Eric Linnaeus | Book 3 | Chapter 15 - Psychosomatic (Patreon)

Eric Linnaeus | Book 3 | Chapter 15 - ℙ𝕤𝕪𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔 ᴀᴄʜᴀɪᴄᴜs ᴋʟᴇɪɴ: ғᴇʙʀᴜᴀʀʏ - ᴀᴘʀɪʟ, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶. ─── .✦········

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ℙ𝕤𝕪𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔ᴀᴄʜᴀɪᴄᴜs ᴋʟᴇɪɴ: ғᴇʙʀᴜᴀʀʏ - ᴀᴘʀɪʟ, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶.

─── .✦········· ───

Returning to Dunkel with my brother had been a bittersweet endeavor. Many at the castle were wary of me, some had family who had died in the war, and it was largely my fault. Time would do little to change that. Regardless, it was worth the public scrutiny to be with Nathaniel again.

“They hate me,” I grumbled, and he rolled his eyes.

“No, they hate our father, and they are unsure of you.”

“It feels like they hate me then.”

“I don’t care. Take your feelings and get out of my office; I have work to do,” he sighed, rubbing his temples. I got the impression he was growing rather tired of me… After all, I had spent close to every waking moment with him since he was injured.

“Do you want me to get you anything? I can bring you food.”

“The kitchens are closed.”

“I’ll make something.”

“You have no idea how to cook.”

“I can learn.”

“Achaicus, please… just… stop trying to do things for me. I’m not upset with you.”

“It would be understandable if you were…”

“But I’m not, I’m happy to have you with me.”

“You seem unhappy.”

“I’m busy, that’s all.”

“I can help-”

“You’ve already rearranged all the files; that is plenty enough. Why don’t you go train? or tour the castle?”

“I want to stay with you,” I insisted, and my brother looked anguished. I realized then that I was smothering him; he just couldn’t bring himself to ask me to leave. “Right… You’re right, I should go, talk to Markos about something.”

“That would be a good idea. I’ll be here when you get back,” he assured, and I reluctantly left him in peace.

The castle had changed greatly since I was last here. The gardens had grown, and it seemed Nathaniel had added some new ones. That didn’t surprise me; he always preferred outdoor spaces. In the town, I noticed the older buildings had been repaired, and the streets were cleaner than I remembered. With less time wasted hunting, I suppose there was more time for restoration work.

Everywhere I went, people were content, and it seemed my brother was a far better ruler than he claimed. I supposed his controlling nature finally outcompeted his lazy disposition. That, or he was just signing every grant to avoid actually having to read them—I wasn’t sure which.

“Achaicus. What are you doing out here?” The female voice startled me, and I turned to see Claire. She was with her brother, who looked rather nervous.

“Nathaniel grew tired of my presence; only he was too polite to say, so I excused myself,” I explained with a small sigh.

“Aww, I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded if you stayed!” she assured sympathetically, rubbing my arm. Her touch was motherly and comforting.

“You didn’t see the look on his face,” I grumbled.

“Well, if you want, you can come with us!”

“Where are you going?”

“Mm~, Charlie hasn’t been here before so I’m showing him around.”

“Oh… I should probably-”

“Nonsense!” she grabbed a hold of my hand, and I tensed. What was I supposed to do in this situation?

“Claire I don’t think he wants-” Charles tried.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t actually giving him any more choice than I gave you.”

I walked with them a while before beginning to relax. The girl was endlessly cheerful, and Charles wasn’t unfriendly. Although he seemed more nervous than I to be in the streets. What was perhaps most surprising was how readily others greeted Claire. Ordinarily, most Fae would never speak to a human, but many made an exception for her. It was curious.

As she stepped away to speak with a fae woman whose name I didn’t know, I took the opportunity to speak with Charles. “Many seem to like your sister?” I enquired.

“Oh yeah, she didn’t give any of them the choice,” he laughed.

“She has bewitched them?”

“Oh no, no, she visits everyone every day. She used to complain how no one would talk to her, and she felt lonely, so she just started talking to everyone.”

“And Markos allows this?”

“Ahhh, yeah I mean I guess? I don’t think he would be able to stop her.”

Was this man daft? Of course Markos could stop her if he chose; one command was all it would take. Still, as I walked with them I came to understand. Markos did not command this girl; he likely didn’t even want to; and I was beginning to like Charles.

I spent some evenings with the man. We sat together on the couches in my room while Molly bought us drinks. He introduced me to human wines, and although I found them repugnant at first, the taste grew on me.

“So you and Nathaniel are twins?” he asked as he opened another bottle, sitting back casually before realization dawned and he looked embarrassed, “I mean, obviously you are. But I haven’t seen any others?”

