One Shot Wednesdays -Jensen, the Loser, and I (Patreon)

Gif credit to drabblewithfrannybarnes on tumblr

So last week I re-watched one of my favourite films The Losers (2010) and an OC slightly self-insert character came to mind for me in a couple of brief scenes that could take place in a potential (PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME I mean US) sequel... I wrote them down and added in a couple more to make what I hope is a fun and interesting one-shot narrative. If it's not oh well I guess she was slightly self-indulgent thus her purpose has been achieved in imaginging her.

But hopefully you like this one anyway! For those of you who don't know (or don't remember) The Losers is about an elite team of special forces that works together and each have their role to play in regards to their ops: communications, transportation, sharp-shooter, etc. and they've nicknamed their team 'The Losers'. I don't mention all of the team members by name in this one, I've realized, and their roles don't really come into play so if you're wondering who is who just head to Google and/or watch the film haha! Oh and these Losers are not to be mistaken with 'The Losers Club' which I also love from the recent It movies ;)

-Britt xoxo

I thought I could feel Jensen’s breath along my back. We were sleeping side-by-side in the double bed and my back was to him as I lay uncomfortably and nervously on my right side attempting to drift off to sleep. But then, I thought I felt him facing me, close, breathing softly there. I tensed up.

“You okay?” came his voice from further away. He was, in fact, turned away from me still too. The surprise of hearing his voice like that made me tense even more.

“Yeah,” I lied.

“Seriously: what’s wrong?”

“I’m not used to sleeping on my side,” I confessed after agonizing moments of debating telling the truth or not.

“So don’t.”

I exhaled in amusement. “No it’s okay. I’m used to like having no one beside me so at least if I sleep like this I know I won’t disturb you or bump into you during the night.”

There was a brief pause as he considered. “What: do you do like karate in your sleep?”

I had to laugh softly. “No, not that I know of.”

“So then what’s the problem? Sleep how you’re comfortable. You need the rest.”

“I know but I...” I trailed off shyly, “I just don’t want to wake you up if I move a leg or something.”

“It’s fine,” Jensen promised me and I felt him roll over to face me, “Please just get comfortable. If it gets bad I’ll make other arrangements in the tub.”

“Oh God!” I cried softly in alarm, “No you don’t have to do that!”

I could hear a smile in his voice as he told me, “I’ve slept in worse places. The tub here would be like a comfortable dream.”

I too rolled over. “Jensen I don’t want it to come to that,” I told him with embarrassment creeping into my cheeks. I was happy for the dark around us so he couldn’t see my cheeks hot with blushing.

Why I was so embarrassed and blushing now was a bit of a mystery to me. Earlier the two of us had been forced to shower together due to limited hot water and the definite need for both of us to be cleaned up for tomorrow. We’d gone back to back then too and taken turns turning around to rinse things off.

The entire situation had been planned like a military operation—which in some respects it was. We would both get in and begin soaping up and then take turns turning around to rinse things quickly and efficiently before the water ran out. We’d only been allowed one token for our stay tonight and had been told that even if we had more the water would not be heated up again till morning. We had to take what we’d been given and at the time I hadn’t really minded one bit.

I trusted Jensen and for some reason had felt comfortable around him within minutes of meeting him only two short days ago. I felt like we’d known each other forever—like he was a long-lost brother or cousin. So the idea of having to share a small space like a shower with him didn’t bother me especially because I knew that we both understood we’d have to just get in, wash up, and be done. And we had.

“Turning!” I announced, quickly moving to rinse my pits and chest then returning to face away from him.

As Jensen announced that he was going to be getting a vehicle for us tomorrow morning and would be bringing it around to the front of our accommodations I began to wash my face quickly as I listened to the plan. “I think bringing the vehicle around to the back will draw too much attention by being memorable,” he stated, “What do you think?”

Unable to answer with soap on my face, I turned and rinsed off.

“Oh!” I heard and then it hit me that I hadn’t announced I was turning around. I was mortified and apologized immediately as I swung myself back around, soap getting into my mouth and a little in my eyes as I at once tried to right myself and the situation.

“It’s fine,” he answered, also turned back around it seemed. “I didn’t see anything I promise.”

The way he’d said it seemed so firm and so not up for debate that I believed him. I’d also had my hands up to my face helping wipe the suds before I’d realized my mistake so maybe my bent arms had managed to obscure view of my naked chest anyhow. Such was my hope.

Maybe that moment was what had prompted me not to want to disturb his sleep tonight by having us touch in any way. Subconsciously I didn’t want us to make contact because I was still mortified I’d potentially exposed myself to him during the shower. Yeah, actually, that was it. In realizing this, I now had to decide what I wanted to do to internally resolve my discomfort about all this.

But Jensen’s voice broke through my thoughts in the dark: “Hey. How do you normally sleep?”

“Oh, uh...on my stomach. Sometimes one of my legs lifts—er bends slightly. And sometimes I switch sides of where my head is facing so my legs also switch. I don’t want to bump you,” I explained.

