ACL: 59.5 Parahumans Online (Patreon)

Chapter 59.5: Parahumans Online

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♦ Topic: Endbringer Discussion: Detroit, MI, USA In: Boards ► Global ► Major Announcements

Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Posted On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yes, the many threads you've been seeing are correct. To prevent site clutter, I've decided to make and pin this thread. All other endbringer discussions threads will be muted.

That said, it is my sincerest privilege to report that the Simurgh is dead. The false angel descended on the Detroit-Windsor area along the US-Canada border. In total, sixty-four capes across the two countries volunteered for this battle. Alongside local heroes, Legend first arrived to hold the line against her while other teams rallied.

As you know, those who enter the Simurgh's zone of control may only be there for up to thirty minutes before they are mastered by her song. This was overturned by the arrival of Menagerie, an independent hero from Brockton Bay. He allowed Legend to rejoin the battle thanks to an anti-master shaker effect of some kind.

In the end, only those four remained in the air. Eidolon and Alexandria held the Simurgh while Legend kept the sky clear. This gave Menagerie the chance to deliver the finishing blow, giving us [this] legendary photograph of him and Alexandria holding the Simurgh’s wing, the only thing left after that final attack.

Edit 1: Yes, celebrate. But know that the battle was still very costly for Detroit and Windsor. Lots of people died, lost their livelihoods, or will live lives in permanent quarantine through no fault of their own. Don't you dare make light of it. This thread will be moderated under zero tolerance rules.

Edit 2: Here are some helpful links.

You can find the list of missing persons [here].

You can find the list of deceased persons [here].

All official relief efforts have been organized [here].

Lastly, [here] are official announcements made by the PRT.

Edit 3: Dragon has been gracious enough to compile a [video of relevant combat footage]. It's usually not made public, but she, the chief director of the PRT, and the participating heroes agreed that this was worth releasing. Viewer discretion is advised.

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►Brilliger (Moderator: Protectorate Main) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Maybe we should set the thread to a no tolerance rule? Things are going to get messy, fast.

►Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yeah, you're right. Edited.

►Money Back Guarantee Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Holy shit, the Simurgh is dead? Fuck yeah!

►Robby Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Today is a good day to break out grandpa's sherry collection.

►Tumbles Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Fr fr. I'm gonna go get plastered.

►Mane Magenta Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate, but I have in-laws in Detroit. They're not missing or deceased so I think they're still in quarantine. Do we know when the walls will go up? And is there a way to contact them afterwards?

►Deadman Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Bro, I'm not sure you know what "quarantine" means. It wouldn't be a quarantine if you could talk to them, would it?

►Miss Mercury (Protectorate Employee) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Eh, yes and no. Although containment zones do not allow anyone in or out, we sometimes do pass messages and goods inside. For example, food and supplies are delivered regularly, enough to feed the estimated population.

Contact with someone who is already in a containment zone is... limited. [Here] are some resources for you, [Mane Magenta]. However, be advised that though a final phone call may be permitted, you will be monitored afterwards for your own safety.

►Mane Magenta Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I... I get it. Thanks, Mercury. Going into master-stranger containment for a bit is worth it if I get to say goodbye. That’s… That’s more than most people get to say.

►Miraclemic Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Not to point out the obvious, but... do we even need a containment zone for Detroit? I mean, the bird bitch is dead. Can you master someone after you're dead? Are Simurgh victims free now?

Edit: Yup, there's already a [petition] to free Simurgh bombs and rebuild Detroit. I’m feeling really conflicted about this.

►Robby Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Not gonna lie, dude. That sounds pretty hasty. I mean, I get it, I think the city where an endbringer died deserves to be honored, not closed off forever. But still, her death doesn't magically un-fuck Simurgh bombs.

►Divide Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yeah, it sucks. Still, I'm glad the Simurgh is dead, provided Fishie isn't fucking with us.

*She's definitely fucking with us if she bans me for this, lol.

►Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I'll let this slide once. I don't joke about endbringers, you gremlin.

Anyway, Dragon has compiled a [video of relevant combat footage]. I've added it to the OP as an edit.

►Money Back Guarantee Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yeah, our almighty fish wouldn't lie.

Also, I have no idea wtf is happening on-screen anymore. There was an orange rat(?) that flew into the air. Everyone got super-saiyan fire cloaks. And then... uh... shit went down?

