Patreon Exclusive Livestream on June 30th 5pm EST (Patreon)

I will in fact being doing a livestream for the fricking Patrons, particularly to debrief about Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance but also for anyone who wants to join and just hangout and catch up, ask questions watch me drink and hear about things.

That’s all, so let me fill the rest of this out with a story.

Once there was a small goblin who liked to steal candles, so every morning he’d rattle around at the entrance to HomeSense clacking his claws against the glass and the employees would be like “oh god not this fucking goblin again” however they did have to open the doors eventually and the moment they did the goblin would sprint in towards the candles, deftly evading their kicks and cartoonish broom attacks, scrambling towards his tasty tasty wicks. He stole so many fucking candles and they could never stop him because he was just too speedy and small and goblin-like. He kept all of his contraband waxen aromatics in a little sewer where he was slowly melting them all into one big pile of glossy goo. But what the HomeSense employees didn’t know, and could never understand, was that at the center of those layers and layers of sculpted candle, deep within the amber, suspended in an aggressively lavender scented prison, was a single deadly rat, infected with a viral disease that turns the host gay. This little goblin all on his own, against the whole world, was making sure no one got infected by the gay rat. Happy pride.