Prose Pointers: Action Scenes (Patreon)

Notes: Huge update for you real quick, I'm almost done with my next novel! I only have a handful of chapters left to write and then I'll be entering the editing phase. When all's said and done, I hope to start posting chapters here on Patreon sometime in the fall :D. Okay, read on!

Writing action scenes can be tough, especially because there’s so much to keep track of. You’ve got pacing, tension, description, emotion, dialogue, and probably even some other things I’m forgetting. Not to mention how much we can learn about a character by seeing how they respond to intense situations! So, let me try to break down some of these devices to help you write your next action scene.

First things first, pacing. While there are exceptions, you generally want your action scenes to be fast paced, and one of the simplest ways to do this is by paying attention to sentence length and using active verbs. Short sentences are quick and snappy. Longer sentences tend to slow things down and can pull your reader out of that high stakes feeling. This goes hand in hand with active verbs. For example, the difference between “She was running as fast as she could toward the door” and “She sprinted toward the door.” The first is okay, but using ‘sprint’ as the active verb has far more urgency to it and shortens the sentence.

So, then, what’s the exception? When and why would you want to slow things down in an action scene? Well, tension is a big reason. If pacing is the heartbeat of action, then tension is the heart. It controls the stakes, sets the stage, and then sends the pace off racing. Think about the stand off before a shootout. Or the hero pausing in the midst of a losing fight to survey the hopeless battlefield. Or time slowing for several moments as the main character or a loved one sustains a mortal injury. Whether at the beginning, middle, or end of an action scene (or any scene, for that matter), correctly slowing things down can be a great way to (re)establish tension.

One common way to do this is to focus on smaller things. Go from narrating/describing the movement of the fight to describing the journey of a movement. For example, two characters are slashing at each other with their swords, but you want the final, fight-ending slash to be in slow motion. So, describe the hero’s desperation and exhaustion as they raise their sword. Describe their awareness of the enemy doing the same. Detail how they line up their own strike as they dodge that of the enemy, and the enemy’s facial expressions of realization as the hero lands their own attack. Suddenly, you’ve gone from several actions per paragraph to an entire paragraph focused on one single moment, and the reader can feel the weight of that moment.

Also, while we’re talking about pacing and tension – and I’m sorry to do this – I’ve got to bring back show vs. tell. Whether it’s the cause or the effect, there’s a lot of telling in action scenes on account of how quickly most of them are paced, but don’t forget about showing, especially as it pertains to tension and slowing things down. Use your character’s trembling hands to show us how scared they are. Describe the sound of swords clashing or the smell of gunpowder. Telling will keep the action necessarily moving, but what’s the point if we’re not smack dab in the middle of a scene with the characters?

On that note: detail, detail, detail. With discretion. Maybe an old western duel would benefit from focusing on a character’s hand hovering over their holstered pistol and going straight to a pointed, smoking barrel. But if you’re narrating a sword fight, you want your reader to be able to follow the action instead of wondering how a character got from point A to point B, and any other movements in between. So do your research to learn what kinds of motion is realistic for your scene, and/or watch some videos to help you visualize them yourself.

Last but not least – dialogue. Dialogue is a tough one. On the one hand, too much of it or too long of a conversation can break up the flow and slow down the pace. But on the other hand, people talk, even in the midst of epic battles. The best thing to do is to keep dialogue swift and scarce unless you’re intentionally trying to create tension or heighten emotion. Like when the hero has to say goodbye to a loved one who’s dying in their arms, or is pleading with their lover to unlock the gate instead of facing the threat alone.

At the end of the day, practice makes perfect. Never forget that writing is a skill that can be developed the same way you get better at drawing or playing an instrument. Keep working on your action scenes and don't be afraid to experiment or ask for feedback!