I mean, there are too many explosions. I can't even see the Simurgh.

►BadSamurai Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 lolol The Simurgh is known for being a precog who can move at supersonic speeds. It'd be weirder if scrubs like us could keep tabs on her.

That, and people could only watch from afar. It's a pity, but only Alexandria kept a helmet cam so hers is the only close-up perspective we have. Or maybe Eidolon and Legend had them too, but they broke because, you know, Simurgh.

Oh, and the rat that’s mauling the pigeon like it’s a New York subway is [Menagerie]. Brockton Bay represent!!!

Anyway, watch to the end. Ediolon, Legend, and Menagerie get caught in the Simurgh's tinkertech. They all break out, but Eidolon lost an arm and a leg. And then, the ending is pretty clear. The picture of the weird rodent holding the Simurgh’s wing is going to be my wallpaper.

Menagerie bullshit > Simurgh bullshit. There's something in the water in Brockton Bay. Trust.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 As a fellow Brocktonite, I can confirm that there is indeed something in the water. For those who are uninitiated into the ways of Brockton’s new overlord, here’s a [Menagerie highlight reel]. 

Menagerie bullshit > Simurgh bullshit. Trust.

►Reave (Verified PRT Agent) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yup. I'm not native, got reassigned here eight years ago or so. But that just means I know the difference between another comparable, mid-sized city like Hartford, CT and Brockton Bay, NH.

I'm not even joking. There really is something special about this place. But holy shit are we happy to have the crazy changer.

Menagerie bullshit > Simurgh bullshit. Trust.

►SenorEel Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Not a Brocktonite, but sure.

Menagerie bullshit > Simurgh bullshit. Trust.

Okay, fr though, who the fuck is Menagerie?

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Our Overlord of Many Faces. He goes by Dragonslayer, Conqueror of Empires, Healer, Panacea's Boyfriend, and occasionally, Anti-Vista Bully.

►White Fairy (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 You're just confusing him. But sure, why not add fuel to the fire?

Menagerie is also a game developer, occasionally Godzilla’s baby brother, occasionally a dragon, occasionally a motorcycle, and occasionally a [sexy furry-bait bunny]. Welcome to Brockton; leave your sanity at the door.

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►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Hehehehe, it’s so nice to be in the know. Is this how Bagrat feels, but all the time? Welcome to Brockton, world. Come for the cod fishing, stay for the “Wait, is the motorcycle alive?”

►Divide Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 lolol [Here's] his wiki page. It's wild to think about, but he's been around since January. Which means that bro went from "regular high school student" to "watch me cremate the Simurgh" in two months.

I'm convinced. Brockton Bay is a very special place.

►Tumbles Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Wait, two months? What the fuck? And he's Wards-age? Why isn't he a Ward?

►White Fairy (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 He's not a Ward because he doesn't want to be. Honestly? I'm glad he's not. He would never have been allowed to do half the things he's done for the city if he joined the Protectorate. Menagerie being a free agent is the best thing to happen in Brockton Bay in literal decades.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Truth. Anyway, if anyone can give you an actual lowdown on who he is, it's Bagrat. He’s our guy in the know, and also the Menagerie historian. [Bagrat]! I summon thee!

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 lolol Hi, everyone. I'm the resident Guy in the Know around Brockton and the broader New England area, though I’m not sure if we can call Menagerie’s two months long career “history” in the strictest sense. And yeah, White Fairy and Brocktonite03 are right. It’s genuinely hard to put to words how impactful he's been.

For starters, he’s best described as a changer-Eidolon. He can turn into various monsters that he calls "pocket monsters," or “pokemon” for short, each with their own powers. By [his own admission], he has over a thousand such transformations.

The city's first real introduction to him was as a [healer comparable to Panacea]. He's better in some ways. She's better in others. Most notably, he can work on brains while she has a much easier time treating congenital diseases.

He took out [Coil], a thinker villain who had an entire decommissioned endbringer shelter as his secret base. While Coil wasn’t necessarily a major power, the [investigation records] of the men they arrested are something else. Be warned, some of it is quite graphic.

He also eliminated the [Empire Eighty-Eight], the largest organization of neo-Nazis in North America. I could write a whole book about the socioeconomic pressures that led to the E88's rise and fall and why Menagerie started to fight them, but just know that they were a huge deal. They even had connections to European extremist groups, not that that helped them.

