TBoB - Book 8 - Chapter 22 - Self Help or Self Torment? (Patreon)

I felt my eyebrow twitch as I followed the insane network of pointers and forwarding addresses until I finally tracked down the next message in my list. “Finally,” I muttered as I located, and opened the message.

[Target eliminated.]

“Nyx!” I screemed, jumping out of my chair and flailing around wildly. It was a good thing I hadn’t been performing the checks with a physical tablet, because I’m pretty sure I would have put it right through the fucking wall. “Who’s the insane madman who designed this message system? Point me towards them so I can throttle them to death!”Not having fun with your message system? Nyx asked slyly.

“Not only do I somehow have close to seven thousand messages to review, but for some reason each message is stored at the original source and I have to follow a lyberenthine set of forwarding addresses to locate and read each of them. I’m doing all the work mentally, and it’s still taking for fucking ever,” I hissed. “Who made this? Tell me! Who?”Technically… you did, Nyx replied.

“Uhhhh… come again?” I asked blankly. My previous rage nearly forgotten in my new found confusion. “I made this?”

Well, technically it was a collaborative effort between you and your bears. Nyx said. Since you didn’t want to handle every single issue the instant it came in the bears had to come up with a way to alert you, without passing the full context of the message. While this system worked well in theory… every time a bear was out of contact with the main network they had to try and forward the notification to nearby units in a vain hope that it would somehow find it’s way back to the network.

“Are you telling me the whole reason I’m digging through a near infinite number of forwarding addresses is because my forces got caught up in the Gene Tender’s chaff?” I asked incrediously.

No, no, no. It’s because you decided that it would be easier if you didn’t have to consciously deal with every issue the instant it came in. The chaff thing is just a side effect, Nyx replied. Seriously Evelyn, the Command and Control network is running on an implant inside your head. Where did you think that information was going to be stored, if you didn’t want it in your head?

I shrugged. “I don’t know… a central server somewhere?” 

You ARE the central server, Nyx said. 

“Ahhh…” I muttered. “I, uh, guess I’ve never really sat down and thought about the full ramifications of having this thing in my head, because I’ve never thought of the implant in that way. In my mind it’s always been more of a communication tool.”It’s a lot more than that, Nyx replied. Thankfully the same brain modifications that prevent you from having a brain hemorage every time you try to control more than a dozen bears at the same time also allow you to perform all the necessary calculations, and issue the necessary commands, on a completely subconscious level. It’s actually impressive how you’ve somehow managed to completely segregate that part of your mind until you need to perform some sort of advanced calculation.“Wait… that’s not normal?” I asked.

Of course not. All the brain mods were supposed to do was increase your capacity for processing information. While most beings would be capable of shunting some of that work to the subconscious, or some sort of secondary processing center in the brain, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a single entity that was able completely offload those processes, Nyx said.

I stared blankly at the far wall for a minute. “Why haven’t you ever mentioned any of this before?” I asked.

Because, my dear Evelyn, even though I’d love to give you tips and feedback on all your decisions, I know that if I hovered around and criticised your decision, you’d quickly come to hate me. You like to make your own decisions, and own mistakes, and will rarely listen to someone else once you’ve made your mind up, Nyx explained. The protector code prevents me from directly interfering in both your decisions and conflicts, so all I can do is provide you advice, suggest catalogs that would fit your combat style, and facilitate purchases. I decided quite early on in our relationship that it would probably be the best idea to hang back, provide advice whenever you ask for it, and only interject when you were making a blatantly wrong decision; I have to say, after observing you all this time, I think I made the right decision. You’ve done some extremely amusing choices over the years.

“Nyx… are you using me for entertainment purposes?” I asked suspiciously.

I didn’t say that.

“No, but isn’t that what you were just suggesting?” I prompted.

No comment, Nyx replied.

“Ugh… this conversation is making my head hurt,” I muttered. “We should get back on track before I completely forget what we were talking about… So, the whole reason the system is fucked up and broken, and I have to deal with all these redirects, is that my brain is screwy. That’s wonderful; Is there some way to fix it?”Well, hold on a minute. While I did say it was strange that you could completely partition part of your brain, and have it handle all the required administration tasks, I didn’t say that was a bad thing, Nyx said. In fact, it’s made you extremely efficient. Besides your messages, have you had a single problem with your command system until now?

“No? Wait… does having my command staff talk back, and constantly point out my numerous issues count?” I asked.

No, that’s something they learned from you. A personality issue, not a hardware one, Nyx replied.

I winced. “You know, you probably could have worded that in a slightly less harsh way,” I said.

I could have, but I don’t like to beat around the bush, Nyx said. Besides, I like to watch you argue with aspects of yourself, it’s amusing. 

“I knew you it,” I grumbled. “You were finding enjoyment in my suffering.”How could I not? It was like watching you have an internal monologue after loosing the ability to mute one part of your personality. It’s fascinating, Nyx purred. But, that’s beside the point. Have you ever had a problem controlling your forces after recieving the mental enhancements, or the updated implant?

“Only when in an area full of extreme interference,” I replied.

And even then the system managed to offload a lot of the work to secondary processing nodes; Your squad mates, Nyx said. And have you missed anything essential by not checking your messages lately?“I don’t know… I haven’t finished checking them,” I grumbled. 

Let me save you the trouble, you have not, Nyx said, before pausing. As an aside here, you really should learn to ask for help occasionally, because you don’t always have to handle everything yourself, and sometimes there’s someone around who can help you finish a tedious job much faster, but that’s a discussion for another time. My point is: Up to this point have you had any issues with your processes up to now?

“Uh, no?” I replied hesitantly.

And have you experienced any problems due to not checking your messages before today? Nyx prompted.

“Beside missing the proposals for dangerous projects from the beavers, causing me to make a fool out of myself? Not to the best of my knowledge,” I muttered.

In that case, has it occurred to you that the only problem in your current process is that you have messages stored in the network? If you’d just had your squad mates collect, and relay important information to you, or had the bears report to an outside source, like say the command center on the bridge, you wouldn’t have this problem?

“And what happens if I forget to check those outside sources?” I asked.

Ask someone to remind you. It’s not like you’re completely surrounded by a legion of artificial troops with near infalible memories, Nyx replied.

“You know… that makes a lot of sense. I should talk to Spooky and ask him to set up a central message repository, and have someone alert me when something important comes in, or remind me to check in if I haven’t done it for awhile,” I said, turning towards the door. “Thanks Nyx. I really should have talked to you sooner.”Yes you should have, my AI replied. And since we’ve finished discussing your message problem, perhaps we could discuss your inability to ask for help, or rely upon others, when you’re not in an emergency situation while on the way to the bridge. I have a whole lot to say about that, Nyx declared.

“You know, I thought I was getting out of that discussion to easily,” I said, before sighing. “I guess I owe it to you after you calmed me down, and talked me through my message issue. Lecture away.”Thank you Evelyn, Nyx said. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to talk to you about this.

I felt a shudder go down my spine. “Something tells me I’m going to regret this.”