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Discussion for Field Trip: My Butt, a Colonoscopy Ride Along (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-14 04:42:10
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Helloooo! So we got this up a lil' late but it's an important one and very, uh...personal. 

It's short but packed full of tips, tricks, stats, interviews with strangers, drug-hazed reporting, some surprise sex stuff, and medical news!

Pass this one along to anyone who's feeling afraid. Have you been putting off a colonoscopy? Have you had one? Any extra tips I should have included? 

All ears and butts,

Alie VonWardcast

Files

FIELD TRIP: My Butt, a Colonoscopy Ride Along & How-To - alie ward

Come check out my butt with me! 1 in 16 people in the U.S. will have colon cancer, and 0 in 16 want to talk about getting a camera up your guts to check things out.

Comments

Bronwyn Cole

Thank you Alie. I was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 33 last November. The more awareness spread, the better.

Antonia Clark

I had one many moons ago and can relate to the experience. Worse things happen in life. Thanks for sharing and shining attention on an important topic dad!

Isabela

I haven't listened yet but I got one at age 31 a few months ago because of a weird CAT scan. Watching what I ate the few days before made prep soooo much better. I overheard the guy next to me before they took me back saying to the nurse that he'd eaten something THAT morning and I was O_O

Emily

I’m 26 years old and got my first colonoscopy last November - diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I’m currently experiencing my first flare up since starting medications so I’m on the books for my second colonoscopy next month. Thank you for posting this episode. It helped me feel less alone and more brave as I go into the next one.

Deacon Raid

Good episode! I enjoyed it a lot.

Taylor Kendall

I hope somone warned you about the prep drugs. Don't trust a sneeze.

Emmalee Jones

Omg what a serendipitous gift, thank you!! Colonoscopies have been on my mind recently coz ima need to start having them soon (family history here too). This episode will be such a valuable resource!!

Gordon Haas

Old, non-PC joke: How do you say Colonoscopy in Italian? Innuendo.

Hannah Johnson

Had my first colonoscopy at 27. You know that scene in Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince where Harry has to force Dumbledore to drink that horrible, creepy liquid, and he's begging for it to stop? That was pretty much my experience with drinking the prep liquid. Definitely the worst part of the whole experience.

Lindsay Malone

Alie, congratulations on getting your first colonoscopy behind you! (That one comes from a neighbor's bumper sticker.) So happy you got the pre-cancer polyp all snipped out!!! I'm in my early 40s, have had two colonoscopies with pre-C polyps removed, and have a family history of colon cancer; so these "medi-spa" procedures are going to be the norm for a few decades. Here's to making them fun or at least no big deal. A few recommendations: True Lemon lemonade is great for folks who don't want the Crystal Light artificial ingredients, Propel sticks from Gatorade are clear and another electrolytes option, and after one starts the prep they can feel cold in their core - so keep the heat lamp on in the bathroom and maybe have a warmed gel pack for the abs. Also, it can be fun to deep clean the fridge the day of clear liquids consumption. And if your power goes out mid-prep, candles add some functional ambiance. Can't wait to share this episode with friends who are about to have their first colon photoshoot.

Sydonie S.

Alie, thank you for this episode! At 29 I had my first colonoscopy, I have a family history of ulcerative colitis and was having some general GI issues. Ended up having some precancerous polyps removed and now have the opportunity to get a colonoscopy every 5 years too. For me, the prep was not easy, sometimes if I think about that drink too much I can taste and feel it in my mouth 😩. Will definitely try adding crystal lite for my colonoscopy next year.

Dr Hybrid

Just had one this year at 36 (Family History). The doctor did not warn me about the post procedure gas/bloating! Apparently some times they’ll actually use compressed air to inflate the colon in order to see better. The tip I offer is to do some light yoga to let it out. Specifically a modified child’s pose … with your butt in the air.

JENN 'Benthopelagic squirrel' ALVAREZ

Great episode! My dad died from colorectal cancer. I was supposed to start getting colonoscopies starting at 45 but my insurance wouldn't cover it bc I have family history 😑😶😑 I'm going to have to try again soon with my new insurance. I'm glad they snipped the polyp! And I love that you randomly decided to ask bar people about it.🤣 never change, Dadward!

Nolan Childerhose

Thank you for this episode! I have cystic fibrosis and we're also a group that has to have semi-regular colonoscopies. The tips about the drink prep are so helpful! Having a podcast ep to send someone to encourage them to be proactive in their health checkups is wonderful, especially when it's an ology field trip.

