had to raise my arms to protect my face.

When it finally died down I cautiously lowered my arms, and looked into what should have been a tiny compartment barely large enough for me to stand up straight in.

Instead of the nice tidy space that I was used to there was now a staircase made of massive stone bricks, not that dissimilar to what you’d see in a medevil castle or tomb, and all our cleaning supplies were scattered down them. 

Kooky came up next to me, stared at the hole for a moment, then turned to me and meowed.

I stared at the inky darkness trying to make sense of it before finally grasping what was the most logical thought rattling around my head at the time. “Nicole really isn’t going to like this,” I muttered.