Life's a drag - Chapter 2 (Patreon)

“Suddenly,” Sarah said as she looked herself over in her rear view mirror, “I don’t feel so vindictive anymore, Andy boy,” she giggled.  “You’re me, but I don’t have to be you anymore after tonight...  I hope not anyway,” she sighed.  She had been sitting outside the small office for the better part of five minutes now when she heard someone gently knock on her window, causing her to jump.

Doctor Snider never looked her age.  Although in her late 30s, she looked no older than her 20s, which taken with her Latin American heritage and trim figure made her rather attractive.  She smiled as Sarah rolled the window down, “I was expecting a boy named Andrew, Unless you're his ride; is he inside?”

Sarah laughed as she stepped out of the car, and uncharacteristically for Andrew, gave her a hug.  “Hi Doctor Snider,” she said in her best Andrewish voice.

“Andrew?” Doctor Snider said, surprised.  “Well this is a total surprise.  Come inside.”

“I had a life-changing realization tonight,” Sarah sighed, not even waiting until they were inside to start talking.    

“I’ve actually ‘been’ Sarah for as long as I can remember, I just kept her separate from school, but... I’ll wait until we’re comfortable because this could take awhile,” she giggled out, waving at Mary Beth as they passed her.  Mary Beth stopped, turned, and blinked, trying to remember who the pretty girl with Doctor Snider was.

“Ok Sarah, please have a seat.” Doctor Snider said, smiling as she sat down as well, “And start from the beginning?” she asked, though she had had strong suspicions for quite awhile, and now was beginning to mentally kick herself for not breaching the subject, herself.

She couldn’t help noticing, though, that when Sarah moved and sat, she seemed very comfortable and natural, compared to Andrew’s usual almost robotic, forced movements.  Sarah was very open and relaxed, except for her crossed legs of course, where Andrew tended to be very closed in and hunched over.

Sarah began from as early as she could remember, when her mother left, which wasn’t so much a turning point of losing a female role model - although it was that too - as it was the first time Sarah had any freedom to truly be herself comfortably.  She went on to talk about how often she had been out as Sarah, including racing on weekends since she was 14 as ‘Sarah Angel’, and finishing with the mall trip earlier that same day, and dinner with her friend Morgan.

“So you're basically telling me, you’ve been doing the real life test this whole time, without anyone to monitor you?” Doctor Snider asked.  She didn’t mention that Morgan was her daughter and because Andrew had never been over to Morgan’s house, Sarah had no idea other than that they shared a last name, which seemed pretty common to her mind.

“I know I should have told you about all this a long time ago..” Sarah sighed.

Doctor Snider nodded, “Well actually, I’ve had a hunch for a very long time Sarah.  Remember that personality test I had you take a few years ago?”

Sarah laughed a little.  “I do actually, mostly because it had some questions that were repeated.  I remember thinking how weird that was.”

“Ok, well I want you to take another one.  This one is online.  Can you do that for me?” Doctor Snider asked, passing  Sarah a tablet that was set to a web page.

“Sure,” Sarah answered as she took the tablet and stylus.  She took a moment to get more comfortable, and then set right to work, taking her time where she was told to by the questionnaire, and answering with a ‘gut’ response where it told her to do that instead.

“When your done, go ahead and push send, and poke your head out to tell  me, I have to make some calls really fast,” Doctor Snider said as she stood.  Sarah glanced up and smiled at Doctor Snider, nodding before she returned to the test.

“Sorry Amy,” Mary Beth said as Amy Snider emerged.  “Andrew’s still a no show.”

“Actually, Andrew is in my office right now, taking a GiD test,” Doctor Snider answered, suppressing a small chuckle.  “Can you get me Doctor Small’s number please?” Amy asked as Mary Beth took a moment to hide her shock, and then nodded and wrote down a phone number for Amy.

“I just can’t believe that’s Andrew,” Mary Beth giggled a little as she handed over the number and then went back to her computer desk.

Amy dialed Doctor Small’s number, “Hey Alice, this is Amy.  Are you busy right now?”  She shot Mary Beth a brief smile.  As her personal assistant her doctor patient confidentiality extended, at least somewhat, to Mary Beth.  Mary was also Alice’s niece.  She only worked at the practice part time to pay for college.