“We are the only ones,” I agreed, “Fae don’t have many children, and there’s no point in having a second child if you get an heir on the first go.”

“Riigghht. I’m so thankful for my sister.”

“I have a sister as well.”

“Is she here? I haven’t met her yet.”

“She resides at Leúchtend. She’s Radomir’s mother.”

Charles choked on his drink, and I apologized. I had known he was not especially fond of my nephew; I can’t say I was either.

“Your whole family is just unreasonably terrifying aren’t they?”

That gave me pause, “My brother is not.”

“He threatened me when I got up to pee at night in the hospital.”

“If you endanger his pet, certainly he would do something like that,” I agreed. “But otherwise, he is very whimsical. He was even too shy to talk to anyone as a child.”

“I would never have guessed.”

“Most wouldn’t.”

“Hey, so, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” we had both had a little too much by then. Molly kept our glasses full, and I was in a good mood.

“You got any kids?”

That caught me by surprise, and I laughed, “No, I will never have children.”

“Why?”

“Because of my father…” I fell deeper into thought about it. Swirling the wine in my glass. “What if I’m just like him? He beat us for sport, among other things. So who knows what’s in me.”

“Fairies care about that sort of stuff?”

“We’re not monsters, or maybe we are to you. But not like that. Nathaniel and I were just ‘lucky’, I guess…” I trailed off before asking, “Your parents were human?”

“No, they’re actually secretly robots.”

“Robots?” I asked, confused, and he waved a hand.

“Ahhh, never mind. What I mean to say is yeah. I have parents. I just don’t talk to them.”

“They harmed you?”

“Nahh. They ahh, well. Claire and I weren’t what they ordered you know?”

“You order your children?”

Charles laughed, “No, what I mean is, we disappoint them. They never hit us or anything; well, our mother slapped Claire once, but they definitely didn’t lock us in any dungeons. You know what a lawyer is?”

“Of course, many Fae are such. How do you think we interact so seamlessly with the human world?”

“Okay well, our parents were lawyers and they wanted me to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or an investment banker. You know, big money, snazzy suits… When it became apparent that I wasn’t smart enough for any of that, they wanted me to be a quarterback, and they were not happy when I wasn’t athletic enough for that either. Same with Claire, except they wanted her to be a ballet dancer or a gymnast. Well, she was too tall for any of that, and not bendy enough. Same story, they didn’t think she was smart enough to be anything else either.”

“What did you want to do?”

“Claire wanted to be a singer or a circus trainer,” he laughed until his eyes watered, “And I wanted to draw, then I found out that I could get paid to go hiking so that worked out… Well, for a while anyway. Until all this.”

We sat in heavy silence as I contemplated that. Truthfully, I never considered that these humans had lives before us; I had no idea Charles was employed or that he had any sort of other life. As far as I was concerned they had spawned at Dunkel, and I wondered if these humans were happy among us? Or if they realized they couldn’t return to a normal human life now?

“What about you? What did you want to be? Do fairies have aspirations?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as I told him; “I wanted to be my brother.”

Eventually, Charles stumbled off to his room, and I passed out on the couch. Molly had refilled our drinks far too many times that evening; she was such a good girl. I didn’t even need to ask.

─── .✦········· ───

In the months to come, I would spend significant amounts of time with the humans. I found their lives to be mildly interesting, and if I am allowed the opportunity someday, I should like to live among them and see how their world works. I was beginning to better understand why my brother was so lenient in his treatment of his Pet and the others—humans are rather delightful when they’re happy.

Nathaniel’s new way of life was stable, secure… although I was somewhat off put by the Ghouls. Perhaps, when I can bear to be separated again and return to Leúchtend, I will implement similar policies to those of Dunkel. We would benefit from the stability.

Nonetheless, the most perplexing thing about the dark castle was my brother’s Pet. The man was oddly mindful of me, in fact, he was almost nice… I suppose that’s unfair to say. Eric had never been especially unkind to me, but since the battle at Leúchtend, he helped me more than I ever expected.

He watched over Nathaniel for me while he was recovering and continued to check in with me regularly, although I couldn’t imagine why.

“Are you feeling alright?” Eric asked calmly as we sparred. My brother was at his appointment with Markos, so it was only Eric and I who remained in the training field.

“Of course I am. What would make you ask that?” I muttered, was he mocking me?

“You’re slower than normal,” he commented with a shrug.

“Excuse you-” I began in protest, but in one swift movement, Eric had me pinned to the ground with the tip of his blade hovering above my throat. The force knocked the breath from me, and I coughed as I curled away from him.

“I’m not trying to insult you. But that was too easy.”

“I’m out of practice, that’s all,” I huffed.

