Life's a Drag - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

“Good afternoon South Haven!  It’s another suburban sunny afternoon this Friday,” the radio DJ blared on a passing stereo as Andrew walked the short way from the end of his block, where he always asked the bus driver to drop him off.  Andrew had few enough friends at school, and more than enough tormentors, that he preferred a little healthy paranoia, especially since, this being Friday, Andrew was about to fall off the face of the earth for a couple of days.

Like most weekends, Andrew’s father was in Los Angeles working a big new spread for his car magazine, Muscle Monthly.  South Haven was considered a suburb of Los Angeles, but particularly with North Haven - aptly named - sitting right between South Haven and the heart of the city, he wouldn’t be seeing him again ‘till Monday.  Plus today was a half-day.  Bonus!

He had no sooner gotten in the front door of the luxurious white two story with four car garage, when the transformation began.  “Dad?” he called as he walked into the kitchen first.  As expected there was a post-it on the clean stainless steel refrigerator door.  “Awesome,” he said with a smile and began messing up his shoulder blade-length blonde hair.  ‘Airing it out’ he called it, getting it ready to take a curl.

“Hi Danica,” he said in a distinctly female voice - for how much he’d been practicing it since his voice started to drop with puberty it had better - to the life-size poster of Danica Patrick on the near wall of his bedroom.  He had posters of all his favorite female racers - and a few of just their cars - all over the walls.  

Like any teenage girl, it took Sarah awhile to get ready to be herself.  The attention to detail that she gave herself was like any teenage girl, and when she was done, she smiled in the mirror.  “Hello sexy.”  She giggled.  She always called herself that to boost her ego.

Where Andrew was a closed-off, bookish geek with all the grace of an elephant, Sarah was poised, confident, and very outgoing.  She had been ‘being’ Sarah every free moment she could get ever since she could remember - which taken with the fact that her mother left when she was little, and her father had to work overtime to make up for it, left her with more time as Sarah than Andrew, all-told.

Even when her father Christopher could make it home for the evenings, he never noticed Andrew wearing Sarah’s clothes in passing - as Sarah hardly ever wore skirts, preferring comfortable shoes and practical jeans for her true passion of racing, although today she was rocking a skirt and a cute pair of 2” ankle boots.

South Haven was a racing town.  Living in South Haven meant either racing, or absolutely loving the races because once a month the local police went so far as to shut down all traffic in and out to turn the town into one giant raceway.  The actual races wouldn’t begin until Saturday, but unlike Andrew, ‘Sarah’ was an extremely popular face around town, and she had to make her rounds, so after she finished applying a layer of glitter cotton candy pink nail polish, she grabbed her purse.  

“Later Danica,” she giggled as she walked out of her bedroom and froze.  She could hear someone walking downstairs.

“Forgot my notes,” Christopher called from his drawing room slash office alcove.

“Oh, Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?” Sarah asked, trying to sound somewhat Andrewish, “I want to go to the mall.  I got this free gift card I want to use.”

“Sure sport,” Christopher called back.  “Key’s on the rack by the door.  Just drive safe,” he added without even poking his head out.

Sarah grinned, “I always do.” she almost giggled.  By the time he had everything he needed, Sarah was already out of the garage and on the street with the radio turned to the 60s, 70s and 80s classic rock radio station.

“Life is a highway.  I wanna ride it all night long,” she sang along as she put the top down and pulled her favorite sunglasses from the glove compartment at the stop sign at the end of her street.

As she approached a red light on the main road, a red headed teen girl pulled up next to Sarah.  “Good song!” she called over from her own convertible.  Sarah automatically recognized her from school.  it was Morgan Snider.

Morgan was one of the ‘populars’ around school, though through little effort of her own.  She just tended to be nice to everyone.  She also happened to be rich, though Sarah was a little surprised Morgan didn’t recognize her.  She had talked to Morgan - as Andrew - more than a few times, and they shared a passion for cars, though only a few people actually knew that.

“Isn’t it though!” Sarah called back with a grin as she reached over to pick up her “dinner for two” voucher - the one she just picked up in her last big race, and held it up.  “You hungry?  I’ve got a voucher for two and nobody to share it with.”

“Oh my gosh, hey you’re that girl who races, Sarah Angel, right?” She called over again.  “Sure!  Let’s meet up at the mall?”

Sarah laughed good-naturedly at Morgan’s recognition.  Unlike Andrew, who took a month to find the courage to really talk to Morgan, Sarah was extremely outgoing.  She treated life like she treated racing - drive hard and take every advantage you can: No risk, no reward.  