Audrey Pearson

Thanks for the episode! My husband has his first colonoscopy Monday so we’re going to listen together this weekend.

Isabelle Leclerc

Dadward, I am so glad you had the courage to do this episode, and bare your soul to help reduce the stigma around this. I had one a couple of years ago, and wanted to show my partner the images saying that "the bowel is THE window to the soul", and I stand by that statement, despite my still being a little loopy from the anesthetic when I said it, lol.

Diane Heise

Thanks for this episode, I will ask my doctor to schedule one.

Appropriately Inapropriate

I enjoyed this episode. I, too, just had my first colonoscopy. I had a different prep but wish I'd had the tips about the crystal light and fizzy water. My one tip: if you are someone who is interested in medicine or biological sciences consider declining sedation. It really isn't that uncomfortable and it is SUPER interesting. I did mine with no sedation, I got to watch the whole procedure and ask questions, I geeked out about the really awesome endoscope equipment they had with the nerdy doctor, it was a great experience. When discussing this option with the doctor before my procedure I told them I was scared about the discomfort so we decided to start unmedicated and if I wanted, at any point, they could give the medication as it is very fast acting. So glad I did. And, people should know it's not nearly as embarrassing as you think it will be. When I walked into my procedure room I discovered that I was going to have 2 very young, very handsome doctors creeping around in my butthole. Great, I thought, that will make it more embarrassing. But it wasn't at all. I just pretended I wasn't embarrassed and they were professional, and the embarrassment just went away after a couple of minutes and a few butthole jokes from me.

Connie Brooks

After my first colonoscopy this spring (age 47, pre-C polyp snipped) I asked coworkers who wanted to see pics of my shiny colon. No one took me up on the offer. Thanks, Dadward, for being awesome!

Rashelle Kindschi

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and spreading the word about how important this screening is. My husband has stage 4 colon cancer and was diagnosed at age 45. I believe the screening age should be moved up to 40 (at least) because the outcomes are so much better if it is caught early. Also, thank you for sharing your dad’s story. My heart goes out to you and I so appreciate all that you do!

Matt Ceccato

The prep for the colonoscopy is much worse than the actual procedure. But one thing COVID has changed is having a loved one waiting for you in the building before/after the procedure. My last colonoscopy was an endurance not because of the prep but because of the waiting on the day of. The office got behind schedule and I had to wait longer for my procedure than expected. To say I was lonely was an understatement. Sure, I "had my phone," but that can't replace human contact. Bring something engaging to read.

Brittany Shafis

Thank you so much for sharing and taking care of your health! I really loved this episode.

Stephanie Broertjes

Very interested in this episode b/c my spouse gets one in a week

Jennifer Doyle

I don't like artificial sweetener, so the recommendation to add crystal light did NOT go well for me. I switched to using lemon or lime juice and some simple syrup - which not only tasted better but helped with the low blood sugar shakiness.

Benedict Pagac

My experience was the anastasia didn’t knock me out immediately. And made me feel very amorous. I was convinced the masked-gowned nurse talking to me was quite attractive and attempted to chat her up. I realized later I probably wasn’t at my best wearing a back split gown and with a tube going up my butt.

Pavka34

I’ve had two colonoscopies so far, due to family history (and now I’m “that” age). Both times the anesthesia knocked me right out. Best advice for prep day is take everything slow and mellow, and have a good book.

Padraic Malinowski

One thing I haven't seen mentioned here yet is: if your diet is high in nuts, seeds, and fiber, first of all congrats, that's really healthy. But also one prep might not clean you out enough for the specialist to see anything, and so you might need a second prep and a second colonoscopy the next day. Source: happened to my partner at her first colonoscopy, aged 51.

Lorie B

I'm up for my first in 2 weeks. This couldn't better timed.

Emily Adams

Oh my gosh I'm doing this on Monday! Starting prep in 2 days. I'm so scared and this is such a gift. THANK YOU! I'm also here for ALL THE TIPS!

Katie King

Thank you so much! I have an appointment for early screening and this took a huge amount of fear out of the possibility of needing a colonoscopy! So glad yours went well!

Kimberly Peck

Thank you for this. I’ve been looking at a reminder on my desk that says to schedule my first colonoscopy for a few days. I was starting to question my choice for the procedure versus Cologuard but I’m feeling better about it thanks to you!

Verena Runstadler

This episode was great I laughed so many times and then at the end I surprised myself by crying, and I’m not sure if it was from relief or love or missing people I’ve lost, but either way it was a great ep!

