We started collecting analytics from the latest version to better understand where to take the game and what players actually want. So, we’ve been quietly collecting stats since the release of 0.3.5, and some of the numbers are too funny not to share. Big AAA games do this, and we thought, why the fuсk can’t we do it too. So here’s our analytics:

Over this period, you spent 82,630,260 seconds in the game.That’s 22,953 hours, or about 956 full days of total playtime.

In that time, you launched 179,992 sessions.The average session length was 7 minutes 39 seconds.Here are our absolute favorite heroes we love the most:

17,095 sessions lasted more than 10 minutes

2,644 sessions lasted more than 30 minutes

1,228 sessions lasted more than an hour

Now for the important science.

You slapped the girl 881,005 times.

And interestingly, when that happened, she was most often wearing some variation of:

Bikini black

Elf

Brazilian

Furry black body

and very often with the Chest prop involved

So apparently a huge chunk of our community looked at all available possibilities and decided: “Yes. This is the correct outfit for аss-slapping.”

The countries that slapped the most were:

US

Brazil

Russia

Thailand

Mexico

So this is, apparently, a very international form of cultural exchange.

On the music side, the biggest winner was SCP. That track got selected 29,090 times by 17,628 players. So yeah, it looks like you really liked that SCP-682 containment instruction we made for you. Funny detail: this track was originally written for my separate nsfw rhythm game concept, SCP-6969. Since you liked it this much, there will definitely be more announcements about this game later.

One thing that surprised us a bit: the most popular background was Bedroom. So apparently, deep down, a lot of you simply want to fuсk in private like normal people.We did not expect this level of decency from you.

Even more specific: the single strongest preset/background combination was:

Mal0 + Bedroom = 4,817 sessions

That’s about 41.6% more than the next strongest Mal0 pairing.So if anyone asks what the playerbase wants, one possible answer is:“Mal0. Bedroom. No further questions.”

Another fun one: you chose vаginаl more often than аnаl. If we compare the main push actions:

Vаginаl actions: 577,960

Аnаl actions: 526,755

That’s a difference of 51,205 actions, or roughly 9.7% more in favor of vаginаl.

So despite everything, fellow gooners are apparently still somewhat modest.

Now let’s talk about the truly important stat:

X sizes

Across the release period, 116,601 players used either АssX or BreаstsX.That’s about 82.8% of all players. So at this point we can safely say X sizes are not some weird niche preference. They are basically must have choice.

Platform-wise, most of you are playing the web version:

83,321 players on Web

41,205 on Android

16,222 on Windows

That means about 59.2% of the audience came through the browser. But despite web being the biggest entry point, Android players are much more active.

Android: 1.54 sessions per player

WebGL: 1.15

Windows: 1.30

So if web players are the curious tourists, Android players are the ones actually moving in and unpacking their bags.

We also looked at different countries to see what people gravitated toward. Here’s the rough “national taste” map:

USA are top Bedroom + Mal0 enjoyers. Also over-indexed on Prop/Chest, Prop/BrazilianLaundry, and rougher аss-focused actions like АssF and АssX.

Brazil most favorite is: Treasure room + Brazilian Miku. Predictably loved Brazilian Miku, but also leaned harder than average into Bathroom, Brazilian accessories, and аnаl.

Russia over-indexed on Beach, Laundry, and Warehouse ambience, while also favoring BreаstsA, BreаstsB, and BreаstsAA more than average (small breаsts lovers or fembоy fantasies huh).

Germany didn’t just follow the default meta either: German players disproportionately liked ripped stockings and office-style stockings.

Thailand turned out to be one of the hоrniest and weirdest mixes: strong love for Treasure room, Bathroom, Night Forest, vаginal dildos, and the highest Patreon click rate among major countries. Love ya, click more on patreon button, it helps the project.

Mexico leaned harder into Beach, Night Forest, Warehouse, Brazilian jewelry, and nipplе piercings.

Indonesia strongly over-indexed on vаginаl and manual mode usage.

Philippines showed an unusual preference for Striр Club music and a very strong bias toward both Vаginаl actions.

Canada and the UK: lots of Bedroom, Striр Club, ripped clothes and bunny suit stockings.

One last thing: people are still playing the old version! During the lifetime of 0.3.5.1, we still saw 69 players on 0.3.5. And in the last 7 days of checking, there were still 5 people there. That almost certainly means some people are downloading the game from mirror sites, random file dumps, and pirate garbage instead of the official itch page.

We sincerely feel bad for them, because there’s a decent chance those builds come bundled with some kind of digital hеrpеs.

Anyway, thank you for playing, testing, breaking things, and making the analytics way funnier than expected!

We’ve already made a lot of conclusions on how to improve your gameplay experience in the new update. Speaking of the new update, we’ve almost finished new features and content for version 0.4 with a new scene, so expect early access within a week.