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S01E05 The Haunting of Hill House

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I Am Not Chamari

Ugh the first time I watched this episode I was at a loss for words. I just felt so close to Nell and this episode was absolutely heartbreaking, To learn that Nell's own death was haunting her her entire life is such a tragedy, but also a phenomenal way to viscerally show the effects of depression, PTSD, psychosis and suicidal ideation. The house welcoming her home, telling her everything she's wanted to hear was sooo sinister knowing how it all ends and really helps illustrate how your mind when you're in such a severe state can betray you. And the way this still continues to catapult the rest of the series is crazyyyy I even noticed some things in the background I haven't noticed yet. And yes, there is still so much story to tell with the mom and the dad and what actually happened that night. And possibly what's going to happen in the present. I also have experience with sleep paralysis but I was really young and I don't think I knew that's what was happening to me until I watched this show like ten-fifteen years later. I fortunately didn't have the panic associated with it, but I do remember being "awake" and not being able to move for a couple of minutes. It's really a trip because you almost want to yell at your body to freaking move! It's wild when your mind wants to do something and your body can't comply. What I would get most of the time is the weight of someone on top of me. I didn't necessarily SEE things all the time, but it just felt like a creature was just laying on top of me holding me down. When I would see something, it almost looked like a werewolf, or just a hairy dark creature lol Very WEIRD. Other times, I would see things ahead of me like Nell, but it was a dark figure that never "revealed itself" And sometimes it was Michael Jackson lmao But for some reason, my Michael Jackson sleep paralysis demon never haunted me. I remember that it was basically him from the beginning of the "Beat It" music video, and he was honestly a weird but comforting presence. I know that others don't have a similar experience because a lot of my peers grew up terrified of that man lol Anyways, glad you enjoyed the ep haha - def one of my favorites of the series, although I pretty much rank episode 4, 5, 6 and 7 equally

I Am Not Chamari

Oh! The one thing I wanted to mention last week in connection to this week’s episode is that you were wondering why Luke was grabbing his neck like he did in the last ep… it’s because of how Nellie died It’s a twin thing :(