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The Pleasures of Hell - Chapter 085 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-17 16:06:16
Imported:
2026-11
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Content

Build-up chapter, and a bit of a weird one. It gets a lot of pieces rolling, and I've forced myself to not dawdle in scenes so we can get this caravan moving. Let me know how it reads. It's the sort of chapter where I need feedback to improve.

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T1+ Bestiary: https://www.patreon.com/posts/poh-simplified-90310253

T2+ Bestiary: https://www.patreon.com/posts/in-depth-89961163

Comments

DMW_MD

I'm guessing A +++ isn't going to be helpful feedback. I'll at least try to elaborate, though I'm not sure how helpful I'll be. For anyone who hasn't read this chapter yet, possible spoilers ahead. These are the type of your chapters I look forward to the most. Where there are payoffs to plot lines and character development that you've been hinting at for ages, and you manage to add more compelling mysteries with the reveal. You did it very well with Keziah, and orders of magnitude better with Belor. The longer backstory does a lot. A similar example would be the reveal with Acellina finally admitting she knew Mia killed Zel. The books of uncertainty with her motives, knowing that she knew, added so much depth to the story and made the reveal so much better. For an in progress example, ive been quite looking forward to Mia's reaction to the vision of David's last kill, especially to see her reaction to seeing Ciara in the vision. The biggest empath in the story seeing the death of the first demon who was nice to her. It's been driving me nuts actually, but there isn't a thing I'd have cut to get that faster. At least from the perspective of a guy who skims the porn parts, this is what you do best as a writer. I'm not sure what feedback would help that, whatever you've been doing works really well already.

AniNovu

Thanks. I had been talking about Belor since forever. Felt great to finally bring him out.

JOHN SMITH

It was difficult for me to put this down and it just left me wanting more. You definitely know how to tell a story. the character development, the subtle differences in mannerisms between Vin and Belor, the fact that neither of them really remember all of their history, it’s great, you’re able to weave complexity into almost all of these characters. There’s rarely someone that doesn’t feel like there’s a wealth more story behind pretty much everyone you’ve introduced I could see them having their own spinoff series.

AniNovu

Thanks. These chapters worry me because the pacing is all over the place. But if people like it, then they like it.

Imation

So finally a chapter where everything goes well for Mia. You might think it would be boring but you made it interesting and entertaining. To top it off you challenge us to comment on the weak spots. To make me look like a dork, commenting on a chapter that has no faults. You're obviously fishing for compliments. It took me a while but I came up with a couple of hiking tips. Mia and crew decent a steep canyon wall for at least a kilometer. That's a 300 story skyscraper. And you shorten that scene with 'it took a while' . Maybe for Mia, she was in the arms of Yosepha but the rest of the crew had to scale 100 ledges. They would be exhausted. And the same goes for the ascent. From the bottom of the cave to the surface is a climb of more than a kilometer. You make it look like a daily walk. I think they organize hikes in the Grand Canyon that take three days. Finally there is the scene at the forge. While Vin cs are killing the remaining Betrayers Mia sits down to read the Rune book. It is probably a key scene and I can't think of another way but it seems a bit rash.