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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Season 3, Episode 4 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-06-08 19:55:48
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Is Crazy

Files

Previews only

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Season 3, Episode 4

Comments

Ash W

Ooooooooh. One of my two all time favorite songs is the last proper song of this episode. This one is a TRIP and a hard watch, but this and the next and such important installments in the journey. Can't wait to rewatch with y'all after work. I'm sure we aren't very happy with this one 😅

DelGuy03

This is a central episode in the series, for sure. I would seriously recommend watching the two songs again (in effect, the opening and closing of "Rebecca's Revenge Movie") on your own, so you don't need to comment and can just absorb what they're saying. The first one, "Scary Scary Sexy Lady," is fun because of all the visual tropes and the fake credits. But "The End of the Movie" is actually a really important thesis statement for the whole series -- about how "life doesn't make narrative sense" and "life is a series of revelations that occur over a period of time." As to whether this is "rock bottom" -- I think it's better if you experience that aspect of the story without being pre-warned. Just trust that, as you've already seen, the show knows what it's doing. One thing that made that opening scene, when Rebecca lashes out at all her friends, so devastatingly effective is that it's something that's in anyone's power to do. No matter how much I know and love someone, there's always something true I could tell them that would absolutely tear them apart. But, of course, we would never do it.

quinintheclouds

It's been awhile since I've seen this show, so rewatching alongside y'all is giving me new perspectives and letting me consider new things, so thank you! I LOVE your discussions. I haven't been commenting much, but I always have so many thoughts on these videos and I just had coffee, so strap in, this one's a doozy! :P Y'know, Hector and Heather getting together in the same episode Rebecca attacked Heather's life direction (or lack thereof) is interesting... Both Heather and Hector are clinging to a certain life stage, it seems: Hector living with his mother and being best friends with her, hesitant to leave or move on, and Heather taking every single class at her community college before being kicked out because she's been there so long, and "I'm a student" being so central to her self-identity that the idea of leaving school is making her feel directionless? Dunno if they were going for that parallel, but it's interesting! I'm kinda in Heather's position in that I've been in college longer than "normal" and do have some fear of my life after school, feeling like I lack direction in an actionable way... so perhaps I'm projecting :P But hey, projecting onto media is sorta the point, no? XD [AHH I had a whole paragraph here about your convo regarding female friendships and then I hit back on the window and it's all GONE! 😭 Good thing I had the rest copied so I could paste it... I'll try again lol]: Basically, THANK YOU for always addressing the complexity & nuance of these topics, and for acknowledging that you're not experts who should be taken at face value. Usually when guys say "mansplaining" it's with airquotes, an eyeroll, or condescending sarcasm -- and I admit it's a silly-sounding term, but the premise is sound, so you using it sincerely in discussion is a nice change. Men typically aren't socialized to recognize their own personal biases and gaps of information, while being raised to view women as less knowledgeable, even about their own experiences. Consciously or not, men are made to internalize the need to be right and firm/unyielding, as though strength is about assertion and control, at the cost of open-mindedness. So it's SUPER refreshing when people like y'all are able to challenge that and make room for the possibility of being wrong, missing info, having your minds changed, and staying open to learning and listening. Kudos for that! I ESPECIALLY want to thank you for how you framed it as society screwing women/girls over, and not as women being "petty/catty/shallow/bitchy/incapable of normal friendships," which is often the narrative I hear, even from otherwise progressive guys with good intentions. It's so important to understand that it IS a societal thing and not women by nature. Women/girls/AFAB people are socialized to equate conventional attractiveness and appeal to men to our own self-worth, and thus view male approval as "success" and proof that we're "good enough." [Note: I am of course including trans women & girls, bc even if they don't yet know they're trans, trans girls will still internalize societal messaging about femininity growing up, and are often held to even higher standards of gender performativity/conformity] This can foster competitive perceptions of each other, as one woman's "success" in an area is framed as a "threat" to our own worth. E.g. "That girl's skin is so smooth, and I have acne... I am fundamentally worse than her and if I want to be valued as a person I need to have perfect skin like hers." or "That girl's hair is so dry, and mine is silky smooth. I am succeeding in being worthy of happiness, at least more than she is, thank goodness I'm not her." or "that girl has a boyfriend and I don't... what's wrong with me? What makes me worse than her?" or even "That girl wears ratty clothes and doesn't wear makeup or care what people think about her... what kind of statement is she making? Does she think she's better than us?" And let's not forget the oft-scoffed at "not like other girls." That's