Eric Linnaeus | Book 3 | Chapter 22 - Something Is Wrong with My Human (Patreon)

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𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕀𝕤 𝕎𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕄𝕪 ℍ𝕦𝕞𝕒𝕟ɴᴀᴛʜᴀɴɪᴇʟ ᴋʟᴇɪɴ: ᴍᴀʏ, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶.

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It was only some hours later that Charles came in search of Eric.

“Where is he!?” he demanded, storming down the hall as I was exiting my room. Witch’s energy radiated off him and I closed the door to my bedroom softly. I supposed he had heard what happened.

“He is in isolation,” I responded calmly.

“He told my sister she was going to die unless she aborted her child!”

“I understand you’re upset. But if you don’t calm down I’ll have you isolated as well.”

“You cold fairy bastard,” he muttered, the veins in his neck strained as he tried to force himself to relax.

“Fae,” I corrected him simply.

“You put my sister into isolation as well? What the hell for? She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“They are both being punished in the same manner for the same crime—causing a public disturbance.”

The energy in him swirled dangerously, and I wondered if he would try to hit me. Fortunately, he made better decisions than that. “Whatever, you tell Eric that we’re done. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”

“When he is allowed from the room, you may tell him yourself.”

I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him his best friend no longer wished any contact with him. Moreover, I hoped a few days would take the edge off the hurt feelings these humans had. But they are a species well known for holding grudges.

“That implies I would have to talk to him.”

“You’re not children and you will not handle this issue as if you are. Now, if you would excuse me, I have other matters to attend.”

“I want to see my sister.”

“Very well. The only condition is that she may not leave her room; I never stated that guests weren’t permitted.”

He left without saying anything more, and I sighed. If Eric knew Charles was upset with him, I feared it would push him to further reckless acts. For now, it was better that he rest without the additional worry.

On the first day of his imprisonment, Eric behaved like a caged animal: restless and agitated, as if waiting for something worse to happen. He would not sleep, and I could not calm him. He didn’t wish me to leave the room, and seemed anxious each time I returned.

How long could humans go before succumbing to exhaustion? I was sure he was going to break some kind of record; and when he at last slept it was not for more than a few hours. He was asleep at midday when I checked on him but awake again when I returned later in the afternoon with food.

Eric sat on the floor beside the bed, polishing some of the ornaments I had in the room. He was wearing one of my shirts, though I couldn’t imagine why as it was too big and only loosely buttoned.

“What are you doing?”

“You never clean these,” he mumbled.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s not like I have anything else to do.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, do as you please.”

The room had been secured by a barrier spell at the door, but he had access to the entirety of it. In truth, it is similar to what humans would call an apartment and has ample space, so I’m sure there were a great number of other things he could have chosen to do.

“Nathaniel…” he called my attention quietly without looking up from his task.

“…Yes?”

“They all hate me… don’t they?”

I didn’t know what to say, “…Is there a reason they shouldn’t?”

“…No,” he murmured quietly.

He sounded so broken that it hurt to hear it. I hate human emotions. Perhaps I should have comforted him, but I didn’t know how, “…Do you care if they hate you?” I asked instead.

Eric glared up at me, “Of course I care,” he hissed through his teeth, annoyed.

“Then you’ll find a way to make it up to them.”

“There’s nothing I can do…”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“How can you be so certain?”

“Because I know you. What you’ve done isn’t unforgivable and that defiant spark that’s so annoying to deal with also means you never give up on anything. So, if you still care, I know you’ll keep trying until you make it right.”

“I’ve been trying with Calla… She doesn’t even want to look at me, let alone talk to me…”

“I didn’t say it would be easy.”

“What if what I’ve done is worse than I’ve said..?”

“Is it?”

“…Yes…”

I hesitated, of course I knew he hadn’t told me the entire truth yet, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. “How much worse?” He didn’t answer so I prompted again, “If ever there was a time to tell me what you’ve done, now is the time.”

“There is something I need to tell you..”

“Okay, I’m listening,” I assured, and he gestured for me to come over.

“Sit with me?” he requested and I obliged, though it was an effort to sit among the hundreds of glistening items around us without crushing any of them.

“What is it that you want to tell me?”

Eric hesitated, focusing momentarily on cleaning the object in his hands, before at last looking over. “I know you want to hurt me sometimes.”

