Prose Pointers: Good Dialogue (Patreon)

Good dialogue is one of the most important things you need to make your story successful, as it can relay important information and even establish and develop your characters. It’s also one of the quickest things that can break immersion if gotten wrong. Seeing as it’s so important, I want to talk about a few things to keep in mind when writing it.

First things first, don’t be intimidated – one of the greatest things about dialogue is that it doesn’t have to follow all the same syntax and style rules as the rest of the narrative. Where the rest of your novel needs proper punctuation and generally sticks with a formal structure, dialogue can vary by character. Maybe your character is just like the rest of us, who usually default to “you and me,” even when it’d be correct to say “you and I.” Or maybe your character is educated and proper, and uses “whom” when appropriate instead of the more casual but technically incorrect “who.” Or maybe they’re a bit of a grump and keep their sentences short and clipped, or they’re airy and like to babble. Have fun with it, and use grammar or accents to express something about where your character is from or what their social status is.

That being said, I will offer one warning about using accents – keep it simple and don’t overdo it. Making an accent tedious to read will break your reader’s immersion, and even worse, leaning too far into stereotyping of accents can be offensive. For example, using ‘ze’ instead of ‘the’ for a French accent, or for a Southern accent ending every-ing word with -in’, like fixin’ or walkin’. Instead of accenting every word you can, pick a couple specific words that a character might say frequently, and accent those as an occasional reminder. Another thing you can do is research what kind of slang is used in the region your character is from (or make up your own regional slang, if you’re writing in a fantasy world). You can also (infrequently) substitute a word with one in your character’s first language as a reminder, for example with English and Spanish: “Take a coat, mija, it’s supposed to rain.” Note – an exception to this is if you want a character to be a caricature and not be taken seriously, then overdoing accents is a great way to accomplish this. But again, be careful not to offend your readers in the process.

So, what about the actual dialogue? Though I can’t remember exactly where I heard this, one of the most helpful things I ever learned about dialogue was that it should imitate real life, not be exactly like real life – do not try to make your dialogue as realistic as possible. A lot of times in real life we rely on body language or facial expressions to convey things unsaid, and it would be exhausting and uninteresting to read about each micro expression in a book. Or we go into great detail about things when talking with a friend, spending more time on a conversation than would be reasonable to give that same conversation in a book. Just like the rest of the narrative, the dialogue that you include should be leading somewhere or telling us something important, and you really don’t want to drag out conversations for the sake of making them ‘realistic.’

Another reason dialogue should imitatereal life is because we tend to use a lot of vocal fillers, like the words ‘like’ or ‘um’. These serve an important purpose when speaking verbally, as they do things like give us time to think or moderate the flow of speech. And, sure, you can absolutely sprinkle in the word ‘like’ for one of your characters, or use ‘um’ to express a character’s hesitation. But if you used these in writing as often as we said them out loud, let’s be honest, it’d get annoying. I’d even argue the same is true for swear words. Swearing can be an effective tool to add personality or edge to certain characters, but be careful not to overdo it. Not only can it get annoying, but curse words can have a big impact on the tone and severity of a scene if used sparingly beforehand.

There is one thing you can and should carry over from real life, in moderation, of course. This thing is movement. Stopping mid-sentence to cross the room and stare out the window. Clearing your throat before finishing a difficult confession. Wringing your hands in nervousness or clapping over an ‘aha!’ moment. And, yes, sometimes this also includes body language or facial expressions. There are two big reasons for carrying these types of actions over. The first reason is that these actions can tell your reader something important that isn’t being said. If a character is talking about where they got the handful of dollar bills they’re holding, but their eyes are darting around the room, it tells your reader they’re lying. Or if they’re standing chest to chest with a bully and maintaining eye contact while they tell them off, but their fingers are tapping anxiously against their thigh because their hand is shaking, we know they’re still scared. You don’t need to describe every little thing about their demeanor that portrays their dishonesty or their fear, but giving the reader a glimpse of one thing amidst dialogue can help the world feel more alive, as well as tell the reader something that other characters aren’t realizing.

Another reason I really like to interrupt dialogue with movement is to carry over the pauses we take in real life. When speaking, we frequently pause after an ‘um,’ or we stop in the middle of a long sentence to take a deep breath, or we need to swallow down our nerves before saying whatever it is we want to say. More often than not, these pauses impress the mood and tone of the conversation, and that’s something you don’t want to lose when bringing dialogue into writing, especially during emotional scenes. I’ve found that including movement in writing where we might normally pause to take a breath in real life not only accomplishes that preservation, but enhances it by conveying more of what’s happening between the characters than what’s only being said.

If you’re worried your dialogue is cheesy, too long, or too real or unrealistic, the best thing you can do is put it down for a few days and come back to read it later. Another thing you can do is try reading it out loud, or ask a friend to read it for/to you. Whatever you do, don’t forget to have fun. Make your characters big and loud and boisterous if you really want to, or make their accent thick and obnoxious. You can always tone it down during editing. Happy writing!