Scott Hanley

Scorpio Special this episode, if you know you know. Speaking of butt humor, the meme of an innocent child defining ANALOGY as the study of butt holes, always makes me think of Ologies and good humor.

Gaelle Gralnek

Great ideas and "colon photoshoot" made me LOL

Cole

My colonoscopy prep advice (I have UC so this is a common thing for me, sadly) 1.) to clear your calendar for the night before and day of. 2.) Have ice to cool down the prepdrinkstuff or use a fancy cooling cup or something. 3.) Straw to help keep it off your tongue. 4.) Plenty of other water to wash it down. Gather all the drinks in the potty before you start drinking the stuff. You won't want to go anywhere. (I have a little table that fits next to the potty for all these things) 5.) Set a timer for 2-3 minutes to take a break between sips/gulps. 6.) DISSASOCIATE into your phone between sips. I have TicToK on my phone only for this reason. Whatever you can do to forget your body exists between drinks is a lifesaver. Helps the time pass by much more quickly.

Diana Murray

I had mine last year. Prep was definitely the worst part, especially the day/night before. The actual process was far far easier than I anticipated.

Kirsten Silvey

Very important episode. I’m glad you also attempted to deconflate homophobia and the fear of colonoscopy. Medical exams should never be conflated with a sexual act. Imagine the exponential increase in cervical cancer if women did that about Pap tests?! Not all men are morons…but… Dr. S

Ivy Wells

I didn't even know it was an option to decline sedation. That's actually the part I am dreading most.

Appropriately Inapropriate

It probably depends on the doctor, I suspect some have a preference. It's worth a conversation though. Every person I interacted with prior to meeting the doctors performing the procedure spoke as if it was not optional. They said things like "this procedure requires sedation" but then the doctors told me it was optional but that basically everyone opted for sedation.

Jennifer Huseman

Did mine several months ago... here's my tips: 1)non fat chicken broth is quite filling, helps with hunger 2) set up your own potty room, everyone else in house uses a different one 3) in potty room have a little trash can, wet wipes (diaper), clorox wipes, bathroom freshener, and reading material 4) lots of wiping can dry out tush, use wet wipes, dispose in trash can 5) violent pooping can splash, use clorox wipes to clean up area for next evacuation, dispose in trash can. 6) reserve a room near your designated potty to 'hang out' so close to your evacuation area. You can have quiet space and quick access when the need arises. Everyone says "it's not as bad as you think it will be" and I agree. Good advice already shared: take the prep day and day of procedure off work... get some me time in.

Lee

Great episode. I lost my dad at a young age to colon cancer and so have been getting them since my early 30s, including one where they removed a couple of benign polyps. A funny story, when I first went in and had no idea what I was doing they told me no food or drinks for 24 hours before the procedure. That sounded pretty awful but I could handle it and I was miserable, absolutely miserable for the day. So when I got there in the morning to do the test I was not only really hungry, but pretty dehydrated because… no food or drinks means no food or drinks, water is a drink, I took it literally. When I chatted with a nurse during recovery it was then that I learned I could have been having water and “clear liquids”. I wish I had had this episode then to clear up the confusion.

Scott Hanley

Great job DadWard looking out for number 1 and getting checked and corrected early/right on time. ❤️

Wendy Fick

Great episode! I'm getting colonoscopy #3 in a few weeks. Looking forward to the medically sanctioned nap. Not so much the prep process. 🙂

Curious

Thanks for sharing. As I have been diagnosed with Crohn's disease for over 25 years, I have had quite a few colonoscopies. I now use the pill and plain water prep regimen which is quite easy. I also do the prep earlier in the preceding day. I start at 1:00 p.m. and am done with all of the watery "evacuation" by 10:00 p.m. This allows me to get a good night's sleep before the procedure. Also, the results in terms of a clean bowel are the same as getting up in the middle of the night to do the final half.

Nathalie Jones

I listened to this while walking 30+ minutes to obtain a facebook marketplace (i know i know, sketch) and I cannot imagine the faces I was making as I strolled along in an unknown neighborhood.

Megan Welch

Loved this episode and thank you for getting a colonoscopy & sharing about the experience! I have not yet had this experience but I have gotten to observe a few and help patients prep for them often in hospital. That golytely needs another name, right?

Jean Caruso

Not gonna lie...I have a little bit more than just normal anxiety about these things. I probably have an undiagnosed ulcer and or some sort of gut health issue I probably need checked out. But this giggling and honesty truly is helping me face some fears. Thank you.