Fae don’t fight with swords as our primary weapon. Our magic is always the preferred method of attack and defense. Because of this, humans can be, strictly speaking, more skilled than us in that regard as they train for hours each day. There is a reason we use them as personal guard dogs.

The castle guards are generalized mercenaries. Commonly low-born with no particular skill in magic or otherwise and no other prospects, they choose to serve as patrols. No Fae are permitted to be without vocation or purpose, and joining the guard is an easy solution. Those among the guards will serve many purposes.

They are expected to uphold the peace within the castle streets, protect those of higher ranking, enforce laws, and fight as soldiers should it become necessary. Some may even be sent to assist as laborers for various projects if more hands are required. So it is foolish to believe they are there to protect us completely.

Pursuing a military career can lead to gaining nobility status, but many simply won’t have the will for it. Likewise, being noble-born and delegated to the guard is undesirable. It is a sign that you have no value among your peers; it’s rather a mark of disgrace. I should know, after all, that was where my father intended to send ‘Nathaniel’ once. Not that it matters anymore.

That is in part why the humans are trained so vigorously to defend their masters. In case of internal conflicts among the nobility, having a blindly loyal, steadfast, and deadly assassin at your side is beneficial. Doubly so when they are more than capable of defeating other Fae so fast that they don’t have the time to use their magic.

It’s reluctantly that I’ll admit Eric and Calla are the best trained we’ve ever seen. Even my Molly would struggle facing either one of them, and I’m not entirely certain that she could win. So, while it was irritating that the Orphan could best me in a magicless fight, it wasn’t unexpected.

“Get up, fight me again,” Eric demanded.

“I’ve had enough for today.”

“No, I want you to face me properly. Use your energy.”

“If I harm you my brother will be displeased.”

Eric smiled at the corners of his eyes only. “If,” he repeated the word with the savagery of a heathen.

“Fine then,” I glared back; I would deal with my brother’s complaints later.

Regrettably, the second match was also short-lived, and within moments, I was on the ground again. Eric had caught me by surprise when he cut through my energy with his contracted arm, and I was unable to recover in time to block his next attack.

“Using my own brother’s magic against me,” I spat, irritated.

“I didn’t trade my entire life for nothing.”

The energy danced up the length of his arm and dissipated into the air at his shoulder. He didn’t hide it when he was among us, although when it wasn’t directly in use, the energy only reached his elbow, so it was at least less noticeable then.

“I thought you made the contract for your eye.”

“That’s my second favorite part,” he admitted shamelessly brushing the hair from his face to look down at me. The eye was nothing less than a ball of concentrated energy. I almost wondered how much effort it took for my brother to make this contract with him—probably more than he would ever admit.

“He gave you far too much power.”

“Perhaps. At least I can’t say it wasn’t a fair trade,” he agreed with a shrug, allowing his hair to fall back into place as he offered to help me up. “But that’s not important right now. My point remains: you’re weaker than you should be.”

“I’m just tired. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I left him, and he chose not to follow.

─── .✦········· ───

I hated to admit it, but he was right. I hadn’t noticed in particular before he pointed it out, but over the months my energy was gradually becoming slower, weaker. So when the day came that I could not even produce a ball of energy in the palm of my hand, I knew something was wrong. As such I made it a priority to see Markos. I couldn’t be weakened in any way while my brother was still recovering.

Each time Nathaniel coughed, I winced. It was all my fault that he was hurt, and every second he was like that, he was vulnerable. I was glad that Eric so rarely left him. But when he went away on his ‘monster’ hunting trips with Charles, I felt as though my brother was in danger. In my opinion, Nathaniel shouldn’t have allowed him to leave the castle at all.

When I arrived at Markos’s office I didn’t bother to knock, and when I entered, I found Claire on her knees between his thighs. His pants were down, and he held her hair out of the way as she serviced him. I blinked slowly as I processed what I was witnessing before turning back around and closing the door. There wasn’t enough bleach in the world to unsee that.

I waited some ways down the hall for them to finish up, and eventually, Claire slipped out of his office. “Sooo… I guess I forgot to lock the door before… But you can go in now.”

“Great, thanks.”

She looked apologetic, but distinctly unashamed, “Go easy on him.”

I snorted. As if I had any intention whatsoever of bringing it up again. I only prayed they had cleaned up well enough that I wouldn’t accidentally notice anything.

Thankfully it seemed they had, and I knocked before entering this time. I found Markos waiting tensed at his desk. His ears were rosy with heat, but his expression was calm. I cleared my throat to announce my presence, and he paused in his writing. This was perhaps the first time I had seen him uncomfortable, and the second-hand embarrassment I felt for him did me no favors. An awkward moment of delay passed between us as we each silently vowed not to discuss the moments prior.

“Achaicus. What brings you here?” he asked politely.