Then, he took out the [Azn Bad Boyz]. I know, stupid name, and they only had two capes. You can laugh, but remember that one of those capes was Lung, the [Dragon of Kyushu]. The other was a [teleporting suicide bomber]. The first part of the battle is quite well-documented. Lung’s fight against the salamence was recorded in part by Laserdream of New Wave.

For the first time since the advent of parahumans, the heroes have a decisive edge over villains in Brockton Bay. Brocktonites feel the same way about Menagerie as New Yorkers feel about Legend. He's not just a "strong hero," he's the symbol that shit's going to work out.

►Valkyr (Wiki Warrior) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Well put, Bagrat.

But also, this is going to give me so much fucking work. Do you have any idea how hard it is extracting useful footage from that video? I swear, every time Menagerie makes an appearance, his wiki page gets even longer.

►Miraclemic Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 lolol Menagerie's wiki page is just a popup of a New York rat mugging a pigeon. Good job, [Valkyr]. Must have been so much work finding that image.

►Valkyr (Wiki Warrior) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Shut up, that's a placeholder.

►Miraclemic Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Seems legit.

►Filip Yena Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Good for Menagerie, but why Detroit? For fuck's sake, I had friends and family there. Ngl, I'm not really in a celebratory mood.

I mean, I'm happy she's gone, but thinking about what I need to tell my friends and family for that final phone call sounds a lot like I'm preparing their eulogies, you know?

►Dragon_Official (Verified Cape) (The Guild) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I'm afraid that it's partially my fault. The Simurgh takes an interest in tinkers and one of my manufacturing centers was located there. Several of the things the Simurgh made were directly inspired from my workshop. I cannot apologize enough.

►Procto the Unfortunate Tinker (Not a tinker) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Nah, fuck that, [Dragon_Official]. The Simurgh is a bitch who targets tinkers. That's nothing new. That doesn't make it your fault.

►Acree Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Wait, aren't you in Vancouver? Why would you have a manufacturing plant in Detroit?

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 To answer that, you're going to need a bit of historical context: It goes back to the early 2000s when the PRT first expanded to Canada. The US and Canada lowered their borders and began a lot of cooperative initiatives during that time.

One of those was a jointly managed manufacturing center in the Detroit/Windsor area. Dragon mostly used it to mass produce communicators, geospatial intelligence hardware, and of course, confoam. Lots of confoam. Scuttlebut says Dragon's recently been trying something new, but saying this is her fault is wildly dishonest.

►Menagerie_Official (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Truth. There's plenty of blame to go around. If anything, I'm not free of it, either. I didn't know until the start of the battle, but the Simurgh was using teleportation and hammerspace technology, two blueprints Dragon received from me. If she needs to apologize, so do I.

►Lasersmile Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Holy shit, it's Menagerie.

►Filip Yena Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Fine, I get it. It was an awful tragedy and the Simurgh's dead now.

I'll just... go back to drafting what I want to tell my brother in our last phone call.

►Mane Magenta Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yeah, I don't think anyone really blames either of you. We're just... sad. It's a really bittersweet feeling. I really hope the rules around containment zones can be loosened eventually.

►Dragon_Official (Verified Cape) (The Guild) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 We understand. I know this doesn't make it better, but please receive my heartfelt sympathies.

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►Menagerie_Official (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Likewise. I'm sorry that victory is sometimes insufficient.

I've never been good at this whole grief thing, but it helps to vent. Get drunk. Scream. Break things. Let yourself do what you need to do to express what cannot be put to words.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I know it's a long shot, but any chance you can pull another miracle out of your ass, [Menagerie_Official]?

►Divide Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Heal Simurgh victims? Can anyone do that? I mean, Eidolon can make himself immune to her song, but that's not the same thing as fixing what's already broken.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 It's telling that I legitimately don't know. When it comes to Menagerie, it's kind of up in the air.

►Menagerie_Official (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Thank you for your faith in me. However, that's currently well beyond my current capability.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 "Current?" ∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ) ?

I wasn't actually serious, you know.

►Menagerie_Official (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Current.

►SenorEel Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Okay, seriously, what the hell is your power?

►Forgotten Creator Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Also, how upset would you be if I crocheted a plushie of your rat-thingie?

►Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Nope, let's stop this here. I understand that you're excited to learn more about the endbringer slayer, but let's stay on topic.