Nancy Boyle

I’ve had numerous colonoscopies and it is so true that the prep is 100 times worse than the actual procedure. My advice- have Vaseline handy and use it early and often to protect your sensitive butt-area. My question is about preps. I’ve had several different prep protocols and some were ridiculously difficult and one in particular wasn’t bad at all. What is the best prep?

Lisa Butler

Sounds like you know the answer already! 😅 What was "the one that wasn't bad"?!

Jason Lowenthal

I know it's not the same thing, but I have my first endoscopy coming up in a few days (upper). I turn 43 this year, and just having scheduled it made me feel anciently old. Listening to this episode reminds me that this is all important stuff and it's okay to be... mortal. (also, I've lost family members to colon cancer, so this is great prep... Thank you for making education accessible and FUN!!!)

Melissa Kane

Thanks for being vulnerable with us.I’m no longer worried about getting one.

Figment

not that it's a competition, but you win!! out of all the comments, everything you said is spot on, every point and every tip. i'd also add that i was very dehydrated the following day and felt terrible at work. give yourself an extra day :-)

Michael Wegman

This is so timely. I literally have my first colonoscopy scheduled for one month from now. Really, but not really looking forward to it.

Doctor (almost!) Elder

Thank you for sharing this, it was brave and honest and very important. I admire you so much.

Ted Vician

I could 100% taste the “gas station bathroom cleaner” flavor.

Jeanette-o-saur

I say this with the awareness that this is a very privileged 'worst medical experience of my life' but I definitely have trauma from my colonoscopy. Not the colonoscopy itself, that part was fine but the lead up did not go well for me. First up, the diarrhea juice... Ok on day 1. On day 2 my body decided I was too stupid not to poison myself and went into auto-gag mode every time it touched my lips 🥴 It was an interminable evening of drinking extremely diluted sips of it. (I've heard they have alternatives now, but haven't listened to the episode yet) Then I spent the entire morning sitting at the hospital waiting my turn. I normally eat every 2-3 hours and fasting is not my jam. And no water... How is it ok to keep people deprived of water for so long?! Ugghh. Anyways, I had my book. I'm trying to be a patient patient. They put me in the flimsy gown and leave me for hours. I'm hungry, thirsty, and now I'm cold too. They won't even let me swish water in my super dry mouth. Finally they decide they need to replenish my fluids intravenously but I'm so friggin dehydrated they can't find my damn veins. I just haven't had anything to drink for 14-15 hours, who would have seen this coming? Multiple stab wounds later they finally get it in my vein. Then the icing on the cake, the intravenous is ICE COLD. I'm asking for another blanket everytime they come in the room, I'm shivering uncontrollably despite 3-4 blankets, my lips and fingernail beds are blue, and I'm an emotional puddle of borderline weeping. Spoiler: I was in shock. AND NOT ONE OF THE NURSES FIGURED IT OUT. Sorry for yelling but at least 3 nurses stared at me like fools and didn't know what was wrong and I have a VERY hard time accepting that level of incompetence in a bloody hospital. The ice cold intravenous ended, I eventually came out of shock and got my colonoscopy late afternoon (painless and very quick) and got to go home. Once I was in my right mind I realized I had been in shock and was not in fact, a big whiny baby. I'm still 😡. Thank god I don't have to redo them regularly. So yeah, colonoscopies are fine except for the bowel-cleansing-sprite and any accompanying medical incompetence that may occur. Sigh.

Amanda Blake

You are the GOAT. The POWER 🙌🏻 If you can hold a conversation with two doctors while they are actively “creepin around your butthole”, good God you can do anything 💪🏻

choirqueer

This is the most Magic School Bus thing that has ever happened on Ologies and I am SO HERE FOR IT

Greg Walloch

Can we please have an Ologies t-shirt or pin, "It's your house. You deserve to use the back door any way you like." - Alie Ward I had a colonoscopy several years ago, because I was dealing with a bout of mystery IBS. The doctor asked me how I did on the preparation. I told him I drank the entire thing per the instructions. He said, 'Wow! You only need to drink like a quarter of it - most people can only get through a quarter of it. Really?? Wow good job!' and I was like... 'Um, wait what??' as I faded into twilight.