“Sure!” she called over the roar of her car’s engine as she gunned it just enough to startle the guy a few car lengths behind her, and then turned off into the parking lot of the South Clover Mall.  She stepped out, waiting for Morgan while raising the roof on her car and set the alarm as Morgan approached.

Morgan smiled and waved.  “I’ve been going to your races ever since I got dragged out by my kid brother.  You know I think you should have gotten first place on that last race.  I think the black car cheated,” she stated as she walked up to Sarah.

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Sarah nodded.  “I think he was using 12s under the hood, maybe a micro-Nox injector.  There’s no way he could bail out of turn 4 that fast otherwise.  You’d have to be a Jedi,” she teased, causing Morgan to giggle and relax a little.

“Wasn’t nox prohibited on that race anyway?” Morgan asked, “And where was it you wanted to have lunch?”

“Luckily we’ve got an in.  You know Isabella over at Martin’s Garage right?  She does all the inspections for all racers.  If she finds anything, it’s an auto-DQ and a six month ban,” Sarah said proudly as she reached into her purse, putting away her sunglasses.  Her eye makeup was a little heavier than usual, but she was feeling dramatic tonight.

“Let’s see,” she said, pulling out the voucher.  “I’ve got a dinner for two at Clover - that fancy dress place, or dinner for two at Olive Garden.  You’re Morgan, right?” she asked with a friendly smile.  Fortunately she knew a few of Morgan’s friends as Sarah, so it wasn’t as though she was outing herself.  She felt a little guilty though, not being able to tell her she was Andrew, but she liked to admit that fact as little as possible.

“Oh I don’t think we are dressed up enough for The Clover, soo Olive garden it is?” Morgan wasn’t surprised that Sarah knew her name, all her friends went to the races, and hung out with Sarah in the pit sometimes, even though Morgan was never brave enough to join them.  “So what school do you go to?  I’ve never seen you at South Haven High?”

“Oh,” Sarah said, having practiced her answer a hundred times or more in the mirror, and having used it so often she almost believed it herself, “I go to St. Catherine’s Girls’ Academy.”

“Oh gosh, those pleated skirt uniforms are to die for, I almost went there, turned it down because the public school’s got a shop program, and St. Catherine’s does not yet.”

“That’s the only downside,” Sarah giggled.  “Plus my Dad doesn’t really know how serious I am about racing, so I can’t really mod my car up too much yet.  I’m waiting for the right time to tell him.”

“That’s a beautiful Mustang.  Maybe you could take me for a ride in it sometime?” Morgan asked.  She felt guilty for flirting with Sarah because she really had a major crush on Andrew.  If only she knew...

“Oh sure!” Sarah answered right away and grinned.  “I promise not to go over 200,” she added jokingly as they reached the sidewalk.  Olive Garden was actually just behind the mall facing the street on the other side, so they could walk to it from there and still go shopping.

Morgan giggled, “And if you ever run into Andrew.. this boy I like, don’t tell him, I mean he would be devastated knowing I was hanging with you.” she sighed, she wished Andrew was more outgoing like Sarah was.

“Awww,” Sarah said, biting back her own distaste for Andrew for Morgan’s sake.  “Sometimes people can surprise you.  Besides, I’m not trying to steal you away from him,” she teased.  “I just hate wasting a two person voucher on myself.”

“Good because this guy at school, Kevin, has been trying hard to, and I keep turning him down hoping Andrew will ask me out sometime,” Morgan sighed as they walked up to the entrance.

“I will say upfront and honestly though, just so you know, I do like girls.  I gave up trying to hide it after like the 50th time someone asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend,” Sarah added honestly.

Morgan giggled, “I like girls and boys, but don’t tell anyone from my school please!” she said before they entered the restaurant.

“Now I wish I hadn’t said I wasn’t trying to steal you,” Sarah teased as they stepped inside and giggled.  “But a promise’s a promise.”

“You’re kidding right?” Morgan asked, and Sarah giggled again.

“Yes!  Jeez.  No, I really do hope your guy asks you out.  Some guys just can’t take a clue - whether you’re trying to get them interested, or get them off you,” she said honestly and smiled, giving Morgan a friendly hug, before they stepped up to be seated.

Morgan smiled, waiting until after they had their table to add, “Thanks Sarah.  I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve known you forever.  Sorry about the hero worship before.”

