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I win. (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-28 05:44:38
Imported:
2026-03
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Owl

I knock oh so politly

Link Carruth

So, I do in fact have a trebuchet, I won't fire it cause thats a lot of work, but can I just have that and you'll let me through out of fear?

Vizz

Let me in!!!!

sinclairrr

So I haveth a laser pointer.

Invarus

Can I have the alligator and/or crocodile?

Limi

A moat? All for me? Complete with a complimentary predatory reptile? That's incredibly generous of you, given the current state of the economy (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

shencomix

no i need him to guard my moat which guards my wall

Jon Barker

Wow, Shen, there's so much yuri down here in the comments. Why don't you raise that portcullis, lower the drawbridge, and come and see? Quick, before the alligator gets it all?

Javier

Ha! Got you on this side! GET HIM!!!

Racheal

Throw yourself over via the trebuchet

Racheal

*opens tin of freshly baked cookies just outside the portcullis and wafts the smell through*

Link Carruth

(Pulls the stranger aside) I dont actually have a trebuchet, I was just hoping I would be let through with the threat of one. Do you not know how hard it is to get a trebuchet?

Racheal

I do 😭 which is why I thought you had a fool proof plan!

Pontiac Vixen

The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your soul! Give me the gate key

Link Carruth

It's okay, Shen doesn't know since I pulled you aside, he cant hear us over here. He 100% thinks I have a trebuchet at the ready, so I give it like a 30% chance he just let's us in but leaves all those who are trebuchetless out with the alligator

LowClassWarrior

*Silently warms up to pole vault outside the wall*

Billy

Hey, I'm here with a pizza? And positive comments?

Jacob Freedman

You’re not trapped in there with you. I’m trapped out here with me :’(

robo

you fool! i’ve already befriended the gator and shown it crocodilian yuri!

shencomix

i'm not falling for yuri unless it's giant and wooden

Jon Barker

Well clearly that would be yaoi

Ladytore

But… how will I leave unhinged comments now. I need a comment catapult