Prose Pointers: Show vs Tell (Patreon)

Quick apology, in the last Prose Pointer (and my last update post xD) I completely confused myself about when I should post the next prompt and wrote an entire desk calendar schedule for the next year based on posting the next one in July. So, next prompt is coming July 24 and then I'll be back on schedule for being bi-monthly. Sorry about the mix up! Okay, onto the Prose Pointer!

Show vs. tell is one of those things you hear so frequently as a writer that you probably have one of two reactions to it. You’re probably either thinking, ‘Yeah, I know, move on,’ or ‘that’s so common I’m embarrassed to ask how to actually implement it.’ You may have also heard it quoted as ‘show don’t tell.’ But telling isn’t inherently bad, and it’s definitely not something you should avoid doing at all costs. The important thing with show vs. tell is finding a balance. Showing creates vivid scenes, while telling provides necessary information to move the story along.

So, let’s get this one out of the way. Here’s my advice for knowing when to show or tell:

Most importantly, what’s the difference? Showing uses sensory details (what your character sees, hears, smells, feels, tastes), dialogue, and action to convey a scene or emotion. Telling, on the other hand, involves stating a fact or emotion outright. Showing a character's fear by describing their racing heart and sweaty palms is different than simply telling your reader "they were afraid."

Again, you want to use telling for transitions and to move the story along. Here’s an example: Let’s say I’m starting a story with a thief as the main character, and am opening the scene with him getting dressed in the morning. This is normal, as you typically want to establish what your characters are wearing, and you could say it’s most commonly done through telling. The narrator might tell you that he laced up his boots, pulled his jacket on over his shirt, and stuffed a hat onto his head. Great, outfit established, and there’s nothing wrong with these quick descriptions to move the story forward and start getting into it.

Now, what if it would be beneficial to use more showing here? What if the thief laces his battered boots up over his bare feet, and winces as his curled toes squeeze against the front? What if he feels a cold draft through the hole in the armpit of his jacket as he reaches up to put his hat on? If this were the case, you might start to get the impression that our thief isn’t so just for the fun of it, but because he’s too poor to even buy new clothes. This is why showing is best used for the important things, like moments that are emotionally charged or significant to the story/character development.

That being said, once you’ve established important details like this, you really don’t need to keep showing the reader every chance you get. I could probably tell you with one simple sentence that he walked to the bathroom after he got dressed, as opposed to spending another paragraph describing how much his toes hurt with every step on the way there.

So, how do you decide what’s important enough to show? That’s really going to depend on the story you want to tell. Maybe I do just want to hurry the thief through getting dressed in the morning with telling, that way I can get him out into the world and use other interactions to show the reader who he is. Or, maybe I need to show the reader his inner workings before he makes it out the door, because he’s too prideful to show it once he leaves his home. In the end, it’s up to you to decide what’s important and when you want to relay that to the reader, but remember that if it is important, you probably want to show it instead of tell.

Finally, and this will be a recurring theme in these Prose Pointers, don’t stress too much about getting it right the first time. Edit for balance later, and pay attention to the use of showing vs. telling when you aren’t simply trying to get words out on the page. If you’re editing and find that a scene feels flat or rushed, think about how you can add more showing to make it more engaging or emotional. Or, if it feels like a scene is taking too long to get to the point, or even that there is no point, you may need to show less and move the scene along more quickly with telling.

And now, hopefully, you understand show vs. tell if you didn’t before, or a little more than you did before. If there was anything in this Prose Pointer that you didn’t understand, or something you’d like me to explore more in depth, let me know in the comments! Happy writing!