Eric Linnaeus | Book 3 | Chapter 21 - Endless Half-Truths and Lies (Patreon)

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𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕗-𝕋𝕣𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕃𝕚𝕖𝕤ɴᴀᴛʜᴀɴɪᴇʟ ᴋʟᴇɪɴ: ᴍᴀʏ, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶.

─── .✦········· ───

Charles left my office relatively calm, and I pretended to sign some paperwork as I watched him go with my eyes only. It had not been a pleasant conversation, although I suppose it was a necessary one. However, it was not moments later that Eric pushed the door open with some force.

“What did you say to Charles?” he demanded.

“I said very little to him,” I replied calmly.

“I’ve told you before not to interrogate my friends.”

“I wasn’t interrogating him.”

In the time that had passed, Eric’s condition continued to decline, and his nature was becoming increasingly unstable. One night he almost stabbed me with a butter knife. We had already spoken beforehand, or at least I had tried to have a discussion… admittedly I had allowed him to distract me from my original goal and we spent the time otherwise engaged.

I knew by then that he would not speak with me about it and so approached Charles the moment I saw the opportunity. The man looked nervous when I asked what happened on their hunting trip and he fell silent for a long time. His expression was something between guilt and uncertainty. But Eric interrupted before I could speak with him further. That was one of many times he had done so. What was he doing? Tracking my conversations? I thought, bemused.

“It sure looked like you were interrogating him,” he spoke without emotion.

“As I said, we were just talking. But if you’re so concerned he’ll tell me something you don’t want me to hear, the best way to avoid that would be to tell me whatever it is yourself. If you stopped avoiding the question when I ask what is wrong, perhaps you wouldn’t be so insufferable.”

“What makes you think there’s something wrong?”

“Eric,” I tried more softly, but he only backed away from me.

“You don’t know anything.”

“You aren’t sleeping well, you disappear for hours, and I’ve seen that Calla isn’t speaking to you. What happened on your last job?”

“You think I’m the one with the problem? You’re the one missing dinner and working late every night. You’re taking on too many tasks where you could delegate them to your brother. And I know you’re keeping things from me.”

“There’s much to get in order, and I’m handling it. Achaicus hasn’t managed the affairs here for decades and he is largely unknown to our alliances. I cannot expect him, or them, to simply accept that they won’t be negotiating issues directly with me. And the only matters I keep from you are castle affairs that you need not worry about. Now, stop avoiding the question.”

“Why should I answer your question when you ignore me?”

His ability to twist words was impressive, “I don’t ignore you.”

“I’ve told you to be wary of Molly and you’re not.”

“Stop being a brat. That’s entirely irrelevant.”

“Fine, I’m going then.”

“Eric,” I sighed exasperated. “Don’t run away, just talk to me.”

“Is that an order?”

“…No.”

“Good.”

He was endlessly frustrating. I could see him breaking and I wondered how long it would be until he shattered completely. Moreover, I knew Markos was right; Eric was hiding something from me and the more he was determined to bury it, the more I was certain it was something I should be concerned about. What was I to do with him?

─── .✦········· ───

It was not many days later that all hell broke loose. I had made the time to spend with my brother, and we took a long walk just as we did as children. It allowed us the opportunity to talk at length, and I enjoyed that. I had missed him greatly when we were separated, and with our mother visiting we had much to talk about.

We walked a great distance and back again, only to return to pure chaos. The courtyard garden is one of the more open spaces and is connected to the castle. So when we arrived to see a small crowd gathered and heard shouting, we quickened our pace to see what was happening.

At the center of it all was Eric and Claire. Astoundingly the girl had pinned him to the ground. She must have taken a run at him, and he must have chosen not to react for that to be even remotely possible. The girl was screaming and hitting him while he was defending against her attacks.

“You fucking bastard!” Claire screamed, tears streamed down her face and the energy she put into fighting him was impressive.

“Get off of me,” Eric muttered, remorseless.

Calla stood calmly nearby to them, making no attempt to defuse the situation, while other fae stood too shocked to move. Achaicus and I intervened immediately. He took a hold of Claire to haul her off Eric while I stood between them.

“Let go of me! He doesn’t deserve to be saved!” she struggled like a wild animal in his arms and fear glinted in his eyes as he tried to restrain her. He had no idea how to handle the human without harming her. She headbutted him with the back of her head and as blood poured down his face she very nearly escaped his grip.

“𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑝,” I commanded her with more force than necessary, and she winced. She was lucky I didn’t do worse. I hated to see my brother bleed, for any reason.

“You don’t understand, your boyfriend is a lying sack of shi-”

“None of this would be an issue if you had done as I said,” Eric hissed, picking himself up off the ground, some of his clothes were torn and his lip was split. It seemed she had gotten at least one solid hit in.

“You lied! Every fucking word you said was a lie!”

“Of course it was! You’re too stupid to listen to reason, or do the right thing if there’s any other sort of fantasy ideal for you to delude yourself with.”

“Yeah well, you were fucking wrong weren’t you!?”

“It’s still too early to say, there’s plenty of time for him to change his mind.”

A new level of rage settled over the girl then, she was practically vibrating. The command had worn off, but she had stopped fighting my brother regardless. The look in her eyes was dangerous, and her breathing was controlled as she spoke with pure malice, “Calla.”

“Yes,” Markos’s Pet responded calmly.

“Hurt him, I want you to hurt him,” she breathed venomously, then added more uncertain, “You can do that right? That’s something I can command?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re fine with it?”

“Yes.”

“Good! Make him bleed!”

“As you wish.”

She moved as if Markos himself had given the command and Eric looked annoyed. “Calla,” he groaned, moving to defend himself as she brought down her sword on him.

What the hell was going on here?! For a moment I was too stunned to react. There was nothing half-hearted about her intentions and the fight was vicious. I thought she might actually try to kill him.

“𝐸𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ!” I commanded, and they both stopped instantaneously. Eric was going to hate me for that, I was sure. “𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑎, 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛. 𝐶𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑥. And Eric, don’t you make one move.”

I directed my commands as carefully as I could, and the crowd began to disburse. But given the chance to do so, Eric ignored me. He wiped the blood off his chin before taking his sword off the ground and turning to leave without permission.

“Brother, deal with the girls.”

“What am I supposed to do with them?!”

“Take them to Markos,” I instructed vaguely as I went after Eric. He could very well disappear if I didn’t catch up with him quickly and I placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him, “Eric-”

“Don’t talk to me,” he snapped, smacking my hand away with the back of his arm.

“That’s not an option anymore.”

“You used a command on me.”

“Not on you specifically, it was a blanket command. You just happened to be under it,” I explained what he knew full well.

“As if that makes any difference,” he scowled, moving to go and I automatically caught his arm to stop him.

“This conversation isn’t over-” he lashed out in the same second that I spoke, and the escalation from there was too quick for me to comprehend.

In seconds I had him slammed back against the wall. “Going to hurt me, Nathaniel?” he sneered. My hand rested at the base of his throat, and he held my arm tightly as he tried to stop me from applying any pressure.

“Not yet,” I answered through my teeth. I wanted to hurt him, that was for certain. How is it that this one person could make me so angry?

“Let go of me.”

“No, this behavior is unacceptable, and you need to calm down.”

“Is that an order? O’lord Nathaniel?”

His insolence was unwarranted, and I could taste the bitterness of magic in the back of my throat as I tried to remain calm. “This is my castle, and I am still the leader of it. I have a duty to keep the peace within these walls and you cannot behave in this manner on premises. I will not allow this from you, any more than I would allow it from anyone else.”

“Since when did you become so responsible?” He scoffed, trying to free himself from my grip in much the same way a petulant child would.

“There are enough rumors about me without you making a public spectacle. If you want to be in this relationship, you will grant me the same respect I do you. If you do not, then you may leave. I won’t tolerate it, Eric.”

He laughed humorlessly, “‘Relationship?’ Whoever said this was a relationship? Ever think that maybe I’m just fucking you for the fun of it?”

I hadn’t, in fact, considered that.

“Is that what you think, then?” I asked bitterly. My brother and Markos were probably right, and this was going to hurt to hear.

“Maybe.”

“Fine then,” I felt no different for hearing him say it; rather, I felt nothing at all, and I wondered which part of me was broken that I shouldn’t feel anything.

Eric too paused as our thoughts raced to catch up. “…It’s not like you’ve ever said you care!” he shouted at last.

I was taken aback. I had never said it with words, that was true, but surely he didn’t doubt that I cared? “Eric I-”

“…Just let go of me…” he mumbled, and to my surprise, he slowly began to sink to the ground. I let him go, allowing him to do so as I ran a hand through my hair.