“I need a check-up. My energy has diminished as of late,” I responded in a matter-of-fact manner.

“What makes you say that?”

“I can’t wield any external magic…”

He hesitated, then finally looked over to me, “Come again?”

“I can’t even make a ball of energy in the palm of my hand.”

“Show me.”

As instructed, I held out my hand and concentrated. Ordinarily, it wouldn’t take any effort, but in this instance, I could hardly even produce sparks, like a shorted electrical circuit. Markos frowned but said nothing. His eyes lit up with energy as he examined me further and he seemed deep in thought.

“Well?” I demanded of him when he didn’t say anything more.

“I can’t see any reason this should be,” he said slowly.

“Then why is my energy weak?”

“It’s peculiar; your body is producing less magic than it should. But there doesn’t seem to be any cause, so I suspect, as it always has been with you, that it’s psychosomatic.”

“I do not feel anxious, or inferior right now,” I refuted his claim bitterly. Maybe seeing him was a mistake.

“No, but your brother is damaged, and it is your fault. So I believe you’re taking on his symptoms out of guilt.”

He spoke with an uncaring shrug, and I felt immeasurably unwell. Did he have to be so blatant? I never wanted to see my brother hurt, but how could I refuse my father’s instruction to write to him when it meant Molly was being tortured?

“See, even now your energy is tangled with guilt. I’m confident that is the cause.”

“Then how do I fix it?” I grumbled.

“Has your brother not forgiven you?”

“He has…”

“Then perhaps you need to forgive yourself. I believe your levels will return to normal as your brother recovers.”

State of mind greatly affects the flow of energy through one’s body. Rage or fear often produces an excess that’s difficult to manage, while feeling low or anxious may suppress it. The best state to be in is calm. It requires concentration to wield energy effectively. That’s why Nathaniel was always so good at it. For as emotional and dramatic as he could be, he always had an unwavering focus.

Regardless, I thought that was unlikely to be the cause of my incompetence. Of course, I felt guilty and ashamed to have played such a large role in Nathaniel’s condition, but I continued to deteriorate even as he recovered.

“Did you speak with Markos?” Eric startled me as he appeared from seemingly nowhere to walk beside me in the hall.

“Must you always sneak up on me?”

“It’s not my fault you’re unobservant.”

“You move like a street cat,” I muttered, irritated, before answering his question. “I have seen Markos.”

“And?”

“He said I’m fine.”

“I expected that. Where is Molly?”

“Molly has taken a liking to sewing with the Fae women of recent.”

“Sewing? Since when has she cared for textiles?”

“How should I know? Still, I see no reason I should stop her.”

He was quiet as if he was considering something, “Does Claire work in the same area?”

“Obviously.”

“That figures,” he sighed, exasperated.

“What?”

“Never mind, I brought you something.”

I looked him over carefully; he didn’t seem to have anything on him. “What is it?”

“Something to help you.”

“I don’t need help.”

“Oh? Your magic is fully functioning again then I take it?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Don’t make me regret helping you before I’ve even done it.”

I let out a slow, annoyed breath, “Fine. What did you bring me?”

“Something unpleasant. Do you trust me?”

“What kind of a question is that?” I snorted. In truth I did, and I did not at the same time. I suppose I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt my brother, not that he wouldn’t hurt me. Except that harming me would be a betrayal to Nathaniel and therefore he was unlikely to do so.

In response to my question, he pulled a small, wrapped candy from his pocket. The packaging crinkled as he unwrapped it and the sweet within was golden brown.

“You brought me toffee?”

“Sure. Now open your mouth,” Eric pressed it to my lips gently, and I hesitated. Part of me wanted to argue. It was unusual that he should give me anything, let alone anything he wanted to feed me. “Trust me,” he insisted.

His blue eye seemed almost to glow, and I found myself lost in it. I wanted to do as he asked, to please him. I recognized the feeling of course, but not in time to resist it as he pushed the candy into my mouth. Initially, it was sweet. But when I bit it, bitter liquid flooded my mouth, and I gagged as I tried to spit it out.

Eric slammed me back against the wall and held his hand over my mouth, “Don’t spit it out,” he warned calmly.

I had become too weak to even push him away. I couldn’t breathe, and I realized then what was happening. He was going to force me to swallow this foul candy, and I had little choice in it. A small amount of black liquid leaked from my mouth and through his fingers, but I ingested most of it.

“What the hell did you give me!?” I hissed; I thought I might vomit as he stepped back.

“It will help. I suggest you go rest in your room. The night won’t be pleasant.”

He left without elaborating, and I’m afraid to report an ‘unpleasant night’ was an understatement. I spent it in a cold sweat in the bathroom, vomiting endless amounts of the black fluid. He had poisoned me I was sure; I just couldn’t understand why.

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