Dispatch from Delusional Bay (Patreon)

We are about 49 days away from the Tortured Poets Department being released and as you all MAY know or remember from past releases or my past posts....most of the time with a new record, as soon as I get the tracklist, I pick the order in which I will be listening to the songs on my first listen. I literally rearrange the tracklist for my first listen based on a stupid system that I make up for no reason other than I'm deranged. I didn't do this for Folklore or Evermore because I didn't have time obviously, and I also didn't do it for Midnights because of....I'm not sure why actually LMFAOOO, but I HAVE however been doing it for the TV's. 

Some of you may be wondering what order I plan on listening to the tracklist for this release as well....well to tell you the truth, I actually intend to listen to it in order even though having to wait that long to hear what exactly "loml" is going to sound like is going to be torture to me, and it's because I have a crackpot theory that the tracklist tells a story and is chronological. This is based on two factors :

1.) Delusion

2.) The titles SOUND like they're chronological, with Fortnight and the title track kicking it off. Fortnight will set the scene and the title track will describe what the Tortured Poets Department even is and WHAT the album is going to be discussing. Then, My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, Down Bad, and So Long London all being about the end of her relationship with Joe (I made this up but it sounds real to me). 

Then, But Daddy I Love Him, Fresh Out The Slammer, Florida!!!, Guilty As Sin?, Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?, and I Can Fix Him being about the immediate post break-up chaos and dating Matty Healy. This would be a period of time where she's trying to put a band-aid on the problem, act like she isn't screaming inside and dealing with the termination of her relationship, trying to pretend like she's doing fine, throwing herself into a new chaotic romance and her work to avoid facing her own problems. 

Into part three, which I believe will be the "dust settling" portion of the record - Loml, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived, and The Alchemy. This is the part of the record where she will finally accept and realize her and Joe, her longest relationship ever, is really over, she has no distraction like Matty to keep her from feeling her true feelings about it, and all she has to pour all her energy into is her tour (I Can Do It With A Broken Heart will sureelyyy be about that realization.) 

Clara Bow I think will just be a commentary on her place in pop culture and her career and how people see her at this particular moment in time, maybe even just a reflection on how she BECAME this Clara Bow type figure to people - it's really the only way I can make sense of that kind of a song being the closing track. I think she will use Clara Bow to describe herself and relate to her. I do not think there will be any songs about Travis on this record, to tell you the truth. 

The bonus tracks.........I HAVE NO IDEA they definitely won't fit into any chronological order because they're not even on the official tracklist really if you think about it, so those are on their own. But THAT is my true theory, and when you think about the track titles it does make sense, based on my doll house characters and etc etc...and THAT is why I will be listening to the album in the order provided, because I believe it is as GOD INTENDED IT!!! It would be THRILLING to have a tracklist of hers be chronological and tell a story like that, considering how choatic a lot of her tracklist choices have been in the past. 

Honestly, I am so attached to this personal theory of mine that I'll be literally gagged and shocked if it isn't true 🥺 but what do you guys think about my theory??? Do you have any of your own theories about the tracklist???