“Not at all Amy,” a soft-spoken, cheerful female voice answered.  “I just finished an early dinner and some errands.  What can I do for you?”

“I’ve got a patient on the standardized that’s been doing the real life test since she was young.  When she’s done, my tablet will forward the results to you.  I want you to have a look at the answers for me?  I already had her do a paper version, once before.”.

“Sure, I’d be happy to,” Alice replied cheerfully.  “How has her RLT gone?  Anything worth mentioning?”

“She’s much happier as a girl then as a boy, that much I can say, she's not on blockers or hormones yet, but she takes anti-depressants, and has a prescription for Iron supplements.  She's IDA.”

“Oh dear,” Alice trailed off.  “I wouldn’t be surprised if the depression is a direct result of her GID.  But more worrisome is the double whammy of the pills and the iron supplement.”

“Some, as well as the fact that her mother left her at a young age.” Amy stated, “The problem is, if we don't get her on blockers and hormones and out her to her school soon, she’ll be outed anyway, due to growth from the anti-depressants and the iron pills.”

“That’s what I was afraid of as well,” Alice sighed.  “Risperdal is being almost universally panned by the ambulance chasers after it was found to cause gynecomastia in boys, and taken with the iron supplement too...”

“Unfortunately, Risperdal seemed to work really well for her, otherwise I'd have changed her prescription a while ago.” Amy agreed, adding, “The reason for the call, was to get your opinion before I write her the script though.  I actually have tickets to watch her race tomorrow, as Sarah Angel,” Amy laughed.

“Oh, it’s coming through now.  Let me take a look,” she said.

Sarah poked her head out of the door, “I’m done Doctor Snider.”

“Ok, I’ll be right in, in one moment,” she said, accepting the tablet from Sarah.  Sarah smiled and turned to step back inside as Amy continued, “What do you think Alice?”

Alice laughed softly, “Strong female tendencies.  I’m surprised you didn’t do anything for her sooner Amy.”

“I’ve wanted to say something, but she’s never brought it up, and with her mother issues on top of it, I didn’t want her thinking I was accusing her of imprinting herself, but... you’re right.”

“True, I’ll agree with your recommendations, you might have to talk to her parent, to get a lawyer for the school, but other then that, I don’t see why she can’t be a girl full time.” Alice stated.

“Especially since she’s been out and about, and quite popular apparently.  Both my receptionist and my daughter - especially my daughter - have seen her race,” Amy chuckled.  “She called and informed me she bought me a ticket just this afternoon.”

“Can you fax me her files, so I can have a better look as well, so you can have a second opinion if the courts get pissy?” Alice laughed.

“Sure thing.  I’ll have Mary Beth send everything over, and then I’ll send you my notes from tonight’s session after I talk with her about going forward with HRT.”

“Ok, it’s kinda late, but I can recommend that she goes to Doctor Johnson for a blood workup and her first shot.  I know he's not busy right now.  I’m looking in his office right as we speak.” Alice laughed.

“Should we get her Dad’s signature before we start her on a booster though?”

“You have all that on file right?” Alice asked

“I have his permission to treat her as I see fit,” Amy sighed, “But I worry.  My husband is his lawyer, and I’d hate for him to have to sue me.  Maybe I should just call and talk to him?”

“Then I don’t think you need his signature, if you believe this is the best course of action,” Alice stated, “You can talk to your husband first, but I think he’ll agree.”

“Thanks Alice.  Part of the reason I called you is because I knew you’d be a neutral party.”

“No problem.  Oh, I guess Mary Beth sent over her file?  It’s an interesting read so far.  I’ll call you later this week when I’m done ok?”

Amy hung up her phone and inhaled deeply.  “This is the right course of action.  I’m sure of it,” she said to herself, not realizing Mary Beth was right behind her.

“I agree.  Want me to go tell her that it will be just a few more minutes while you call your husband?” she asked, smiling helpfully.

