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“I hate how Henry talks to his mother, it sounds like he’s dating her” - Eric

On this patrons-only We Hate Movies episode, we’re finally discussing one of the most requested titles in show history, The Book of Henry! How terrible is this story trajectory? How obnoxious is the titular Henry? Why was this the only way forward this supposed kid genius could think up to solve this problem with the neighbors? How depressingly wasted is Dean Norris in this movie? Does Sarah Silverman’s character have a thing for the kid? And why did they even bother having this Lee Pace doctor character come back into the movie? PLUS: How about we start auditioning a little more thoroughly for these school talent shows, huh?

The Book of Henry stars Naomi Watts, Jaeden Martell, Jacob Tremblay, Dean Norris, Lee Pace, Maddie Ziegler, Tonya Pinkins, Bobby Moynihan, and Sarah Silverman as Sheila; directed by Colin Trevorrow.

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Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Files

Comments

Kate G

Happy Thursday everyone 🥰

Rod

Wtf did I watch? It was like the Psycho of family dramas.

WarOfTheBees

The making of this movie was like the construction of the atomic bomb. So many people worked on this. They knew what they were creating and if enough of them said "no," it might not have happened.

Tim O'

I've never seen this movie and I put this episode on while I was getting ready in the morning. I was about to take a sip of coffee when I heard that Naomi Watts has a sniper rifle in this, and I froze.

Tim O'

I wonder if it was like Oppenheimer, where there was a group of production assistants who tried to rally against completing the movie once the moral weight of the project started to hit them.

Winson Paine

It is Crapenheimer, they still made the bomb alas

ediblegenius

Battle at Big Rock might be the best Jurassic Park production since the first Jurassic Park

Winson Paine

The kid legacy shit is something they still do, I guess it is funny or fun or something to hear tiny children speculate on the future. The only one I kept was a drawing they had to do of WHAT I LOOK LIKE NOW/WHAT I LOOK LIKE IN 100 YEARS and her first drawing is a stick figure kid and the second is a fucking tombstone with RIP on it.

Eren Keskin

The writer behind this mess is a close friend and former student of Jordan Peterson, btw. So yeah, he wants his mother to jerk him off.

Tom Prentice

I can’t remember if the guys covered Sea of Trees before, but that’s another absolute bag of shite that Watts is inexplicably in. And I never saw that Princess Diana one but it’s apparently horse piss.

Jamie

Dan Olson said it best: the daughter is not a character. She is a prop.

SilverHairedMiddleAgedTuxedoMask

Hey I've heard the boys bring up in previous episodes a "Reign of Fire" We Hate Movies episode they did but can't find it on any of their feeds including this one, was that some higher tier podcast I'm missing?

Felipe Sobreiro

I've wanted this episode since this movie came out, what a delight

Matt

"Hot out the hole" coffee - EVERYWHERE

Evan

"A genius was born from a really stupid lady once before." Well now that's my new favorite sentence. Thank you, Eric. 🫡

Jason

It’s shocking that Book of Henry 2: Chinese Semen Milkers never got green lit.

Ryan Zepp

Watts had The Return in 2017

Knut Farstad

Naomi Watts was amazing in Twin Peaks, you idiots! How could you forget?

Eren Keskin

I know right? They even had a deal with Lego but I heard the suction blocks were a choking hazard.

MarkNM

This thing sounds like a rejected episode of Malcolm in the Middle where Dewey accidentally ingests peyote and hallucinates an alternate life.

Barista Bran

When the guys use the nasally Matthew Broderick voice for Henry I picture an adult Matthew Broderick head with a child's body

Busiris

The phrase "hot out the hole" might be the pinnacle of moments from this podcast where I had to stop what I was doing and sit down for a moment.

I.C. Weiner

Reign of Fire is episode 68. It is in the archives

MarkNM

The best NiN song.

Luke Gordnier

“And Matthew Broadrick as Henry”

Matt

no fucking way lmao

MarkNM

Speaking of getting away with it...

Gone

“He’s a mimbo!” And then I yelled in my car about how there’s already a word for it and it’s “himbo” and they were so close to it. Also with them already referencing Collateral Beauty in the episode I’m surprised “cold out the hole” didn’t dig up a “Cold Tykes Club” reference.

RJ Cunningham

“This had Oscar written all over it…” *me and Andrew at the same time and tone* “noooo.”

RonnieSoak

It was simply THE best! Also great name for a news segment where they do exit interviews with newborns. "Yeah, when I was shipping out with my fellow se(a)men, little did I know I was to be the only one who'd survive. Then I was locked up in that cavern for 9 months. When the walls started to close in, I just knew I had to get out of there!" Or something like that. Thank you Cabin!

