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Sad Boyz Nightz #129 - "Jarvis's London Confrontation" (Patreon)

Published:
2025-09-05 21:36:28
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Plus, an in-depth discussion on dealing with passive-aggressive texters.

Also, a rant about airport behavior.

Main Episode

Files

Comments

Christine Gilfrich

“We’re just gonna put it at the beginning because that might be what people are coming for.” You know your audience so well 🤣

garbobarge

Omg I relate so much to what Anastasia said. It’s such a pet peeve of mine.

garbobarge

Like don’t over offer to help if you can’t. You don’t need to if you genuinely can’t. But don’t offer in that case!!!!

Aled

unfortunately the confrontation exchange that happened is how an enemies to lovers fanfic that I would absolutely read would begin 💔

Kir!

This is helping me cope cause my cat is sicky, thank yall 🫡

Sisi 77

jordans thing about acknowledging the difference between progressive ideas of what social norms *should* be vs what they actually are is something I think about all the time dude. I esp think about it a lot in the context of body positivity/sex positivity in situations where it's like. should women being topless be more sexual and taboo than men? no! that still doesn't mean if a woman is topless it won't be read that way in our culture though, and people need to acknowledge those kind of realities to have realistic conversations about certain things

Greg Goober

This episode made me realize I need to see Jarvis go sicko mode and become the joker.

Leticia

Am I nice? Yeah. Am I kind. For sure. But the thing with my adhd is that fighting is FUN. although its rare, when confrontation arises i get to use a part of my brain I don't get to use often. I am anxious, depressed, and borderline nihilistic. Please give me a reason to pop off and have a dopamine explosion. My body CRAVES IT!

Law

it’s validating to know that jarvis shared the exact same petty as me

fleshparty

if anything will ever improve, we've got to take anti-social personality disorders seriously, without making fun of people suffering from it. otherwise all we accomplish is teaching the next generation of people with antisocial disorders how to adapt. its crazy to me how we can recognize the manfucatured nature of 'male loneliness' (personally i dont believe for a second it only affects males, theyre just the valuable demographic) yet make fun of male hugging/wrestling workshops. do you want to meet people where theyre at or not? you cant pick and choose, then still try to ride the ethical lane.

Wyke Reed

Jarvis almost let out his hidden Floridian on the false roadman

fleshparty

like im not clueless on the fact that social cues just go way over my head. but after listening to this episode, i genuinely wanted to cry because many of the 'passive aggresssive' things pointed out, are literally things ive been told to do, like checkin in with people to make sure plans were still on, because for some reason, its not 'cool' to remember you made plans with someone and not having an exciting life where all sorts of shit happens to distract from remembering plans is a personal failing on my part, i dont get out enough or i dont have enough friends and rely on the ones i do have to keep their word is being 'too extra' but at the same time, men shouldnt feel insecure about being vulnerable. the doublespeak and contradictions are mind boggling. you gotta be sincere but not care, be genuine but dont give TMI, dont be afraid to show affection but only in these specific scenarios, in these particular ways. anything else means youre insecure, so we'll point and laugh

Wyke Reed

They say to leave the bins at the airport because they stack themselves at the end of the thing lowkey, at least in ATL they even have a sign that says not to stack them.

Melissa Bennett

It's unethical to charge people for it, or to offer it as a replacement for therapy. It's not meeting people where they're at, it's scamming desperate people out of money when they could just like, hug someone for free. That's what's so strange. The people who made that workshop named the problem and then came up with the most ass backwards way possible of solving it, while charging money for it. If they were running male social groups or men focused workout groups where the goal was to make friends that'd be one thing, but that's not what they're doing. They know it's only socially acceptable to hug a dude if you aren't actually hugging them, and they even acknowledge that's a stupid rule, and yet they're reinforcing said rule by their mere existence.