►Menagerie_Official (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 So long as you don't try to sell my image, you can do what you want.

►MattersOfTheSky Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 You will receive judgment for this [Menagerie_Official]. Your sins have been counted.

►BadSamurai Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Sins?

►Lone Ranger Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Ah, fuck. Sorry, everyone. We here in the South have a band of crazies called the Fallen. They're endbringer worshipers and I'm pretty sure that guy's one of those idiots.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Ignore the troll. Can we back up for a bit? [Menagerie_Official], what do you mean you gave Dragon blueprints? Since when are you a tinker? I know you made the [PMD: Legacy of Steel] game, but I thought you just worked with a software tinker.

►Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I'm going to stop this here. Let's try to keep things on track, please. I understand that you want to learn more about the endbringer slayer, but this thread is meant to be for discussing the endbringer battle and recovery efforts.

►Deadman Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Aww, but Menagerie is on topic.

►Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Shush. Take it elsewhere.

►MattersOfTheSky Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 We're not crazy, [Lone Ranger]. We're the ones who see the truth. The Angel descended to bring about a New Age, but you would not listen. Her martyrdom will ignite a fire of worship across the nation and the Heretic will die for his crimes.

Moderator Edit: I don't care what you believe. What the fuck did I say about making light of endbringer battles? Take your IP ban fuck off.

►Fishie (Original Poster) (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 That's enough of that. Menagerie made an [AMA]. Discussions about the scariest rat can go there.

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♦ Topic: I am Menagerie. Ask me anything. In: Boards ► United States ► New Hampshire ► Brockton Bay ► General

Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) Posted On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Fishie], great overlord of the interwebs, kicked me back into the Brockton Bay hovel and said I should do an AMA so here it is. Uh... Ask me stuffs. I swear to be as helpful and upfront as is amusing to me.

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►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Rofl, classic Menagerie.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Guess I'll reiterate the question I asked before Fishie kicked us out: What do you mean you gave Dragon blueprints?

►Fishie (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I did not "kick you out." I just kindly suggested Menagerie should make his own thread to field your questions.

Also, congratulations on your new endbringer slayer tag. It's very well-earned.

►Laotsunn (Kyushu Survivor) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yeee. Menagerie's out there making Brockton Bay proud.

►Mac's Dual Rocket Propelled Grenades Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 You know, I don't think anyone actually believed [Panacea_Official] when she said Victini was the strongest form her boyfriend has. Seriously, something that cute has no business being that dangerous.

►White Fairy (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Yes, yes, we're all very proud of him. Now, question: What exactly happened during the endbringer battle? Things were really hard to see.

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Bagrat]: One of my forms is a digital entity. I have some information about technology that I gave to Dragon. The two blueprints contained a method of creating portals and a way to create hammerspace backpacks for storage purposes. I hoped that they could improve her own mecha.

[White Fairy]: The Simurgh was able to use a combination of specializations to create hundreds of missiles and portals. She used the portals to make the missiles harder to predict. The missiles exploded to form pocket dimensions that would self-detonate after a while, killing everyone trapped inside.

After we broke out, Eidolon got hurt. He's better now thanks to Panacea. He switched out one of his powers to hold the Simurgh with Alexandria. And before anyone asks, no, I don’t have any video footage for you guys.

[Fishie]: Thanks for the tag. Can I also get Will of Legends and Aura Master?

►Fishie (Board Admin) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 You know what? Sure. You've earned them, buddy... whatever they mean.

►Mane Magenta Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 You said healing Simurgh victims is beyond your current capability. What do you mean by that?

►SenorEel Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 What exactly is a "Victini?" Why is it so much stronger than all your other forms and what can it do?"

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Thanks, [Fishie].

[Mane Magenta]: I don't have access to every single pokemon simultaneously. Instead, I have something of a roulette. Some pokemon are better at some things than others. Healing the mind is, as you might imagine, not an easy thing to do, especially when I don’t know what “fine” looked like. I'm sorry, I don't have a concrete answer for you beyond that it is possible... eventually.

[SenorEel]: Victini is one of a category of pokemon called Legends. They are immensely powerful and, unlike my other forms, have distinct personalities of their own. Victini is female and does not appreciate being called an "it."

As for what she can or cannot do, it would be easier to list the thing she cannot: heal. We were unable to heal Eidolon's injuries mid-battle and afterwards, I was too tired. He had to go see Panacea to regrow his limbs.