“No, I’ll brace him when he gets home this weekend.  I’ve made poor Sarah wait long enough,” Amy said, almost giggling.  “She really is so much happier now though,” she said thoughtfully.

“Oh Amy, I’m not a doctor yet, but I’ve seen the difference in just the few moments I saw her.  Andrew is like dead inside, but this girl that came in was full of life.” Mary Beth said.

“I agree.  I might even cut her anti-depressants next week if I see enough of an improvement.  But I’ll have to speak with Doctor Johnson after he’s finished her blood work.”

Sarah was sitting patiently, playing a quick game of Angry Birds in-between texting.  Jenny had given Morgan her number, and they were texting back and forth about nothing-important.  ‘Got 2 go 4 now good luck w/babysitting!’ Sarah quickly typed, and then put her phone away as Doctor Snider approached.

“I see Sarah also has a lot of friends, which is good.”  

Sarah giggled a little.  “Yeah.  Jenny and I both race, and I have like ten thousand followers on twitter, but I don’t count those as ‘friends’ really.  Plus Jennbear gave my number to Morgan.”

“So I have good news for you,” Amy said as she sat down again.  “I just made you an appointment at Doctor Johnson’s for some quick lab work and maybe a booster shot on recommendations from a colleague of mine.  So you know what HRT is, right?”

“Something to do with horseradish?” Sarah asked innocently.

Doctor Snider laughed, “No, Hormone Replacement Therapy.   We are going to get you going as a girl.” she said.

“Oh!  Wait...” Sarah paused, mouthing the words to herself.  “As in, like, girl puberty and stuff?  OHMYGOD!” she squealed.  “Seriously?!”

“Well, you’re almost 16 years old now, but I know you’ve mentioned in the past that your breasts are growing and getting harder to hide, but you’ve rejected surgery as an option, so if we don’t intervene soon, your body will intervene for you.  You’re only ‘Andrew’ at school, right?”

“Yeah.  And Andrew’s a nobody who won’t be missed.  What do I have to do?” Sarah asked excitedly.

“Well I need you to go see Doctor Johnson, so he can do a lab work up on you, and determine what and how much to give you for a booster, and script you some blockers and hormone pills.” Doctor Snider laughed.  Sarah couldn’t help herself.  She practically leapt from the chair and hugged Doctor Snider again.

“I want to see you again next week,” Doctor Snider added.  “You’re almost out of Risperdal aren’t you?” she asked.

“Yeah.  I’m down to my last one today actually.  I forgot to take it.  I was just so excited for Friday to be over,” she trailed off.

“That’s good, actually,” Doctor Snider replied.  “Because I’m going to cut your dosage back.  I want to see how you do over the next week, and then we’ll go from there.  But I have to warn you - HRT is going to mess with your head,” she said honestly.  Sarah laughed.

“If I can take Dead Man’s curve doing 140, I can handle a few nightmares,” she said with a grin, letting on that that horse radish joke really was just a joke.

Amy laughed, “Ok Sarah, I know it's going to be hard, but next meeting can you come as Andrew one more time?”

“I don’t know if I can,” Sarah answered honestly.  “Can I dress like Andrew, not wear makeup and not do anything with my hair?  Yes.  I don’t know if I can ‘be’ him again though, after finally letting the genie out of the bottle.”

“Well I want you to try at least for the next meeting.” Amy answered, “It’s for evaluation purposes.  Ok you better go see Doctor Johnson before he calls you a no show.” she said, and gave Sarah directions on a piece of paper that Mary Beth had helpfully printed out right to her office printer.

“I guess it won’t be any different than school,” Sarah sighed.  “I’ll try.  Thanks again Doctor Snider,” she said as she picked up her purse, moving a little more slowly now as she tried to put the thought of being Andrew out of her mind.  She dreaded it, and already wished she had taken that last pill before leaving the house.

“Oh yeah, also bring a set of Sarah’s clothes too.” Amy added as Sarah started to leave.

“Oh!” Sarah perked up a little.  “Sure thing.” 

~oOo~

Inside the large clinic Sarah approached the front desk, “I have an appointment to see Doctor Johnson; my therapist Doctor Snider called it in?”

