"Taylor is giving us hidden messages in her actions and words and career choices." (Patreon)

For a while I've been trying to put my finger on what exactly is so fucking bizarre about the fandom now, and what it is that has everyone acting like unhinged animals across all social media. Like what is the CORE ISSUE in the fandom today that, that leads everyone to behave the way that they do. There are obviously a lot of problems, perhaps chief of all that she is simply too fucking famous and just keeps getting more famous - I used to think part of it was simply that people don't think of Taylor as an actual human person, but as a product. I still think that's a facet of the issue.

But the most notable thing I see, and see over and over and over again, is this idea that Taylor is speaking to us in code. The code can be legit anything. Today I saw that some girl on Tik Tok believes that Taylor is signaling to us "in code" via the tour setlist and how it's set up (??????????) that she is secretly single and Joe is no longer in the picture. Because Taylor doesn't "mention" Joe on stage, I guess? And choosing to sing Illicit Affairs means something more than just Taylor wanted to? It's bizarro. Plus there's all the theories that she's telling us she's gay or is still in love with Karlie Kloss or whatever. Everything Taylor does is code. Everything she says means something else. Every move she makes is picked apart and analyzed. Bored people on Tik Tok will make something out of anything, yes, but there's something SPECIFICALLY ABOUT TAYLOR that people are PARTICULARLY unhinged about. 

I think I've finally figured it out. 

A lot of the people who do this "Taylor is giving us secret messages!!!" thing, be they Gaylors or otherwise, are newer fans. Like, from Reputation forward. It's hard for me or any other longtime fan to really understand all the ways in which that experience of stanning Taylor might be fundamentally different than my own. But I've really sat and thought about it and realized that everything, literally every single thing, about being a fan of Taylor is different than it was from debut and even through 1989. What happened in 2016 completely changed the foundations of Taylor's career and I think of her personality and the way she views fame and the world and all of it. From debut toward the middle of 1989, she was nearly accessible. Even when we thought she was as famous as she could be, she interacted with us. She did interviews. She presented herself in the way she wanted to be seen, and she was a lot more candid than she ever is today. Being a stan of her in the early days toward the middle of her career is a unique experience, ESPECIALLY when compared to what's going on today. Taylor was distinctly human and real and relatable to me. Even if I feel I saw enough behind the curtain in the early days that I have somewhat of a lock on who she is, even I have to admit she's more distant now than she has ever been. 

A lot of these newer fans see older fans talking about certain things that would happen in the olden days - getting followed by Taylor, secret messages in her album booklets to find out who songs were about, the way she would write songs so that anyone could figure out who she was singing about, how her life was sort of given to us as an open diary - even just the parts she wanted us to see. It was like being a part of her life, in some way. She would reinforce this, even, calling us her "friends" in debut and Fearless era, and sending us gifts and shit during 1989. Like to a fan who was there, none of this probably seems particularly radical. But to someone who wasn't, and has only known Taylor from Reputation, Lover, or Folklore, or even from MIDNIGHTS, that shit is crazy. It does something weird to their psyche. Like the video of that girl weeping on a sidewalk after her eras tour show because "Taylor didn't see her outfit." ??? Why would she have seen your outfit? What makes you think Taylor knows you exist? Is it because she used to know specific fans did exist, back when that was something that used to happen? 

I think newer fans are desperately trying to posture, first of all, as being a good enough "swiftie" that they can read secret messages that aren't really there. And second of all, I think newer fans really want to be able to be close to her in the way that older fans were before 2016. And it's really, really, really hard to be close to her like that anymore as a fan. Personally, I think this is a good thing. She is way too famous and people are way too insane - but I definitely could see how newer fans might feel, for lack of a better term, LEFT OUT. It feels like older fans got to experience Taylor in a way they never will. This is true, and that really sucks. 

To me, new fans' psychosis is a combination of the easter eggs bullshit + Taylor's walls being up higher than ever + Folklore's mysterious "is this about her or is it made up" shit + almost no one getting to have a face to face conversation with her anymore. I remember when fans would meet Taylor at sessions, they'd post their entire conversations with her and Taylor would come across as sooo down to earth and kind and just like REAL!!!!! New fans are not experiencing these interactions anymore, and it makes Taylor seem like she's not a real person. And plus, they want those interactions badly. I sort of feel badly because if I were sixteen, I'd be so fucking jealous of everything older fans got to experience with her back then. 

But like the behavior being exhibited because of this FOMO if you will is just like, to me, DERAANGGGEEDDDD!!! Every single fucking day there's some new "theory." I don't mind theories about when SNTV is going to drop or if there's going to be a new record sometime soon, like, about her CAREER, I don't mind. 

About her personal fucking life???????????? And the total lack of care about what it would feel like if Taylor saw you saying her and Joe are broken up because she *checks notes* isn't talking to us enough?? I think Taylor is afraid of saying more because the more she says, the more it's dissected and judged. I think she's in the worst position she's ever been in, in terms of her fame. Which is why I think she couldn't stop herself from saying The Lucky One is about how horrible it is to be famous, full stop. No "I'm so blessed to be here." No "I'm so lucky to be able to do this." She said, being famous is fucking horrible, period. I hadn't realized this before, because maybe I thought 2016 was as bad as it could ever get - 

But guys...I think this is the bad place. It's over. Pack it up!! 

-Madeline