Otherwise, Victini is a thinker, blaster, shaker, master, mover, brute, and breaker. Her abilities revolve primarily around telekinesis and elemental manipulation, especially fire. I'll leave the exact number-crunching to the PRT analysts.

►Mr. Fabuu Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Wait, "she?" Why is Victini a she? No offense to trans people or anything, but you're a man and you consider yourself a man in daily life. How does that work? Is selective gender dysphoria a thing?

►Thatdude Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Who cares, dude? Menagerie can be whatever the fuck he wants to be, literally. 

More importantly, can I please have a plushie of Victini? It's all I want. Out of life.

►Whitecollar (Cape Wife) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I want to take a minute to talk about [this] picture. At the end of the battle, you evaporated the Simurgh, leaving behind a wing, which you're brandishing like a turkey leg.

Do you still have that? If so, what will you do with it?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Mr. Fabuu]: I don't know what to tell you. Victini is female. She would like to be addressed as such when she's in control. And yes, I mean that literally. Her mind is independent of me. I don't otherwise have an obsession with macaron cookies. She is her own person and should be treated like one.

On another note, if you ever call a macaron cookie an “overhyped Oreo,” she reserves the right to yeet you into orbit. You’ve been warned.

[Thatdude]: Ask [xXAtelier_AlpacaXx]. She is in full control of my merch sales and image. As far as I'm concerned, whatever she wants, she gets. Also note that I've never sponsored any other business. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

[Whitecollar]: Oh, I still have it. I'm not actually sure what I want to do with it, though. I asked Sabah if she'd attach it to my helmet like one of those Spartan plumes, but Sabah says the Simurgh's wing is like an organic crystal. It'll crack and shatter before it can be attached like that. Feel free to give me suggestions.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Okay, I heard an interesting little rumor from the PRT scuttlebutt. They say that you (Victini?) demanded the PRT ENE dedicate a section of its budget to macarons. How serious were you(she)?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Bagrat]: You're as well-informed as always. And yes, Victini was very serious. She says she might toss the Rig around like a beach ball if she doesn't receive daily tribute in macarons. They can be placed upon the altar on my island, right in front of the [statue of Arceus].

Now, she's probably joking. Dragon tells me I have a lot of money from the bounty on the Simurgh's head so I can buy my own macarons. That said, the PRT is free to test her patience for themselves.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Rofl, [Reave], you guys are getting extorted by a rat.

►Reave (Verified PRT Agent) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Sure, but it's Victini. I'm pretty sure national already gave us the green light for this "special discretionary expenditure."

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►White Fairy (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Ooh! I'm actually good at baking. Can I make Victini macarons?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [White Fairy]: For now, we'll have to pass. If you see her getting ready to smite the Rig like the cruel, merciless rodent-demigoddess she is, you may offer your culinary expertise to soothe her wrath.

Now that I think about it, a baking contest would be pretty funny...

►SpecificProtagonist Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 So... How anatomically accurate is Victini? And have you ever felt... curious?

►White Fairy (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 For fuck's sake, girl. You need help.

►SpecificProtagonist Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I don't. I need answers. For science. And my next cape-fic.

►Feychick Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Don't bother trying to fix [SpecificProtagonist]. Don't you know? She's the foremost author of Menagerie smut in the creative writing section. She's written almost two hundred thousand words of her OC self-insert fucking every pokemon he's ever turned into. Keep in mind, he's only been active for two months.

►BadSamurai Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Llamo, why do you know that?

►Feychick Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 …

Reasons...

►SpecificProtagonist Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Aha, a fan!

►Panacea_Official (Verified Cape) (New Wave) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 lol [Menagerie_Official], wanna answer your adoring fangirl?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Some questions don't need answers.

►Panacea_Official (Verified Cape) (New Wave) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Fine, if you won't, I'm happy to contribute to this steaming shitheap bonfire. [SpecificProtagonist], Victini is biologically female in every way that matters. Do with that knowledge what you will.

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Why do you do this?

►Panacea_Official (Verified Cape) (New Wave) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Really? Are you fucking serious? After [all] [the] [shit] [you] [put] [me] [through]? You have the nerve to ask me why? It's like your power gets stronger every time you use it to annoy me. Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Oof, fair enough. But you do realize that Victini is the one you'll be answering to, right? Fair warning, the rat is vindictive as hell.