“I see,” was his response. “Look though I really don’t think it’s going to be that big of a deal. Get comfortable. Fall asleep and get your rest. I’ll sleep lying away from you and if your leg does in fact touch my leg so be it. I may think you’re a rat or large creepy-crawly, yes, but I promise I won’t jump out of the bed or scream out. Actually, I can’t promise not to scream out,” he reasoned in amusement and it made me momentarily chuckle and feel at ease before I worried further. My partner however wasn’t going to take my fears and let me feel them for long. “If you’re that worried about it let’s put a barrier: a pillow or the blanket where I sleep on top and you underneath. But really I swear to you you’re not going to disturb me or wake me up by sleeping comfortably like you like to. So please, let’s sort this out and sleep. Long day ahead.”

I took a deep breath in and sighed. He was right. Feeling too guilty and self-conscious still to make his suggested adjustments I just got comfortable on my stomach under the covers and he went back to sleeping facing away from me; eyes and ears pointed at the door.

Having gotten the good rest that was needed for the both of us, the next day went fairly smoothly as we attempted and succeeded in rendezvousing with his team and I realized late in the afternoon I’d forgotten all about my awkwardness of the evening before. Jensen for his part hadn’t said a word or hinted at any sort of discomfort either. Bless him.

I could feel the keen look of Cougar’s eyes upon us both that evening —no doubt sizing up whether the platonic relationship that I’d shared with his teammate only two days before had been broken— but he seemed to determine what I was starting to feel again which was that there would never been anything other than a mutual familial and non-romantic connection between Jensen and I. We were fast friends and worked well but we were kindred souls in the way of how twins could play off one another and share things without words. We could banter like siblings too but it was all in good fun.

Even those couple of flirty, but immensely cheesy, quips that Jensen had aimed at me in the opening hours of meeting one another had been rebuffed with amusement and eye-rolling on my part and he’d taken the rejection with laughter and humbled embarrassment at my joshing in return. I’d come to learn he tried those things on a lot of women (sometimes not even on purpose) and in every instance except the one between us he’d kick himself for the awful lines that came out of his mouth.

“You’ll get the hang of it one day,” I encouraged on our fourth day of working together as I pat him on the shoulder consolingly. “Besides, now you have me for advice and in your earpiece if there’s a particularly lovely lady we come across. I will help the hopeless. It’s my life’s calling,” I stated and he chuckled and shrugged knowing I meant it in more than just a trying to get him a date capacity. I actually did do good things in the world.

We all did: the members of ‘The Losers’ and I. It was how we met and how we’d keep our connection long after our first mission working side-by-side was long over.

I could never bring myself to call myself a ‘Loser’ even when years later I was still alongside the group in almost all of their operations. “You guys came up with the name long before me,” I argued, “Either I am an honorary side-member that joins in your Losers’ missions or we come up with a new team name altogether. Taking on your team name doesn’t feel right to me.”

“Why because the title of ‘Loser’ doesn’t suit you, loser?” Jensen jabbed at me with a shit-eating grin.

“Considering how many times I have won over you at cards I’d have to agree with that,” I shot back.

Pooch agreed with me. Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Do you really...mean it when you say you don’t want to be a Loser?” Jensen asked me later that night as we shared a single bed together instead of sending one of us to the floor with a blanket. By now we were comfortable and close enough with one another that I could easily sleep with one leg curled across his and my head against his chest or shoulder as he lay on his back. In this way a single mattress was no problem and had been a huge help on many missions when space was limited.

“I just feel weird being called a member of your original team,” I answered, “I’m not an original member. You guys were together for over a decade before I came along. It just seems... I dunno... uncomfortable. It’s not that I don’t want to be, I promise. I guess I just don’t think I deserve the honour. I look up to you guys and the team’s accomplishments long before I was involved.”

Jensen was, to my surprise, silent. I sat up a bit to look at him expecting that he’d fallen asleep as I was also ready to do but was mistaken as his eyes connected with mine. He hadn’t yet removed his glasses (why he still wore those round lenses though they were terribly out of fashion was anyone’s guess at this point) and he looked seriously at me. “You’re as much a member of this team as anyone. We all think it. We all feel it.”

I smiled shyly and lay back down against him, yawning and feeling at ease.

“So if you don’t start calling yourself a ‘Loser’ we’ll just have to kick you out,” Jensen went on.

“He’s right you know!” Pooch called out from somewhere nearby in the darkness.

I smiled, feeling warmed by their words. “Alright fine. I’m a Loser.”

“Don’t you dare put yourself down. This is a put-down free zone,” Jensen declared from beneath me and I punched his ribs which earned an ‘oof!’ followed by groaning and soft laughter.

“I’m a member of the team. I’ll stop fighting it,” I amended softly, eyes now heavy as I accepted both my exhaustion and my place on this team.

“This is my fight song! My take back my life song—!” Jensen sang out in a high falsetto.

“Shut up Jensen!” both Aisha and Pooch called out simultaneously.

I fell asleep listening to the sound of his laughter rumbling in his chest.

It was nice to feel like I was where I belonged: in the arms of my best friend surrounded by our wonderful team; our family of ‘Losers’.