David Marshall's Euro Diary Day 7 - Dane-ger Zone! (Patreon)

I’ll tell you what folks, whatever is eating away at me is bloody horrible. Every time I feel like I’m getting better my entire body shuts down on itself. I’m genuinely beginning to worry that I am chronicling my last days here, which was not the original intent. But since I’m still here, let’s talk about the football.

Day 7 started with Serbia and Slovenia with both teams looking for their first win. Slovenia started the game better and were the better team throughout in all honesty missing a host of chances in the first half.

Serbia weren’t without their chances either with Aleksandar Mitrović being denied twice by Jan Oblak either side of the break. But the breakthrough would come for Slovenia with just over 20 minutes remaining.

A beautiful low cross to the back post from Timi Elšnik was put away by Žan Karničnik who looked to secure the three points and Slovenia’s second-ever win at a major tournament. But there was to be one more twist in the tale as a 95th-minute header from Luka Jovic found the far corner to rescue a point for Serbia. I’m not quite sure what Oblak was doing here as he was already behind his line before the header came close to him. It was like watching a goalie glitch out in FIFA.

Despite how impressive and fun to watch they’ve been I think that might be curtains now for Slovenia. If England gets their act together, and to be fair that’s a big if at this point, they would finish on two points. This might be one of the two groups where the third-place team misses out.

On to the next game from group C as England took on Denmark, my god this was dull. Like, really dull. England are certainly not the worst team in this competition but I think they have been far and away my least favourite to watch so far.

This game went pretty much the same way as the Serbia game, England got an early goal through Harry Kane and then did nothing of any real note after that. The difference being here that Denmark got an equaliser through a fantastic long-range strike from Morten Hjulmand.

After that, England huffed and puffed and Denmark were fairly comfortable keeping them at bay. It was the visible frustration that you could see in the England side that was really telling and absolutely nothing was working.

A major rethink is required, the worry for England that the sum of the parts is actually greater than the whole seems to be coming to fruition.

The final game of the day and what a main event we had on paper, Spain vs Italy, Ally and Clive on commentary, serve it to me on a plate and cover both of us in butter.

In reality, this was an absolute mauling. The biggest 1-0 gubbing you are ever likely to watch. Spain absolutely dominated the first half and were only kept out thanks to a combination of poor finishing and some excellent goalkeeping by Gianluigi Donnarumma.

The breakthrough came early in the second half when Riccardo Calafiori helplessly turned the ball into his own net. Then I fell asleep. Now, I know it’s not too professional to fall asleep when I’ve got an article to write. But I won’t apologise, I’m sorry but that’s just the way I am.

I woke up shortly after full-time with a splitting headache, which is why you are getting this today and not last night, to see that no other goals had been scored. Looking at the highlights it seems that there was little response from Italy and Spain should have added to their lead. A really impressive performance from the Spaniards and I don’t think Italy could have had too many complaints if this ended 4 or 5-0, on the first half alone.

Well there you go, Day 7 a little later than billed. All going well I’ll still be alive and awake and I’ll talk to you about Day 8 later this evening.