The receptionist looked up at Sarah, and then down at the clipboard in front of her, and then up at Sarah again, smiling professionally.  “Yes, of course.  Just fill out this form while I go and let him know you’re here,” she said warmly as she handed over another clipboard for Sarah.  The other woman, once the receptionist had left, laughed softly.

“Don’t feel too weirded out by that look you got, sweetie.  I’ve seen it before - it means she couldn’t believe you’re here for HRT blood work.”

“Oh?  Why’s that?” Sarah giggled a little as she filled out the paperwork.

“She’s still new here.  She hasn’t quite gotten used to the fact that not all girls like us look this good.”  She winked.

“Oh wow,” Sarah giggled again.  “I hope you don’t mind me saying that I couldn’t tell until you said that.”

The woman chuckled, “I had to look at your name on the clipboard, to tell, if that makes you feel any better about yourself Sarah.”

“So I guess you work here too?” Sarah asked.  She glanced down and flipped a page, continuing to fill out the requisite information.

“Kind of.  I’m Doctor Alice Small.  I have an office on the left wing.  I usually deal with teens myself,” she said.  “I’m your second opinion,” she added with a wink, as the receptionist came back.

“Doctor Johnson’s waiting for you, room 106.” she said, adding “If you're not done filling that out you can take it with you.”

“Just finished actually,” Sarah said cheerfully as she handed the clipboard and pen back to the receptionist.

Alice waved as Sarah walked by her, “Good luck sweetie.  Want me to come help you find it?”

“Thanks.  I haven’t had any kind of injection since I was like 12,” Sarah giggled as she followed the hallway a short way to room 201.  

A few moments after Sarah entered room 106, a younger male entered the room, in his late 20’s early 30s, he smiled at Sarah, “You must be An.. Sarah right?”

“I almost went with Andrea, but even back then that seemed too obvious,” Sarah giggled, breaking the tension of the doctor’s almost-misstep.

“Well I have a fax from Doctor Snider, and a typed Letter from Doctor Small here, saying that you need some blood work, and maybe a booster?” Doctor Johnson asked.

“Yeah.  I forgot to ask Doctor Snider how my Risperdal and Iron supplements would interact with that.”

“Actually there's been no bad cases as of yet with people on either of those, with hormone replacements, however I need to have my nurse come and draw some blood so I can get my lab to run the tests as fast as possible.” he winked at Sarah.

“I really appreciate that you’re all working late for me,” Sarah giggled.

“Actually, I’m kinda new to the office, so I pull the last shift, so being here late isn’t anything unusual for me, and the lab guys are here really late anyway.” Doctor Johnson laughed, as he left the room, a few moments later a Redheaded girl in her mid twenties came in.

“Ready to get some blood drawn?” she asked as she first retrieved a blood pressure cuff.

“Do I get a cookie?” Sarah teased.

“Actually we give lollipops cutie.” The nurse giggled and teased back.

“I actually haven’t had anything like this done since I was 12, and that was just my immune booster stuff.  I just know when my friend Jenny donated blood she had to eat something to keep from getting really dizzy.”

The nurse took Sarah’s blood pressure first and marked it down, “Seems normal.” she said as she removed the cuff. “Ok I need you to relax your arm.” she pulled out the needle that she was going to use to draw blood, “These new needles make it easier to take blood, so  it should be quick and painless,” she said as she tied off Sarah’s arm with an elastic band, and then rubbed down an area with alcohol.

Before Sarah knew it, the nurse had finished and put a cute, Barbie pink band-aid on the spot.  “All done,” she said as she offered Sarah a large jar full of lollipops.

“Wow, that was fast,” Sarah said as she picked out a lime green one.

“Told you.  You can rest here for a minute if you need to,” the nurse said as she took the blood and the jar with her.

What seemed like forever went by when Doctor Johnson came back into the room.  Sarah was texting away again, but put her phone away quickly.  “Sorry about the wait.” he said, holding up a folder.  “I just got your lab work back.”

“Any bad news?” Sarah asked cheerfully.

“Other than you have the expected lower Testosterone levels due to Gynecomastia?” Doctor Johnson laughed, “Which we already knew, since your regular doctor had it on file.”

