Script Excerpt: Proto-Nitehox circa 2015 (Patreon)

A story set in a restaurant was one of the earliest ideas I had for a Softies episode, and at some point I considered using it for the second episode.

This bit of dialogue was me jumping into that idea with no particular goal in mind. It was written as part of a string of aimless dialogues exploring potential stories. For context, this notebook spread is like two pages after the finished draft of the first episode, and two pages before I started writing Who's Minding the Print, the actual second episode.

This dialogue also includes a character named Aberfallow who's basically an entirely separate character from the Aberfallow we meet in Nitehox. This draft posits Aberfallow as the owner of the restaurant and also like, an old friend of Arizona's, which I eventually decided was out of character for Arizona. Also, this Aberfallow is a "he" but the one I eventually wrote for Nitehox is a "they". Basically, I thought up the name Aberfallow before having a character to give it to.

Anyway, here's a transcript, which actually has a couple good jokes mixed in with the rampant cursing and out-of-character dialogue!

Kay and Arizona sit inside Aberfallow's restaurant. Maybe Euclid can be there too.

ARIZONA: So, this is what we call a "restaurant", you can order food here and eat it as well

KAY: We had restaurants on Earth, I'm familiar with the concept.

ARIZONA: Cool, cool.

ARIZONA: I stop here a lot; it intersects with a lot of routes I take.

KAY: What are you eating?

ARIZONA: Oh, my omelette?

KAY: That's not a f*****g omelette

ARIZONA: It's a blend of some jungle insects and ufot.

KAY: Ufot?

ARIZONA: Yeah y'kno, ufot

KAY: I don't know ufot

ARIZONA: It's like a protein food made of beansoys

KAY: You mean soybeans?

ARIZONA: What the f**** is soybeans

ARIZONA: Do you want a piece?

KAY: Ugh, no.

ARIZONA: You have to eat something.

KAY: Don't tell me what to do.

ARIZONA: You'll starve.

KAY: I have my family sized box of saltines. I'll be dead from space-fever before I run outta there.

Aberfallow arrives on the scene.

ABERFALLOW: 'eya, Arizona.

ARIZONA: O, hey Aberfallow! Kay, this is Aberfallow; he's the owner of this restaurant.

KAY: Hey dude

ABERFALLOW: And who might this be?

KAY: I'm the last vestige of my civilization

ABERFALLOW: Nice, nice.

ARIZONA: We picked Kay up from the void a few days ago.

ABERFALLOW: A trip to the vacuum of space does a growing child good, I always say.

ARIZONA: You do say that a lot but this is the first time it has made any sense in the context of the conversation.

ARIZONA: Speaking of picking stuff up, we picked up this thing from orbit on the way in, is it yours?

ABERFALLOW: Hell if I know. They put new kitchen gadgets back there faster'n I can keep up with.

KAY: Do they put gadgets back there to make food that isn't gross?

ARIZONA: Kay that's a little rude,