The King of Tiny Accidents

Jarvis encounters an average “israeli”-attitude runner (aside from being unarmed) Cowardly arrogance is exactly right. “Let’s not do nationalism as a response to YOU being rude” sound international advice “It’s eerie” Jordan my angel of music “The IOF just offered me this huge brand deal-“ ey we got there 💀 MIND THE BIG RECTANGLE “Los Angeles Costco fails the shopping cart society litmus test” Jordan’s feelings about this sort of shit being fucking creepy are very correct. That shit is a sickness When I do society things for people my general thoughts amount to “haha, people 🥰”

Jaye Hawkorvan

I will fight for my 2 inches of airplane recline, Im a large person and I want to saw my legs off lol

Spoder Thing

Jarvis being a teaching assistant makes so much sense, he is teaching assistant coded (good thing)

Tobias Resnick

The only think with the TSA bit lol is that it feels like every airport has a different system. Like that’s why I almost always fuck it up XD

Alexis W

as someone who tends to be the planning friend: check in with them and make sure they’re not getting burnt out on it! i love to make plans but sometimes it gets tiring, and if it’s not really reciprocated at all it can feel like you care more than the others. love how you guys talk about friendship dynamics like this :)

Keo

Why is question marking your own text passive aggressive? Am I toxic? pls explain

DakotaTalks

my favorite libertarian podcast is back!

Robin Hulbert

Dear GOD Jarvis has never been more relatable. "People think I'm too nice to be a little asshole" 🤝

Robin Hulbert

I do kinda wish you guys didn't always talk about weight as an objective problem to fix so much. I definitely get that it's personal to everyone! Just the problem/solution language about weight can be a little alienating to people who are comfortable being overweight - or are trying to be, if that makes sense

Samantha Evans

Oh my gods, the back end of this night's episode is so applicable for the human sexuality class that I'm taking in college right now.

Samantha Evans

Yes and also please be good at responding to the planning friend because nothing is worse than trying to make plans for your favorite people and then realizing how awful they are getting back to you

Samantha Evans

Can dis Owens, idk can dat Owens? Sorry I had a weed gummy again

Olivia Johnson

i only use the question mark reaction when a close friend or family member makes a spelling error so insane that i truly can’t figure out what they intended to say with context clues

vellie

Yes peeps, the angry stacking of other people’s tsa bins!!!!! So me

Calea

when I am reminding people about a hangout date when they havent responded to my first message I do have some anxiety about coming across as passive aggressive. so i usually respond to the hangout message with a gif of someone peeping in as a reminder on the day before. in my opinion, it's funny and hard to take seriously, so there's no room for the assumption that i'm being passive aggressive.

El (tigro chino)

This is just linguistics politeness maxims the ep

Olivia Miller

this part was hard for me because i understand where they are coming from but i also dont think it is always used in the passive aggressive context. it can be seen as passive aggressive because there is an implied confrontation (needing to ask for a response back) and a lack of communication (using a reaction to scapegoat yourself from sending a follow up text message). i think this segment is assuming a lot of things like context and relationship and i think that is where i get lost. i think of it similarly to a "poke" reminder which could also be passive aggressive ("hey, you arent doing this fast enough")

Lee U

Omg adding to the bins at the airport THERE'S A PLACE TO PUT THEM BACK WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR SRUFF DON'T JUST LEAVE IT THERE

Angelica Shipps

I'm sorry that happen to you Jarvis! Your dream girl is out there!! In the pursuit of having a love life there is a real fear of rejection some young women can have especially if raised with traditional values. I definitely understand where Anastasia friend coming from. I learning to show interest more in possible romantic interests myself and have had positive outcomes!

