The Lizard Review of Til Dawn (Patreon)

First of all, I stayed up late to listen to this stupid re-release and I don't know why I fucking did that because it genuinely was not worth staying up for. It's literally the most useless of all the re-released editions of Midnights, of which there are, frankly, TOO MANY. So far we have had the original edition of Midnights, followed immediately by the 3am edition, then the Lavender Edition Target exclusive that originally held Hits Different, the Jade Green edition, the Mahogany edition, the Moonstone Blue edition, and now, the Til Dawn edition, AND the Late Night edition that's only being sold as like merch at the East Rutherford shows this weekend. I'm not even going to make a comment about that...I'm just presenting that information to you with no input from myself and you can choose how you feel about the absurdity of what I just listed off...LMFAO!!! The most bizarre crime of them all, to me, is not just releasing the Til Dawn edition of Midnights and including You're Losing Me on it. Making You're Losing Me an ultra exclusive release that you have to physically purchase a CD for (which she already did with Hits Different on the Lavender Target Exclusive...) and making that entire release separate from the Til Dawn edition is...simply....A CASH GRAB. Considering she's on the highest grossing tour she's ever had and is consistently selling out merch and Midnights is the fastest and highest selling record of her career, one has to wonder what precisely she's grabbing at cash for. One has to wonder. 

But enough ponderings on the capitalist nightmare. 

Hits Different on streaming. I clapped. I cheered. I cried. I saluted. I prayed. It's only been seven months of Hits Different being banished to my car stereo, never to be heard in the glory of mine headphones...a long seven months in the desert...it LITERALLY hits different now that I can stream it. Suddenly it's skyrocketing to the top of my Midnights ranking. Suddenly it's the greatest song I've ever heard. Suddenly I have to admit the essential and undeniable truth that oh my love is a lie, shit my friends say to get me by. I would give my left titty to get this as a surprise song but I suspect, very strongly, that she's going to whip it out this weekend for Met Life. And I HATE HER FOR THAT. Playing favorites with her shows is soooo fucking dirty and ugly...

Snow On The Beach featuring brand new artist "More Lana Del Rey"....this is a potential mother!!!!!!!!!!! I was sat there listening to it like, wait, why don't I like this song, again...? The new mix is different in only the most subtle way, a little tweaking in the intro and here and there, but it somehow really adds to the vibe and intentions of the song. It feels very Christmassy and very wintery, a lot more than the original. And when Lana starts on her shit. I moved. I'll be honest. I fucking moved. I leaped. She sounds very, very good, and the harmonies they added to the end of her verse are really magical. I think this song is also about to leap up in my Midnights ranking. 

And now, back to, this bitch that had a lot to say about me the other day in the press...Karma featuring Ice Spice what's good?!?!?!!? Let me say above all else. This song is like, not good. But it not being good doesn't mean that it isn't GOOD, in its own like, twisted and fucked up little way. It literally makes me laugh out loud several times. I offer you this simple commandment : Karma takes all my friends to the summit (facts.) Like that's just plain camp. That's the girls taking the piss. That's a laff. Karma is that girl like...grahhh...soooo true I cannot stress this enough Karma is LITERALLY that girl lliiikkkeee...what do you want me to say? Now is this just the original Karma but with Ice Spice randomly appearing almost like you're having a sleep paralysis induced dream while listening to the song and she materializes in the corner of your room and starts going AWWFFF...yes!!! Yes that's literally what this sounds like!!! But I just have to laugh, I don't know, did anyone think it was gonna be like, GOOD?!?!?! I just have to laugh. It's okay baby you don't gotta worry karma never gets lazy...what's so hard to understand about that...

Overall. Til Dawn : we did not ask for this. But she gives us Hits Different, she gives us the single funniest fucking remix of a song ever mixed, and she gives the BRAND NEW artist More Lana Del Rey a platform, such a generous queen!! We clap!!!