a projection of internalized misogyny, and I fell into that trap as a kid/teen because to me, being a "regular girl" meant being shallow and vain and interested in "girly" things, and "girly" things were embarrassing and worthy of mockery. Nowadays people call them "pick me girls" apparently, but yeah, it's a byproduct of being raised in a society that treats women and femininity as lesser, infantile, silly, and shameful (both for women and men to exhibit). So a lot of girls grow up seeing themselves as inherently shameful, and that they must "earn" value by conforming to what men think makes them worth loving. [Note: Rebecca does this a LOT, as you've pointed out a couple times! Like her saying she doesn't know who she is without Greg or Josh, and again in this episode saying she doesn't know who she is if Josh isn't in her life, and the way she JUMPED at the first sign of a man's approval (Greg's dad complimenting her figure) in desperation to regain some of that shattered sense of worth. Societal messaging teaches us that who we are and what we want is secondary to who & what men want us to be, and even Rebecca, a successful lawyer who went to Harvard, can fall prey to that internalized hate.] I'm nonbinary, but AFAB (assigned female at birth), so I was raised as a girl. In elementary, middle, and high school, some of my female friendships were DEFINITELY rocky at times, and often complicated. As an adult, however, all my current female friendships have been healthy, happy, and mutually supportive! This show does a great job showing the messier side of some female relationships, but I do hope going forward we see more rep of good, solid friendships. They're much more common than media (mostly written by men) can make it seem. Women aren't incapable of the types of bonds men can have, and vice versa! :) On the flipside, it's incredible how much some women can go through together and manage to stay friends (like Paula and Valencia here). Albeit sometimes unhealthily, i.e. shutting down being hurt/diminishing our own needs (another thing we're socialized to do), but a lot of the time it strengthens those bonds and helps us to deal with conflict resolution in a way a lot of men don't get the push to learn, at least until later in life, by which point that underdeveloped skill can become a big problem in relationships. A lotta guys forget or don't listen when we say the patriarchy/toxic masculinity is harmful to men, too, and that feminism seeks to get at the roots of the shame and guilt y'all go through. (Too many just go "WHAT, you think it's TOXIC to be MASCULINE?" and refuse to listen when we explain that no, masculinity isn't inherently toxic, hence the modifier "toxic"... it's about how the concept of what makes a man a man is harmful to how guys see themselves, act, treat women, and view anything deemed feminine. E.g. being emotionally stunted because it's "not manly to cry.") Oh! I forgot to answer this on the last video, but in it you asked about how to refer to situations like this regarding mental health terminology, and I wanted to add my thoughts. First, thank you for asking! Seriously, so many people don't even CONSIDER terms they grew up with may be harmful or misinformed, so thank you for being aware of that. "Crazy" is a word I've got mixed thoughts on tbh. You've already addressed how it can be dismissive (especially when casually thrown at women, which happens a lot) or insulting (when dehumanizing people with mental illness/disorders), but saying things like "gas prices are crazy high" doesn't feel offensive to me? But I can't speak for everyone! What I DO feel strongly about, however, is "psycho." People throw about the words "psycho" and "psychotic" as insults, equating the terms with cruelty, lack of empathy, violence, hatefulness, dangerousness, instability, deviance/degeneracy, should be separated from society, etc., etc. Many use it as if it's a short version of "psychopath" but psychopathy and psychosis are totally different things. People who experience psychosis may have a variety of disorders or causes, as psychosis is a symptom and not a diagnosis -- all it means is the person experiences delusions and/or hallucinations. Personally, before my Bipolar II was medicated, hypomanic episodes often triggered a tactile hallucination of bugs crawling all over and inside my skin. It was AWFUL, but not once did it turn me evil or make me want to hurt anyone. Thankfully that's gone, but I semi-recently was diagnosed with OCD and OH MY GOSH it explains SO MUCH, including my biggest omnipresent delusion: I am being watched 24/7, from all angles, all perspectives, and sometimes the "watchers" can even read my thoughts. (I thought I couldn't have OCD bc I'm disorganized and messy, but OCD is sooooo much more than that one subtype. Wild what misinformation & stereotyping can do, huh?) So yeah. OCD delusion I'm working through and making progress with. Not the only one, but the most debilitating for sure, and definitely made me grow up thinking I was "going crazy." Psycho, psychotic, delusional... those words hurt. Not just those of us who experience it, but by spreading harmful perceptions of us, it perpetuates stigmas that allow mistreatment of myriad conditions. Same goes for the r-slur being used in any situation (and with "schizo" for schizophrenic people, but I can't speak to that experience.) So to hear you guys (esp Kevin) catching yourselves/each other with phrasing and being totally sincere about pondering the effects of certain words and stigmas is a breath of fresh air. Seriously, thank you so much. It means a lot more than you know <3 Anyway, apologies for the whole-ass dissertation XD Again, LOVE your videos and your insightful commentary, and cannot WAIT for more! :D