Laura Coleman

Omg you do your best work with family dramas.

Tim O'

Bryan Cranston is already on Malcolm and Dean Norris is in this movie. Maybe Malcolm just falls into a Breaking Bad episode.

Dan sulin

My wife once accidentally convinced her brother to watch this movie because she confused it with the movie Book of Eli.

Kevin Lynch

What is this tube? What’s this toothpaste? What are teeth? HELP!” is my new favorite line of WHM

Tala Hobballah

TW: Speaking of Bill Murray he assaulted Naomi Watts on Watch What Happens Live! And that smarmy prick got no consequences.

Tala Hobballah

It really sucks actresses get stuck in a certain role after 40 and when anyone tries to hire them against type people clown it. Let hot older ladies be leads!

I.C. Weiner

Resident large brain tumor haver here to bring the mood down. This movie made me genuinely regret introducing my wife to my neurosurgeon, now I'm worried he has the hots for her and is going to accidentally 😉 cause me to have a fatal stroke, and uh oh, no more IC Weiner to warm your bed. ETA: Going through this I can tell you the MRI is sufficient to tell the doctors whether the tumor is operable or not. Doctor Big Dick opened up that kids head to make him suffer and get the mom into the hospital for him to hit on

Winson Paine

She was the anchor of Twin Peaks the Return, amazing work

Shawn

Glad this pile of dirt got the WHM treatment it deserved. Hoping you guys eventually take Dear Evan Hansen to the cleaners as well.

Shawn

It’s episode 68 so it’s in the archives. Hope that helps!

Troglodyke

Why is it that every movie I've seen with a child genius always ends with the kid dying?

Robert

Damn, the e-Trade baby lied? Can’t trust anyone nowadays

Gavin Byrne

Henry seemed to be actually sweet on the neighbour girl and yet before he knew he was going to die he was actively working on a plan to make her his step sister?

Jamie

Real Richie Tenenbaum vibes

Sara Syd

Mimbo is the Seinfeld version, i.e. Male bimbo

Jan

Never seen & probs never will

Ed Harris

JFC, you guys are made of sterner stuff than I am, because I would have made it about five minutes into this thing before my inner screenwriter kicked in to make me turn it off and watch anything else. Apparently the director thinks the film is a retelling of the first Star Wars movie. I really wish Siskel & Ebert were around for this one because the roasting they would have given it both in print and on their show would be a legit cure for sadness. Top notch episode, guys.

Matthew Lloyd

The way the guys were talking about Henry speaking to his mum made me think of the Trinity killer dinner scene from Dexter.

Todd B

Re: the idea of Naomi Watts seeing Henry as an adult till the very end - just a reminder, Jaeden has played Michael Shannon's kid in two separate roles. "He runs the cops and his brother runs CPS, Mom. Killing him's the only way, hep hep!"

Rose Esposito

I just saw that on Wikipedia and immediately came here, lol. EXPLAINS A LOT.

Moe Tilden

The Impossible is the movie you single out as the bad Naomi Watts movie? That was a really good flick and she's fantastic in it! You want bad Naomi Watts, check out that new Ryan Murphy Kim Kardashian show, woof.

Alex

I'm not saying I would sacrifice a child for a big dick doctor that looks like Lee Pace but...

Rose Esposito

I would slaughter a whole class of younglings for Lee Pace, and I'm not even interested in the big ol' dick.

Alex

Rose The Hat is my inspiration for the Lee Pace ritual

Rose Esposito

I keep my headphones on during movie trailers because I'm annoying about spoilers, but trying to keep it together tonight before Die My Love with Eric imitating Dean Norris "Lockjawing" himself, followed by "boop-boop-b-boop-boop-boop!" of everyone's assholes buttoning up at the talent show was a real challenge for me, folks. This might be an all-timer episode.

Craig

Same!

Rhea

I’ve been waiting for this my whole life (I’m 8 years old)

Christopher Oxentine

I never saw this, but I have always liked Jurassic World though.

Tim Batson

How good would it be, if Lee Pace was replaced by Eric Roberts and we got a Dr. Beck cameo instead?

Jonathan Lyons

What is the tone of this supposed to be? A lot of it would make more if it was dark comedy. But it feels like it had an identity crisis going. Oh shit, are in identity now? I have schizophrenia. That must be Eric or Andrew. Neither of them like doctors

Joseph Xavier

A great episode for a film I'll never watch - you're doing God's work