►Feychick Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Couple's spat?

►Panacea_Official (Verified Cape) (New Wave) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 …

I may have miscalculated.

►Miss Mercury (Protectorate Employee) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 As funny as this is, I have a question: Following the Simurgh, more people are aware of who you are. That includes your age, of course. There's a national [statement] from the Youth Guard saying that you should have joined the Wards and that you were put needlessly at risk. How do you feel about the Youth Guard?

►Lone Ranger Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Also, how do you feel about [The Fallen]? Fair warning, some people are saying they might come after you. Whether they can win or not isn't the point. They worshiped the Simurgh so for them, it's a holy crusade, right?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Feychick]: We broke up. 

[Miss Mercury]: The short answer is that I don't. I don't feel one way or the other about the Youth Guard because I don't think about them at all.In general terms, I agree with their mission. They want to keep children safe. They want child parahumans to learn to control their powers in a stable environment with proper support structures. That's objectively a good thing.

In practice, things aren't so simple. Parahumans don't like being cooped up. They need to actively use their powers, oftentimes for conflict of some sort. It can be hard to accept for adults, but [research] says this is true. In which case, treating them with kid gloves can actually be worse in the long run.

Also, my friend [AllSeeingEye] says there are several lawsuits about corruption and mismanagement of funds? I don't know anything about that though, so you'll have to ask her. If that's true, then my opinion of them would change significantly. Hypocrites are bad enough. Hypocrites who use causes like child safety to better themselves are scum of the earth.

As for how the Youth Guard applies to me personally... They don't. They're free to say what they want, but I'm going to do things my way. Short of Arceus Above telling me otherwise, that's not going to change.

[Lone Ranger]: You're right. The Fallen would consider me and the Triumvirate apostates to their faith. I really don't want to deal with them, though. I mean, New York is on the way to Brockton Bay, so they're [Legend_Official]'s problem first, right? Right. Let me know if you need help, zappy-man.

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►Legend_Official (Verified Cape) (Triumvirate) (Endbringer Slayer) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I will, thanks. Don't worry, the PRT has an ongoing national watch. Increased activity from the Fallen is just about the most predictable consequence of the death of the Simurgh and we're already on it.

Now, a question from me, if you don't mind: Are you okay? How do you feel? Battles like that, win or lose, tend to leave a mark on a person.

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I'm okay, Legend. This isn't my first high-stakes battle. Besides, I'm not alone. I have Victini and Panacea and all my other friends.

►Legend_Official (Verified Cape) (Triumvirate) (Endbringer Slayer) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 That's good to hear. You were incredible, Menagerie. If you ever want to drop by New York, we'd be honored to host you.

►Answer Key Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Menagerie_Official], do you actually believe the whole Arceus stuff? Like, at first, we all figured you were joking, but I'm not sure anymore. You say it so often that it's a part of your identity now.

Also, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU TWO BROKE UP???

►Vista (Wards ENE) (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:\

 Congratulations, Menagerie. Clock says you should roast the wing and eat it like a chicken wing. I hit him for you. You’re welcome.

What are you going to do now?

►Clockblocker (Wards ENE) (Verified Cape) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Uncalled for.

When is the next Pokemon Mystery Dungeon coming out?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Thanks, [Legend_Official]. I might take you up on that. I hear the bagels are better for some magical reason there.

[Answer Key]: Yes. I know how crazy it sounds, but I do believe in a creator god called Arceus. You don’t have to believe in him, but I do, and that is enough for me.

And yes, we broke up. We’re still friends, though. As for why… We’ll probably tell you something different each time.

[Vista]: I'm sure Clock deserved it. The wing is crystalline so it can't really be eaten. It's really just a decorative piece. If I ever get my own office, it'll hang above my desk so everyone can see it. It'll be a really funny flex.

[Clockblocker]: When I'm bored enough to give programming another try. Maybe Vista can be the main character.

►Good Ship Morpheus Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 What if you don't have to do the programming? How would you feel about being in another video game? I'm pretty sure Super Cape Brawl's whole thing is that they have all the biggest, strongest capes represented.

►AllSeeingEye Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Whew, definitely joined the right team. Also, I hope you appreciate how much work it is to manage your image, boss. My phone hasn't stopped ringing about sponsorships and licensing rights and [xXAtelier_AlpacaXx] and E only care about making clothes/paintings so it all falls on me.