Sarah smiled softly and shook her head.  “Don’t worry about it.  if I ever met my hero I’d probably wet myself and die on the spot.”

“Who’s your hero?” Morgan asked trying not to giggle, “My hero is Christmas Abbott.”

“Oh, Danica Patrick is at the top of the list, but I also like watching Amber Cope’s races,” Sarah said as she looked over the menu.  She had never actually eaten here before, not out of dislike for the food so much as just never giving it any thought.

When the waiter showed up at the table Morgan smiled, “I’ll take the shrimp salad, with Caesar dressing.”

“I’ll start with the chicken alfredo and a side caesar salad?” Sarah said, adding, “Maybe some balsamic dressing.  I’m not a big salad eater normally,” she added sheepishly.

“Anything to drink?” The woman asked, smiling at them both.

“A coke please.”  Morgan smiled back.

“Same,” Sarah added.

“So you have aspirations of being a big racer like Amber Cope and Danica Patrick then?” Morgan asked as the waitress left.

“As long as I don’t have to do some lame GoDaddy commercial,” Sarah said, trying not to laugh.  “Not that they’re not totally hot though.  But yeah, there’s just nothing like pushing a car to the limit with the Gs pressing you against the seat on a hairpin turn with like six other people trying to beat you to the finish line,” she trailed off, giggling softly.  “Sorry.  I get carried away when it comes to racing.”

“It’s ok I get that way when talking about motors.” Morgan giggled, leaning on her hand for a moment.  “I want to be a professional mechanic.  My mom really hates that idea, but my dad is really supportive of it.  My uncle Ronnie too.”

“She’ll get used to it,” Sarah answered.

“I doubt it, my mom wants me to be some sorta Cheerleader who becomes a world famous dancer or something like that.” Morgan laughed.

“Oh God,” Sarah laughed, and then covered her mouth.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t laugh.  It’s just, I never really had an overbearing Mom figure in my life.  It’s just me and my Dad, usually just me.”

“That sucks.” Morgan frowned, “I mean despite my mom being pushy, I really do love her.”

“You should invite her to my next race tomorrow.  Then you can say ‘See, it could be worse.  I could be her!’,” Sarah giggled.  

“I might do that!” Morgan giggled out as the waitress returned.

~oOo~

After the two had finished eating, they went to the mall to do some shopping, “Girl bonding time.” Morgan teased as they hit the front entrance.

“I’m surprised - but thankful - that you didn’t give me the ‘I didn’t think you went shopping’ line,” Sarah teased back.  “I get that sometimes.  That because I’m into racing and dress like a boy on the track that I must hate shopping.”

“You don’t dress like a boy.  Those designer jeans you had on last Saturday were hot.  But I get that too.  Some people see me coming out of shop and think i'm a grease monkey girl who doesn’t like to shop too, but I’m like this uber shopper.  I can’t help it.” Morgan giggled.

Sarah laughed.  “I just tell ‘em ‘You try racing in a 3” heel and not break your ankle’.  But I guess that doesn’t work as well for you huh?” she teased.

Morgan laughed again and shook her head.  “Nope, but I do tell them that it's a pain in the butt to bend over a motor in a mini skirt.” she teased.

“Not to mention how many fingers the guys in shop would end up losing,” Sarah shot back, trying not to laugh.

A girl with purple dyed hair approached, “And how many of them would be nu-scootered coz Morgan wears steel toed boots.” she laughed.  “Hey Morgan, who’s your friend?”

“Oh hey Crystal!” Morgan said, giving the girl a friendly hug.  “This is Sarah.  Sarah this is Crystal, one of my BFFs from school.”

“Oh yeah, my dad George talks about you.” Crystal said suddenly, recognition dawning.  “You have a ton of racing potential he says.”

Sarah blushed, but only a little, and the rather large grin compensated for it as she nodded.  “So he keeps telling me.  I’d love to get my car into Isabella’s hands for a full custom job, but my Dad kind of doesn’t know how serious I am about racing yet.”

“You should so tell him!  I mean with Women Nascar drivers these days, he could only be proud you know.” Crystal giggled, “Me, however I’m into decoration myself.  Someday I’ll own my own home interior design company up in North Haven.”

Sarah had to bite back a laugh.  She had never pictured Crystal as the interior design sort, but then, Andrew barely knew her name.  “I have to admit you didn’t strike me as the type, but that’s actually really awesome.  The best I could do was patch up a crack in my wall paneling with an Amber Cope poster.”