Rebecca

With love, when I send a question mark to my own message it is usually because it’s been an amount of time that I feel means they didn’t see the notification or didn’t hear their phone go off. It’s just an extra opportunity for their screen to light up in case they missed it so they can go “oh crap I didn’t see this let me respond real quick”

Keys Feldman

Honestly the whole London confrontation would make a great animation. I can just picture it all so perfectly in my head with how you retold the story

ofukuro

I personally don't think using a question mark to follow up to something you sent previously is passive aggressive. Its just a quick way to ask again without retyping everything imo

MilesKaySolomon

My brother once went up to a guy at a ball game who said something racist and replied, "Say it again motherfucker." And the guy ran away.

thedimreaper

Re: responding to people being needlessly rude My mom uses a wheelchair, and once at the mall I was pushing her through a store and a grown man made dead ass eye contact with me and then walked right out in front of my mom’s wheelchair, like WAY too close to her. I work with dogs, and I just out of habit made the noise I make at dogs when they’re being bad. We just stared at each other for a long time and my mom went “you can go, sir.” And I just know that man and I are both still thinking about it to this day 😂

Ailen Marie

I Q11. Q I Q I I am a Little. I Q 1 Q

Julian Dorsey

That'd be the justice sensitivity, my dudes :) As late-diagnosis ADHDer, it finally explains flip-of-a-switch rage I experience when other people are being mistreated in public, when I am an otherwise very chill, non-confrontational guy. P.S. - so glad Sad Boyz is back (I know it's been a while, but I'm just now returning to it), you guys got me through a lot of rough times in college. And thanks to Jarvis for responding to me on Instagram with tech career advice many moons ago. Y'all are the realest

Chris

People really think the whole world should revolve around them. This reminds me of the one time in a grocery store, and a guy behind me intentionally hit me with his cart. When I turned around and asked him why he would do that, he said, "well I beeped first. You're in the way." PARDON?? Since when was beeping a valid form of communication? Also, I couldn't move anyway because someone else was blocking the aisle. Regardless of the situation, hitting someone with a cart is never the correct course of action. T_T

nyxie

For some reason I'm imagining the person running to be doing it the same way as that cop in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Dixin Hanns

😵 this is dumb but I genuinely didn’t realize putting the plane seat back bothered anyone. I always just figured “why would it recline if I’m not supposed to recline it?” But now I know and I won’t do it anymore 😥

Vynnie

I relate so hard to Jarvis anger towards mean people. Like I’m nice because it’s good for society not because it gets me anywhere! It’s so hard being a nice person too because people take advantage of the fact that I won’t fight back because to me part of being nice is not causing unnecessary issues, but when you let people act however they want without consequence then they learn to take more and more and it moves the bar of what is considered an “unnecessary issue” I wish I had the spine Jarvis has but unfortunately I’ve got eldest daughter, autistic, and dysfunctional family all stacking like status affects

Alicia Polley

had to end my sad boyz subscription for a min because i was low on cash ( :( ) but now i’m back and omg i forgot how refreshing it was to hear just normal empathetic takes on the internet. like if everyone was just nice to each other the airport would be so smooth.

Alicia Polley

also love that the “actual” nights of this is exactly one hour

Nayelia

I definitely know what it's like to have someone claim they want to see you and then go radio silent. It's really hurtful because if you aren't interested, just say that. The older I get, the more I just realize how much communication I need, but I realize that's not something everyone is good at. I'm trying to temper my expectations accordingly.

Ryry

the groupchat thing jordan’s talking about is so real, i assume people feel that way when 2 people are talking about their own plans in a gc, but i’ve met a surprising amount of people who prefer to just scroll through the planning process, because they know they’re not being left out on purpose. i once planned a get together with 3 of my 5 friends and made a separate gc for it because i knew they couldn’t make it bc of plans and whatnot, but they were actually hurt by the fact that i made the plans without their knowledge, which was a new idea to me but obviously i can understand.

yjw

i never considered questionmarking a text as passive aggressive, this is wild to watch.

Lily Michelle

Super late bc I'm going through the backlog, but god when they said people would do anything on the road if their car wasn't at stake... I felt that. I can't drive due to medical reasons, so I cycle everywhere, and it's INSANE what people are willing to do on the road when they're in a big vehicle that could squash you while barely getting damaged.