Karin Celestine

I've had loads of them as I had anal cancer and thought the UK process was tough but blimey I don't like your US one with the gallons of stuff. We get two tablets to take, eat liquids for 3 days and a mini enema an hour beforehand. Super tough to do but nothing like yours. Sorry US people! you have my sympathies

Joe Lewis

I really appreciate your taking a moment to disentangle medical procedures from pleasure. My father, who was careful to do his regular well-checks, was a couple of years longer discovering prostate cancer because his doctor favored PSA tests alone as DREs were embarrassing (and because the doctor was watching the PSA results for a threshold rather than watching the trend) (2008-ish, so best practices might have changed). At various times in my life, I have had female GPs or a doctor that was shy, and I have come to realize that if a doctor is embarrassed to see you naked, then you might not be getting the best care.

Joe Lewis

All that said, there is also that episode of the Chris Isaac Show where the musician develops a crush on his female proctologist, so maybe you were addressing something that trips up more than a few folks.

Ashleigh Rivers

I meant to comment, and now I can’t remember if I did! So, I had my first colonoscopy at 35ish I think because of an issue they my GYN she thought was likely from my endometriosis (still most likely the case). Advice I wish I had, and eventually figured out in my own- set up camp in your bathroom. Phone, tablet &/or computer &/or a good book, chargers for your electronics, pillows or some way to be comfy propped on the floor between toilet sittings, plenty of water close by, any time-passing hobby you enjoy that may exist off-device. If you have pets and your partner, if you have one, is out of town, have someone be available to tend to their needs— walks, maybe even feedings and being let out (especially if your dog is also recovering from bladder surgery…). I’m sure there’s more, but whatever you think you’d need for a day camped in the bathroom, get all that ready before you dive in. Next, I don’t know if prep has changed has changed that much in 6 years or if my insurance coverage just got me a garbage kit, but my experience was not as… enjoyable(?). The solution was absolutely gross and there was no unflavored option. The first solution tasted like salty fake peach vomit, the next like salty hi-c but wayyyyy worse. I only vomit when in anaphylaxis, but was sure I was going to while trying to get the solution down and from the feelings of ick while your body deals with all it. I’m glad you figured out how to make it palatable and will try your method next time I have one!

Michelle Fox

I'm a frequent passenger on the colonoscopy train (yea family history!) and I so appreciated this episode, I'm going to listen to it every other year to get in myself in the colonoscopy mood when the time comes around.

Michelle Fox

Also, pro tip from one who's been there - Jello Jigglers (but not the red!) are the way to go on your clear fluids day. It gives you something to actually chew on that feels a little like food.

Katt Simons

Just seeing this (need to check Patreon more) but man I hated the prep. My friend with modern insurance got a small amount of liquid to drink and said even that’s not the newest, which is a pill option. TriCare, military healthcare, Army hospital, gave me old-school full gallon of prep. I honestly got 2/3 done with the first round and was not sure I’d be able to complete it. It wasn’t the pooping, it was the misery of drinking that after a day of no food and drinking water every thirty minutes before I started the prep solution. I swear unmedicated childbirth was less unpleasant - at least you get a baby. I had to force myself by reminding myself that I was doing it for said child. The procedure itself was a cakewalk.

ConnieConnieBoBonnie

Thank you for doing this! I'm just a couple years younger than you, so I know this is coming for me soon. I have a friend with Chrones who has to do a colonoscopy several times a year! Lord have mercy. But (haha) she has a lot of great tips on preparing!

Mimz

What a wonderful PSA and so relatable! I was also so scared when I had mine and I agree, the fear is so much worse than the reality! Great tips for my next one though! Glad you're butt is healthy.

Leanne

Inspired by Alie, I have decided to stop brushing off my weird butt symptoms as "a weird Coeliac thing" and I went to my GP to book a colonoscopy.... Of course the date given to me is the day after my birthday. Needless to say I'll be relistening to this Ologies episode to get me through the prep. I am not looking forward to it.

Connie_cannot

Thank you for this. My sister recently told me to get myself a colonoscopy because my family history (just finding this out at the age of 44) and this will help ease my mind before I schedule my very own colonoscopy.

Erin

Thanks for this episode! I listened to it before my first colonoscopy to have a better idea of what to expect. Now that I’ve gone through my first one, I have a recipe for everyone! 2 packets Crystal Light lemonade powder (2 pitchers’ worth) mixed into the 4 liters of prep solution Then! For every 8 oz cup of solution, add 2 oz white grape juice. It makes the solution sooooo much more palatable! It is syrupy sweet, so next time I’ll experiment with less Crystal Light. High fives to everyone for taking care of yourselves. It is really not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, and you get an excellent nap out of the whole thing. 💛