“Thanks.  Maybe someday you’ll have me do your room for you?  I designed Morgan’s for her.”  Crystal grinned.

“Oh, I still have the pics on my phone,” Morgan said as she brought out her iPhone to show off Crystal’s work.  

“Oh, hey you guys don’t mind if my girlfriend Jenny joins us?” Crystal smiled as she spotted the dishwater blonde coming out of Payless.

“Not at all, but Sarah might try and steal her,” Morgan teased.  Sarah laughed.

“Will not,” she shot back.  “Well, maybe not,” she added, giggling again.

Jenny smiled as she approached giving Crystal a kiss, then turning to Sarah, “Hey Sarah, you going to be in tomorrow's races? I just got my entry fee for the straight mile run.”

“Jennybear!” Sarah said as she hugged her.  “You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.  Now I don’t feel so bad about turning all those guys down.”

Jenny laughed softly, “You never asked, but Crystal and I just started dating like three weeks ago too.”

“Oh, well that explains it,” Sarah giggled.  “Anyway, I’m down for the no nox marathon run.  I might do the quarter mile sprint for a warm up too.”

“The $100 entry allows you to enter them all doesn’t it?” Jenny asked.  “I usually just pay the $15 entry fee for the Mile straight run so I wouldn’t know for sure.”

“Yeah.  A lot of marathoners don’t bother because they’re too busy doing their good luck rain dances.  I just say ‘screw it’ and jump in,” she teased.  “Except, y’know, my lucky fuzzy dice.  Those never leave my car.”

Jenny grinned and turned to Crystal, “You going to watch me race tomorrow?” she gently took her hand too.

“You know it,” Crystal giggled as she squeezed Jenny’s hand.

“I’ll be there too.” Morgan chimed in.

Jenny laughed, “To cheer for you Sarah, like she always does.” she winked.  “I’m glad you two finally got together though.  I saw you going into Olive Garden.”

Morgan’s cheeks turned a shade or two redder, and Sarah laughed.  “It’s okay.  She’s got her eyes on a nice boy with a thick skull,” she teased.

“Andrew?” Crystal giggled, “She’s been crushing on that d-... guy since the 7th grade.”

“It’s okay,” Morgan giggled.  “You can say ‘dork’.  He does.  But he’s a sweet dork.”

Crystal nodded, “You know I should be nicer to him. I mean I’ve only talked to him three times, but he seems like an ok guy.  Definitely safe for my bff here.” she winked.

“Unlike me,” Sarah laughed mischievously and rubbed her hands together.  “I’m all sorts of dangerous.  Just ask Jenny,” she teased.

“Especially around corners, they clocked her doing about 160 around several,” Jenny laughed.

“Well, somebody once asked me, ‘What happens if you were in an accident and could never race again’,” Sarah said honestly, and then grinned.  “I told them, ‘Then that means I’d better enjoy racing today for all I can’.”

“Good quote.” Morgan giggled.

“Totally ripped that off ‘Turbo’, but it really inspired me,” Sarah giggled.

~oOo~

Morgan sighed as she read the text on her phone.  They were just coming out of the mall’s movie theater together on what Sarah would have considered a great date, and Morgan probably did, despite herself.  “I guess I have to take a rain check on that ride.  I have to go home and babysit my dorky little brother.”

“Aww, well, maybe tomorrow after I win?” Sarah teased.

“Sounds like a plan!” Morgan answered happily, giving Sarah a hug, then getting into her own car to head home.

Sarah sighed, “Guess it’s time to take my load home than and veg for awhile.” she said to herself as she put her shopping bags into her own car.  She had two phones - a plain pre-paid throwaway phone she used to take messages from her dad as Andrew, and an iPhone in blue that she used for racing contacts and Sarah’s friends.  As she pulled her seatbelt on, the iPhone beeped with a text message from Jenny.

‘Just wishin u luck @race 2morrow,’ with an attachment of herself and Crystal giving her the ‘V’ sign and grinning.  Sarah laughed.

‘Thanx Jennbear u 2 :)’ she texted back, and then started the engine.  Part of her wished she could wear the new floral skirt Morgan helped her pick out, but racing and skirts just didn’t go together.  She’d put it in the trunk to wear after the race though, even though it wasn’t a ‘date’.  Technically, their first date wasn’t really a date either, but if they were counting, tomorrow would be two.