Wonderful, he was going to lecture me.

“I tried to make you hurt me,” he continued, catching me by surprise.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to be worse than you are, so I don’t have to feel as bad as I do.”

“…You’re making very little sense-”

“Just listen. I’m trying to tell you that I’m proud of you. You’ve changed so many things, and you control yourself even when I challenge you. I know how easy it would be for you just to give in to it. But you never do. You’re nothing like your father, and you’re not the same person you were. I’m glad to have met you; you’ve done well, Nathaniel.”

“I…” there were no words to give him, “Eric…”

“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know.”

No one had ever said that to me before, and it made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure I believed it or that he meant what he said. Moreover, I was somewhat anxious; it sounded like he was saying goodbye, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

I wanted to ask why he would say that now. Instead, he crawled into my lap, and I accepted him there. The nails on his right hand scraped my cheek lightly as he held my face to kiss me. They were sharp, and it was only our contract that protected me from them.

He pushed my shirt off, and the rush of fabric hitting the ground sealed my fate. His warmth was a comfort, and his skin against mine was electric. With all of Markos and Achaicus’s warnings I shouldn’t have been doing this anymore; I knew that, and I didn’t care.

We found each other on the floor. His soft sighs and muted groans held me transfixed. It was like a game. I wanted to see how loud I could make him; how far I could push his self-control before it broke. He clenched his teeth, hiding his face in his forearm, and I wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer so that I could kiss the back of his neck.

Eric shuddered, pressing himself back against me, and I took the opportunity to bite his shoulder. “Nh- careful…” he complained breathlessly. His face warmed, turning flush, and the mild irritation in his expression was priceless. It didn’t matter if I left marks on him; he wasn’t going to be out in public any time soon, and he deserved the punishment for the last time.

We were lost to each other for some hours. I hadn’t known lust the way I knew it with him, and I was glad for him to fall asleep curled against me afterward. I patted his hair; it was smooth and silky, and I pulled on strands of it gently as my mind wandered. It seemed unfathomable that he should hurt me, no matter what anyone else thought.

He was deeply asleep, holding onto my arm with both his hands peacefully. He trusted me, I supposed, to be so vulnerable like this. How could I not trust him in return? Still, it was strange: to have something so close, and I allowed myself to think of things I usually prefer to avoid.

I seldom give thought to how I feel about others because it scares me how little sentiment I have for anyone. Even now, with him like this I’m not sure I felt anything, just as I hadn’t when he insinuated that he had no care for me. I fear that I’m a hollow person, for it’s not only Eric I feel this way with. When I met with my brother and our father ambushed us, I believed Achaicus had betrayed me, and still, even in those moments, I felt nothing…

The clearest emotion I have is rage, even small things piss me off more than I let on and it takes a near constant effort not to let it show. Eric had said I’m nothing alike to my father, but he simply had no idea how incorrect he was. Sometimes I fear that I am vacant inside, that I have no affections to give.

I know Achaicus is important to me, and I know I care for Eric… so why am I like this? Is a person not supposed to feel something? I feign warmth for others, but I fear it is not enough. What if they are somehow able to see through the facade? Do I look as empty as I am inside?

Beside me Eric took in a deeper breath as he fidgeted, and I tensed slightly. Were my thoughts disturbing him? For such an obnoxious brat, he seemed so fragile, and I found myself wondering what it was he could possibly have done to me.

Of course I recognized that he was giving me opportunities to press him further. He wanted to tell me, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, and I didn’t truly want to know. There were so many other things I had to consider now; did I believe he was capable of hurting me? What level of betrayal was I willing to forgive him for? I decided I needed to know.

If I understood his secrets before he could tell me, then I could at least have the time to decide what to do about them beforehand. I left the bed silently, carefully slipping from his hold. I pulled on my pants and a coat. I didn’t care what time of the night it was; Markos was getting a visit.

I made it not more than a few steps down the hall before I ran into almost all of the nobles. My brother, Markos, Baltzar, Alvíss and Killian. Beside them they had Molly and Calla, and their faces were grim. Markos had his scythe, and Achaicus tossed me my sword. It didn’t need to be said, I knew why they were coming to find me, our enemies were at the lake.

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