I've always been curious, actually. If you believe in Arceus, why do you make fun of your god? You keep calling him an alpaca.

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 [Good Ship Morpheus]: I don't mind. Once again, talk to Alpaca. Or AllSeeingEye since she outed herself as Alpaca's COO.

[AllSeeingEye]: Arceus isn't a serious god. Which isn't to say he doesn't exist, but he has no places of worship nor rituals nor sacraments. Learn. Explore. Delight in the reality that he has made. That's about all the commandments there are and I like to think I'm doing well on that front.

Oh, [Vista], as for what I'm going to do now... There have been several gangs that moved in from other cities. I suspect I'll be managing those if any haven't gotten cold feet after this.

►WhedonRipperFan Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Lmfao You really think they're going to try anything after you killed an endbringer?

Also, "manage?" As in, not arrest?

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Try anything? It depends on what you mean. I doubt anyone's going to look for a fight with me directly. That said, I also don't think they'll just give up and leave, either. Every Triumvirate city has their own share of gangs too, after all.

While fighting me head-on is off the table, that isn't to say they can't get what they want from the city. As I understand it, the main reason gangs came to Brockton Bay was because of the newly valuable real estate. The former Boat Graveyard is now up for grabs and a lot of companies have been making legitimate purchases. I'm sure some of them have gang ties.

And yes, manage. Truth is, crime isn't going away. Nor do I have any interest in being the sole arbiter of justice in Brockton Bay. Let other heroes be heroes; that’s literally their jobs. If I can spend my days goofing off, I'd happily do so. I won't ever let a gang gain dominance like the Empire or ABB, but I don't have any interest in chasing down every pickpocket or shoplifter personally, either.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Congratulations, [Reave]! You get to keep your job!

►Reave (Verified PRT Agent) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Fuck you.

But also, I've been hearing that the Teeth are in town. Please don't engage the Butcher, Menagerie.

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I promise I won't be the next Butcher.

On another note, [Brandish_NW], do you think it's fair to announce everything we've been working on?

►Feychick Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 Wut? Menagerie and... Brandish? Huh, there's a partnership I didn't expect.

►SpecificProtagonist Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 He's going for an oyakodon! Yes!!!

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I hate that I know what that means, [SpecificProtagonist]. Please shut up.

Also, I told you, Amy and I broke up. Because… [looks through New Wave cape-fics]... Victoria has a stepsister kink and was very jealous that I was monopolizing Amy’s love. 

►Brandish_NW (Verified Cape) (New Wave) Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 …

You know what? I don’t care. Whatever is between you and my daughter should remain between you two. Please stop starting nonsensical rumors.

As for what we’ve been working on, I suppose so. It isn't much of a secret and we likely won't find a better time for it.

Ahem, Menagerie has been cooperating with Panacea and Dragon to create what he calls "berries." These berries have immense medicinal potential and we have created a holding company to manage this venture as well as the tinkertech blueprints he gave to Dragon.

Our goal is to make medicine cheaper and more accessible while remaining fully compliant with the NEPEA-5 and other relevant regulations.These berries are in the testing phase right now, but some have been handed over to the PRT for analysis.

►Menagerie_Official (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Endbringer Slayer) (Will of Legends) (Aura Master) Replied On Feb 20th 2011: Yeah, what she said. For those of you who are terminally online yet somehow still illiterate, let me break down her lawyer-speak for you: Ahem, [Panacea_Official] is now the drug lord of Brockton Bay.

I'll leave y'all with that juicy tidbit while I go make good on my macaron promises to Victini. Seeya~

►SpecificProtagonist Replied On Feb 20th 2011:

 I FEEL SO SEEN RIGHT NOW.

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Author’s Note

Whew, long one. I went out for a bit, came back, then thought of more things I could include. And then I stopped because it was long enough already.

Animal Fact: Sea otters use rocks to crack shellfish, which is an example of tool use among animals. You probably knew that. What you probably didn’t know is that sea otters get attached to rocks in the same way your crusty uncle gets attached to his favorite screwdriver.

They carry around their favorite tools in folds of skin under their arms. The otters, not your uncle. Though maybe your uncle, too. He’s crusty like that. They’ll even play with their favorite rocks when they’re bored, twirling them around in their hands.