“I hate you right now Andrew,” she sighed to herself.  “You get the cute girl, you’re covered.” she said to the rearview mirror.  “Why can’t I just tell her the truth?  And Dad for that matter?  I can’t run a good race until I get the tires balanced at least.”

She waved at her neighbors jogging by on the sidewalk as she pulled into the driveway.  Everyone on the block thought she was a girl anyway, so she stopped trying to sneak out as Sarah quite a while ago, although getting to races when she was still on her learner’s permit required some finagling about with Isabella’s help.  

Isabella was after all, like a surrogate mother to her even though Sarah never bought anything, just using her winning vouchers for any work on the car to keep it running. 

“Ah well,” she sighed finally, pulling into the garage.  “At least I get to be me all weekend.  Maybe I’ll put on my uniform skirt and snap some selfies to tempt Morgan with,” she laughed to herself.  “God, I’m stealing my own girlfriend,” she groaned as she shut off the engine, carrying her packages inside.

Christopher had left a second note, “Will be gone all weekend sorry sport, I left you four hundred dollar bills to eat out and rent some movies this weekend, sorry again. - love dad.”

“Nice!” Sarah squealed.  “$100 entry fee plus some extra spending cash.  Life is good,” she giggled out as she carried her shopping bags upstairs.  “Maybe after the races tomorrow, I’ll out myself to Doctor Snider, I mean my luck seems to be up now anyway!” 

“Hi Danica!  Guess who I ran into?” she giggled.  She knew the poster couldn’t talk back of course, but she had to tell someone.  “Morgan.  God I wanted to ask her out so bad!  But we had dinner at Olive Garden, and saw Inside Out.  They nailed SanFran.”  She sat down at her desk and checked herself in her small desk mirror.

“I think I will come out to my doctor tomorrow.  What do you think Danica?” she asked her poster’s reflection in the mirror as she brushed her hair.  “I’m just so tired of hiding, and Morgan is crushing on Andrew.  But if she finds out I’m Andrew, will that mean she likes me too?”  Sarah sighed. “You know Danica, Doctor Snider already knows about the growth from the anti-depressants, and It’s really starting to become a pain the butt hiding it as Andrew.  Binding freaking hurts!  If they get much bigger I won’t be able to hide them.”

The poster stared lifelessly back at her as she stood, setting her brush aside, but she smiled brightly.  “You know what?  Fuck it.  I’m going to do it.  I’m coming out tomorrow to Doctor Snider and maybe Morgan.  Thanks Danica.  I needed that,” she giggled.

The poster continued to look at her lifelessly, “Hell with it, maybe I should call in an emergency appointment today, I mean Doctor Snider said I could if I ever needed to right?”  She went for her Andrew phone and dialed the doctor's office. “Why wait till tomorrow, I mean it's only 5pm..”  the phone began to ring.

“Doctor Snider’s office,  Mary Beth speaking, can I help you?”  

Mary Beth was one of Sarah’s favorite office workers.  She wasn’t very old - 23 or 24, knew every client by name, and always had a good, positive attitude.

“Hi Mary Beth-” Sarah said brightly, paused, and cleared her throat, trying to sound more Andrewish, “ Sorry, had a frog in my throat.  Hi Mary Beth.  This is Andrew Miller?”

“Oh Hi Andrew, Doctor Snider has an appointment with you tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, about that, I know this is short notice, but is there any way I could see her tonight, even just for a couple of minutes?  It’s kind of important.”

“Sure she's got a 5:30 opening, someone just called and canceled.” Mary Beth answered.  “So you’ll have from 5:30 till the office closes.” she teased.

“Oh that’s perfect!  I mean, um, that’s great.  Thanks so much.  Um, is there anyone else around?  I know that’s a weird question but, really there’s something I have to show Doctor Snider rather than tell her.  It’s hard to explain over the phone,” she said, letting a stray giggle escape.  She was too excited to not go as Sarah.

“Nope just me and the doc sweetie, and she stepped out for a break for a moment, but she’ll be here when you get here.”  Mary Beth knew something was up, and had even guessed Andrew was transgendered, but never said anything.  Her niece was too, and she saw a lot of the same signs in Andrew, but she knew it wasn’t her place to say.

“Thanks so much.  I’ll be there soon,” she said, and squealed as she hung up the phone.  “Danica I’d hug you if it wouldn’t tear you!” she giggled.  She rushed back to her mirror to check that her hair looked okay, and quickly touched up her lip gloss before heading out the door.