Whatever pressure was building was close to breaking point and he was unraveling. That much was plain to see. He was falling and there was nothing I could do to help him if he wouldn’t talk to me.

“What am I supposed to do with you?” I murmured. Choosing to sit beside him, I rested my head back against the wall in defeat.

“I don’t know…”

“There’s no need for this… you’re only causing yourself pain.”

Eric deliberated a long moment more before something seemed to give, and he finally spoke. “…Half the choices I made were wrong, I was wrong… I didn’t want anyone to get hurt,” he chose his words with extreme care, “…Now I’ve done everything I can think to do, but it’s not enough. I don’t think anything is going to be okay…”

“That’s unreasonably vague… you’re dancing around the truth.”

“I didn’t lie…”

“…Only because you can’t.”

He looked frustrated, taking in a controlled breath as he turned away. “I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

This is why we train them not to show emotion—because it hurts to see their pain.

“I want you to tell me the truth, all of it… You can’t lie but you’re keeping things from me. Are you truly so afraid of me?”

“You’re Fae,” he mumbled as if that was an explanation for everything.

“And?”

“That makes it complicated.”

All these endless half-truths and riddles. I didn’t have the intelligence to figure it out, nor did I even have the will to try anymore. I took a deep breath in, “Fine… If you won’t let me help you, then there’s nothing else I can do. You’ll be treated as any other public nuisance. Guards will collect you later, and you’ll sit in a cell overnight while I decide what should be done with you.”

He didn’t answer and I got up to go. There was no point wasting my time with him if he was unwilling to trust me. “Nathaniel..-” he took hold of my pant leg and I stopped, waiting.

“I’m listening.”

“I put a hex on Calla, so that she wouldn’t fall pregnant to Markos. But now Claire is pregnant, and I also lied to her about her pregnancy to make her abort it. She didn’t… -I thought Markos would kill Calla… I didn’t know what else to do…”

I had a feeling he was only telling me half of the truth, but it was a start, “You shouldn’t interfere with women’s affairs.”

“Thank you, for that wisdom.”

I smiled slightly, bemused; all these humans and their rampant emotions. A few days should give everyone the time they need to calm down. Then we could discuss a resolution to this. “You’ll be confined to a room of your choosing for a week, as will Miss Walsh.”

“You’re still going to punish me?”

“That little argument you had with Claire was far too public for me not to.”

He was quiet; I suppose he understood. “Do you hate me…?”

“No.”

“…Would you ever hate me?”

“Depends on what you did.” For some reason he looked strangely vulnerable, I’m not sure that I had ever seen him look quite so conflicted.

“What if I was sorry? For everything… Everything that I’ve done to you, everything that I’m doing to you… What if it was something I wished I could take back? Something I wanted to stop but it was just too late?”

“What are you talking about?” He must have thought he was guilty of something, or perhaps he was afraid.

“…There are things I wish I had never done, I never intended to hurt anyone…”

I took a breath in as I considered. It would be so much easier if he just told me what was wrong. “It doesn’t matter what you intended… If you want this situation to be different, then do something different,’” I stated calmly, and he hesitated.

“Quoting my own words back to me is cruel…”

“I’ve never claimed to be kind,” I offered him a hand up, and he gently accepted the gesture.

“I don’t know how to change anything…”

“And you think I did when you shouted that at me?”

“You’re such a bastard…”

“Whatever, choose the room you will remain in. I have to go deliver my judgment to Claire as well.”

“I choose your room…” he mumbled.

“…That’s fine, but don’t make a mess.”

“It’s not like I could with all the junk you keep in there.”

“None of it is junk,” I disagreed indignantly.

“If that’s what you tell yourself.”

I rolled my eyes, he was rude perhaps, but it was still nice to see him return to a more normal state. I let his hand go as I moved to leave, and he held tighter again, pulling me back a second time.

“Wait, Nathaniel… I didn’t mean it…”

“Which part?”

“The part about this not being a relationship. It is, you’re more important to me than that, and I’m sorry I suggested otherwise.”

The discomfort such a simple statement caused. It was easier for me to believe he had meant what he said. I hadn’t even meant to call this a relationship myself. That implied far too much responsibility. If this was real, then I had something to lose, and I don’t know that I could bear it if anything were to happen to him. Especially not right in front of me like last time.

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