“Something else I forgot to ask Doctor Snider,” Sarah sighed.  “She warned me that this was going to mess with my head, but it didn’t occur to me until literally just now.  I have a huge race tomorrow.  I’m supposed to be entering the South Haven Grand Prix 250 circuit.  Should I postpone until next month?”

“Actually you should be fine, it can take up to 72 hours to take effect.” Doctor Johnson stated, forgetting that he had to give her a bigger dose which could change it to 24 - 48 hours.

“Oh, good.  I’m nervous enough already,” Sarah giggled.

“Even if it kicked in before hand, it just really mostly messes with patients’ emotional levels, just like a girl when she's having her period.” Doctor Johnson stated.

Sarah laughed a little.  “Oh, well I guess that’s okay.”

~oOo~

Sarah walked into Walgreens to renew her Anti-depressants and to get her new scripts that Doctor Johnson had given her, when she ran into Crystal and Jenny who were just entering as well.

“Wow, twice in one day,” Jenny teased.  “Uh oh.  Sarah’s been to the doctor,” she added more ominously.  Sarah had forgotten to take off the Barbie pink band-aid on her arm.

Crystal giggled softly, “Don’t worry, I forget to take mine off all the time too.  What brings you here? I have to get my script filled for birth control..” she trailed off, a little ashamed that she had to take birth control to balance her hormone levels out.

Sarah debated whether to lie to her friends or to tell them the truth, but only for a moment.  She was tired of lying, tired of being sneaky about who she really was.  She smiled brightly.  “Well, promise you won’t tell Morgan until after I’ve had a chance to talk to her okay?”

“Tell Morgan what?” Jenny asked.

“Exactly,” Sarah giggled.  “I want to tell her myself.  I didn’t mean to lie to her today - or to you.  We ran into each other on the way to the mall, and... Well,” she sighed.  “Okay, don’t scream, But I’m actually Andrew, and um i’m going through the process to become a girl.”

Crystal grinned and hugged her.  “You go girl!” she giggled as did Jenny.

“Wow,” was all Jenny could get out between giggles.  “You look so... different.  Not just the makeup and junk.  I mean literally like a whole different person.”

Crystal nodded, “As Sarah you’re not so dead looking, or acting.” she giggled softly.

“Yeah, exactly,” Jenny said as she nodded.  “I mean no offense, but Andrew is like terrified of Kevin, but I know I saw you as Sarah put him in his place just last weekend.”

“Kevin’s a punk who thinks he knows everything about racing.” Sarah giggled.

“Ohh so that’s why he comes in behind your tailpipe every time he races you,” Crystal giggled out this time.

“Anyway, since you guys know the truth now, after I talk to Morgan I was thinking we could get together next weekend and see what you could do with my room.”.

Crystal grinned, “Sure.   Sleepover at Sarah’s!” she announced, which caused Jenny to laugh

“We’ll finally see where Sarah lives - the ever elusive Racer Z.” Jenny teased.

Sarah burst out laughing at that.  “Yeah, I’ll text you my home address tonight.  Do you think I should go over to see Morgan tonight or wait until I actually know what I’m going to say?”

“You best think it through girl.  I mean she's been jonesing for you since the 7th grade,” Jenny giggled.  “She might just take a monkey wrench up the side of your head for taking her out to lunch and a movie without telling her then.”

“Yeah,” Sarah sighed.  “And I did so flirt with her over dinner, not even meaning to.  It’s like I said to myself earlier - I talk to myself a lot by the way,” she giggled again.  “I’m like, stealing my girlfriend from myself.”

Jenny shook her head, “I talk to my teddy bears a lot, but you really should just talk to us when you need to talk, you have our numbers.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  I kind of have a ‘date’ with her tomorrow.  She asked if I’d give her a ride in my Mustang sometime, so I promised her after the big circuit race tomorrow.”

“Awww,” Jenny giggled.  “I’m surprised she hasn’t called us yet to ask if she should give up on Andrew-” she trailed off as Morgan’s ringtone sang out.

“Okay, that’s just spooky,” Crystal laughed.