Jamie D

I always forget exactly which episode Greg's dad happens.....though the oxygen tank cameo in the "Scary Sexy Lady" song is horrifying foreshadowing. It's when she swings through the bar doors that I go, "Oh noooo!!!" because I realize it's about to happen. Of course, "End of the Movie" is SUCH a great song. Definitely one to belt along with in the car.

bluediners

Yes, it's pretty horrible that Rebecca would sleep with Greg's dad and also a clear sign of how far she'll spiral, but I still kinda laugh in disbelief at Greg's dad sleeping with his son's "crazy ex-girlfriend."

quinintheclouds
>>110317940

AGREED! I love the thesis of "life doesn't make narrative sense/life is a series of revelations that occur over a period of time." This show and Bojack Horseman handle that topic so well. And every time I hear them ask if this is her rock bottom, I think of the Bojack quote, "I don’t believe in rock bottoms. I’ve had a lot of what I thought were rock bottoms, only to discover another, rockier bottom underneath." It ties in so well because yeah. Like Josh Groban said. Life isn't like a movie. There is no point where things become static and can never get any worse/better. Change is a constant. And yeah lmao Scary Scary Sexy Lady is so apt! It's also a great nod to how horror movies with female leads are nearly always about men, like being scorned, and the "scary" part is usually sexually threatening to men. (But she still has to be sexy!) Like that movie Teeth, or Jennifer's Body. The "She's here to cut your penis off" line gets me every time bc YEAH horror movies about women are all like muahahaha your penis is in daaaanger! XD

quinintheclouds
>>110324792

as soon as he called her smart and complimented her figure I was like "Rebecca DON'T DO IT--" smashcut to my facepalm XD

Taylor

I really like that no one has told you something like, “oh here is where she hits bottom.” For this show, the fall to the bottom is really where I think the most important parts of the story are. And it has been great watching you both react to it as each cringey slip downward happens. I think everyone felt the same things as they watched Rebecca spiral.

nj

i had the good fortune to see rachel bloom's live show last night. it was great and i love her so much. i don't know if you'd remember, but i was the one who asked if you'd consider watching this, and you did, and i'm so glad. i don't think it gets enough attention or recognition for how good it is and how well it tackles complex and important topics. thank you for grasping immediately how smart it is - i've really appreciated your thoughtful approach and commentary. i look forward to the rest of the ride. 🙂

Youtalkingtome
>>110312046

Well, grab a drink and a snack and get comfy because we love having you here! We're happy with this show just not how our girl has been behaving!

Youtalkingtome
>>110324379

Hey thank you for this, really. We appreciate that you care, not only for the show but what the show represents and who it is trying to reach. It is absolutely our pleasure to dissect this show and experience it for the first time with all the wonderful people on this page, including yourself. So from the bottom of our hearts, Thank You!

Youtalkingtome
>>110324593

I didn't even notice the oxygen tank in the credits!! End of the Movies is fantastic but it's no I Go To The Zoo. I get they are two different songs with two different meanings though lol.

Youtalkingtome
>>110338514

Thank you for the recommendation! We love this show as everyone can tell and it's very easy to react and comment on. So much complexity here.

Kimba

I’m going through a rewatch and I remember the first time I saw the intervention scene it just made me so sad for Rebecca. It made me tear up a bit. I had been previously thinking about all the bad things she had done but then this scene just put it in a different perspective for me. She was alienating everyone that cared about her and everyone that tried to help her. But instead of making me more mad at her I just felt a flood of emotions for her. Maybe she was pushing them away on purpose, like she felt she deserved to be friendless and alone. She was clearly troubled in a way that this was out of her control. And it made me sad for her friends too. I think they were really starting to understand her situation better after this though. And they stood by her through hard times, which was nice to see.

Youtalkingtome
>>144938309

This show nailed not only music and comedy but drama so well. Very touching episode. Maybe the best season of the show?